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#3 Posted on 13.1.06 0133.14 Reposted on: 13.1.13 0133.14
Hey so someone on the DVDVR wrote in response to my criticisms of the TNA product that "at least its better than what the WWE is giving us". And well RAW is one of the worst shows on TV but Smackdown pretty much regularly smokes Impact and so to make the point I did a one time only almost week late from memory Smackdown workrate report. Me and Dean differ on some stuff as I didn't hate the finish to main as much as Dean did, I think Kennedy is not as awfull on color as he is in the ring, and I forgot OJs hair as I was so caught up in memories of greatness of Booker's suit:
JUVI v. Kid Kash--Juventud Guerrera is an absolute and complete fuck up and Juventud Guerrera is one of the best wrestlers in the world...sometimes I wonder whether the two are linked...whether if he went into rehab it would all fall apart. Kash works a body part like he does in all his matches and well Juvi sells the fuck out of the body part like no one else. You get the impression that Juvi watched Rey in the main event from last week and went "Bah that selling is cool but I can outdo that". As the coolest spot from last weeks Rey/Batista main event was when Rey sold the leg climbing to hurricarana Nitro to the floor...sold the leg after landing the hurricarana and did what I have never fucking seen before which was actually sell the leg during the hurricarana...it was amazing. And you got the impression that Juve was trying to outdo that with his selling during the missed dive. I assume that this will be the last Juventud match on US TV ever. And who knows its Juvi he might show up dead tomorow...this might be the last match of his I ever see. But a really good match where he reminded you that whatever else may be wrong with him he can still wrestle like a mofo.
Benoit v. Orton II was good match. Booker T is fucking GOLD on the stick calling this match. Booker is guy who was always willing to work kind of stiff in the ring and giving in the ring willing to be lead. But I never thought of him as guy particularly strong in sports entertainment stuff. Russo wanted him to be fake Rock which he couldn't do. I guess he played the role of brooding dark skinned guy well when WWE first brought him in to work brooding dark skin guy vs. lovable light skinned guy angle... During the Book/Dust days you were struck by how great Golddust was in all the shitty sports entertainment sections and Booker kind of stuck to straight man role and reaction shots. Really nothing impressive. But JUMPING JUGS OF JUNNIPERS...they brought in Sharmell and Booker has just lit up with her by his side. His calling of this match was really great as he got over the story the momentum (ďOrton's about to go to the pay window") and got over his own story with Benoit. Booker's matches lately have also been really strong as he's a better New Japan style heavyweight than any actual heavyweight currently working in New Japan. Unfortunately he's injured and Benoit has to finish this series against Orton. Last week the Orton match really felt like the really amazing 93 Benoit v. Bagwell match where Benoit wrestled essentially by himself just wrestling around Bagwell. I mean it was all smoke and mirrors and Orton did about as much as Bagwell. This week Orton does some more and actually contributes to match some...but still Orton doesn't bring alot to the table. Other reason itís a shame Booker is injured is because Benoit isn't allowed to get a clean win over Orton which really hurts the series (with Benoit getting no wins).
Mark Henry "how would you like it if I did it to you"
Did I just mention Mark Henry on the mic. Holy fuck they need to fire all the white guys on Smackdown and turn it into an all minority show. They're on UPN. Why not? The Krystal, Sharmell, Booker, OJ segment may have been the best sports entertainment segment in last year that didn't involve 3LK/4LK or Rey v Eddie. I mean Booker's peach shirt, blue tie, brown suit combo was enough to put this segment on top but still...Does Krystal interview anyone else outside of Booker? Krystal comes in always flirting with Booker "Is it hard to be on the road and have your wife with you?"..Sharmell signifies...Booker beams and looks at his wife"Nah its like going to Heaven every day"...Sharmell beams...OJ comes in and Booker tells him "get that bass out of your voice". In one segment Booker shows all his sides...Always eager to be interviewed by Krystal to show off in front of the obviously smitten young light skinned girl...family man who loves his beauty queen wife..and wrestling veteran who demands to be respected. Smoothly in one segment moved from one emotion to the other. Really they need to bring back Jazz and Mack. The Houston wrestler and his beauty queen wife with her expectations of achievement for her husband vs. the New Orleans bama couple would make for must see TV.
I guess Gymini vs. BlackHearts 2K6 was an impressive squash but stupid as Gymini stink and Blackhearts actually can wrestle.
The MNM vs. Batista/Rey matches have been consistently great. The problem with these MNM vs. Batista/Rey matches is the same problem I had with Kikuchi/Kobashi v. Can Ams tag matches. Kobashi is pushed and has so much offense that essentially you believe that he could beat his opponents in a handicap match...Batista has squashed tag teams in handicap matches before. One would think the way to work around this problem would be working a cage match with escape the cage rules where both partners need to escape the cage (the way they do in lucha)...one would think that not doing escape the cage rules would mean that you can't work the extended heat on Rey sections as everyone is in at the same time. But who am I to doubt the Smackdown road agents? As they have MNM keep Batista out of the way through constant double teams as MNM move back and forth between double teaming Batista and fighting against Rey. They clip the problems with door and Henry looked fucking impressive taking out Batista. Really great match.
WHAT DIDN'T WORK:
-There is no rape in the WWE. Thatís their promise and they stand by it. So instead it's sexual harassment. If they called it rape this angle might actually work as Melina does a good job selling girl who let herself get taken advantage of by drunken guy at party and now can't stand to see him in class every morning. But calling it sexual harassment makes no sense and the angle comes off as stupid. Stupid stupid stupid.
-Matt Hardy vs. JBL was kind of there. I do like Matt Hardy kind of mailing it in at this point as big bump in this match wasn't a big bump. Fuck if you're going to be buried no need to kill yourself in the process. So thumbs up for small bump but still this was nothing. I am amused by Boogeyman sexually assaulting Jillian Hall. Two face rapes heels valet angles on the same show!!! Did Joe Ezterhas join the writing team? Someone in creative has some issues.
-Kennedy stinks on color. Not as much as he stinks in the ring but he stinks on color.
-Simon Lashley has the face and voice of a small child. Unmasked Rey didn't look that childlike. Maybe they should keep him face get him the horns and contacts and get Tygress to do all the wrestling for him. Alternatively, they turn him heel and get an evil manager (taking advantage of the childlike monster) to do the talking for him. Either way they shouldn't give him mic segments.
-I guess Gymini vs. BlackHearts 2K6 was an impressive squash but stupid as Gymini stink and Blackhearts actually can wrestle.
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