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The 7 - One Question... - How did you come to terms with your mortality? Register and log in to post!
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KingKyle
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#1 Posted on 13.12.05 2145.51
Reposted on: 13.12.12 2154.03
Well. Long story short - last semester at college, one of my friends commits suicide, I get kidney stones, living on my own for the first time.

All in all, a very busy last semester. I got chided for not calling my friends for help when I had the kidney emergency, as I drove myself all the way to the hospital in the biggest pain of my life.

It was my first real medical emergency - I guess I thought I was invincible to problems like this. That all my eating habits and stuff wouldn't come back to haunt me.

So as I approach graduation day, a little depression starts to hit. I have a job lined up, living alone (fiancee can't join me for another year). My parents moved to another state and really can't help me move. So for the first time it feels like I'm really alone. And my thoughts stray to what could happen if something goes wrong and I can't reach the phone in time. No one noticed my friend was gone till it was too late.

So, the question is. How did you come to terms with your mortality?
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StaggerLee
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#2 Posted on 13.12.05 2205.12
Reposted on: 13.12.12 2205.29
Well, personally, I have seen probably three dozen people die in my line of work, and the thing that gets me, is most of them are ready. Personally, I feel I am going someplace better, so I am not afraid. I just want my children to know I love them more than life itself. Other than that, whenever it's my time, its my time, and I am okay with that.
dwaters
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#3 Posted on 13.12.05 2245.08
Reposted on: 13.12.12 2245.11
I'm not sure if I have or if I ever truly will.
I have a hard time even talking to the insurance agent about life insurance ( I did it, but didn't like it).

I envy those who can accept their mortality so easily.

I don't want my kids to lose their dad, my wife to lose her husband, parents to lose their son, etc. etc.

Deep question. Hope all is better with your kidneys....
Tenken347
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#4 Posted on 13.12.05 2254.05
Reposted on: 13.12.12 2255.41
It's just something I came to grips with when I was a kid. Everybody's gotta go sometime, and that's just the way it is. No use worrying about the stuff you can't change. I realize that's not particularly comforting. My condolences about the kidney stones. I had that happen to me once too, and it was NO fun. It's a great story actually, I'll have to share it here sometime.
AWArulz
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#5 Posted on 13.12.05 2316.31
Reposted on: 13.12.12 2316.42
As probably one of the older W's (I know Dr Dirt is a year or two older than me), I don't know that I have either. I am responsible, so I have my share of insurance,

Intellectually, I know I am ging to die, more than likely in the next 20-25 years, but really don't think or acknolwledge it much. I have made financial preperations for it, spiritual preperations for it, but, like a lot of people, haven't acknowledged to myself that it's really going to happen.
Nag
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#6 Posted on 14.12.05 0342.05
Reposted on: 14.12.12 0343.11
Death used to scare the hell out of me. It doesn't bother me much anymore. I guess you can say I had two "brushes" with the reaper. One involved sobriety.

In 98 me and my friend were held up at gunpoint walking down our street. Gunman takes his 9mm, sticks it right in my eye, talks some trash, then runs off. The thing that strikes me to this day is, at any point before that, I would have thought in that same situation, I would have begged for my life, shit my pants, whatever cliche you can name, none of that. For that 15 seconds (seemed like a year) I had this indescribable feeling, this rush of positive emotion, I don't know if you could call it euphoric but it was certainly surreal, as I was totally at peace with myself to an extent which I never thought was attainable.

Ever since then, I can honestly say, I don't fear death. Not married, no kids, not much in way family or friends, guess if I had that it would be differant.

ekedolphin
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#7 Posted on 14.12.05 0427.01
Reposted on: 14.12.12 0429.01
Probably when I was seven or eight years old, and came damn close to drowning in the pool in my apartment complex back in Indy. I had a near-death experience from it, as a matter of fact.
rinberg
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#8 Posted on 14.12.05 0802.06
Reposted on: 14.12.12 0823.47
    Originally posted by AWArulz
    Intellectually, I know I am ging to die, more than likely in the next 20-25 years, but really don't think or acknolwledge it much. I have made financial preperations for it, spiritual preperations for it, but, like a lot of people, haven't acknowledged to myself that it's really going to happen.

