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The 7 - Pro Wrestling - RAW #655 12/12/05 Register and log in to post!
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ekedolphin
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#1 Posted on 12.12.05 2212.45
Reposted on: 12.12.12 2214.07
Well… there are a lot of interesting questions that were raised during last week’s RAW, but there are a couple things we already know about this week’s version that are pre-emptively pissing me off.

First the stuff I care about-- who will be the new general manager of RAW? What’s going on with Shelton Benjamin? Was Triple H and Stephanie’s brief “hello” exchange a sign of a new McMahon-Helmsley Era, or did they do that just to screw with our minds? Who will get a shot at John Cena’s WWE Title in the Elimination Chamber at New Year’s Revolution?

We’ll have qualifying matches tonight, BUT—in one of them, Chris Masters is facing Viscera. I have to agree with Online Onslaught’s Rick Scaia about this—it’s a match between two guys that are dramatically under-qualified to be competing in PPV main events.

The other four qualifying matches should be good, though, so let’s get on with the show.

We start with a recap of last week in which we took out the trash. And WWE’s probably gonna get sued for using the theme from People’s Court.

“Eric Bischoff… YOU’RE FAAAAAAAAAAAAAHREEEEEEEEEEED!” Anyone else think that Vinnie Mac ought to get his own series of The Apprentice?

No RAW music, we go straight to “No Chance in Hell” as Vinnie Mac comes out. We’re in Boston, Massachusetts. “All right, well, as promised, as promised—” Bad microphone, and Vinnie gets handed a new one after bitching at a techie. “Well as promised, last week we took out the trash. I got some bait-and-switch technique, not some apparition, last week I fired Eric Bischoff’s ass. And I can tell you this, Eric Bischoff is gonna stay fired. Notwithstanding that, I’d like to thank Eric Bischoff for his contributions, and wish he and his family a very Merry Christmas.”

Now he starts running down the list of potential GM candidates. Stephanie McMahon gets vetoed by the crowd. They like the idea of Shane. Theo Epstein was allegedly knocking down Vince’s door. Vince even drops Ted Turner’s name—or it could be one of you. I vote for myself. “But nonetheless tonight, the interview process begins to determine the general manager of RAW.” But tonight we’ll have an interim GM—Vince himself.

So tonight Vince picks up where Eric Bischoff left off, and he officially books the qualifying matches. And Kurt Angle will start off the show—and the “you suck” chants are finally not going to be censored. Dude, seriously—it’s not as if Angle would have even known the difference if you hadn’t said anything. But Kurt’s all “you son of a bitch” as he walks to the ring.

Coach is already announcing his own desire to be the new general manager. Angle’s opponent, by the way, will be the Intercontinental Champion, Ric Flair. These two tore the fucking house down the last time they met, and I don’t think they’ll let us down tonight, either. Which makes the fact that either Chris Masters or Viscera will be in the main event of New Year’s Revolution that much more ridiculous.

Flair and Angle tie up, Flair knocks him down, takes him down with a shoulder block, and Kurt begs off for just a second. “WOO!” And Angle’s pissed. Angle puts a headlock on Flair, gets him into the corner, and starts punching him. Flair’s taken down to the mat, and when he gets back up Angle starts punching again, but Flair backs him into the corner and hits a few chops and punches. Angle off the ropes with a punch, but Flair hits several knockdown chops. When Angle gets back up, he immediately applies a rear waistlock and hits a German suplex. Flair grabs the ropes to force the break, takes down the straps and quickly hits a belly-to-back suplex—followed by the Ankle Lock. Flair tries to drag himself to the ropes, but Angle gets him back in the center of the ring. Finally Flair grabs hold of the ropes, and about two seconds too late, Angle switches to the special “Fuck You” Variation of the Ankle Lock, but—dude, if you’d done that two seconds earlier, it would’ve been over. As it is, Flair’s able to roll out of the ring after the break, and we go to commercial.

On Unlimited, Angle goes after Flair on the floor, hits a few punches, gets him back in the ring, connects with a snap suplex and gets two. When Angle tries to follow up, though, Flair applies the testicular claw, and Angle’s clearly not pleased by that. He rolls out of the ring, where Flair applies it again, but Angle punches him multiple times to force the break. Back body-drop by Angle, gets Flair back into the ring and Angle applies what could be called a facelock, but it’s more like he’s trying to rip Flair’s face apart. The hold’s broken by the referee, Angle punches Flair a few times, scoop-slam, and we’re back on USA.

Back on USA, Angle has Flair in a body scissors with a headlock—which he eventually downgrades to a headlock. But Flair gets to his feet and hits a back suplex on Angle. Both men get the count briefly, and Flair tries to chop Kurt, but he’s punched several times and thrown into the corner. Kurt charges, but ends up shoulder-first into the steel ring post. Flair hits several chop blocks on Kurt, some more chops, a knee breaker, and now we go to school—figure-four leglock applied!

