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25.4.12 2330
The 7 - Pro Wrestling - SmackDown #650 2-3-12
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It's False
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#1 Posted on 4.2.12 0331.15
Reposted on: 4.2.19 0334.49
I'm on my way to Vegas for the Super Bowl, so we're going Q'n'D this week with some brief comments.

-Teddy Long opens the show by booking the SD Chamber match. It's Daniel Bryan defending against Big Show, Mark Henry, Randy Orton, Wade Barrett, and Cody Rhodes.

-Mark Henry takes umbrage to having to fight five other guys, so he puts his hands on Teddy Long and gets suspended indefinitely. Yes, they FINALLY and MERCIFULLY wrote out Mark Henry to give him a chance to rest up. And in what can be interpreted as the E's way of apologizing, Sheamus lays out Henry, which would theoretically give Henry a world title feud to return to (assuming Sheamus wins the title at Mania). This leaves one EC spot open.

-Sheamus d. Cody Rhodes. Cody Rhodes took offense to Sheamus winning the Rumble after Cody did the heavy lifting, which led to this match. Sheamus wins with the Celtic Cross (Finlay's old finisher, which is not to be confused with the High Cross).

-Justin Gabriel v. Hunico goes to a No Contest, as Cody jumps Gabriel to keep that alleged feud going. The Great Khali makes the save and wipes out Hunico with the Tree Slam.

-Epico & Primo d. Santino Marella & Hacksaw Jim Duggan. Yes, they already shipped Yoshi Tatsu back to Jobberville, presumably never to be seen on any of the big two shows again. New partner, same result. Start taking bets on who Santino recruits for next week.

-Michael Cole interviews Daniel Bryan and tries to take back his criticisms, to which Bryan tells him pretty much to fuck off. Good for him. Bryan pulls some more plays out of the classic CM Punk playbook, noting that he's Straight Edge vegan and is therefore better than everyone. Big Show comes out to advocate for carnivorous lifestyles, which leads to AJ's big return. Bryan tries for the heel ambush and Show winds up getting the better of things, but AJ stops him from committing bodily harm. Bryan and AJ leave together.

-"The Glamazon" Beth Phoenix & Natalya d. Aksana & Tamina. For anyone who cares, they're actually sticking with Natalya farting as a permanent gimmick. Who did she piss off? Beth wins with the Glam Slam in 45 seconds. Post-match, Tamina lays out Natalya again. Crowd doesn't give a crap. This division is just DEATH at this point, going nowhere fast. Kharma/Beth is the absolute last major feud this division has left.

-The Great Khali is named as Mark Henry's replacement for the EC match. Damn...I was 100% sure that Christian would have returned for that final slot.

-Randy Orton d. Wade Barrett in a No DQ match. RKO on a chair ends this cleanly and presumably blows this feud off, once and for all. Post-match, Teddy Long books Daniel Bryan/Randy Orton for next week. Wow, they're giving that match away awfully fast.

Back to normal next week! Until then!
Promote this thread!
John Orquiola
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#2 Posted on 4.2.12 0733.55
Reposted on: 4.2.19 0734.23
AJ's neckbrace was missing a bow tie. Other than that, THE HUG. That was the sweetest hug in WWE since the first time Stone Cold Steve Austin hugged Mr. McMahon. THE HUG! Awwwww. So sweet! Daniel's face during the hug! Amazing. That hug belongs in a 2012 "My Sacrifice" video, if WWE still made those. I'll remember and cherish that hug forever.

I was concerned that Cole would break and begin extolling the virtues of Daniel Bryan but he couldn't quite get there. Good. I just can't fathom a world where Michael Cole cheers for Daniel Bryan, no matter how awesome Bryan is.

YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!

I realized why Natalya has uncontrollable flatulence. It's so obvious. After a month of taking Superfly splashes from Tamina, Natalya's intestines are damaged. She has internal injuries that are causing her to fart uncontrollably. She needs to see a doctor, maybe Dr. Heiney. But I bet I'm right, and that I've given this more thought than WWE Creative has.
Spiraling_Shape
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#3 Posted on 4.2.12 0835.00
Reposted on: 4.2.19 0835.49
Santino already did the searching-for-a-tag-partner gimmick like two years ago! That's how he ended up with Kozlov!

From the Torch:
"In an apparent attempt to maintain a level of maturity with a flatulence storyline, WWE is describing Natalya's new gimmick as an "addition" to her warm-up routine. The backstage segment from Smackdown has Natalya and Beth Phoenix warming up, sound effects simulating farting, and Santino walking into the scene to "sell the effects." The video was accompanied by a description on YouTube reading, "Smackdown: Natalya makes an awkward addition to her pre-match warm-up with Beth Phoenix.""

Just awful...one of the worst things they've done in a while...
John Orquiola
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#4 Posted on 4.2.12 0841.26
Reposted on: 4.2.19 0841.27
    Originally posted by Spiraling_Shape
    From the Torch:
    "In an apparent attempt to maintain a level of maturity with a flatulence storyline, WWE is describing Natalya's new gimmick as an "addition" to her warm-up routine. The backstage segment from Smackdown has Natalya and Beth Phoenix warming up, sound effects simulating farting, and Santino walking into the scene to "sell the effects." The video was accompanied by a description on YouTube reading, "Smackdown: Natalya makes an awkward addition to her pre-match warm-up with Beth Phoenix.""

    Just awful...one of the worst things they've done in a while...


I agree. James Caldwell of The Torch is one of the worst wrestling writers out there. His "analysis" is almost always utterly useless and obvious. Yeah, I know you meant the farting angle is terrible. They're both terrible.

