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The 7 - One Question... - The stupidest/oddest thing you've ever overheard...
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Leroy
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#1 Posted on 9.11.05 1853.09
Reposted on: 9.11.12 1853.22
Not that I'm condoning eavesdropping, but I have a few while simply minding my own business.

As a graduate student walking near two undergrads across campus:
"You know, I've decided to focus on school this quarter, I just hooked up with way too many guys last year."

The blonde sorority girl on the cell phone behind me at the ATM:
"Nothing... just 'bout to mail some shit to my bitch-ass friend."

The guy with odd facial hair leaving the bar with his friends:
"No! I'm not going to another bar tonight. I have $5 and I owe child support!"
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Tribal Prophet
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#2 Posted on 9.11.05 2149.48
Reposted on: 9.11.12 2152.23
Jesus, you wouldn't believe some of the questions we get (fairly regularly) at work. One of my favorites is:

"Which drink is bigger, the large or the small?"

At this point, I actually call other staff over and ask the customer to repeat it because no one ever believes me.


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PeterStork
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#3 Posted on 9.11.05 2202.46
Reposted on: 9.11.12 2203.34
At Comerica Park, Tigers/Brewers, 2001:

    Originally posted by Lady Eight Rows Up in the Third Base Line Box Seats
    When is halftime?
JST
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#4 Posted on 9.11.05 2224.32
Reposted on: 9.11.12 2226.13
Ring rat, asking my ref colleague:

"So, who are you playing against tonight?"
Deputy Marshall
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#5 Posted on 9.11.05 2247.00
Reposted on: 9.11.12 2247.35
If it weren't for my horse...


Actually, it was probably when I worked at the Information Desk at the college I was attending, which also doubled as the box office. We put up a huge notice (right in front of where I was sitting) that said tickets were sold out. You wouldn't believe the number of people that would come up to me, look at the sign, then say "are you sold out of tickets?"

And no, it wasn't just the making conversation "out of tickets, huh?" It was genuine inquiries as to whether or not we still had any left to sell.

(edited by Deputy Marshall on 9.11.05 2355)
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#6 Posted on 10.11.05 0043.11
Reposted on: 10.11.12 0043.42
    Originally posted by Deputy Marshall
    If it weren't for my horse...


    Actually, it was probably when I worked at the Information Desk at the college I was attending, which also doubled as the box office. We put up a huge notice (right in front of where I was sitting) that said tickets were sold out. You wouldn't believe the number of people that would come up to me, look at the sign, then say "are you sold out of tickets?"

    And no, it wasn't just the making conversation "out of tickets, huh?" It was genuine inquiries as to whether or not we still had any left to sell.

    (edited by Deputy Marshall on 9.11.05 2355)


I'll throw in another story here when our restaurant was closed for a few days for renovations. We had the windows and walls all plywood-ed up like a hurricane was coming (middle of the summer in Winnipeg) with big notices on all the boards saying "CLOSED FOR RENOVATIONS! OPEN AGAIN TUESDAY!"

Our workmen said they had people pulling the plywood off the door, coming into the store, pushing their large tools and live wires out of the way (There was nothing in the store but tools, 3 inches of dust and boards. Industrial wiring was hanging from every tile in the ceiling, the place looked like a wrecking ball had hit us 50 or 60 times. I cannot describe enough what the store looked like) and asking them if they were open. Some didn't even ask "Are you open?", they just walked up to the 300 pound smoking and sweating contractors, and started ordering without blinking an eye. The guys would say "We're not fucking open! Fuck off!" and EVERY single time, the person would take a step back, look around and notice they were in a warzone, and then ask "Are you guys closed?"


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DarkRenegade
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#7 Posted on 10.11.05 0119.54
Reposted on: 10.11.12 0119.54
My mother is responsible for two of the stupidest things I've heard.

Situation one: It was a few years ago, and we were up at the hospital waiting for the x-rays to see how bad my scoliosis was. So, we were getting breakfast, and this woman is yelling "HOT CEREAL AND COFFEE!". Mom goes up to the woman and asks her "Is this where the coffee is?".

Situation two: My mother wanted to send a resume to this employer for her (now) ex-boyfriend. However, she didn't want to send it from her own e-mail and didn't know the password for her ex's e-mail. So once I tell her that I can't help her unless she knows his password, she asks me if there's a way to send the e-mail from her ex's account without knowing his password.
dwaters
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#8 Posted on 10.11.05 0656.35
Reposted on: 10.11.12 0658.50
    Originally posted by Tribal Prophet
    Which drink is bigger, the large or the small?"