Kurt grabs the ropes after about ten seconds, but makes the mistake of leaning into the corner, where he gets chopped a few times. Corner throw by Flair reversed, and when Flair runs out of the corner he eats a belly-to-back suplex. Olympic Slam, though, is denied, and Angle rolls out of the ring—grabbing a chair. He almost hits Flair with it, but Flair goes downstairs with a kick, and then chops him. Flair grabs the chair, but as the referee tries to tear it away from him, Kurt grabs his gold medal, balls it in his fist, and drills Flair with the POWER OF THE PUNCH~! One, two, three, and Kurt Angle’s the first to advance to the Elimination Chamber, where he’ll get his 6,145,232nd shot at Cena’s WWE Championship.

“You suck, huh? Well I guess I’m just gonna have to take that for granted, just like all you people are gonna have to take for granted that every single week I come out here for you, and have to listen to you. But not any more, because next week, from Afghanistan, RAW is WAR will emanate from Afghanistan, a special tribute to the troops. Now this was on a voluntary basis for the wrestlers. I’m proud to say that I did *not* volunteer. I want you to think about this—why would I fly 30,000 miles and risk my life for these troops that represent a country that doesn’t respect me. I’m not that stupid. You people chant, ‘you suck.’ That’s what I hear. But guess what—I don’t suck; I won an Olympic gold medal with a broken neck, I did the ultimate thing that anyone could ever do. And what did the troops do? Absolutely nothing.”

If they catch Osama, maybe Kurt would go over there and sign a few autographs. Boston’s perception of hometown heroes are either basketball players or hockey players. And we go backstage, where Daivari spits on a statue of Larry Bird, and grabs a can of spray paint to deface Bobby Orr, but John Cena runs into the picture and slaps the taste out of Daivari’s mouth. Daivari runs off, screaming in Farsi.

“Kurt, you send the bootleg Iron Sheik out here to desecrate the face of Larry Bird? That’s bootleg, you’re better than that. Well, actually no you’re not.”

Cena then spends a few minutes riffing on how he respects the soldiers, and how they’ve fought and died so that we have the right to say what we want, when we want. “You say the people think you suck, news flash, half the people think *I* suck!” Well, he’s right about that. Big “USA” chant coming from this crowd.

Without the soldiers there’s no America, and if Kurt can’t see that, then he can’t see Cena. And Cena spraypaints the camera.

That whole post-match thing *reeked* of cheap, cheap heat. Of course the only way they can get people to cheer for John Cena and boo Kurt Angle is to have Angle stand up there and tell us he doesn’t respect the troops—because who in the hell would cheer for him saying that? They have to commit character assassination on Kurt in order to get people to boo him—and they were no doubt helped by the fact that they’re in Cena’s home state, too.

On Unlimited, we show brief clips from a photo shoot Ashley did—and it was so unremarkable that I almost forgot about it as soon as it was over.

Back on USA, we see Randy Orton trying very hard to look scared of the Undertaker.

Flair is backstage when Edge and Lita come up to him—“Lose another tough match? Gonna go on the turnpike and beat the crap outta somebody else?” Fair warns him not to push his luck. “What would your lawyer say if you were involved in another case of assault—and with a woman, no less?” Lita offers her chin, and Flair glares at them as they walk off.

Shelton walks up to Shawn Michaels, and Shelton hands Shawn a copy of his book, which he apparently just got finished reading.

“Well?” “Well what?” “Last week you asked me for an attitude, I gave you an attitude, and you left your partner hanging.” “I didn’t leave you hanging, Shelton. I was tuning up the band, I had everything in control, and you screwed it up.”

But Shelton points out that HBK stood around and watched Carlito pin him, so clearly the only attitude HBK cares about is his own attitude.

“Selfish to the end. Tonight I’m gonna give Carlito a piece of my attitude, and I will advance to the Elimination Chamber. And I swear to God—I hope you get in there, too.”

They plug the Elimination Chamber qualifying matches, and then we go to break.

And on Unlimited, another throwaway “show me your signs, Boston!” segment. And of course they all sucked.

Back on USA, we see another montage sequence about John Cena’s “You Can’t See Me” album tour in Italy. Which we’ve already seen.

And back to live action, “Ain’t No Stopping Me Now” brings out Shelton Benjamin. How come Shelton Benjamin *or* Carlito is going to get in the Elimination Chamber, but we’re guaranteed to get Chris Masters in there, as well? (Not that Viscera is a better choice.)

*hock-tooey* “I spit in the face of people who don’t want to be cool!” Shelton’s looking like he’s going to kill Carlito as he walks to the ring—and brings him in the hard way by grabbing the ‘fro and throwing him into the ring. He throws him into the corner, stomps a mudhole in him, and Carlito’s like “Screw this” and leaves the ring—but Shelton follows, attacks him from behind, hits a suplex on him and Carlito rolls out of the ring again.

Carlito finally has a chance to take off his shirt. Shelton goes for a plancha, Carlito dodges, but Shelton lands on his feet, and when Carlito turns around he hits a clothesline. Awesome. More mudhole-stomping, and it continues as they go back to the ring—but an innovative backbreaker by Carlito allows him to gain an advantage, and he’s intent on keeping it, as he focuses on Shelton’s back. After a regular backbreaker, Carlito gets two. When he tries to get Shelton to his feet, Shelton punches him and goes for the dropkick—not happening. Now Carlito applies a Boston Crab, *in* Boston, no less—but Shelton rolls through and gets two. Carlito charges and eats a Samoan Drop.

