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23.11.07 1022
The 7 - Movies & TV - Tom Cruise is fucking nuts! (Part #647236472342?)
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Cerebus
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#1 Posted on 18.4.06 1805.01
Reposted on: 18.4.13 1805.21
What... The... FUCK! (thesun.co.uk)

For those of you who don't want to click and read it... and I have NO CLUE why you'd NOT want to... Tom Cruise is saying that he plans to EAT HIS NEW BORN CHILDS PLACENTA and THE CORD.

I don't think he's kidding here either, as it almost sounds.

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 3 will be number #1 on my list of films to skip this year, just like Return Of The Shit was #1 last year... and I STILL haven't seen that garbage either!

EDIT: It's a Girl!

Katie Holmes dropped the kid today!

I say 'it's' because we REALLY don't know for sure if Tom Cruise is human, so it could be some poor cross-breed of alien or something, but theyve named 'her' Suri.

Any of you Scientology conspiracy nuts wanna tell us what this name means? I'm sure it has SOME odd meaning or other, to allow the child to be made fun of by all the other kids.

-----

Good god, there's more!

Tom Cruise is now commiting computer fraud! (nypost.com)

It seems there was an online poll where people were being asked if that thought Tom was nuts or if the media was behind it all. They've found out that out of 18,000 votes, 14,000 votes all came from 10 separate computers.

DAMN! I wish you could go to jail for that shit! You know he was behind it. I'd love for his alien/human hybrid child to have to go visit it's daddy in a minimum security, non-ass raping prison.

I really HATE Tom Cruise... could you tell?

(edited by Cerebus on 18.4.06 2052)
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Teppan-Yaki
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#2 Posted on 18.4.06 1902.35
Reposted on: 18.4.13 1904.34
Believe me, I think Tom's loopy, but until you find me another source that backs this up I'm going to take this story with the same grain of salt that I would reading a story from lordsofpain.net.

Granted, LOP probably doesn't have a button banner with a pic of headphones around a woman's pair of breasts like The Sun UK... and that's OODLES of credibility there.
KJames199
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#3 Posted on 18.4.06 1926.04
Reposted on: 18.4.13 1927.11
Recipes!

http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_104.html

"The father was a professional cook who concocted his own tasty recipe for placenta stew, complete with potatoes and onions [...] placenta cocktail (1/4 raw placenta, 8 ounces of V-8 juice, 2 ice cubes, 1/2 carrot, blend for 10 seconds at high speed)"
Cerebus
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#4 Posted on 18.4.06 1933.52
Reposted on: 18.4.13 1935.11
    Originally posted by Teppan-Yaki
    Believe me, I think Tom's loopy, but until you find me another source that backs this up I'm going to take this story with the same grain of salt that I would reading a story from lordsofpain.net.


What? You doubt The Sun? ...that's like saying you doubt Weekly World News!

Hahaha!

Anyway, The BBC (news.bbc.co.uk) has a story about it and Tom originally mentions it in an interview with GQ.

I don't read GQ, I just look at the porn mags that are usually right next to or above GQ. Sorry.

(edited by Cerebus on 18.4.06 2134)
Mr Heel II
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#5 Posted on 18.4.06 1934.34
Reposted on: 18.4.13 1935.12
    Originally posted by Cerebus
    Any of you Scientology conspiracy nuts wanna tell us what this name means? I'm sure it has SOME odd meaning or other, to allow the child to be made fun of by all the other kids.
According to the prepared statement issued by Cruise's spokesman (announcing the birth), Suri has its origins in Hebrew, meaning "princess," or in Persian, meaning "red rose".
Guru Zim
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#6 Posted on 18.4.06 2001.42
Reposted on: 18.4.13 2002.11
I believe it may also mean "Guy I used to call for Cisco questions".

This isn't a racist comment, I actually had a guy at my last job with that name and I always thought it was a guys name. He was super smart, too.
TwisterF5
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#7 Posted on 19.4.06 0314.56
Reposted on: 19.4.13 0315.39
    Originally posted by Teppan-Yaki
    Believe me, I think Tom's loopy.


Calling Tom Cruise "loopy" is like calling Godzilla "moody"
dunkndollaz
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#8 Posted on 19.4.06 0650.45
Reposted on: 19.4.13 0650.45
and Brooke Shields has also given birth to a daughter, Grier (msnbc.msn.com), on the same day as the arrival of the Tomkitten.
rinberg
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#9 Posted on 19.4.06 0809.22
Reposted on: 19.4.13 0811.07
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,11069-2141487,00.html
    Originally posted by timesonline.co.uk
    He then caused another stir when he told the US edition of GQ magazine that he intended to eat the baby's placenta. This turned out to have been a joke, although at least one publication took him seriously.


...But he's still a major league flaque.
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#10 Posted on 19.4.06 0812.23
Reposted on: 19.4.13 0814.09
    Originally posted by dunkndollaz
    and Brooke Shields has also given birth to a daughter, Grier (msnbc.msn.com), on the same day as the arrival of the Tomkitten.


All I know for certain is that in twenty-five years, these two will do battle for the fate of all humanity.
StingArmy
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#11 Posted on 19.4.06 1600.49
Reposted on: 19.4.13 1600.56
Hmm, this is kinda spooking me out because I had a long conversation last night with my girlfriend about eating placenta. She told me that this is a (at least somewhat) common practice, particularly when a mid-wife is involved in the childbirth. In addition to the supposed nutritional value of the placenta, it's also alleged to be a good way to deter post-natal depression in the mother. Having said that, I don't see how ANY of that would justify the father eating the placenta, but I supppose this was all revealed to be a joke as it relates to Cruise.

A lot of animal mothers eat placentae, but I think this is mostly to get rid of the evidence of birth so that predators won't know there's a new little one running around. All in all, though, the idea of eating placenta is super weird and grosses me out.

- StingArmy
Mr. Boffo
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#12 Posted on 19.4.06 1823.17
Reposted on: 19.4.13 1823.39
I saw a thing on one of those HBO specials of a mother (I want to say she was British) cooking her placenta and then eating it. I don't remember any other details, but it does happen.
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#13 Posted on 19.4.06 1912.42
Reposted on: 19.4.13 1913.05
    Originally posted by Mr. Boffo
    I saw a thing on one of those HBO specials of a mother (I want to say she was British) cooking her placenta and then eating it. I don't remember any other details, but it does happen.


Yeah, I saw it too.

That was the worst installment of "Real Sex" ever.
Oliver
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#14 Posted on 19.4.06 2122.13
Reposted on: 19.4.13 2122.15
    Originally posted by rinberg
    http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,11069-2141487,00.html
      Originally posted by timesonline.co.uk
      He then caused another stir when he told the US edition of GQ magazine that he intended to eat the baby's placenta. This turned out to have been a joke, although at least one publication took him seriously.


    ...But he's still a major league flaque.
Who the hell makes jokes like that? That ain't funny. I nearly lost my lunch when I read the Dahmer-esue placenta eating idea. It's just wrong.
Teppan-Yaki
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#15 Posted on 19.4.06 2144.34
Reposted on: 19.4.13 2145.19
On Countdown tonight, they were talking about 'Suri' sounding like "Surrey," which happens to be L. Ron Hubbard's place of residence and Scientology UK's HQ city.

Give them credit, though -- 'Suri' is a HELL of a lot better than 'Apple.'
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