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The 7 - Recap Feedback - Year in Quotes 2001: MAY 2001 RAW Register and log in to post!
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Andouille
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Since: 3.1.02
From: Philly

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#1 Posted on 11.1.02 0929.24
Reposted on: 11.1.09 1031.19
Anyway, Rikishi complies and woo hoo look at the dancing fat man.
RAW IS WAR 7.5.2001

Despite was Ross says, Sexay is NOT a former champion, but his partner is! Damn, he's even got Heyman believing Sexay was a former champ.
RAW IS WAR 7.5.2001

COMMISSIONER REGAL v. CHRIS MONDAY JERICHO within the confines of the STEEL cage - pinfalls aren't counting tonight - you get out of the cage or you don't win. Referee "Blind" Jimmy Korderas manages the door, so look for me to say BUT THE DOOR IS RIGHT THERE! two or three times during this match.
RAW IS WAR 7.5.2001

Again Jericho's head meets the cyclone fencing. Regal makes coleslaw out of the cabbage that is Jericho's face.
RAW IS WAR 7.5.2001

When you hear Marilyn Manson, that's your cue to keeeeeeeeeep fast-forwarding
RAW IS WAR 7.5.2001

When I said "smark trap," last week, what I meant was they wanted people like me and them and that guy over there to go over the top with our "oh LOOK at her - she DOESN'T EVEN SELL - she's a PRIMA DONNA - she's ONLY interested in HERSELF" and unknowingly sell the angle they're trying to "surprise" us with. Got me?
RAW IS WAR 7.5.2001

MICK FOLEY returns - apparently, he found one of those magic ticket booths that sells front-row seats long after the show starts
RAW IS WAR 7.5.2001

The Rock was on the Tonight Show - he's a rehash! Oops, I mean "here's a rehash!" Anyway, "the Mummy Returns" had the highest non-holiday opening weekend in movie history, which surely must be a sign of the impending apocalypse...or something
RAW IS WAR 7.5.2001

Meanwhile, Rikishi - man, I don't *care* if he's a face now, but I *still* don't wanna see him doing squats from that camera angle
RAW IS WAR 7.5.2001

Vince walks over to Foley...who proudly displays his ticket stub. I bet HE didn't have to pay a $6.75 "convenience fee."
RAW IS WAR 7.5.2001

Wasting no time, MY NAME IS STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN hits the ring with a belt in each hand. After an appropriate interval, THE NEW MAN (with Stephanie Can't Act) also gets a long-ass entrance. Wow, all this entrance-ing sure is saving me lots of time. Five minutes down, about 120 to go!
RAW IS WAR 14.5.2001

Benoit goes into his tights (and Jericho WATCHES? ewww) and removes the medals.
RAW IS WAR 14.5.2001

As God is my witness I have NO idea why I transcribed all that.
RAW IS WAR 14.5.2001

Lita SQUATS! Chyna meets up with her - and off they are WALKING! See, when it's two WOMEN, *they* can walk AWAY from the camera so we can check out their goods...
RAW IS WAR 14.5.2001

Watch Coachman's lips - I think he's contracted Bischoff's Disease.
RAW IS WAR 14.5.2001

INTERESTING, YET DEPRESSING CRZ FACTOID: Did you know... I've produced approximately 2.2 MILLION words for WrestleLine?
RAW IS WAR 21.5.2001

By the way, over the course of the past few weeks Austin has established himself as the GREATEST HEEL EVER (for those with short memory spans, anyway). He could write a BOOK on being a heel. He needs to keep the belt until....say, WrestleMania 20. Yep. (A few months from now, we can wonder what the hell I was thinking when I said this)
RAW IS WAR 21.5.2001

Meanwhile, Kurt Angle arrives at the arena, proudly displaying his medals to everyone he walks by. "Good to see you, Bob." "My name is John." "Whatever - God bless America! Wooo!" Now, I don't want to alarm you, but while this was playing...I could have SWORN that some of these very WWF workers were within eyeshot, within the arena *while this segment was airing.* How - HOW CAN THEY BE IN TWO PLACES AT THE SAME TIME?????
RAW IS WAR 21.5.2001

"WWF Tough Enough" ad - oh man, I hope Tazz is wearing XFL gear throughout this ENTIRE run so we can CONSTANTLY be reminded of its FAILURE - oops. Anyway, it's coming soon to MTV (Slogan: When you think "music television," think "wrestling reality programming")
RAW IS WAR 21.5.2001

Terri's in a silk robe, as Sam Malone said when he first met Rebecca Howe, "abooeah."
RAW IS WAR 21.5.2001