Both men are down now, and the referee starts counting both men down. At seven, Carlito’s up—and when he gets up, he eats two clotheslines, a backbreaker, and Shelton gets two. Shelton stalks Carlito as he gets up, tries for a clothesline, but Carlito grabs the referee and gets him in the way. Shelton flips over the ref, forces him into a sunset flip for two, and yeah, they’re going tooo fast for me. Stinger Splash misses, neckbreakers and such, Shelton hits the T-Bone, but instead of covering him, he insists on going for the apple to spit it in Carlito’s face—idiot. Carlito rolls him up for three, and Shelton’s all “what the fuck?!” as Carlito walks off victorious.

Figures that they come up with an angle for Shelton Benjamin that actually causes him to lose *more* frequently than he’s already been losing. They could salvage this, though, if Shelton costs Michaels his match, and those two go at it at the Elimination Chamber.

Backstage, Trevor Murdoch wants to talk to Vince about the general manager position—and that ain’t happening. When he walks into his office, some bad pornography music is playing, and Candice tries to seduce Vince into giving *her* the general manager position. And she even does a fake-orgasm followed by her incredibly un-sexy and stupid Go Daddy dance.

Finally, Kurt runs into the office, with Daivari. “Vince, the party’s over, we need to talk right now.” Commercial.

On Unlimited, Maria hocks items from the WWE Auction site. First off, the chair that Rey Mysterio used to smack Big Show with. There’s also the hair and jacket from the “Bad, Bad Man” video. And last but not least, the portrait of former GM Eric Bischoff, who was apparently fired because he was mean to Maria. Maria says that you could buy it and throw darts at it, or do something she’s always wanted to do (which she does)—put gum on his nose. Hee.

When we come back, the Slam of the Day recap talks about how Kane and Big Show destroyed the rest of RAW’s tag-team division (such as it is) last week.

And well it’s a big show now. Big Show comes down for his Elimination Chamber qualifying match against Shawn Michaels.

By Michaels’ facial expressions, he knows he’s got his work cut out for him. Big Show tries to back him into the corner, HBK tries to dodge, but Big Show throws him into the corner, ducking and hitting, and when Big Show charges, HBK pulls down the top rope and Show goes flying. HBK makes the mistake of trying to go after Show on the floor, but Show presses him over his head back into the ring.

Show hits chops, an overhand right, steps on Shawn’s chest and hits a big boot. Big elbow misses, Shawn chops him, but Big Show applies a massive bearhug on HBK. The crowd is chanting for HBK, who punches Show and finally boxes his ears to get out of it. HBK runs the ropes, Show ducks, and HBK kicks him. Flying burrito is caught, and HBK throws him into the corner. Another flying burrito connects, staggers Show, HBK kips up, but Big Show grabs him for the chokeslam. HBK counters into the DDT, and heads up top, connecting with the Macho Man Elbow. Now it’s time to tune up the band, and before Show can get up all the way, he hits Sweet Chin Music on him—which only takes Show down to one knee. HBK goes for it again, is caught by Show for the chokeslam, but both men are down and aren’t getting up anytime soon.

Triple H runs down to the ring with a chair—but who’s he going to hit with it? He rolls Michaels out of the ring, and looks like he’s about to enter the ring to nail Show with the chair. But Show staggers to his feet, and Triple H has second thoughts—then he grins, bashes *Michaels* with the chair, and the referee immediately calls for the bell, awarding the match to HBK by disqualification. And by the look on Big Show’s face, that might be the last thing that Triple H ever does.

So—what’s Shelton going to do at New Year’s Revolution then, if Michaels advanced to the Chamber and Shelton didn’t?

In Bischoff’s office, Kurt Angle says that he has to make a statement tonight, and demands a WWE Championship match against Cena tonight in front of his hometown fans. Not happening. Instead, Vince puts Daivari in a match with Cena in a “You Can’t See Me!” match—Cena will be blindfolded. Now get the hell out of my office.

As I write, with the Unlimited window mesmerized, I hear over the headphones, “THE WORLD’S LARGEST LOVE MACHINE—VISCERA.” Just the thing I don’t want to hear over my headphones. Masters/Viscera in the Match of Extreme Suck is up next.

And when we come back to USA, Jerry Lawler says sotto voce, “This is going to be a great match,” as Masters’ music plays. You’re not going to convince me of that, sorry. Joey Styles points out that if Masters were somehow (in my worst nightmares) to win the WWE Championship, he’d be the youngest WWE Champion in history at age 22. Sigh. That thought makes me think WWE just might be that stupid.

Viscera uses his extreme size advantage to throw Masters around. And there’s a Hogan/Andre moment when Masters tries to slam Viscera and ends up getting splashed by him. Masters also can’t put the Master Lock on him, apparently. After a blocked Samoan Drop, Masters tries again, and gets slammed into the turnbuckle. Big Samoan Drop by Viscera, and the crowd is totally underwhelmed—and so am I. Vis charges Masters, drop toe-hold makes him eat turnbuckle, the crowd chants “boring!”, and sure enough Masters finally gets the Master Lock on him. And Chris Fucking Masters advances to the Elimination Chamber, where Big Show and Shelton Benjamin, and either Triple H or Kane, will *not* be.

