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The 7 - Pro Wrestling - RAW #690 8/14/06 Play by Play Report
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jwrestle
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#1 Posted on 14.8.06 2208.23
Reposted on: 14.8.13 2209.14
Awe! I'm LATE! I'm LATE LATE LATE.

9:08pm...well I finally relize it's time for MONDAY NIGHT RAW! Edge is in the ring telling the story of Edge and John Cena chapter by chapter. Apparently he went and slapped John Cena's father. Hey, we've also got Beat the Heat water fight between the remaining diva wannabe's and the actual Diva's. Carlito is taking on Edge in a non-title match. I wonder if that means Carlito's gonna win? Hey, Hulkster, brother I'm actually going to be on RAW to confront Randy Orton one more time brother! Hey, next is Mickie James vs Lita for the womens championship. I like it lets see if we get a new womens champion with help via Edge? Hmm...I see a Stephy type reign for Lita. It's next!

***AD BREAK***

We're Back: Hey, it's Mickie and she's went and got a perm. Hey, what a cheer for Mickie. The people really don't like Lita. Mickie is face at least for the night in a sense. Side headlock, whip to the rope, flying head sciccors by Lita. In the corner. Mickie down. Micky has sparkly undies on. Hair pull from the top rope. More blantant hair pulling. Lita showing the ring rust where she hasn't been wrestling. Mickie coming back...side russian leg sweep for the cut off. Arm streacher by Lita on Mickie. Oh, that's why she's face. She's in Virginia...they love Mickie. Lita looking for the snap DDT. Mickie counters. Lita trying to sneak away the title by using the ropes. Mickie with a roll up into a bridge. Two count...Edge distracts the ref. Lita grabs the womens belt. WHAM! Upside Mickie's head goes the belt and 1...2...3! Lita wins the WWE Women's championship! Who was surprised? Can we deem this the Edge/Lita Era yet?

***AD BREAK***

We're Back: Congradulations Lita. Hey, it's Mick and he's upset that he folded. Hardcore match. Blood will be spilled at Summerslam. He's going to ECW tomorrow to get ready. It's UMAGA! Who's losing tonight...an actual brought in local talent jobber. Nice...it feels a bit old school. I guess that's good because they're not giving away major stuff. Umaga kills or as JR said, "Nothing more than a warm up for Umaga". Yep...that was nice. Hey, DX are going to meet up with Vince and Shane again.

***AD BREAK***

We're Back: Nitro and Melina are out and the mandatory look down her shirt to make all us wet our pants. Then Nitro blocks the fine butt shot they used to get. What? WHOOOO! Is this title match? I didn't hear it. Well, here we go the bell sounds. Lock up...into the corner. Starts punching in the corner. Flair already busting out the knife edge chops. Crowd with mandatory WHOOS! Neckbreaker from Nitro. 1...2...kickout by Flair. Chinlock by Nitro on Flair. Chops, chops, back elbow takes Nitro down. Nitro bust out a corkscrew moonsault. He missed...wait...it's Mick Foley. Melina breaks up Flair beating on Foley with a low blow shot. Foley sucks chant by the crowd. What a beating. Hey, graphic and no talking. Up next Divas try to make you hot while getting wet or is cold? You decide.

***AD BREAK***
Sidenote: Man those Paul Heyman voice overs really make me miss the old school ECW. Hey, I figured it out. I went back and watched The Rise and Fall of ECW. This is ECW marketed to the "masses" as said by no other than Tommy Dreamer.

We're Back: Hey, Miz is doing the Diva search. Let see who's leaving. Melina/Melena gone. Good they would've had to change her name like they already did. To much confusion. Well we already know because Miz apparently doesn't know until now. Here comes Miss Hollywood glam herself Candice. Hey it's Victoria wait isn't she bad. Hmm...Vince's Vixens are back together at least for the night. Gets them the wettest? Who decides this? Fans or Miz? There all soaked...JR is wet...King is definatly wet. Hell the RING BECAME SLIP N' SLIDE with Candice Michelle. Well, that's over and it was pretty good. Wasn't totally crazy.

