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The 7 - Recap Feedback - Year in Quotes 2001: SEPTEMBER 2001 RAWs Register and log in to post!
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Andouille
Level: 87

Posts: 22/2042
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Since: 3.1.02
From: Philly

Since last post: 3068 days
Last activity: 282 days
#1 Posted on 11.1.02 0941.48
Reposted on: 11.1.09 1052.09
Also, these "inside the character" pieces hyping Star Trek: The Next Generation REALLY, REALLY suck. I could have made *hours* of "Trek This Week" public access goodness available and it would have been a lot more entertaining AND informative! But we all know that all these authors have this incest thing going with Paramount, and....oh sorry, I heard that I was talking too much about non-wrestling stuff by people who couldn't SKIP A PARAGRAPH
RAW IS WAR 3.9.2001

TONIGHT: The Rock puts the forty pounds of gold and diamonds on the line against Christian!
RAW IS WAR 3.9.2001

Austin enters his dressing room to a SURPRISE! from the Alliance. Stephanie delivers a big speech, but as I'm still on vacation you don't get a transcript.
RAW IS WAR 3.9.2001

Bubba Ray covers - 1, 2, 3. I don't have to tell you both men were legal...but I just did. (3:21 Contact)
RAW IS WAR 3.9.2001

WOW! It's an exciting DOOR!
RAW IS WAR 3.9.2001

WHY did I just type up Debra's entire spiel?
RAW IS WAR 3.9.2001

I'm still inclined to completely blow off calling Billy Gunn matches but I suppose this is a significant match for Christian, so here we go:
RAW IS WAR 10.9.2001

Both men are motionless - LISTEN TO THAT CROWD! - and after FIFTEEN SOLID SECONDS OF NOTHING - finally Christian is over to take a right from Gunn...
RAW IS WAR 10.9.2001

To a dressing room we go, where Test and Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley are watching on a monitor...I smell an impromptu acting competition!
RAW IS WAR 10.9.2001

Okay, first of all Stephanie really wants you to check out her cleavage. Second of all, if Test's career has been on such a roll, why would he need help to beat the Rock? (Well, because there's only so much you can do with a shoehorn.) What's that? (C'mon, I'll bet you A MILLION DOLLARS I know who the Rock will pick for Test's partner.) Oh. OHHHHHHHHHHH shit you're right. Third of all, if they're gonna try to spring CONTINUITY on us by reminding us - YET again - that Stephanie left Test, wouldn't it at least help if she ALSO called him "Andrew?" Or does continuity only work when it's used at 50% strength? Last but not least, IF ROCK DOESN'T MAKE IT TO UNFORGIVEN THEN BOOKER CAN'T GET THE TITLE BACK AND MY HEAD HURTS NOW Really, if you MUST book at Test/Stephanie vs. Rock match - and apparently, you MUST - there's got to be at least ONE way to better write it into effect than with this God-awful, hideous backstage vignette THING segment. Now we're moving into "say something about Stephanie and writing" territory which I try to avoid at all costs, so it's time I took a deep breath and attempted to move on.
RAW IS WAR 10.9.2001

LOOK! It's an exciting DOOR! And Kevin Kelly is NOT standing in front of it!
RAW IS WAR 10.9.2001

Cole makes the face of a man who's just seen a flaky, paper thin pastry dough stuffed with a layer of apples, then a layer of walnuts, and finally sprinkled with lemon juice. (Golly, is that REALLY what Rock wants us to think of his dick as? Maybe someone should have caught up to Rock and said "I do not think that means what you think it means" or something.)
RAW IS WAR 10.9.2001

Tough Enough 2 auditions are COMING! Send in your tape now - "don't miss this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!" says Ross. "Or twice," says me. YEAH I hope that "Nas-TEE" lady applies again!
RAW IS WAR 10.9.2001

THOSE DAMN DUDLEYZ and RHYNO THE MAN BEAST (with RAW Credits & transmitido en espanol SAP & TV-14-DLV & CC boxes) v. APA and CHRIS MONDAY JERICHO - My God! THIS must be that match that we'll all look back at years from now as THE PIVOTAL TURNING POINT in the WWF/Alliance shodown....ahhhhhhhh FUCK IT.
RAW IS WAR 10.9.2001

Referee "Blind" Mike Chioda misses all this because he's off in the other corner, discussing the origins of the saying "Don't Mess with Texas" with Bradshaw.
RAW IS WAR 10.9.2001

Booker T shadow boxes!
Meanwhile, Undertaker ALSO shadow boxes! But he is *also* WALKING!!
RAW IS WAR 10.9.2001

Kane - I'm begging ya - if it didn't work the FIRST time, it ain't gonna work the SECOND time - just PUT THE CHEF BOYARDEE BIG BEEFARONI DOWN, SON
RAW IS WAR 10.9.2001

Inside WWF New York, there are PEOPLE!
RAW IS WAR 10.9.2001

Here's a Special Video Look we've seen before - it's that same old story, really... boy tosses medals - boy kidnaps boy - boy challenges boy - boy inexplicably pins boy thanks to timely run-in from boy...
...boy.
RAW IS WAR 10.9.2001

Stephanie promises that unlike last week, she won't be on commentary - she'll be on the apron, making sure this match is successful. Then she sings the theme from "Malcolm in the Middle" to Shane! Wow! (She doesn't, really.)
RAW IS WAR 17.9.2001

Trish Stratus shills Stacker 2 - oof - they're almost making me miss Chyna...almost
RAW IS WAR 17.9.2001