They couldn’t have found another possible pairing that could have killed the momentum of the show more than that one. Vince, listen to the crowds—nobody cares about Chris Masters. He knows less moves than even Hulk Hogan does, and has a hundredth of the charisma. Bottom line is, Chris Masters sucks, and there’s nothing that anyone reading this recap is going to be able to say to convince me otherwise. So if you disagree with me on that, don’t bother trying to argue with me, because I’m right and you’re wrong.

We see another recap of the Undertaker/Randy Orton horror B-flick on SmackDown, and are reminded that Triple H still has a qualifying match with Kane, and Triple H will take on Daivari. So Chris Masters did serve *some* purpose—he actually makes me appreciate John Cena and Triple H more.

Trish is gonna let Mickie James down easily, but Mickie wants to talk to her first. “These last few months hanging out with you have been amazing.” She went to WrestleMania X-7 with her grandpappy—the one in which Trish stood up to Vince— “I mean, you were *totally* sleeping with him”—and shortly thereafter grandpappy passed away. And now they’re hanging out with each other, and after Mickie’s #1 contender’s match with Victoria tonight, she could end up across the ring from her at New Year’s Revolution, and wouldn’t that be awesome?!

Apparently whatever Trish was going to say, she certainly isn’t going to say now, so instead she wishes Mickie luck. I love this angle. It reminds me very much of the ongoing Eddie Guerrero/Batista angle that was happening just before Eddie died—everyone *knew* there’d be a point when Eddie would turn on Batista, and the anticipation of when that would happen was keeping people tuned in. Not entirely the same thing, but somewhat close.

Anyway, after they play it on Unlimited, we go to USA and see it *again*, which annoys not only the people who watch Unlimited, but the fans in the arena, too.

Matt Striker comes out for his lesson.

“For those of you that are educationally impaired or as you people would say stupid, and you don’t know who I am, or perhaps, hey listen, sometimes things are your fault, not mine—or perhaps you can’t read—my name is Matt Striker, and I am your teacher. I’d like to lecture all of you on something that is quite near and dear to our hearts.” He spells “family values”, and then says it. “What happened to this country? Where are all the values that we once held dear? I’ll give you an example, I’ll use a term, okay? Working mothers. Young man, you know what that means? Of course you don’t, because the only work your mother does is when she’s flat on her back.”

The more kids Momma pushes out, the more Uncle Sam has to dish out. People aren’t being born out of love, but out of greed. And most of the fathers are out with other women—or in Massachusetts, they’re marrying other men. Same-sex unions are ruining our country. But it’s not our fault that you’re out there smoking the pot or getting all tattooed up, it’s just that they don’t know any better—they’re uneducated. And that’s where Matt comes in. “Are family values missing from your home? Judging by what I can see, they are. Don’t be afraid, look for new role models, look to a man like me!” Striker’s getting some great “asshole” chants. “Look to me as a father figure—I am Matt Striker, and I’m going to be your teacher.”

Matt Striker, who hasn’t been seen on RAW since the last time he faced Kurt Angle in the Angle Invitational, got more heel heat from that segment alone than Chris Masters has gotten from his ill-conceived main-event push. Think about *that*. Masters hasn’t managed to get anyone to boo him, because he hasn’t managed to get anyone to give a *damn* about him.

Going back to Vince’s office, we see CHRIS NOWITSKI~! For the first time in a loooooong time, and he’s pushing for the hiring of a Harvard-educated general manager. Oh, hell yeah. But then Dusty Rhodes comes in, and *he* may be general manager, too. God, I hope not.

On Unlimited, Dusty talks about how Vince wrote the book on sports entertainment, and how Dusty’s the bull of this here woods, and whenever Vince opens his mouth, Dusty stops him from getting in word one. OK, that was funny, but dealing with that every week would drive me up a tree.

Trish’s music plays, and Mickie James comes out to the ring, accompanied by Trish, who takes a seat at the announce table. Victoria comes out, immediately punches Mickie down, and hits mounted punches. Mickie tries to punch Victoria’s midsection, but Victoria picks her up into a spinning backbreaker. Scoop slam, and Victoria steps on Mickie for two. Splash denied, and Mickie drills her with several punches and a clothesline. Victoria backs up into the corner where Mickie continues the assault.

Two more clotheslines, flying burrito, two-count. Mickie hits a kick to the midsection, gets in the corner again and tries a hurricanrana, but it’s reversed into a Boston crab, but Mickie gets to the ropes. Mickie hits a Tornado DDT, gets three, and Trish looks… concerned, to say the least, as Mickie bounces around the ring in jubilation.

We see a commercial for the WrestleMania Complete Anthology, which is way too expensive for me to buy anytime soon. Anyone wanna buy it for me?

“Ohmygod Trish, I can’t believe it I won I won! This has gotta be the greatest moment in my entire life. And just to think—New Year’s Revolution, I get to be in the ring with the greatest women’s wrestler of all-time, TRISH STRAAAAAAAAAAAAAATUS!”