***AD BREAK***

We're Back: Dont' forget to watch the search finally this Wednesday night. Hey, I wonder if they changed the mat out on the ring. Apparently so as DX the team of HBK and HHH come out. They've been divided over the past two weeks and handed beating by UMAGA. Well, here we go. Are you READY? NO, I SAID ARE YOU READY? Lets get ready to SUCK IT! Yes, HHH we all suck it at some point in life. It could be figurtive or litteral. Vince loves cock. Here comes money...followed by Papa. Hey more police. King: Does he have a entire police force on his payroll? JR: He can afford it. GREAT! Thank you Shane for the VKM. Hey we get a video package of DX beatdowns. Thanks Shane. Vince saying money buy anything. Satan? Vince is satan? Umm...HHH nice unit joke. Well, DX vs Vince and Shane is set.

***AD BREAK***
Carlito/Edge non-title still to come.

We're Back: Hey, it's the World Tag Team champions the Spirt Squad. Hey Eugene and Hacksaw are on my screen. Great, JR finally mentions it's not a title match. Monday Night Raw odd couple? Hmm...it's interesting. Squad beating up Hacksaw as the Highlanders show up in the match. Hey a USA chant. It's still over. There's the tag. Eugene ROCKBOTTOM. Holy crap...lots of crazy action in the ring. Shot on Eugene. Scott Drop on a member of the Squad. 1...2...3! Eugene and Hacksaw win!

Last segment was the most out place one so far, IMO.
***AD BREAK***

We're Back: Hey, Jeff Hardy coming to Monday Night Raw. Armando says he'll help out with UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGAAAA!
Summerslam rundown. Pretty stacked. Will I buy it? It's one of the big four. I'll see it one way or another. Carlito bringing Trish to counter act Lita. She says: Kick Edge's ass. Carlito is also a good kisser or at least Trish says doesn't mind the smooch. I wonder if the real life boyfriend does. Wrestling has always has a bit of acting involved in it. I think I'd be uncomfortable...oh well.

***AD BREAK***

We're back: Carlito and Edge build up. Hey, Carlito is out with Trish Stratus and wow those jeans fit quite nice on Trish. You think you know me! Edge is out with Lita for the second time tonight. Hey, the footage I didn't get to see. So a camera crew just happens to be there and they isn't that breaking the law too? It's wrestling once again. Hey the phone rings, missing wrestling, and I turn back to see the big springboard body attack plancha! Wow...we get a run in ad break.

***AD BREAK***

We're Back: Hey Edge apparently been in the majority control. Two count on Carlito. Waist lock on Carlito on the mat. Trish hammers Lita. Carlito with a comeback. Two count. Old school Frankenstiener. Leap frog of the spear. Carlito speared...run in by JOHN CENA and he's going ape shit! Carlito wins by DQ! Cena trying to get his hand on Edge.

***AD BREAK***

We're back: Slam of the week. RKO on the hood of the car. Brooke wondering what happened. Hey, Edge in his THONG...barf...HEY! It's the gay pose. Randy Orton out to talk about Hulk Hogan and see if he's finally going to show up. Orton giving Hogan the role. Legend Killer take reel...here we go. Hmm...Orton saying he didn't "Get it?" when he was young. Orton killing Hulkamania? One RKO...REAL AMERICAN! It's HULK HOGAN! No...not it's Hulk Hogan the imposter. And he has it down. Even down to who cheers the loudest. Real American again...IT'S ACTUALLY THE HULKSTER! Egomania run wild! Three fists and the BOOT and Orton running scared again. OH! ON LIVE TV the FAKE HULKSTER BLOWS BOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now he's just beating the tar out of him. Just throws him out ring. Thank you...now get on the mic and make it short. Hulkamania speech. Whatcha Ya GONNA DO! When Hulkamania RUNS WILD ON YOU! We're set for Summerslam on the RAW side. At about seven minutes after 11pm.

Hey, it wasn't boring. Watchable in most aspects tonight. Tune in for ECW tomorrow.
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OMEGA
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#2 Posted on 14.8.06 2212.29
Reposted on: 14.8.13 2212.50
I was going to say that the ending segment was one of the worst and most bland go-home segments ever. Then Fake Hogan screwed-up RUNNING THE ROPES! That turned everything around. GREATEST SEGMENT EVER!

