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The 7 - Pro Wrestling - RAW 10/10/05
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ekedolphin
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From: Indianapolis, IN; now residing in Suffolk, VA

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#1 Posted on 10.10.05 2212.52
Reposted on: 10.10.12 2217.56
Well, last week after the incident with the McMahons (which *I* thought was funny), Vince said someone was getting fired. Triple H turned on Ric Flair, and RAW might have some things to say or do to SmackDown.

Thirty seconds of dead space, and we get the The Power is Back start again, followed by a rehash of last weeks WWE Homecoming show. One of the advantages of going back to two hours this week is, my fingers wont hurt so much at the end of the night.

Apparently the only thing important enough to show video footage of right now is Austin attacking the McMahons. Vince, Shane and Stephanie, I can agree with. Linda was uncalled for.

Someones getting fired over this, Vince says, and my moneys on Eric Bischoffbut I think that would be a bad call. Bischoffs been brilliant in his role as RAW General Manager, even if the stuff vs. Cena is stupid.

We open, and Stephanie McMahon comes down to the ring. I liked her better with darker hairnow shes Just Another Blonde. And were in Corpus Christi, Texas, by the way.

Steph: The McMahon family personifies WWE. Last week was supposed to be our big night, raws homecoming on USA. And it was ruined by one manStone Cold Steve Austin, you got it! Stone Cold embarraseed and humiliated us, he stunned my entire family, he stunned {} Ther was even a poll on WWE.com, who was your favorite McMahon family member to be stunned, it was me, you got it!

Stephanie doesnt understand why, but she gets that weve been telling her for a long time that we dont like herbut its because were jealous, she has everything and we have nothing. The women are jealous because of her good looks and great brain, and the fact that she was born with a silver spoon in her mouth. And the men are intimidated because of her money, her beauty and of the fact that she has bigger balls than every man in the arena. I hope she doesnt show them to us.

But we aint seen nothing yether name is Stephanie McMahon, and shes Vinces daughter, meaning she can do whatever she wants. She then goes off on a techie for trying to give her some kind of a cue, and threatens to fire him, but slaps him instead. Then she goes to Lillianyou disapprove? She slaps her too. And then she throws a cameraman around. My father is on his way to the arena right now, and somebodysomebody is gonna get fired!

She looks like shes gonna leave, but she instead goes to the announcersthats right, you stand up in my presence. Help me on this table. I bet all you think Im a bitch, huh? I bet all you think Im a bitch, huh? Thats rightthe bitch is back. Oh, joy. Did last week signify the return of the Crazy McMahon Saga?

And I realize Im supposed to shut off my brain when Im watching RAW, lest my suspension of disbelief alarm should go off. But if the techie and Lillian decided to sue for assault, its right there on camera and witnessed by tens of thousands of people in the arena and millions watching on TV.

I know, if I got pissed about *that* every time, itd be a pretty long show.

As we start coming back, we see a Self-Destruction of the Ultimate Warrior DVD promo.

And the next person to come out is, of all people, Doink the Clown. What the hell?! Hes going to be taking on Rob Conway, and apparently last week signified the start of Conway taking on every mid-level WWF Superstar of the past twenty years.

Conway comes out singing his song and looking more like Buff Bagwell than ever before. Doink plays with the crowd for a awhile, pointing at Conway who gets booed, and to himself who gets cheered. Doink gets a couple of near-falls with roll-ups, and almost pulls off Conways tights with a sunset flip. Then the playing with the crowd thing again, and uh-oh, Conway takes off the shades. Conway goes for a kick, Doink catches him, pokes him in the eyes and kicks him in the butt. Whip denied with a hard clothesline, and now Conway starts kicking the hell out of Doink and choking him. He gets him in the corner, kicks him some more, chokes him, gets him in the center of the ring and hits a neckbreaker. Whip into the corner, reverse elbow by Doink, but Conway hits the Ego Trip and gets the three. Geez, its odd to see Doink.

Attention so-called WWE Legends. Youre no different than Doink hereyoure a joke! Now look at me. You know what you see? The Con Man, Rob Conway. Future WWE Hall of Famer.

Conway puts the mike down and continues beating on Doink, but the crowd pops and here comes Conways old friend Eugene, who starts wailing on him. But he makes the mistake of turning his back on Conway to check on Doink, and Conway rushes back in, sneak-attacks him and hits the Ego Trip on Eugene, too.

LORDS OF THE RING EXPLODE!

They talk about the fact that somebodys going to get fired tonight, and Coach says that its gonna be JR, but immediately protests that I dont really wanna see it. Nice try. JR says hes just here to do his job, a job he loves more than anything, and they roll the footage of the Triple H-related incidents from last week, while playing the requisite Oh my God, shocking swerve~! music for a swerve that, you know, everybody saw coming. I mean, its to the point where were naturally wired to think of Triple H as the bad guy, and so him *not* turning on Flair would have been shocking. Or maybe Flair should have turned on *him*. I dunno.