Mickie comes *very* close to saying it would be an even bigger honor to win the Women’s Championship, but those words won’t quite come out. Instead she’s all, “It’ll be an honor to be in the ring against you instead of just in your corner.” Hmm. So, is Mickie gonna need to get new theme music for New Year’s Revolution, or is it gonna be a Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy thing in which they both came down to the ring with the same theme music, and didn’t bother restarting it when the second person came out?

When we come back to USA, “It’s All About The Game” by Motorhead brings out Triple H. I’d like to see HHH advance to the Chamber just to hit Chris Masters in the head three dozen times with a sledgehammer. It probably wouldn’t have any noticeable effect on Masters’ wrestling ability or intelligence, though.

On the other hand, I get the sense they’re gonna have Triple H challenge for Cena’s title at WrestleMania 22, so if Trips advances here, he’ll have already had a chance to win the title. Unless Trips *does* win the title at NYR, and Cena goes into WrestleMania as the challenger. Hmm.

Kane is his opponent. And as Kane walks to the side of the ring to hand off his title belt, Trips thinks about rushing him and decides against it. When Kane actually does hand off the belt, Trips rushes and pays for it. Trips hits a few punches on him, Kane shrugs ‘em off, throws him into the corner and lifts him up by the throat, throwing him into the corner. Kane throws him into the corner twice more—and on the third attempt, Trips gets the knee up and starts opening up on Kane in the corner. But when Triple H tries to throw Kane over the top rope, Kane grabs him, reverses it, and pitches Trips instead. We go to break.

Only not—instead we have highlights from the military tour, and during it, we go right to Unlimited. Trips throws Kane into the ring stairs to audible “TRIPLE H!” chants, rolls him back into the ring, kicks him and chokes him with his boot. Trips goes outside, drives an elbow into Kane’s throat, rolls back into the ring, but gets hit with a punch to the midsection and then to the head. Kane’s fully up now, but Trips punches and kicks him, then hits a vertical suplex and Harley Race knee for two.

Trips throws Kane out of the ring again, some guy keeps screaming “Come on, Hunter! Kick his ass!” as Hunter makes Kane eat steel post.

And honest to God, the moment Unlimited ends, we see the MNM/Mario Kart commercial. And after a brief Hulk commercial, we go back to live action on USA, where Trips hits a spinebuster on Kane for two.

Trips applies a sleeper hold, but Kane lifts him for a side slam and here comes the WWE-mandated once-a-match double-count by the referee. Trips gets up at seven, Kane sits up as soon as Trips approaches him, and knocks The Game down with several punches. Kane throws Trips into the corner three times for immediate clotheslines, lifts him up for an over-the-shoulder powerslam, and now Kane’s headed up top… don’t do it, Kane.

Indeed, Triple H rolls out immediately, and Kane decides he’d better go after him, making him eat barricade. He rolls him back into the ring, hits the flying clothesline, and now Kane’s sensing the time is near. He calls for the chokeslam, Triple H tries again to escape, but Triple H tries to roll out. Not happening—he’s thrown back into the ring by his hair. Kane throws him into the ropes, but he hits a knee. Pedigree reversed, big boot hits the referee instead! Kane tries for the chokeslam, but Trips reverses into a DDT.

But instead of covering—the referee’s down, anyway—Triple H grabs the sledgehammer. Where the hell’s Show? Oh, there he is—he starts stalking down to the ring, and Triple H wants Show to get into the ring now that Trips has a weapon in his hand. Kane sits up, and Kane and Big Show double-chokeslam Triple H. Big Show drags the referee over, and he delivers a slooooow three-count! Whoa. Kane advances to the Elimination Chamber, which will apparently free up space for Triple H and Big Show to meet up at NYR.

So, at New Year’s Revolution, John Cena defends the WWE Title against Shawn Michaels, Carlito, Kane, Kurt Angle, and Chris Masters. Can you guess which one is not like the other, can you guess which one doesn’t belong?

John Cena is WALKING~!, but not before he stops to take a quick peek at Ashley’s photo shoot, um, photos.

Another Cena/Undertaker vignette, and I’m still not buying Armageddon.

After a *long* delay, just when I’m about to write that we didn’t have an Unlimited segment—

“ALEYAYAYLELEYALYLYAYAEALAYEA!” I got Daivari’d. Daivari comes down with Kurt Angle for his main-event match with John Cena. You know, Daivari is a three-time Cruiserweight Champion in my GM Mode game on SVR06.

Cena comes out next, gets the expected hometown pop, and now he puts on the blindfold. Let’s see how long that stays on. Cena goes down to one hand and one knee, while reaching out with his hand. Daivari plays a game of “Marco Polo” with him, making hand claps and stomping on the ring canvas to get Cena to chase him. Daivari gets a slap to the back of Cena’s head out of the deal, ducks a ton of punches, but finally gets a punch to Daivari’s jaw. Daivari throws the referee in front of him, and the ref almost gets his ass beaten before he gets across to Cena that it’s him. Cena gets the crowd involved by pointing in various directions and getting a “NO! NO! YES!” help from the fans. Daivari, getting concerned, calls Angle up to the ring apron, lures Cena there, and Angle punches him in the gut.

