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The 7 - Pro Wrestling - TNA IMPACT Workrate Report Episode #17
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#1 Posted on 24.1.06 0521.32
Reposted on: 24.1.13 0521.49

Somehow or other, TNA got a hold of “Technologia Televisa Deportes”for the Samoa Joe highlight package. I LOVE ME SOME “TECHNOLOGIA TELEVISA DEPORTES”.

Don West’s call “Sometimes I think Dave Hebner is just out here looking at the ceiling”

Wow this was a bad show dominated by awful backstage stuff. The first three matches were mediocre but unobjectionable and so stay on top half. I liked Skipper’s high knee. And really that was only memorable thing about first three matches. I mean Sabin’s 98% hair was memorable. And I guess A-1 being that ridiculously tanned for a guy working an evil Canadian gimmick was memorable. And the absolute ridiculousness of Ron Killings being stuck in that six man was memorable. But in terms of ring work, Kenny King didn’t take any crazy bumps, Hoyt had better kick to the mid section than the last time I saw him …but yeah nothing memorable. Really nothing. Lance Hoyt, Shark Boy, Killings v. Team Canada and Diamonds in the Rough vs. Sabin/Dutt were both a lot better than last weeks unwatchable Team Canada v. Sabin, Dutt, Bentley. Nothing great but nothing objectionable.

There's gonna be a STREETFIGHT!! on Impact??? Man I like me a STREETFIGHT. Impact is normally quite the syndi show with squashes and a couple competitive matches but really has yet to deliver a PPV match for free. And they promise me a STREETFIGHT. Meltzer once ridiculously overrated a TNA Kid Kash v. AJ Styles STREETFIGHT. It was really good when they actually took it to the STREETZ but whenever they went back into the ring they just did meaningless poorly executed quick exchanges. But I’ve liked both Shannon Moore and AJ Styles in STREET FIGHTS in the past. I don't understand why the two of them are in a STREETFIGHT. What did the Prince of Punk do to merit a STREET FIGHT? Did the Prince of Punk get on the mic and announce “Ï am an anarchist. I’m an antichrist”? I could see that pissing Styles off and Styles demanding a STREETFIGHT. Did Moore wear a Dead Kennedy’s "In god we Trust" shirt? Something more than stealing a plaque to heat up a STREETFIGHT...I don't get why this was a STREETFIGHT. A STREETFIGHT is a really great match stip. Great feud blow off stip. This wasn’t a feud blow off so much as side show for the AJ-Daniels feud. This was ok. AJ had some nice punches on the floor. Moore mostly bumped through the thing and didn’t get in a ton of offense. The knee injury from nowhere seemed like a weird tribute to Teddy Hart. The shitty commercial break pacing really doesn’t work in a STREETFIGHT. And the match was filled with too many “interested observers”. I don’t get using a STREETFIGHT as way to advance angle between AJ and a guy not in the STREETFIGHT. But enjoyed fired up AJ punching and Moore’s bumps. Actual body of match was better than body of AJ’s STREETFIGHT with Kid Kash. But still that finish had no place in a STREETFIGHT. A STREETFIGHT is a really great match stip. Great feud blow off stip.STREETFIGHT shouldn't be a sideshow for another more important feud. This isn't how you use a STREETFIGHT. Really felt like the bookers buried one of my favorite match stips. The booking belongs on the bottom but so much bad bookin this week, no need to rub it in.


Wow the whole first thirty five minutes of program is built around them promising to bring out Sting and then they say “ Whoops he’s not coming this week…tune in next week”. That’s some sub-WCW shitty booking. I mean there is promising and not delivering and there is promising and not delivering. You build whole show around a promise you don’t deliver?? Christian then comes out and does a Roddy Piper level hack joke, Jarrett comes out and I thought he was about to tell a really really filthy joke. But then changes the punchline so it doesn’t even make sense. Three things can promise “If I owe you money, it’s in the mail. If not there it’s on the way, and Sting will be there next week”…”Sting will be there next week”?? How do you replace “I won’t come in your mouth”with “Sting will be there next week”? There is bowdlerizing jokes and there is bowdlerizing jokes…Guy goes into a talent agency and says “Do I have an act for you, see in this act Sting doesn’t show up.” Its not funny…But still punchline is don’t trust this promotion to deliver Sting to you next week either. You promise something and don’t deliver it, then harp on how you failed to deliver?? I was amused by following up the 35 minutes of teasing Sting and not delivering with teasing Chris Jericho…Hey we might get Chris Jericho or be stuck with just Christian. HA! HA! Got you again.

You know the thing about WWE video packages is that sometimes they can take awful stupid nonsensical angles and clip them up into video packages and actually edit the angle into clips in a way that makes the thing watchable and interesting. They take one awful scene after another and clip them together with music and you get interesting. That Jackie Gayda video package wasn’t that. Stuff with Jackie Gayda has just been one awful scene after another. The Jackie Gayda video package was just awful scenes to rock music.

