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The 7 - Pro Wrestling - TNA ImPACT Workrate Report Episode #9 Register and log in to post!
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#1 Posted on 29.11.05 0353.45
Reposted on: 29.11.12 0354.40

-BG James mic work. So Kip James comes out with these tight pony tales and I'm afeared. Billy Gunn earned 3LK's trust by becoming Konnan's prag????? "You'll be peeling my potatoes and tossing my salad. Orralay!!!." Thankfully that's not the angle they run as BG James gets on the mic and explains that he wants to turn 3LK into 4LK. And damn is BG James really great on the mic working this angle. I mean it is a really great southern angle. I just wish it was with people I cared more about and who could provide better matches between the angle:
BG James asks Scott and Brad to forgive Juve and let him into the fold..."man he's been my reliable source, he's been there for me like a family...I know he's hurt you in the past but we've all hurt each other and we're still family. He's part of my family I want him as part of ours...." Brad oddly overly eager to forgive. Scott stewing. BG James asking Bob and Steve to take shell shocked Chilly Willy into the home..."Dad I know..we all know I used to bring drug casualties into the home every week...some of them stole from us...some of them damaged the house, the stairs, the car...there was Juve...but I was having hard times. Family supports family in hard times. But Chilly here isn't a drug casualty. He's a war casualty. Dad you served you know. Not all of us return as fighting firemen. You remember Bugsy..not all of us return whole. We all remember what I was like when I came back. Your all my family but Chilly see he's been my homeboy..and I want him to be everybody's homeboy. So Steve I ask you first will you accept Chilly as your homeboy?" BG James makes this compelling I just wish there was someone else in this angle that could keep up with him.

-Kip James vs. Jeff Jarrett actually fucking worked. What the fuck? Last week I wrote about the AMW as heel formula where AMW start the match backing off eating hot offense from faces then AMW attack face from behind or double team to regain control. Jarrett does the opposite in his singles match as he starts off trying to take advantage of face (attacking before the bell) before face gets a chance to get self composed and ready. Tries to keep face out of ring face eventually gets the match in ring and gets self composed takes control...then Jarrett runs afraid bailing and backing off. For Jarrett's formula to really work he really needs to be matched up against a technical wrestler in a ring jacket that way they can do the whole face attacked mid removing ring jacket spot. Or I imagine the new Coach/Styles/Lawler announce team will lead to Lawler being fired and Lawler is really great at the face who is slow starter formula which would probably pair up nicely with Jarrett's brawling early begging off late stuff. All of Jarrett's offense looked great. His punch to James when draped accross rope was sweet. They blow the Jarrett misses running charge and ends up crotching himself spot and Jarrett does a great job covering it selling a pulled muscle in upper thigh area. Gunn does his short punch against barrier which is one of the punches he can actually execute, runs through his signature offense Stinger splash, fameasser, etc. And instead of having the match built around moving from one of Gunn's pieces of offense to the next ...he just runs through all of them in a row while Jarrett begs off. Jarrett kicks out of secondary finisher at two and then bails out of ring before chance to get hit with the "I'm Kip James B*tch". And really only escapes due to cheating. Better than it had any right being and the match of the show.


-I complain a bunch about when matches come back from commercial breaks and we have no idea how the guy who is in control when we return transitioned into control...well that wasn't going to be a problem in this match. Tenay explains that the X -division isn't about hatred and heat it's all about the "spirit of competition". Meanwhile the crowd is doing dueling chants and Styles and Sabin are doing mirror spots into indy face off into a commercial break "spirit of competition"indeed. And we return and we're still doing mirror section standoffs dueling chants spirit of competition. You could have put the commercial break anyplace in this match and you wouldn't have noticed the difference or cared. Mike Tenay "This is what the X division is all about". Yep X division is all about being caught in an endless mirror section-standoff. Tenay points out that if Sabin does well in this match he could be "ready to break out in the X Division". Sabin had the belt in this wrestling as competitive gymnastics division for what 6-7 months uninterupted...but all he needs to do is hit his jumps smooth and maybe he'll break out? I guess if the matches are devoid of story or drama one can't expect Tenay to recognize the matches Sabin won as being any different than the ones he lost. When the matches in a division are meaningless than having the longest title reign in division is equally devoid of meaning and you're still just a guy who might "break out". I did like the finish to this match and maybe if these two guys were competing in a fed that priviledged storytelling they might have a good match building toward that finish. This wasn't it. Outside of the finish this match really sapped my will.