What the hell happened to Lita!? She looks totally beat up.

Nothing else really jumps out at me as far as this show goes. Other than I love Edge as heel and he should keep the WWE Title until the sun burns out.

(edited by OMEGA on 14.8.06 2341)
Kane Is Ugly
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#3 Posted on 14.8.06 2217.50
Reposted on: 14.8.13 2218.35
I cant remember a worse RAW. Mickie loses to Lita? FUCK THAT NOISE! 5 years ago, I didnt mind seeing Hogan back in WWE. Now, I can't stand him. I hope Randy wins, but I know Hogan wont let that happen.

The only redeeming segment tonight was Shane/Amando/Vince yelling UMAGA! Not even Foley's promo was good tonight.
jfkfc
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#4 Posted on 14.8.06 2218.39
Reposted on: 14.8.13 2220.43
I hadn't watched RAW in 3 weeks, and I wish I had made it four. I really wish I had. I actually like Umaga and Carlito. I'd like Edge more without Lita.

This show just totally ate it.
CHAPLOW
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#5 Posted on 14.8.06 2222.05
Reposted on: 14.8.13 2223.44
Hrm... Ive never shared anyones enthusiasm for Edge, idk why- thats not to say that he hasnt earned his run tho but hrm...

Impostor Hogan is less carry-able than the Great Khali.

For a second I thought Hogan was just gonna lose it and beat Impostor Hogan down with a barbed wire bat or something for messing up his rope-run big-boot combo, if I was him I woulda hit the impostor with the body slam from the beginning; you cant really trust someone with no ring experience to be able to convingsingly sell something like that, oh well... easy mistake.
geemoney
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#6 Posted on 14.8.06 2222.33
Reposted on: 14.8.13 2223.46
I liked the opening segment, despite going for cheap heat to make Cena a face....Lita/Mickie was not good thanks to Lita. Now I remember why she hasn't wrestled in a LONG time....I thought we were past the Umaga squashes with his last two wins....

Flair/Nitro was okay, just to set up the Foley beat-down I guess though....Miz trying to plug the contest while he was getting watered down was pretty funny. Since his week one screw up, he's been pretty tolerable in this role....

The McMahon/DX segment was alright. I hope they have someone worth plugging Vince's "Unlimited Resources" for....The tag match was not much, and I had just assumed the Highlanders disappeared....The final segment was not good (thanks to the Impostor), but I can't believe they brought him back after the terrible segment he was in a few weeks ago.
Texas Kelly
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#7 Posted on 14.8.06 2222.51
Reposted on: 14.8.13 2224.22
Good lord, this show sucked. I can't think of one positive thing to say about it.

- Edge blathered on about nothing
- Mickie James' character was utterly destroyed to advance that of someone who's LEAVING in a couple of months
- Umaga's back in meaningless jobber squashes after flirting with the main event
- No Kane or Shelton, meaning no IC title match, meaning those two (plus Carlito) get screwed out of a spot they deserved
- Fifteen minutes of meaningless Diva shit
- DX & the McMahons blather about nothing
- The Spirit Squad continues to get neutered
- Jeff Hardy's coming to RAW instead of SD (where he belongs, with Matt)
- Carlito continues to get nothing out of this feud with Edge
- Randy "Useless" Orton and Hulk "No Jobbing" Hogan clog up the main event slot that the last match should have gotten

What a load of crap.
Dahak
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#8 Posted on 14.8.06 2230.03
Reposted on: 14.8.13 2230.37
Look I don't like Cena. But for fucks sake the "Edge invades Cena's home and bitchsmacks his dad" is just stupid. Edge's gimmick is he is a cocky jerk. Let him be a dick.
Instead we get a ridiculous skit that show us Cena's huge house (way to be thuglife there Cena). Then they used that to explain why Cena isn't there it's because he is taking care of his dad (gee I guess he got over it). Then King tries to explain away the general stupidity of it by saying that if Cena had Edge arrested then Edge might miss his PPV match. Huh I guess Cena Sr. doesn't count because he isn't a wrestler.
Vince needs to quit hiding Cena away from the boos. If Cena isn't popular deal with it. But making Edge, HHH, or whoever look worse to hide Cena's unpopularity with the majority of the adult male fans just makes the whole WWE look worse.
CRZ
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#9 Posted on 14.8.06 2233.49
Reposted on: 14.8.13 2235.00
Can I offer you some constructive criticism?