I guess this pretty well reflects the way I feel about death. The best way I can describe it is that I feel coated with karmic teflon. I haven't ever broken any bones. I've never been really sick. The single car wreck that I've been in, I walked away from with a bruise on my chest from the seatbelt, but my glasses were undamaged.

That doesn't mean I do stupid things. I don't walk in traffic. If someone shoots, I duck. But I'm not scared to scale the side of an inventory bin rather than get the ladder. I take the yellow light. I don't sweat the tornadoes, hurricanes, or other weather disasters.

Most of all, I don't fear dying, maybe because I feel like it won't happen to me. That doesn't mean I don't believe that I can die. But, like AWA said, I just don't feel it.

Fear spiders, yes. Death, no.
Kevintripod
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#9 Posted on 14.12.05 0812.11
Reposted on: 14.12.12 0823.49
Knowing that one day I will die scares the shit out of me and is my number one fear.

Another huge fear of mine is getting something like cancer or a brain tumor, and then having a doctor tell me that I'm going to die and that I have so many months to live. I absolutely don't want to see my own death coming. I wouldn't be able to handle it.
The Goon
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#10 Posted on 14.12.05 0853.21
Reposted on: 14.12.12 0856.25
    Originally posted by Kevintripod
    I absolutely don't want to see my own death coming. I wouldn't be able to handle it.


Strangely, I think I would prefer that, so I can do a farewell tour, and give shit away to friends and family. Get all my affairs in order, if you will.
edoug
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#11 Posted on 14.12.05 0917.50
Reposted on: 14.12.12 0918.41
I'm not really concerned with my mortality. Nothing I can do about it. My family's mortality is what scares the hell out of me.
spf
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#12 Posted on 14.12.05 0956.09
Reposted on: 14.12.12 0957.37
I haven't even come close to coming to grips with it. I really wish at times like this I could convince myself in a religion or an afterlife, because then I could face it more easily. But as it is, I fear death more than anything else. The thought of it makes me tense up and keeps me up at night.

How do those who don't have the comfort of truly believing in an afterlife deal with death?
Leroy
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#13 Posted on 14.12.05 1054.03
Reposted on: 14.12.12 1054.04
I believe "coming to terms" something that happens as you get older. You aren't really supposed to be okay with dying when you are in the prime of your life.

For me, the moral of the story is - appreciate every moment as much as you can. There ain't much you can do about the rest.
JayJayDean
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#14 Posted on 14.12.05 1101.15
Reposted on: 14.12.12 1101.47
    Originally posted by AWArulz
    Intellectually, I know I am ging to die, more than likely in the next 20-25 years, but really don't think or acknolwledge it much. I have made financial preperations for it, spiritual preperations for it, but, like a lot of people, haven't acknowledged to myself that it's really going to happen.


I with that, except I'd like to think I've got a few more years than that. However, and this is not based on any fact or anything rational, I KNOW I'm not going to die before Mrs. JJD. In fact, I never worry about anything happening to me when I'm traveling alone or anything like that.

I was once on a flight from Memphis to Seattle, non-stop, that started experiencing mechanical issues about thirty minutes after takeoff. I was sitting in the rear-part of the plane and the rear engines kind of locked up a couple of times, each time giving the plane a violent shake. The pilot came on and told us what they thought the problem was and that the best course of action was to go back to Memphis.

On our approach to Memphis the pilot told us that with a full fuel-load and no place to dump it, we'd be coming in hard and fast, but that was how they would have to do it so we shouldn't be worried about how this landing was looking compared to a normal one. THEN, he comes back on with the kicker: there will be fire trucks and emergency equipment on the ground, just in case. I know at least half the people on that plane KNEW they were dying that day, and I just read my magazine, equally knowing we weren't (or at least *I* wasn't).

    Originally posted by edoug
    My family's mortality is what scares the hell out of me.