Wow, Tribal.
Do they ever catch on to the stupidity of their question?
Too bad you couldn't videotape it.

Your renovation story blew me away as well.

I can't think of any great examples, but the best place to overhear stupid uninformed comments unfortunately is a live wrestling show. It makes your "smart" ears bleed.
Things like:
"I hope Hulk Hogan shows up tonight" (Heard at a WWF show when he was in WCW)
"The Warrior too. Too bad he died".

As far as missing signs, (like SOLD OUT). We have an EZPass toll system on the Maine Turnpike. Big purple signs.
EZPass lane 100 feet. EZPass lane 50 feet. Above the toll lane and booth itself EZPass ONLY. Yet, without fail, an out-of-state and sometimes in-state car gets to the booth, realizes they're in the wrong lane and BACKS UP, with cars coming toward them to get where they're supposed to be.
Mr. Boffo
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#9 Posted on 10.11.05 0731.56
Reposted on: 10.11.12 0737.43
Yeah, our store has two enterances. When it gets dark we close one of them to make things simpler for the closer. It seems like people never read the "Door Closed, used other door" sign on the side door until they've tried to pull it. And sometimes they'll still go "Did you know that door was locked?" Actually I didn't. I guess someone came around and locked it and then put a sign up telling everyone.
rinberg
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#10 Posted on 10.11.05 0939.25
Reposted on: 10.11.12 0939.37
Looooooooooong years ago, when I worked in fast food, I always enjoyed laughing at the number of customers that would order a hamburger with cheese. When the cashier would mention cheeseburger, some of them even went so far as to say "No, I want a hamburger with cheese." o~O

Most others that I could tell involve missing signs.
Rudoublesedoublel
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#11 Posted on 10.11.05 0940.45
Reposted on: 10.11.12 0942.04
This is actually second hand, but....

I work at a bank. A customer had overdrawn their checking account. When informed of this, they said "What do you mean I'm overdrawn? I still have checks left!"
dunkndollaz
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#12 Posted on 10.11.05 0946.08
Reposted on: 10.11.12 0947.26
Stupidest thing I have ever heard came from my own two lips. No less 30 minutes after our first child was born I asked my wife, "Honey, when are they going to circumcise her?"

It's been 7 1/2 years and my wife & daughter still won't let me forget it.
CRZ
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#13 Posted on 10.11.05 0948.22
Reposted on: 10.11.12 0959.01
Technically, this isn't a question.

My wife gets the RSS feeds from http://overheardinnewyork.com/ AND http://overheardintheoffice.com/ and always shows me spectacularly funny entries from there.
whatever
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#14 Posted on 10.11.05 1035.02
Reposted on: 10.11.12 1036.37
From my sister, while we were watching a football game:
"How many quarters are there?"
Stilton
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#15 Posted on 10.11.05 1249.39
Reposted on: 10.11.12 1250.33
In a bookstore, a woman wanted a book about dinosaurs for her son. While she was looking at the books, she remarked, "All of these have drawings of dinosaurs. Don't you have any with actual photographs."
AWArulz
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#16 Posted on 10.11.05 2105.57
Reposted on: 10.11.12 2108.11
Mine's from me as well. I was at my wife's Uncle Pete's farm and he had a lot of sheep. I was confused or whatever - and I asked him if they milked them by hand or used a machine.

That old man never let me live it down. He was a nice old guy, but knew how to push a joke along.
Oliver
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#17 Posted on 11.11.05 0930.05
Reposted on: 11.11.12 0936.42
I still hear it today...

"The Big Show is Andre's son."
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#18 Posted on 11.11.05 1003.53
Reposted on: 11.11.12 1005.01
This just happened a few days ago.... I was near the front of my office and a custodian-type-person buzzed in. Our receptionist was away for the moment (which was quite clear because you could see there was nobody at the desk).

Custodian guy points to the desk and says: "Is there anybody there?"

I joke: "Yes, she's just invisible right now."

So the guy -- and I am NOT MAKING THIS UP -- walks over the desk, slides a clipboard over to where the receptionist would be if she was actually there, and says "Hi there" to her.

I had to leave the front area or I would have bust a gut laughing. I dunno, I must have a trustworthy face or something....
Mr Heel II
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#19 Posted on 11.11.05 1247.15
Reposted on: 11.11.12 1247.38
While managing an overnight cable TV customer service center, I heard one of my reps take an order for a pizza and tell the caller it would be there in thirty minutes or less.

"I get about one of those calls a month," she said.
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