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From: Central Florida, somewhere between Orlando and Tampa, U.S.A.
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|AIM: || ||#1 Posted on 11.7.02 0054.01 |
Reposted on: 11.7.09 0055.54
| Perhaps this is the wrong place to post this, and perhaps I should just keep my posts to wrestling, cartoons, and music, but....|
I've been thinking a lot lately about a lovely young woman who's currently a friend and who I'm going to see next month. While I realize that all women are unique, and what some might like on here, she might not prefer, I would greatly appreciate it if some of the forum folk (especially the lady folk) might be able to offer some suggestions or advice on some of the following matters:
1) If someone you considered to be just a friend asked you out somewhere for some slow dancing, what would your reaction be? Would you want to go with him for that, or would you turn him down? (I have a funny feeling that this might be coming on too strong, but I figured I'd ask about it.)
2) If you were/are a single, white, working woman in her mid-to-late-20s, and you wanted to go somewhere in the suburbs with a male friend for a few hours during an August summer night so you could talk about anything and everything, where might you like to go - other than a walk in the park or to a restaurant or coffeehouse for some coffee and such?
3) If you've been involved in a long-distance relationship with someone as lovers, what were some of the things that you and s/he did that helped the relationship to work? What were some of the pitfalls and pratfalls that you wish you had been able to work around or to avoid?
As I said before, any advice or suggestions that anyone can offer on any of these would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!
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From: New York, NY
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|AIM: || ||#2 Posted on 11.7.02 0104.18 |
Reposted on: 11.7.09 0107.50
| The other two depend too much on the individual person, but I do wanna comment on the first one.|
If someone you considered to be just a friend asked you out somewhere for some slow dancing, what would your reaction be? Would you want to go with him for that, or would you turn him down? (I have a funny feeling that this might be coming on too strong, but I figured I'd ask about it.)
Dude, if you don't want her to think of you as "just a friend" forever, you better do SOMETHING like this and quick. But don't ask like a dork. Don't ask like you're proposing marriage. Ask with an (unspoken) attitude that says, "hey, I like you, you like me, so let's do this thing together, it'll be fun." But the answer is, yes. Think "yes".
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From: Dallas TX
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|AIM: || ||#3 Posted on 11.7.02 0221.22 |
Reposted on: 11.7.09 0221.48
| Well, I'm not the authority on how to talk to the ladies but I know someone who is. Here's a sample:|
I am the man of your dreams and desires. I will satisfy you, if only you would allow me the pleasure. I will swear on my honor as a man that I will do you right until the morning light. I will fulfill your every wish. And I will use oils if necessary.
I am also envisioning you hitting the uppermost dimension of ecstasy as I propel you through the universe of my love aboard the spaceship of my strong back, with myself as the captain of this cosmic journey through the sexual stratosphere to our passion meteor.
I am the man for you, and I will make you want to get down and get funk-ass nasty with me. I will make you scream and shout all hours of the night. I will make sweet love to you like no man has ever before.
In addition to all of that, I will wash you.
Here's a link to more of the same:
Hope that helps.
(edited by thesporq on 11.7.02 0224)
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|AIM: || |
|ICQ: || ||#4 Posted on 11.7.02 0806.34 |
Reposted on: 11.7.09 0811.10
| Go to a bar, get drunk, have wild sex. See where that takes you. Certainly gets you past the just friends thing. If it doesn't develop into a relationship, at least ya'll now have the booty call option open while remaining friends. ; ) |
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|#5 Posted on 11.7.02 0840.04 |
Reposted on: 11.7.09 0848.40
| Good spots to take girls to I find is anywhere private and secluded that involves water, a good private spot where you can walk and chill near a river, lake, creek, pond, etc. It's quiet, intimate, and the beauty of the nature (plus the girl) make it awesome. |
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|#6 Posted on 11.7.02 0917.40 |
Reposted on: 11.7.09 0917.44
| You say, "Hello, The Most Beautiful Girl In The World." She will likely reply "Hello, [your name here]," and the conversation will progress from there.|
That's an odd name, though. Were her parents 60's rock stars?
(My favorite anecdotal exchange of this nature was from when Kibo met Claudia Christian...
Kibo: Hello. What would you say to a little fuck?
Claudia: Hello, little fuck.)
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|#7 Posted on 11.7.02 0945.37 |
Reposted on: 11.7.09 0946.12
| Well, I'm a newlywed, and I consulted my wife on this to make sure I'm giving good advice.|
First off, we agreed that successful long-distance relationships are few and far between, especially if you don't already have that kind of rapport with one another. One of the things that is essential to a relationship is time spent together, and long-distance relationships usually lack in this area.
If this woman is already a friend, and you want it to be something more, the first thing you should focus on is having fun together. The happiest couples are those that are those that enjoy the simple things together. I wouldn't worry too much about creating a romantic evening right off the bat. Take her somewhere where you know she'll feel comfortable and enjoy your company.
NEVER UNDERESTIMATE COMPLIMENTS! You've told us that she's the most beautiful woman in the world to you; have you told her? Tell her (not necessarily all at once) all the things that you love about her. If you make her feel good about herself, she'll want to be with you that much more.
Finally, don't put pressure on her. Just let the relationship take its course, and don't feel bad if you end up with a better friendship instead of a romantic relationship.
