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The 7 - Recap Feedback - Year in Quotes 2000
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JasonMF
Longanisa
Level: 15

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Since: 9.1.02

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#1 Posted on 10.1.02 1133.52
Reposted on: 10.1.09 1157.17
Waaaaaait--what the heck is THIS? "Nash Bridges?" Where's my "Walker, Texas Ranger," dammit? WHERE'S MY "WALKER, TEXAS RANGER?!?"
RAW is WAR 7.8.0

No singing Chuck! No "'cause that's where the Ragner's gonna be!" No...God, it's so sad. No *wonder* I went to sleep instead of watching this show a second time to do the report.
RAW is WAR 7.8.0

Backstage, we see Road Dogg watching on the monitor - he must be toasted, because he makes funny pantomime motions about how big Rikishi's ass is and laughs. Then he scarfs an entire bag of Munchos in three seconds.
RAW is WAR 7.8.0

Rikishi drags him over to the corner - hey, remember when he used to do that Rikishi Driver? That was a cool move.
RAW is WAR 7.8.0

Say, how many times did Ross misidentify X-Pac as "Road Dogg" in this match? Hint: once is too many.
RAW is WAR 7.8.0

You know what would be the coolest right now? If Buh Buh Ray put down Richards and said "no no no...I want to powerbomb that ho at ringside!" Of course, they're faces now, so they can't do that. Sigh.
RAW is WAR 7.8.0

That Joe's got a real Canadian accent, don't he? Must explain all the visa problems.
RAW is WAR 7.8.0

Don't tell me it's time for the Worm ALREADY? Well, I guess so. Hi-ya.
RAW is WAR 7.8.0

STEPHANIE ONO is out. Call her a slut!
RAW is WAR 7.8.0

And now, the WWF Slam of the Week, brought to you by Snickers! From SmackDown!, Big Show puts Kane through a hole in the stage he made himself...well, with a little help from that guy under the stage.
RAW is WAR 7.8.0

Now some pyro goes off - looks like CHRIS MONDAY JERICHO is back, and just in the nick of time - Ross: "THAT'S CHRIS BENOIT!!" Michael Cole: "Can you BELIEVE they still let this guy call this show?"
RAW is WAR 7.8.0

Moments Ago - another angle of Jericho appearing - if he REALLY wanted to get the surprise entrance, he'd have not had his pyro and music go off - but that's just me.
RAW is WAR 7.8.0

You know what - I'd love to slap you across your face, but it looks like God already beat me to it." Crowd (and me): "OHHHHHH!"
RAW is WAR 7.8.0

Let Us Take You Back to Moments Ago. You know what's fun? Count how many times you can hear Tazz audibly inhale while he's screaming.
RAW is WAR 7.8.0

Last Thursday, Drew Pearson was named GM of the New York/New Jersey XFL franchise. Lookit the crazy football! Lookit the crazy Vince McMahon!
RAW is WAR 7.8.0

Undertaker ducks the Show's right hand, then goes back to the rapid-fire body blows. He stole that from Yun Yang, you know.
RAW is WAR 7.8.0

Moments Ago - Show may lack conditioning, but he can still fall through some tables.

During the Break, Shane hightailed it to a waiting limo and drove off

Back live, the EMT's ask Show what day it is. He fails to answer.

Meanwhile, in Triple H's dressing room, Jericho flies in and attacks. They ruin a PERFECTLY good plate of fruit

SummerSlam promo - hey, I thought the Kat and Terri had issues - how come they're all friendly on the beach, huh? HUH? WHERE'S YOUR CONTINUITY *NOW*?!?