X-Pac inspired me to shave off my beard with his stunningly close shaven good looks. (Perhaps I am overstating X-Pac's looks.)
RAW IS WAR 21.5.2001

Is Shane writing his own stuff, 'cause if anybody else had written it, I'm SURE somebody would have had the balls to tell that writer that those lines SUCKED.
RAW IS WAR 21.5.2001

Ross almost calls D-Von "Bubba Ray" - I guess all of Heyman's "Jewish" comments are rattling him.
RAW IS WAR 21.5.2001

Angle grabs the bad arm and hits - WOW, it's a wakigatame! Kane locks his knuckles, Angle tells him to let go so he does, Angle drops down - JUJIGATAME! And now, my friends, you know the difference. ("What? That doesn't help me AT ALL!") Okay, let's rewind and try it again.
RAW IS WAR 21.5.2001

Now SHUT UP ALREADY about how you don't like the WWF. If you couldn't find ONE thing to like about this show, I ain't got TIME FOR YA.
RAW IS WAR 21.5.2001

And here's that footage - you know, I doubt Jake Roberts is REALLY playing that horn. I'll bet Hulk Hogan *is* playing bass, though, but unfortunately we tune out just as his solo starts.
RAW IS WAR 28.5.2001

Various shots of Vince getting funky as I spy JYD and George Steele in the "band." Ross compares him to Tom Jones with the June Taylor dancers - and I sense a generation gap - nay, CHASM.
RAW IS WAR 28.5.2001

Hey, look! It's Canada! It's Calgary! It's the exterior of the Saddledome! HEY! I think some guy is squatting behind that tree there! Geez, haven't these guys hear about *indoor plumbing* YET?
RAW IS WAR 28.5.2001

Guerrero is wearing a Hardyz T-shirt, as well as a faggy - sorry, EFFEMINATE - Hardy trademark fishnetty arm thingamajig.
RAW IS WAR 28.5.2001

Enjoy those bogglin' eyes of Grand Master Sexay, 'cause WWF.com is reporting that since he was caught with drugs at the border, he's been SHITCANNED
RAW IS WAR 28.5.2001

During the Break, Storm sprinted up the steps, out the door, and hugged Shane McMahon, who proclaimed it "on." And, like I said, what *better* way to make a statement than to run in on Blackman/Stratus vs. Malenko/Terri?
RAW IS WAR 28.5.2001

You know, I never saw that "Owen" sign after the first segment...you don't think the sign police would...oh yes they would.
RAW IS WAR 28.5.2001

Ring flowerpot LILIAN GARCIA introduces Jericho as not only coholder of the tag team championship, but also the intercontinental champion, which probably comes as news to Kane.
RAW IS WAR 28.5.2001

Meanwhile, Albert is still trying to figure out how he just got pinned, given that he forgot to look at Lita and get distracted.
RAW IS WAR 28.5.2001

By golly, it's STILL daylight out in Calgary! Boy that Saddledome sure is *garishly* coloured.
RAW IS WAR 28.5.2001

You know what was good about that "Stand Back" footage, thinking back? It didn't have a WWF logo in the lower left corner. That's a subtle point, but it helps reinforce the notion that Jericho and Benoit, say, picked it up on Ebay.
RAW IS WAR 28.5.2001

You know, when Vince said "only you can appreciate this," I think he must have self-edited "and this cameraman" from that line...presumably in the interests of saving precious television time
RAW IS WAR 28.5.2001

I hope the Dudley Boyz aren't actually watching this replay on the EntertainmentTron, HMMMMM?! 'cause, you know, it sure looks like that could help clear up the misunderstanding, and it sure looks like D-Von WAS starting stageward this whole time.
RAW IS WAR 28.5.2001

Remember, every time they say "this is the Dudleyz SPECIALTY MATCH," what they're *really* saying is "the Dudleyz NEVER WIN this match."
RAW IS WAR 28.5.2001

Footage from the next day, as Stephanie McMahon was there to watch the operation and cry a lot - wow, she's really game to let the WWF cameras exploit her like that. I don't doubt for a moment those are real tears, too.
RAW IS WAR 28.5.2001

I will say this, it really makes this main event seem like a special, big deal when they have HOWARD FINKEL back out to make introductions - AFTER both men get their entrance (not to mention the champ entering first):
RAW IS WAR 28.5.2001

Hebner: "seven minutes." Pretend you didn't hear that.
RAW IS WAR 28.5.2001

That last bit right there - and Ross' final say on commentary - makes the subtle yet *incredibly important* difference between Vince Russo's multiple attempts to recreate Montreal, and this WWF team of writers' attempt to recreate Montreal (only, not exactly recreate it).
RAW IS WAR 28.5.2001




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