I do spend more time thinking about that, not so much for my older relatives, but Mrs. JJD and IJ and what I would do if they suddenly were both gone and I was left alone. In the end, all I can do is hope it doesn't happen anytime soon.
Stilton
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#15 Posted on 14.12.05 1147.26
Reposted on: 14.12.12 1152.34
It's never something I ever really had to wrestle with mentally or emotionally. We're all going die. I've always known it. It's never really bothered me. I'm just trying to make the best use of the time that I have, with the possible exception of posting messages on the internet.

Death is frightening, sure, and sad. Death is "change", and many people don't like their comfort interupted by it. But death is here to stay. I suppose a lot of people cope with the reality of death by clinging to comforting myths and archaic religious beliefs, or even making up their own myths if it suits them. I think it's mentally healthier to accept the finality of death and take responsibility for your life while you have it.

EDIT:

I found it. The great philosopher Bertrand Russell pretty much summed it for me in 1954. Here's a quote from his "Human Society in Ethics and Politics":

"There is something feeble and a little contemptible about a man who cannot face the perils of life without the help of comfortable myths. Almost inevitably some part of him is aware that they are myths and that he believes them only because they are comforting. But he dares not face this thought! Moreover, since he is aware, however dimly, that his opinions are not rational, he becomes furious when they are disputed."
-- Bertrand Russell, Human Society in Ethics and Politics (1954),


(edited by Stilton on 14.12.05 1252)
DrDirt
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#16 Posted on 14.12.05 1217.10
Reposted on: 14.12.12 1217.21
While not in a hurry, I can deal with my mortality. As a Christian, I know death is just a part of living and there is indeed a better place awaiting. I know that's easier said than done but it's what I believe. On a personal level, I am more concerned with living a decent life.

The mortality I have touble dealing with is my wife's and daughter's.
R-Dub
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#17 Posted on 14.12.05 1238.10
Reposted on: 14.12.12 1238.53
I came to terms with my mortality gradually. My dad worked for a funeral home and I would help him. We would have to go to the adult foster care homes to pick up the recently deceased. Also, since I am the youngest in my family, I have seen several aunts, uncles, cousins pass away as I was growing up. What really cemented it was the passing of my best friend's mom from cancer 3 months ago and my father's death 2 months ago. I am a Christian, so I know I am going to a better place, so I don't fear death or worry about it.
Kevintripod
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#18 Posted on 14.12.05 2359.13
Reposted on: 15.12.12 0000.10
    Originally posted by spf
    I haven't even come close to coming to grips with it. I really wish at times like this I could convince myself in a religion or an afterlife, because then I could face it more easily. But as it is, I fear death more than anything else. The thought of it makes me tense up and keeps me up at night.

    How do those who don't have the comfort of truly believing in an afterlife deal with death?


That is exactly how I feel about the whole thing.
Kei Posiskunk
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#19 Posted on 15.12.05 0051.21
Reposted on: 15.12.12 0051.27
    Originally posted by spf
    I haven't even come close to coming to grips with it. I really wish at times like this I could convince myself in a religion or an afterlife, because then I could face it more easily. But as it is, I fear death more than anything else. The thought of it makes me tense up and keeps me up at night.

    How do those who don't have the comfort of truly believing in an afterlife deal with death?


I spend every waking moment of my life in sheer terror.

Especially as I have very little in the way of friends, and am an outcast among both sides of my family (Child of an inter-racial marriage that neither side approved of)...

I really want to do something and make some sort of impact on someone else's life... I want to be noticed and remembered so that I don't just drop to nothingness as if I never existed in the first place...

Death doesn't scare me. Knowing that the world will go on without me, and nobody will care scares the living shit out of me.
jwrestle
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#20 Posted on 5.2.06 1743.00
Reposted on: 5.2.13 1744.13
Simple...be morbid about it. Be ready to check out tommorrow because you might not make it to tommorrow. Try to have everything you know of in order and incase your time comes to leave this life. So, if I'm gone tommorrow I don't have kids so I don't have to worry about them. My stuff will be sold off so somebody I don't know. So be it...I have better things on the other side if you stay true to your faith.
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