Immediately Daivari goes on the offensive with mounted punches, but Cena reverses into punches of his own, applies the STF (which is now being referred to as the STFU, hee,) and Daivari quickly taps. Angle runs into the ring and starts pummeling Cena, but Cena removes the blindfold, clotheslines Angle down, and when Angle leaves the ring, Daivari gets the F-U to end the show.

DASCOOL: Shelton and Carlito put on a good match, as did Kane and Triple H, Victoria and Mickie James, and pretty much anybody not named “Chris Masters” or “Viscera”. It was also great to see Big Show and Triple H continue their issues; the return of Christopher Nowitski; the way Matt Striker got the fans booing him; and the continuing storyline between Trish and Mickie James.

YOU SUCK: A big F-U to WWE for putting Chris Masters in the Elimination Chamber and not putting Shelton Benjamin in there. Actually, pretty much *anyone*-- I don’t care, fuckin’ Rob Conway, even—would have been better in that slot than the Masterpiece of Extreme Sucktitude.

WHAT?!: And I realize Kurt Angle’s a heel, but he was going to be booed in Boston anyway *without* him talking shit about the troops. Talk about WWE practically putting a sign up that says, “Please, please, PLEASE boo Kurt Angle!”


(edited by ekedolphin on 12.12.05 2313)
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redsoxnation
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#2 Posted on 12.12.05 2221.52
Reposted on: 12.12.12 2223.52
Dusty Rhodes hugging Vince McMahon is in the cats having sex with dogs category of things that are just wrong.
Speaking of unnatural acts, Kane improved his record against Trip to 3-956. And, after a decade, maybe it is time for Trip to incorporate another finisher (besides the sledgehammer) to go along with the pedigree.
Shelton is not in the Elimination Chamber but Carlito and Masters are? This continued double push of Carlito and Masters just doesn't compute. One perhaps, but continuously both?
I want Kamala GM week. That would be entertainment.
No talk show for Edge, but I guess Flair vs. Edge is coming.
Shame on the Boston fans. At the old Garden, insulting Bird or Orr would have led to at least a dozen people jumping the railing.
Where are Rick Martel and Jimmy Garvin when you need them? And, interesting to see they realize at least half the crowd on a given night is anti-Cena.
geemoney
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#3 Posted on 12.12.05 2222.45
Reposted on: 12.12.12 2228.26
Angle v.s Flair was disappointing- I'm really starting to see Flair show his age now....The post-match stuff was kind of strange, but I guess "whatever it takes to get Cena over as a face" seems to be the credo....I was disappointed in the follow-up to the Edge/Hayes confrontation last week. I also thought Flair would do something more dramatic after being insulted last week than just walk out for a match like nothing happened....

Shelton's segment with HBK backstage actually wasn't too bad....The Shelton/Carlito match was decent....That chokeslam-into-a-DDT in the Michaels/Big Show match was pretty sweet....At least Masters/Viscera was short....I actually liked the Matt Striker segment- surprised at the amount of heat it got. I thought it'd be a cheesy teaching segment instead of getting into politics again....Mickie/Victoria was all-right....

Triple H/Kane was kinda slow, and the finish sure surprised me....Cena/Daivari was pretty entertaining, actually. At least this was a DIFFERENT "Cena beats the odds" match.
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#4 Posted on 12.12.05 2225.09
Reposted on: 12.12.12 2229.01
Is Boston becoming Bizarroland East? Shelton was booed before he lost, Masters was cheered as he locked Viscera in the nelson, Triple H earnd some chants ... If Angle was facing anyone else, he'd have gotten cheered.

I'm not enthused by the Chamber folks because Carlito, Kane, and Masters are taking up space. I look to Angle, Cena, and Michaels to carry this bout in what's essentially a gimmicked-ip revival of their three-way PPV match.
Kane Is Ugly
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#5 Posted on 12.12.05 2245.48
Reposted on: 12.12.12 2246.49
I love Matt Striker. He reminds me of how awesone the Dean Douglas character was. His promos rule, but not unlike Carlito, his in ring work aint the best.

Oh and I marked for Chris Norwinski's return. That guy kicks ass as well. I wish he didn't have to retire.
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#6 Posted on 12.12.05 2320.57
Reposted on: 12.12.12 2321.46
I get the feeling that eke doesn't really care much for Chris Masters...
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#7 Posted on 13.12.05 0002.42
Reposted on: 13.12.12 0004.04
Guess I just didn't take to the show too well being as i have really close frinds in Iraq right now and have had some there since the begining. I don't care if it is written in his script or not what Kurt said was just plain wrong. Heat or not he just told the entire viewing audience that he didn't think the troops are worthy of him.

I don't care who wrote it or if he means it ( Which he probably honestly dosen't) but that was just wrong. I got to thinking after hearing that that if WWE has to stoop ot that for a show there is no need in me watching it so I tinkered on the computer for a while. I personally hope that this angle comes back and bites Kurt in the butt. Wouldn't bother me if at some point he want visiting a millitary base and they refused him for that crap.

Walking on dangerous ground doing what he did tonight.