Raven starts channelling Mr. Bill AND Mr. Hands ("I would NEVER put you in the wood chipper!" "Yes you would, you suck!" "Oh, I suck, do I?") before taping Moppy's mouth shut with duct tape, and... oh, I should also note that Raven fails to actually put his safety goggles around his eyes (they stay around his neck) and...yes....puts Moppy through the wood chipper - which actually takes a bit longer (a LOT longer) than you'd expect. I wonder what Chavo Guerrero thinks of all this.
RAW IS WAR 17.9.2001

Heyman's a big ol' tease. (I think "big" is an unfortunate choice of words.) Ummm, well.
RAW IS WAR 17.9.2001

T holds Tazz up - Shane with a sitout Hart Attack off the ropes. Shane is a student of the classics!
RAW IS WAR 17.9.2001

Interestingly, Shane and Booker do the same kinda high five that I do when I'm at the bowling alley.
RAW IS WAR 17.9.2001

How DOES Kane eat, anyway? (Duh...he takes the mask off.) Or maybe he just uses a STRAW! Yeah! (Hey, you know it's not real, right?) WHAAAT?!?
RAW IS WAR 17.9.2001

Wow, Shane AND Stephanie get the falls in their respective matches tonight. I mean, who'da *thunk* it? (8:41)
RAW IS WAR 17.9.2001

PERSONAL REQUEST 2: Ha, ha, you skipped the above paragraph but I got you HERE!
RAW IS WAR 24.9.2001

Sorry, no comments about the Baywatch marathon; I was watching the Packers make the Redskins their collective BITCH. Gotta love the Redskins 'cause THEY LOST FOR *AMERICA!*
RAW IS WAR 24.9.2001

Wow, Kurt's mom is named Jackie....MY mom is named Jackie...coincidence? Also, my mother's maiden name is....yeah, right, I ain't tellin' YOU, you sneaky identity thief!
RAW IS WAR 24.9.2001

TONIGHT: Kurt Angle vs. Booker T. - and NOBODY is allowed at ringside! Well, except the commentators. And the timekeeper. And Lilian Garcia, I bet. Oh, and there'll probably be a ref in the ring. But THAT'S IT! Well, except the cameramen, maybe some sound guys, a few techs..but other than that, NOBODY allowed at ringside. By God, Commissioner Regal MEANS IT!
RAW IS WAR 24.9.2001

WCW U.S. TITLE: RHYNO WHO IS A MAN BEAST v. JEFF HARDY - Champion enters first because he ain't dressed like no NANCY BOY. (Which isn't to say, of course, that I wouldn't deck out like Jeff if *I* were prouder of my physique. YEAH RIGHT)
RAW IS WAR 24.9.2001

Backstage, Storm and Ivory discuss the strategy of their upcoming six-person match...Hurricane whooshes in with sound effect and *set a COURSE for HILARITY*
RAW IS WAR 24.9.2001

Here comes Molly - clothesline! Referee "Blind" Jimmy Korderas thinks "aha, HERE'S somebody I can muscle back into their corner!" and does so.
RAW IS WAR 24.9.2001

WWF CHAMPIONSHIP: KURT ANGLE v. BOOKER T (with RAW Credits, transmitido en espanol SAP, TV-14-DLV & CC boxes) - Champion enters first because he's white.
RAW IS WAR 24.9.2001

Hey! I can see the bottoms of that girl's boobs! Why aren't ALL the TNN ads like this?
RAW IS WAR 24.9.2001

"The following contest..." Christian takes the mic from LILIAN GARCIA. YAY!
RAW IS WAR 24.9.2001

Let Us Take You Back to Unforgiven, where Jennifer Holliday led it all off with "America the Beautiful" - her version running roughly like this: "OWWWWWWWWWW! I LOVE AMERICA! I LOVE AMERICA! OWWWWWWWWWW! AMERICA! HEEEEEEEEEEEEY! YEEEEEEEEEEAH! OWWWWWW!" Still, she has two more Grammys than I'LL ever have, I suppose.
While Ross tells us that Holliday captured "the spirit of ALL Americans," Heyman stares blankly, as if somebody'd just forced him to swallow a live goldfish...and he wasn't sure if it wasn't trying to swim back upstream.
RAW IS WAR 24.9.2001

van Dam limbers up - HE seems frozen in time as well. This is probably the point where Stephanie shows up and looks at his crotch...nope, it's Raven. (Wait - what are you saying about Raven then?) Ha ha, I get it. That was a good one. No, it's Raven and Terri.
RAW IS WAR 24.9.2001

We cut to a shot of....yikes, it's Diamond Dallas Page and he's up close for GLEEM.
RAW IS WAR 24.9.2001

I have to admit, my inner smark shone through and I waited this entire vignette for the Jeff Jarrett gold tooth sparkle....and I was DENIED.
RAW IS WAR 24.9.2001

Rock looks in a different direction as if to say "hey, how come you haven't started chanting my name yet? Don't make me come out there"
RAW IS WAR 24.9.2001

Well I think we could have gone all night without hearing the Rock say "afterbirth goo."
RAW IS WAR 24.9.2001

Stephanie throws a tantrum at the top of the ramp - Rock decides to hit the other two corners rather than continue to subject himself to a further viewing of Stephanie's "acting ability."
RAW IS WAR 24.9.2001




HELLO KITTY gang terrorizes city, family STICKERED to death!
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