    Originally posted by jwrestle
    Hey,
    Hey,
    Hey,
    Hey,
    Hey,
    Hey,
    Hey,
    Hey,
    Hey,
    Hey,
    Hey
    Hey,
    Hey
    Hey
    Hey,
    Hey
    Hey
    Hey,
    Hey,
    Hey,
    Hey
    Hey
    Hey,
    Hey


No, I can not.

(Who had "24" in the pool this week?)
tlmkr38
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#10 Posted on 14.8.06 2236.06
Reposted on: 14.8.13 2236.57
Hahaha one redeeming good thing about this show, Lillian was on... Aw heck I guess I am just an old Kayfabe wrestlingfan. There has been too much talking and not enough wrestling for so long I don't even expect it anymore. Real wrestling, with holds and counter holds ,stuff like that....

I did hate that Mickey lost the belt, Lita is/was a good wrestler but rusty as heck. Mickey is intense and i like that style. As for all the promos and mouthing, it's just getting old.More of that than wrestling so i sit and listen while reading a book usually.
Mr Shh
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#11 Posted on 14.8.06 2236.14
Reposted on: 14.8.13 2238.54
Somehow, Jerry Lawler proclaiming indignation over someone assaulting his enemy's father just doesn't ring sincere with me.
BOSsportsfan34
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#12 Posted on 14.8.06 2237.47
Reposted on: 14.8.13 2239.00
- Edge blathered on about nothing

Agree

- Mickie James' character was utterly destroyed to advance that of someone who's LEAVING in a couple of months

Depends on if Mickie gets the title back soon.

- Umaga's back in meaningless jobber squashes after flirting with the main event

Agree

- No Kane or Shelton, meaning no IC title match, meaning those two (plus Carlito) get screwed out of a spot they deserved

Agree

- Fifteen minutes of meaningless Diva shit

If JT wins, then it's all good.

- DX & the McMahons blather about nothing

Agree

- The Spirit Squad continues to get neutered

It's needed. Spirit Squad has run its course. Kenny needs a singles push. Split the others between ECW and SmackDown.

- Jeff Hardy's coming to RAW instead of SD (where he belongs, with Matt)

Actually, he belongs in ECW, IMO.

- Carlito continues to get nothing out of this feud with Edge

Agree

- Randy "Useless" Orton and Hulk "No Jobbing" Hogan clog up the main event slot that the last match should have gotten

I think Hogan jobs at SS. And what happened to all the love Orton received from the smarky types during the "RNN" updates? Granted, he's hardly improved his workrate since then, but why some would rather see Hogan go over him is beyond me.




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Matt Tracker
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#13 Posted on 14.8.06 2239.52
Reposted on: 14.8.13 2240.51
Cena's dad took the Rick James slap like a pro and sold it like he had been tasered. This was no worse than Edge's imitation of the Ric Flair road rage incident, but I'm biased toward Edge because he's the best weekly performer on RAW. I don't see any reason for him to drop the belt at the PPV as they can easily carry over the Carlito feud while Umaga fights Cena for a top-contender's match.

I had trouble watching the show seeing as how Tony K. made his Monday Night Football debut tonight, but what I did see didn't convince me to buy the PPV. If Kane was there to sell his PPV match against Nitro, I missed it.
Texas Kelly
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#14 Posted on 14.8.06 2251.39
Reposted on: 14.8.13 2252.37
Depends on if Mickie gets the title back soon.

Doubt it. The rumors had Trish leaving after jobbing to Lita at Unforgiven, and now that Lita has the title they'll surely keep it on her until then at least.

If JT wins, then it's all good.

You honestly care which one of them wins? The only one who genuinely cared about the business at all got voted out weeks ago.

I think Hogan jobs at SS. And what happened to all the love Orton received from the smarky types during the "RNN" updates? Granted, he's hardly improved his workrate since then, but why some would rather see Hogan go over him is beyond me.