As forthe rest of the show, it was background noise to me.
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#8 Posted on 13.12.05 0030.45
Reposted on: 13.12.12 0035.50
So...Confirmed & Speculated for New Year's Revolution:

-Elimination Chamber for the WWE Championship: John Cena [c] vs. Kane vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Carlito Colon vs. Chris Masters vs. Kurt Angle
-Intercontinental Title: Ric Flair [c] vs. Edge
-Women's Title: Trish Stratus [c] vs. Mickey James
-Triple H vs. Big Show
-Probably/Possibly in action: Shelton Benjamin, Chavo Guerrero, Gregory Helms, Trevor Murdoch, Matt Striker, Rob Conway, Lance Cade...wow, there's a lot of heels and only two faces.

Last year's NYR had 6 matches: A throwaway Tag Title defense where Eugene blew out his knee, a mediocre Women's Title match where Lita blew out her knee and they had to change the finish, a craptacular 2 IC Title falls between Shelton & Maven, a JERRY LAWLER MATCH, Kane/Snitsky Part XVII...and an awesome Chamber match. Assumedly we'll be getting 2 more matches to bring the total up to 6.

FYI: Angle's shot is his 5th in the past year (dating back to last year's Royal Rumble). He still hasn't won the belt.
FYI..too: Trish Stratus won the Women's Championship at last year's New Year's Revolution.
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#9 Posted on 13.12.05 0104.53
Reposted on: 13.12.12 0106.19
Damn, Eke, I was hoping for some outrage from you when Trips and not Shelton came down to interrupt the match. It's funny to get your reaction in real time though.

As for Benjamin, I'm pretty confused that they're running with HHH vs. Big Show so soon. They definately could of used HHH in the chamber...btw

"When we come back to USA, “It’s All About The Game” by Motorhead brings out Triple H. I’d like to see HHH advance to the Chamber just to hit Chris Masters in the head three dozen times with a sledgehammer. It probably wouldn’t have any noticeable effect on Masters’ wrestling ability or intelligence, though."

...haha, i agree. Maybe Shelton can work his way into the HHH/Show match and make it a 3 man match to prove to HBK that he can beat those guys.

Nowinski would be an awesome choice for general manager. They should pair him up with Matt Striker and they'd really have something there.

(edited by Santa Sangre on 13.12.05 0207)
The Guinness.
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#10 Posted on 13.12.05 0147.14
Reposted on: 13.12.12 0149.22
I'm at a loss here. The show was mainly wrestling tonight yet I wished for more “entertainment” than “sports”. Each match could've been the ultimate main event for Heat yet not quite worthy of Raw though.

With that said...here are my observations...

1. Despite the lack of "push" that Shelton is getting, it all makes sense considering his "mom" is going to join the roster. He actually is getting a push.......Damn I wish I had something quirky to say here! Anyone have a gun?

2. Damn, Big Show is big. Of course I'm not really surprised by Show's size but damn, Shawn looked like a little dweeb (a dweeb that can wrassle like no other) against him.

3. How is WWE going to convince me to by the last two PPV's of this year? Armageddon, Revolution. HIC/Elimination Chamber......ah....that’s great and all but who else is playing?

4. Striker was good…up until the “I’m your teacher” thing at the end. Needs a little work on the catch phrase.

5. Cena VS. Daivari - "The First ever you can't see me match". Um, considering it is Cena's lame catch phrase, shouldn't this have been called "The first ever I can't see you match"???? I recently watched a similar, god awful match on WWE 24/7 with Jake the Snake (name his opponent and ekedolphin will send you $200 via U.S. Postal Service). Why would they even bother to attempt this again.

Raw was.....what it was
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#11 Posted on 13.12.05 0216.17
Reposted on: 13.12.12 0217.42
    Originally posted by The Guinness.Lanny Poffo?
    5. Cena VS. Daivari - "The First ever you can't see me match". Um, considering it is Cena's lame catch phrase, shouldn't this have been called "The first ever I can't see you match"???? I recently watched a similar, god awful match on WWE 24/7 with Jake the Snake (name his opponent and ekedolphin will send you $200 via U.S. Postal Service). Why would they even bother to attempt this again.

    Raw was.....what it was



I noticed that Joey Styles said he didn't remember another match where only one person was blindfolded. There was a PPV match in 2003 (I think at the Rumble, but it could've been No Way Out) where a blindfolded Jamie Noble faced Nidia.
Hogan's My Dad
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#12 Posted on 13.12.05 0219.31
Reposted on: 13.12.12 0219.36
Can someone explain to me what the war on terror has to do with freedom of speech? I'm sure some far-right spin doctor could make it about that, but really, the troops ain't over there so that you can tell someone they suck. It's really an insult to the troops to suggest their plight is over anything so trivial, but it would be asking too much to make them say it's about oil and imperialism, which it also is, as well as religion, terrorism, and about thirty million other things. Anyway you slice it, there are more people who want to censor WWE in the U.S. than there are in Iraq. The least they could do is have Cena say they're sacrificing for the good of the country, which is at least vague enough to be considered true. Or, even better, just go over there and do a show without A/ doing media rounds to blab about how wonderful you are and get credit for it, and B/ making anything to do with a war that has killed thousands of people a part of any storyline on a goddamn wrestling show.

Triple H and Kane was boring even in fast forward, and no less predictable. I knew there'd be a ref bump. I knew he'd backdrop out of the pedigree. I knew Triple H would go for the sledge. I knew Big Show would come out.