(edited by John Orquiola on 4.2.12 0642)
Toast Jr
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#5 Posted on 4.2.12 1129.14
Reposted on: 4.2.19 1129.51
    Originally posted by It's False
    Bryan pulls some more plays out of the classic CM Punk playbook, noting that he's Straight Edge vegan and is therefore better than everyone


I'm dying to know how being vegan prevents congenital heart failure. This could be a real boon to the medical community!
Big Bad
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#6 Posted on 4.2.12 1305.58
Reposted on: 4.2.19 1307.33
At least Natalya hasn't bugged Beth about changing their team name to the Fart Foundation.

(edited by Big Bad on 4.2.12 1406)
JustinShapiro
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#7 Posted on 4.2.12 1402.24
Reposted on: 4.2.19 1402.34
Caldwell is a robot. They need more of that Parks guy.
geemoney
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#8 Posted on 4.2.12 1409.56
Reposted on: 4.2.19 1410.01
    Originally posted by JustinShapiro
    They need more of that Parks guy.

QFT. And a cheap plug :)
emma
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#9 Posted on 4.2.12 1638.11
Reposted on: 4.2.19 1638.14
    Originally posted by Toast Jr
      Originally posted by It's False
      Bryan pulls some more plays out of the classic CM Punk playbook, noting that he's Straight Edge vegan and is therefore better than everyone


    I'm dying to know how being vegan prevents congenital heart failure. This could be a real boon to the medical community!
Glad it wasn't just me who caught that.

I was solidly expecting AJ to come back with the footage from a different camera angle, showing that DB deliberately shoved her into Show's path. I guess somebody thinks that dragging this confused tweenerness out is a good thing. In the 3 live shows I've been to recently, some audiences get it & consider that he's already turned & are actively booing DB (Las Vegas), some still cheer him like the underdog, bla-bla (Phoenix - really??); & some are still divided (Tucson). I will say he's actually somewhat more interesting in this heel-playing-face position, although I'm not convinced that it's a good thing to sustain. Eh, we'll see.

This farting thing -- totally unacceptable. If they want somebody to fart, have the vegan do it.
Big G
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#10 Posted on 4.2.12 2009.59
Reposted on: 4.2.19 2011.00
I think the bottom burp angle is the 2012 equivalent of "Diva ABC is fat (but actually isn't) so we're going to do an angle mocking them".

EDIT: Now that I think about it (and I really wish I hadn't) given how many superstars are most likely eating a high protien diet, I would imagine that none of the hallways at WWE events are particularly sweet.

(edited by Big G on 4.2.12 2123)
dMp
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#11 Posted on 5.2.12 0216.30
Reposted on: 5.2.19 0217.06
The Sheamus-Rhodes match was pretty good.
It's been a while since Sheamus had a match where he didn't hulk up and ignore his opponents offense.
Other than the Celtic Cross, he also started using the rolling slam that Finlay always did. Cool.

The Orton-Barrett match was solid.
I assume they do Bryan vs Orton to get more heat on the various competitors in the chamber.
If Bryan sneaks away with a win they can do the thing where everyone is gunning for him (and not just for the title itself)

As good as the hug between AJ and DB was what he said when they walked up the ramp. How he'd protect her and wouldn't let her get hurt again. This was after he flew out of the ring when Big Show let him go (and thus leaving AJ alone with Show)

Oh, and Beth tagging herself in to glamslam Aksana must mean that the divas of doom are officially over.
For a moment I had a vision on how this should lead to Natalya vs Kharma vs Beth, but that'd never happen.
Quezzy
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#12 Posted on 6.2.12 0127.57
Reposted on: 6.2.19 0128.23
I can't believe they are dubbing in farting noises and not letting Natalya fart hardway. Oh well, family friendly show and all that.
Big G
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#13 Posted on 6.2.12 0559.13
Reposted on: 6.2.19 0559.18
How long before Santino starts walking around with a can of Glen20?
wannaberockstar
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#14 Posted on 6.2.12 1135.24
Reposted on: 6.2.19 1135.33
I want to send all the "writers" in a rocket ship to the moon if the best they can come up with are juvenile body noise gimmicks.

And they wonder why no one is invested in the characters.
JustinShapiro
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#15 Posted on 6.2.12 1149.15
Reposted on: 6.2.19 1149.30
I'd hate to accuse someone of this without probable cause, especially under smelt it dealt it bylaws, but the Fartalya idea is so painfully thoughtless that I wonder if it came from turning an hilarious real-life incident into a TV angle to poke fun at her.

(edited by JustinShapiro on 6.2.12 1250)
shawnpatrick
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#16 Posted on 6.2.12 1901.54
Reposted on: 6.2.19 1906.42
Time to for them to let Dean Malenko go and allow someone fresh to take over the Diva's division.
CHAPLOW
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#17 Posted on 7.2.12 0109.47
Reposted on: 7.2.19 0115.28
    Originally posted by emma
    I guess somebody thinks that dragging this confused tweenerness out is a good thing. In the 3 live shows I've been to recently, some audiences get it & consider that he's already turned & are actively booing DB (Las Vegas), some still cheer him like the underdog, bla-bla (Phoenix - really??); & some are still divided (Tucson). I will say he's actually somewhat more interesting in this heel-playing-face position, although I'm not convinced that it's a good thing to sustain. Eh, we'll see.



Daniel Bryan's heel playing face thing is ok with me, but I just wish it wasnt in the midst of too much similar indecisiveness in the booking.

What I mean is... Triple H should have turned on Punk but he didnt and we didnt know who was the bad guy. Laurinitis is a half-cocked bad guy (is he really bad?! there's no commitment!). Now Daniel Bryan, and of course they keep teasing a Cena heel turn... I guess that's what they're doing?

It just sucks. It's giving me indigestion.
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