-Wowza was that the least gritty "look at this guys gritty background" video package ever? I mean Detroit. De-fucking-troit!!! It shouldn't be hard to find depressing shots of urban decay and neglect in Detroit. Instead they do a birds eye view of shockingly clean empty abandoned lots that leave the viewer going "wow that sure is a lot of picturesque open space." Rhino tells me his life was so tough "My mother had to work...wait wait it's not the fifties anymore...she had to work two jobs...wait it's 2005 everyone works two jobs...she had to work three or four jobs that's the ticket. Look where I trained had exposed beams...EXPOSED was tough and gritty like a Chipolte restaurante." I don't understand what kind of idiot booker would watch the first year of ROH and decide to copy the "you violated the code" angle and not the "all that's left of my childhood hangout is this rubber chicken".

-UGGH. GAWD is Gail Kim useless. I could understand using Kim if it was an attempt to leverage Doug Basham into leaving WWE…but couldn’t you leverage him with, you know offers of money or a push. TNA is located in Orlando!!!! They are an hour away from Gainesville. Have they surveyed the local community colleges. They are brimming over with fake titted Koreans whose only goal in life is to bartend in Panama City. You got to figure some of those girls are in the theatre department and can actually semi act. Even if they can't act..I imagine they can do better than Gail Kim's line reading. I mean it's Florida. I mean I realize they had a hard time finding good shots of decay in Detroit but still. Urban blight is to Dertroit what fake titted girls are to Florida. Hooters started in Clearwater Florida. There are as many Hooters in Florida as their are Starbucks in the Northeast. I'm sure there are at least 15 Annie Kims who can half convincingly say "you guys seem really cool. I'm so glad you guys came in. Everyone else here today was really boring" and yet they are paying Gail Kim to struggle to say "Christian Cage you made the worng choice". If Gail Kim is working for free then I could see justifying it. But otherwise it's Florida I'm sure there are a ton of bars who would pay to provide TNA with eye candy...Don West is an ex home shopping guy I know he could squeze in the plug..." No not like this !!!Damn that Jenny Kim, who can be seen tending bar every Thursday at Da Party Shack... girls 18 and over, boys 21 to enter. Friday's is foam night."

-Hellvis? Hellvis? He better be teaming with Memphistopheles. Monte Brown vs. Hellvis wasn't as good as Shark Boy vs. Disgraceland. None of the matches on the show were as good as Shark Boy vs. Disgraceland. Hey isn't Luther Biggs based out of Florida? C'mon I'm tired of being forced to compliment Jeff Jarrett matches as being best matches on the show... BRING BACK DISGRACELAND!!!!
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Brian P. Dermody
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#2 Posted on 30.11.05 1647.00
Reposted on: 30.11.12 1648.10
I, for one, could not believe how good B.G. James was on the microphone. This was the first work of his I've seen since he was in Road Ass.

Sure, they could get sexy lady who's not working Up North. But why not use one who's a known commodity? You expect them to go find Kimona Wanaylaya? I mean, Jade Chung is the choice Asian babe in wrestling at this point, but there it is.

Samoa Joe and a bloody towel is the coolest visual in wrestling right now.

(edited by Brian P. Dermody on 28.7.10 2127)
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#3 Posted on 30.11.05 1846.46
Reposted on: 30.11.12 1846.53

    For Jarrett's formula to really work he really needs to be matched up against a technical wrestler in a ring jacket that way they can do the whole face attacked mid removing ring jacket spot.

I love that spot ... Benoit needs to bring back the WCW style vest when he goes to TNA.
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#4 Posted on 4.12.05 1314.52
Reposted on: 4.12.12 1315.13
This isn't really a new sentiment or anything, but I hate how JJ is portrayed in TNA.
He does the whole 'I'm the heel, management is against me, trying to screw me deal' which is fine if the audience isn't primarily smart mark.

I mean, HHH isn't portrayed like he can't get a break. He's portrayed like he can bully anyone into giving him anything.
It's a subtle play on the real life.

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#5 Posted on 4.12.05 1340.21
Reposted on: 4.12.12 1340.32
Don't forget that all the ladies want to sex Double J. I can't wait until Dawn Marie shows up to give birth to Jesse Jarrett.

As a pre-emptive dismissal of "he's just another performer, Scott D'Amore calls all shots," according to both the Observer and Torch, Jeff has as much say-so as ever these days.
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