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From: Wassenaar, The Netherlands
Since last post: 203 days
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|#8 Posted on 11.7.02 1020.48 |
Reposted on: 11.7.09 1029.02
| And one more MANLY answer...|
Always be honest and respectful. Think "Yes" but if it turns out to be "No" then don't sweat it. Don't blow her off, just regroup and try something else. If she makes it clear she's not intrested in you that way then let it be. Be cool, though. Show her why she SHOULD be intrested.
Making them feel comfortable is SO important. Plan something special that will not be over-the-top obvious. She has to realise though that you spent some time putting it together FOR HER. Women love it when they know you are doing stuff to please her.
Good luck, dude. The fact that you are putting in this type of effort is already a good thing!
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From: Back in the Heart of Hali
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|AIM: || |
|Y!: ||#9 Posted on 11.7.02 1026.55 |
Reposted on: 11.7.09 1029.05
| For starters, WyldeWolf1 gives good advice.|
I have taken part in more than one long distance relationship. I've also abstained from getting involved in at least one. The questions (for me) are usually along the lines of:
How long distance is it?
-- If occasional weekenders are possible you're a lot better off. Are we talking driving distance or transatlantic flights?
How long is it likely to remain long distance?
-- If the only thing likely to bring you two into the same zip code is the relationship, you've got an awfully long road ahead of you. Of course you're much better off if one of you is already planning to move to where the other is at some future point or if there are other reasons for one to visit the other's area (i.e. family, other friends, etc.).
Do you really see a future, or are you hoping?
-- If you see a legitimate future in living through the difficulties that plague such a situation, by all means go for it. Bear in mind, though, that long distance relationships usually work out much better if the relationship is in place before the long distance part happens.
As for your original questions, try not to be too heavy-handed. Asking someone to go out for `some slow dancing' strikes me as rather forward (and terribly, terribly obvious). I'd be more inclined to suggest `dancing' and try to find a place where there's a mix so's I could pick my spots. She's in her mid-late twenties? Find an eighties night somewhere. She'll get excited and drag you up onto the dance floor for something upbeat, and sticking around for the slow songs will be natural. Make sure she's having fun before you go trying anything romantic. If you're after a relationship and not a one-night stand, and you don't want to blow the friendship that you already have, best be letting nature take its course.
An August night in the suburbs? You got me on that one. I wouldn't go for totally private and secluded (otherwise, why not just stay at home). Just make sure it's somewhere relaxed and not too loud for conversation.
Lastly, telephones and various methods of computer chatting are your friend in an LDR. They're not the same as being there, but you can't do much better. If she's not a computer user, prepare for absurd phone bills. If one of you can't communicate effectively by these methods, it simply will not work. As for pitfalls and pratfalls, in some ways a long distance relationship is a pitfall. You really have to want it to work -- and if both of you feel the same way it just might.
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|#10 Posted on 11.7.02 1036.39 |
Reposted on: 11.7.09 1041.23
| 1) Slow dancing is too cliche. You'll never get her that way. It's painfully obvious...take her to do something fun, man, cause woah girls, they wanna have fu-un. They just wanna have fun.|
2) AGAIN - don't do anything cliche. Movies, dinner, walking by a beach...BAH! Be inventive and make the damn thing memorable, even if you're going out in a blaze of glory and it all falls apart, she will look back on it and think you rock.
Recommendation: the zoo. Chicks love animals, plus it's got the primal, natural vibe to it. Also check out auto racing (though not too loud it'll hurt her ears) because she's probably never been and all the power and danger will turn her on (wrestling works too, but you'd better look like The Rock).
If all else fails, take her to a music or book store and buy her a bunch of good shit. She doesn't want teddy bears and roses...she wants you to tickle her mind.
DO NOT DO THE QUIET PLACE TO TALK ROUTINE. If you MUST take her out to eat, don't go to some swank $75 per plate restaurant. It'll make her nervous. She'll start thinking about whether she's over/under dressed, she'll worry about what to order, etc. Go for cheap-ass pizza and beer, then sit in the booth and talk till the place closes if all goes well.
I know all this sounds crazy, but you've got to use reverse psychology. Go for comfortability and fun. It's kind of like the Tao of Steve.
3) It just doesn't work in the real world, dude. But that's just my opinion (still, I've been married for five years to a great woman, so I've had some degree of success in these matters).
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From: Modesto, CA
Since last post: 3507 days
Last activity: 3501 days
|#11 Posted on 11.7.02 1154.00 |
Reposted on: 11.7.09 1159.01
| Whatever happened to the one great nightly event in Modesto, CA- going out for coffee?|
My only advice, Rage, is that being interested in "friends" who are not interested in you is very painful business. Just don't put yourself through it. Make it blantantly known that you are interested in something more than a friendship at some point, if she doesn't get the message some other way. If she says no way, then just back away and literally don't talk to the person again. Don't be rude, just say "Ok", say its been nice knowing you, but I don't want to be "just friends" (what a bullshit label) accept defeat, and move on. If she realizes she's made a mistake, then MAKE HER COME TO YOU, and make sure she's not just doing it out of pitty, make sure she REALLY likes you. If you never hear from her again, then you know she really wasn't interested and you cut your losses. But this way you put the ball in HER court without being too weird about it. Just say "Look I am just not comfortable being friends with someone I am interested in, so I'll see you around sometime." Make it all or nothing.
Sorry, but I just don't believe in putting yourself through more pain than necessary in these kinds of situations. Make your point clear, see what she says, react. Be very freakin professional and mechanical about it. Get Vulcan on her. Sticking around to see if she will hopefully be interested some day in not logical. Move on, find someone else, don't waste time. If it was meant to be then it will come to you, trust me on that.
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