Yowza was that a lot of Shane Douglas this week. I thought the acting in those investigative reporter Missy Hyatt wants to get into locker room skits was bad. But damn Shane Douglas acting makes Missy look like Dame Judi Dench. I’m not sure how good or bad the AJ Styles, Daniels mic work was…I thought AJ might be working insincere subtle heel (which would be cool since AJ makes a great heel) but who the fuck knows as Douglas was mugging all the way through that and I couldn't focus. I mean if Douglas is supposed to be some sort of Steven Colbert/Gary Gnu type of overbearing reporter than he shouldn’t be doing interviews for non comedy stuff. Missy scenes only involved her trying to get a peak at Zenk’s junk, not interviewing people in blood feuds. At one point in the show I swear Shane said "Something smells rotten to the Franchise". Oh yeah speaking of comedy, when exactly did Larry Zbysco become Mr. Roper?

Are they setting up three three way dances for PPV as feels like they’re setting up Joe, Daniels, Styles to have three way rematch, Dudleys, AMW, Team Canada for a three way and Jarrett, Christian, Brown as three (and possibly four) way. The Dudleys can’t decide whether they want to wrestle the tag champs or some guys who interfered?? What in hell were those jeans D-Von was wearing? The TNA roster went to the local Orlando mall and there was a giant sale at Structure? It’s like the entire roster went there and cleaned them out. D-Von bought the low riser jeans and Christian bought the shirt. Sabin and Shelley went next door to the Haircuttery to get highlights? Shit, thankfully D-Von is bald cause I half expected him to have frosted hair. I guess Brother Ray might still be able to pull it off.

OK a week ago I was still saying that the dissolution of 3/4LK was salvageable. I mean it was being done all out of order and wrestling is serial storytelling. . Its not Pulp Fiction you can’t just do the angle all backward and out of order and assume that the audience will be able to piece it back together in the right order. Because goal is not to get audience to piece narrative back together. Your goal is to get audience to buy next chapter in the narrative. I thought they still had potential to fix it… But Holy shit it’s like they’re deliberately trying to fuck this up. James Bros get on mic do their comedy mic work calling for a title shot. Not calling for LAX’s heads but calling for title shot. Dudleys aren’t sure wether they’re so mad at Team Canada that they want to go after them more than go after another title shot…meanwhile LAX assaulted BG’s dad and BG and his “bro”can’t be bothered. Konnan and Homicide get on the screen and call them out challenging for a match. I’m amazed at their ability to fuck this angle up. The heels call out the faces !!! After the heels beat up the face’s father…it’s the heels who challenge the faces? “Hey man we beat up your dad, and while you’re busy doing comedy mic work, we’re calling you out too”. Part of me wants to blame this on booking committee made up of tape traders and backyarders. Part realizes that this is probably angle being written by Konnan so heel calls out face is Konnan doing a Helmsley. Whoever is to blame. They’re fucking idiots.
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#2 Posted on 24.1.06 1520.22
Reposted on: 24.1.13 1520.23
I take it you enjoy STREET FIGHTS!

Poor Shane Douglas, I guess his gnews was all bad gnews this week. (THE GREAT SPACE COASTER was a must watch show for me back in my Jr High School days. The local UHF station had the line up of Tranzor Z, He-Man, My Little Pony, GI Joe, and The Great Space Coaster on between 5am and 8am and I'd rush out after the show to get to the school buss on time... usually too late actually, and I'd end up walking, but it was worth it. Good times...

    Originally posted by tomk
    Don West’s call “Sometimes I think Dave Hebner is just out here looking at the ceiling”

This gives me more thought that Don West has no clue what a 'booking meeting' is. Listening to Don during the shows is almost exactly what you'd get if you allowed the most naive mark you can find, to sit in the announcers chairs. I think this is why I like him so much, even when he's that horrible.
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#3 Posted on 25.1.06 2318.37
Reposted on: 25.1.13 2321.29
Yeah, this show was pretty poor but I liked all the Daniels/Styles stuff atleast. Daniels is usually good, but Styles has been more decent on the mic lately.

I don't really see 3D or Christian's matches being a 3 way. I think that the Dudleys clear up who they will be wrestling (sort of) on the next show (see the spoiler thread). I guess it COULD still be a three way, but I think they wrestle Team Canada just to put off the final Dudleys/AMW match for another ppv.

As for Christian, I don't know where they are going with Sting, but I think the Title match will definitely be either Christian vs Jarrett or Sting vs. Jarrett. I'd say Monty would either wrestle the one not in the title match or maybe wrestle Abyss or Rhino for another one of thier "top contenders that never really get a title shot match"
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#4 Posted on 26.1.06 0033.37
Reposted on: 26.1.13 0034.43
TNA really doesn't need to be building its shows around "Oh my God, where is Sting? We need Sting!" That's a surefire channel changer for me since that angle was done better about nine years ago.

TNA and Smackdown were really going back to back with some good shows the past few weeks. Smackdown has continued to deliver pretty good stuff, but I'm worried about the direction TNA is going in. Sure, they'll always have fun matches, but creatively the Sting angle is unappealing, the 3LK thing has fizzled a little but (but I don't hate it as much as Tom seems to), and the way they're setting up Joe-Daniels-Styles seems ass backwards.
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#5 Posted on 26.1.06 1403.17
Reposted on: 26.1.13 1403.56
Sting looked terrible in the footage they showed on this show. He looked really old and out of shape. Christian being Sting's fanboy is making me less a fan of Christian than a fan of Sting.

The backstage stuff with Daniels and Style didn't work for me. It explained things but it didn't excite me that much. It seemed to lack a certain panache.

Why was Killings in that match?
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