Angle should not under any circumstances be selling like that for Flair. And he certainly shouldn't need to cheat to beat him. I'm not particularly looking forward to Edge jobbing clean to him several times in a row either. Oh, and who is Dok Hendrix fucking kidding? Not one of those old-timers did it "so that today's generation" could have a job. Bitch, please. They did it for themselves, hoping to have in their time what WWE wrestlers have in this day and age. Missing the boat doesn't make you a hero.

Striker cracked me the hell up.

I'm surprised Big Show had the clout to half-sell sweet chin music, but it was believable on him, I'll say that.

Is there any chance the fans won't boo Cena out of wherever Revolution is held if he leaves with the title?
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#13 Posted on 13.12.05 0221.07
Reposted on: 13.12.12 0224.37
Rick Martel! Whoo hoo, gas money for a week!
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#14 Posted on 13.12.05 0357.39
Reposted on: 13.12.12 0359.01
    Originally posted by Hogan's My Dad
    Is there any chance the fans won't boo Cena out of wherever Revolution is held if he leaves with the title?


Totally possible. Nice to see Cena acknowledge half of the crowd (males probably) hate his guts. Spoilers for next week.

Spoiler Below: Highlight text to read
Hell, I'm not a Masters fan and I'm upset at what Cena pulls next week in Afganistan, providing the spoilers recounted it perfectly. Cena of all people doesn't need to break the Masterlock. That pisses me off more than Shawn almost doing it.


Man, you guys got me wishing someone would get sprayed in the face with Arrogance now. Someone hook Sylvan up with that stuff.
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#15 Posted on 13.12.05 0828.06
Reposted on: 13.12.12 0828.56

    Joey Styles points out that if Masters were somehow (in my worst nightmares) to win the WWE Championship, he’d be the youngest WWE Champion in history at age 22. Sigh. That thought makes me think WWE just might be that stupid.


Nah. That'd bump off current golden boy Randy Orton from the "youngest to hold the world title" spot (even though he only got the belt so the WWE could take that distinction away from Lesnar).
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#16 Posted on 13.12.05 0939.10
Reposted on: 13.12.12 0939.18
I thought that Striker's choice of "family values" as his big topic to debut (on RAW) his character was an odd one. I think of wrestling fans as a generally conservative lot, and so I was surprised that he went that direction to get heel heat.
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#17 Posted on 13.12.05 1100.21
Reposted on: 13.12.12 1100.27
    Originally posted by sentonBOMB
    I thought that Striker's choice of "family values" as his big topic to debut (on RAW) his character was an odd one. I think of wrestling fans as a generally conservative lot, and so I was surprised that he went that direction to get heel heat.
Ah, but WWE is a selectively conservative organization and I guess assumes their fans are, too. The truth is that though they most often toe the conservative line (empty, silly patriotism, et al.), much like Rupert Murdoch, they're more pro-money than anything else. Supporters of "family values" have always been a thorn in their side, and thus heel Striker lectures about them.

I thought it was cute when in 2000 JR and the King essentially told viewers not to vote for Gore because Joe Lieberman was affiliated with the PTC, when in fact, the PTC is a deeply right-wing organization with Lieberman as token Democrat.

(edited by Destrucity on 13.12.05 0903)
sentonBOMB
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#18 Posted on 13.12.05 1200.33
Reposted on: 13.12.12 1201.25
    Originally posted by Destrucity
      Originally posted by sentonBOMB
      I thought that Striker's choice of "family values" as his big topic to debut (on RAW) his character was an odd one. I think of wrestling fans as a generally conservative lot, and so I was surprised that he went that direction to get heel heat.
    Ah, but WWE is a selectively conservative organization and I guess assumes their fans are, too. The truth is that though they most often toe the conservative line (empty, silly patriotism, et al.), much like Rupert Murdoch, they're more pro-money than anything else. Supporters of "family values" have always been a thorn in their side, and thus heel Striker lectures about them.


Yeah, I think what threw me was his specific reference to gay marriage... I don't think of wrestling fans as a really gay-loving lot. That combined with the jingoistic patriotism stuff by Cena/Angle just seemed too weird to me. I figured the same people who would be all about the military wouldn't be all about gay rights. But that might just be my pesky liberal stereotypes acting up again.
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#19 Posted on 13.12.05 1239.25
Reposted on: 13.12.12 1239.40
For some reason as soon as I heard "STFU" it immediately made me imagine a female wrestler with a "dirty skank" gimmick who could then use a devastating groin-based finisher called the "STD".

Also, kudos to HMD for picking up on the empty rhetoric and general silliness of Cena's speech. The slight gain in respect I had for his character after he acknowledged that half the people thought he sucked was then dashed by some of his completely asinine, irrelevent and logically fallible statements about the troops and their purpose.

I have no problem with the words or behavior of any heels, ever. Nothing should be sacred.
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#20 Posted on 13.12.05 1254.03
Reposted on: 13.12.12 1255.03
    Originally posted by sentonBOMB
    I don't think of wrestling fans as a really gay-loving lot.


Which is all kinds of ironic when you consider exactly what they spend their time and money on to watch.
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