BAHAHAHAHAHA

I'll believe it when I see it, brother. *barfs*

Besides, I'm totally apathetic about the match anyway. Hogan has no place out there anymore, and Orton hasn't meant shit since Triple H killed his character dead about two years ago. Maybe Orton would have value now if Undertaker had given up the streak for him, but as is, he's useless.

Unless Smackdown comes up with something magical, I'm saving my money this year.
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#15 Posted on 14.8.06 2256.45
Reposted on: 14.8.13 2257.03
    Originally posted by Matt Tracker
    Cena's dad took the Rick James slap like a pro and sold it like he had been tasered. This was no worse than Edge's imitation of the Ric Flair road rage incident, but I'm biased toward Edge because he's the best weekly performer on RAW. I don't see any reason for him to drop the belt at the PPV as they can easily carry over the Carlito feud while Umaga fights Cena for a top-contender's match.

    I had trouble watching the show seeing as how Tony K. made his Monday Night Football debut tonight, but what I did see didn't convince me to buy the PPV. If Kane was there to sell his PPV match against Nitro, I missed it.


Cana's dad does announcing work for some independent wrestling promotions in New England, so he has experience in the business.

He is also the chief property assessor in the town I live in. Today's local paper had a story about them going to every single home and business in my town over a 3 year period to get a supposedly "accurate" assessment of a property's worth.

If my propery tax goes up, then I "pull an Edge" and go to his home and bitchslap him. ;)
spf
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#16 Posted on 14.8.06 2325.32
Reposted on: 14.8.13 2326.20
Please please someone tell me that this guy (The W) was involved in the fake Hogan business.
Big Bad
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#17 Posted on 14.8.06 2330.41
Reposted on: 14.8.13 2334.33
    Originally posted by Texas Kelly
    I'm totally apathetic about the match anyway. Hogan has no place out there anymore, and Orton hasn't meant shit since Triple H killed his character dead about two years ago. Maybe Orton would have value now if Undertaker had given up the streak for him, but as is, he's useless.

    Unless Smackdown comes up with something magical, I'm saving my money this year.


I think WWE figured out Orton had no value a long time ago, which is why since the HHH feud, he's been a jobber to the stars. Jobbing HBK to Hogan last year was an eyebrow-raiser, but Orton can lose to the Hulkster until the cows come home.
Packman V2
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#18 Posted on 14.8.06 2346.10
Reposted on: 14.8.13 2346.29
Usually I post my thoughts in order of how the show went...but wow...just fucking wow.

The Hogan appearance was about the worst appearance I have ever seen. From the botched boot, to him pointing to Fake Hogan and clearly hearing him tell the other guy to back up when he was pointing at him. I think you can hear him tell the guy to back up 4 times clearly, with a couple of more times where it seems thats what he's sayin. Fake Hulk didnt do much to help things, but going for a couple of elbow drops instead of the legdrop? Hogan looked incredibly old and broken down.

Very Fast Forwardable episode tonight. Mickie losing the title to Lita makes no sense at all. Umaga squash. Hacksaw & Eugene, eh.

Flair and Nitro was good for while it lasted. Too much Diva crap. Speaking of Nitro, no appearance by the contender to his IC title Kane? Wasted opportunity.

No Shelton Benjamin either, but we can sit through another long Vince & Shane promo. Sure ok.

Jeff Hardy next week? I think he'd be better suited for SD as well, possibly a contender for the Cruiserweight title, but will be watching next week to see how he does, part of me largely curious if he's gotten over his ridiculous fascination with the glow in the dark paint.

jwrestle
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#19 Posted on 14.8.06 2348.23
Reposted on: 14.8.13 2349.49
    Originally posted by CRZ
    Can I offer you some constructive criticism?

      Originally posted by jwrestle
      Hey, x24


    No, I can not.

    (Who had "24" in the pool this week?)


NOTED! If I make it to Vegas with it then I'm happy.

(edited by jwrestle on 15.8.06 0049)
sentonBOMB
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#20 Posted on 15.8.06 0001.26
Reposted on: 15.8.13 0002.17
I can't believe no one mentioned the sign of the week: "Bring back Luther Reigns."
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