That was a real nothin' happenin' segment, yo
RAW is WAR 7.8.0

GOD I wish somebody WOULD pop the lock so I wouldn't have to see this JC Penney ad anymore. Hey, how come they keep spelling it "Penny" in the fineprint? Somebody should be FIRED for that GRIEVOUS misspelling of the company name!
RAW is WAR 7.8.0

Ross proclaims Jericho's injury "near career-threating," which would explain why he's back after a whole ten days.
RAW is WAR 7.8.0

TONIGHT: From Hyatte Arena, another wacky night of a show that can coast until the competition forces otherwise. Kurt Angle, Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, Triple H, the Rock - all we have to do is SAY THE NAMES and you'll come running like a faithful dog. That's right, you're a DOG. A DOG
RAW is WAR 14.8.0

Man, I *still* can't get used to seeing "Nash Bridges" instead of "Walker: Texas Ranger." Of course, we used to say that we missed the "Murder: She Wrote" credits...
RAW is WAR 14.8.0

Ross promises "a loaded lineup tonight," which makes me wonder HOW they got loaded.
RAW is WAR 14.8.0

Well, here comes THE NEW MAN, removing shirt and powerwalking to the ring. Hey, when'd he become a face?
RAW is WAR 14.8.0

Let Us Take You Back to Moments Ago where Jericho snapped - he musta learned that from Shamrock.
RAW is WAR 14.8.0

Blackman: "WHO'S NEXT?" *Blackman is Goldberg*
RAW is WAR 14.8.0

Let Us Take You Back to Moments Ago, Because On This Show We Play EVERYTHING Twice
RAW is WAR 14.8.0

Moments Ago, Lita, Richards, Goodfather, Edge, Christian, Matt Hardy...and a cast of thousands
RAW is WAR 14.8.0

Tonight, RAW is WAR is brought to you by Burger, 1-800-CAL-LATT, and Bally Nipples - I mean, Total Fitness
RAW is WAR 14.8.0

Take a drink every time Shane says "Chill out" and you'll be in a coma
RAW is WAR 14.8.0

Undertaker raises his arm...it's time for the tombstone...dammit, I mean Last Ride.
RAW is WAR 14.8.0

Bradshaw suggests to Taka that he buy these guys a round of Kamikazes. I think Taka just threatened to choppy-choppy his pee-pee!
RAW is WAR 14.8.0

And now the WWF Burn of the Week, brought to you by Stacker 2! It burns MONEY!
RAW is WAR 14.8.0

Crash has a new career, by the way, involving coming out for matches and then not competing.
RAW is WAR 14.8.0

For some inexplicable reason, Ross keeps calling him "Crash Holly" even though we've been asked by the WWF Storyline Style Sheet to please forget he has a last name.
RAW is WAR 14.8.0

DOUBLE VULCAN NECK PINCH! That might be the COOLEST thing they've done ALL YEAR.
RAW is WAR 14.8.0

Michael King Cole stands with LINDA McMAHON from the Democratic National Convention. She announces that the WWF has registered over ten thousand voters in the past week. And at least a third of them are legitimate!! SMACK DOWN YOUR VOTE!
RAW is WAR 14.8.0

Hey, has Scherer ever rhetorically asked "Who sweats more - Shane McMahon or Whitney Houston?" That sounds like something I'd have to steal from him.
RAW is WAR 14.8.0

Angle with...well, ref's in the way, but he's back in charge, right, right, into the ropes, Rock holds on, side Russian legsweep for 2. Rock is "Mr. Moveset."
RAW is WAR 14.8.0

Angle over to take advantage of a distracted Rock (still basking in the glow of the awesome power of his almighty spit punch).
RAW is WAR 14.8.0

You know, Triple H is selling ENTIRELY TOO MUCH in this match - it's almost like he'll be turned face soon so we can forget all about how much his ass is getting kicked right now!
RAW is WAR 14.8.0

We look at LARRY KING, who mentions for the second time in a minute that Jerry Lawler isn't there - gee, I wonder if it's an angle. Maybe Ross will mention it again in a minute or so and beat me over the head with it.
RAW is WAR 21.8.0

How come Lawler didn't throw any fire? Don't tell me he's saving that for the PPV!
RAW is WAR 21.8.0

See, that goat is chasing after the guy wearing the SL's 'cause he wants to eat 'em
RAW is WAR 21.8.0

Lawler asks if they're planning on one of their patented run-ins tonight. "We are SO far above a run-in, tonight we're gonna introduce something special, it's called a 'swerve!' ...You know when you drive down the road about a hundred miles an hour, when it's really dark and you see a moose on the road and you swerve to miss it? It'll be NOTHING like that!" "You know how like, you can be totally like leading a person in one direction by the nose, and then you spin 'em around and bring 'em the other way? Well, you see here in a couple minutes, we're gonna - umm - actually we're gonna do - we're gonna do a run-in, forget the whole swerve thing! Haha!"
RAW is WAR 21.8.0

Say, you think these two will fight again on SmackDown! only to have the Dudleyz get the win back? NAAH.
RAW is WAR 21.8.0

Stratus asks again why they've got a match tonight - Val runs down their match on Sunday, focusin on experience...who's got it...and who hasn't. She falls into the latter category. That's why. Got it? Trish says "of course not - I'm a blonde!"
RAW is WAR 21.8.0

Shane, Stephanie, Triple H and Kurt Angle talk about whose match is most important tonight - go figure, they've all got different opinions. They break off into discussion groups...
RAW is WAR 21.8.0

Referee "Blind" Teddy Long is already telling him not to use that chair lest he feel the wrath of his mighty DQ - Kane says "we've got to sell this PPV *somehow*" and WHACKS him on the coconut anyway.
RAW is WAR 21.8.0

Next week, folks are playing tennis, so catch RAW at its regular time...well, unless you're on that OTHER coast
RAW is WAR 21.8.0

The Rock watches Angle on a monitor. Hey, if people are watching monitors tonight, does that mean Joe won't sucker 'em in tonight?
RAW is WAR 21.8.0

Sign in crowd: "AND BEER"
RAW is WAR 21.8.0

Ross: "THESE guys should be censored!" Lawler: "Now, wait a minute, let's not lower ourselves to their level." Ross: "You're right...I'm sorry." Idiot.
RAW is WAR 21.8.0

Chyna sells Stacker 2 - again. "The truth is - I like brains AND brawn." So...how does Stacker 2 make you smarter again?
RAW is WAR 21.8.0

Backstage, Trish Stratus is pouring herself a drink from the McDonald's orange drink party cooler. Shane approaches her. "Y'know, there's something I've always wanted to ask you..but I gotta do it in private...away from this here cameraman." They walk off arm-in-arm and I think Trish wanted me to look at her ass.
RAW is WAR 21.8.0

Shane covers and referee "Blind" Jim Korderas counts - 1, 2, 3. Ladies and gentlemen...we have a new Hardcore champion. And sometimes I hate being right.
RAW is WAR 21.8.0

Now THOSE DAMN DUDLEYZ are out with a table...geez, I gotta stop doing blow-by-blow until I've had a chance to fast forward to the end and check for run-ins.
RAW is WAR 21.8.0

Meanwhile, Triple H stands in wait at the back of the arena...apparently, he hasn't seen his wife since SummerSlam. Where is she? WHERE?!?
RAW is WAR 28.8.0

"You know, Kurt, you come out here every week, and you like to play the ignorant jackass. Hey - don't get me wrong, you do a great job. You're the best ignorant jackass we've got here."
RAW is WAR 28.8.0

Moments Ago, one paragraph ago - ohhh, I see, it's his ETHNIC LATIN TEMPER
RAW is WAR 28.8.0

"I'm sorry, I forgot - the real Hardy Boyz don't get to speak, so why should you."
RAW is WAR 28.8.0

Ya know, the only thing this segment was missing was a BLACKMAN'S ELBOW
RAW is WAR 28.8.0

Angle's music plays - and he's smirking once again...golly, this guy got all DIABOLICAL on us
RAW is WAR 28.8.0

Saturn immediately clamps on the Rings of Saturn and you know Kat is quick to give it up - actually, in retrospect, that was an unfortunate choice of words.
RAW is WAR 28.8.0

You know, that Kevin Kelly's gonna SNAP some day.
RAW is WAR 28.8.0

Ross can try to sell it as much as he wants - YOU know and *I* know Rock ain't layin' down for that silly-ass clothesline.
RAW is WAR 28.8.0

Rock collides with Hebner. OH BOY LET THE SCREWIN' BEGIN
RAW is WAR 28.8.0



"You people have been led to believe that mediocrity is excellence. Uh-uh.

JERICHO... IS... EXCELLENCE!"

(edited by JasonMF on 10.1.02 1404)
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