Were back and its time for Carlitos Cabana!

CCC: First off, I would like to let Stephanie McMahon and her family know that last week, had Carlito known what was going on, he would have come right down and spit in Steve Austins face. Now tonight's Cabana is not about whos getting fired, its about who should be #1 contender for the WWE Championship. Now everyone saw the iron man match last week, but what we didnt see was a winner. It was a tie. Which is why tonight on this Cabana

[Kurt Angles music plays, and Kurt comes out, still wearing that goofy-ass looking mouth guard, which thankfully he takes off halfway down the entrance ramp.]

KA: No one saw a winner? What the hell match were you watching? Everyone saw me kick the living *hell* out of Shawn Mich

[And here comes Shawn with the rebuttal.]

HBK: Did you say clear? Did you say you made it clear? Because to me nothing could be more *un* clear. Last week, after we tied, I gave you an opportunity for sudden death. And you walked! Now, that tells me one of two things: either you dont wanna be the WWE Champion, or you dont want any more of HBK. [The crowd cheers.] Clearly.

KA: You think Im scared of you? Im not scared of anybody! And Shawn Michaels, you should be scared of losing your damn job, because Vince McMahon knows I carry this company. I am RAWs meal ticket. The last time I was WWE Champion when RAW was on USA Network the WCW went out of business. SO I dont give a damn what the score read last week! If anybody deserves to be #1 contender, the choice is me, Kurt Angle, the most vicious

[And well, its the big show. Is this another one of those things thatll lead to a six-way? HBK lounges in one of the chairs and drinks a coconut.]

BS: You know, Ive been patiently sitting in the back waiting my turn ever since I came to RAW. Now seeing you out here kind of gave me an epiphany. You know what that is? Ill get you a dictionary, you can read it later. I realized something. You see when youre a giant, you dont have to wait in line, you just cut in front of it because you can. You see I personally, I would like to have a shot at the WWE Title. And I would like anybody to make my day and tell me I cant.

[And here comes Edge with Lita. Yup, this is the World Entrance Federation.]

AC: You guys must be forgetting something. See, Im the only one with a guranteed title shot in the bank. You see last week I became a Career Killer, so the only thing you should be worried about is whos gonna join Matt Hardy on the unemployment line? You see Im here to stay, and Stephanie, if youre listening, I think you and your dad should freeze all other title shots until Im ready to cash it in.

CCC: You kidding? You didnt even have the guts to come down last week and help us fight SmackDown. No no no, all of us in the ring cant stand each other. But we all agree on two things. One, none of us would mind it if McMahon fired you. And twoif anyone deserves to be #1 contender[Carlito puts his arm around Kurt]its Carlito!

[And the champ is here with a rebuttalpun intended.]

JC: Whoa, whoa, whoa [] we got a ring filled with #1 contenders! HBK, Im scouting you heavy, cuz I know theres no one better. But youre a little too friendly wearing chaps, chains and leather. And gold medal or not, Kurt Angles going south. Forget your mouthpiece, Ill put my piece in your mouth. [The hell does *that* mean?] Big Shows a giant, hes enormous, I can think of a million adjectives, but its just another case of big things with small packages. [Adjectives doesnt quite rhyme with packages.] And Carlito you aint cool. You some Chia Pet pus. And instead of spitting out apples, you should be choking on deez nuts. [Pause for chant.] Litas a slut. Yall should run the other way when you see her. I shook her hand last week and she gave me gonorrhea. And you, you claim youre money in the bank. Edge, you think you know me. Well John Cenas like a pinwheel, so you can go ahead and blow me. You see the champ is HERE! And I never back down, I never quit. If I gotta, Ill fight you all, cuz I just dont give a [Crowd *almost* but not quite yells SHIT!]

Interesting to note that all the heels except Carlito reacted to Cenas insults angrily, while all the faces plus Carlito just kinda grinned and shook it off.

Cena leaves, and backstage we see Trish stretching for her Womens Title defense tonight against Victoria. And Ashleys there as well.

During the break, Maria talked with Eric Bichoff, and weve got a six-man tag-team match. Cena, Michaels and Big Show vs. Kurt Angle, Edge and Carlito in tonights main event.

And now a moment of silent agony as Chris Masters comes out, but at least hes not in the main event, and we get him out of the way relatively early, I hope. And ha, somebody finally attacks Masters during his shitty entrance, with Tajiri sneak-attacking him and beating him up to the ring. Tajiri continues the advantage, and spinning heel kick gets two. Masters tries a spinebuster, Tajiri tries to reverse into a sunset flip but nothing doing. Double-underhook suplex gets two. Tajiri eventually gets the Tarantula on Masters, and hits some punches and elbows on him. Whip into the ropes, Tajiri hits a superkick for two, and Tajiris Kick of Death is evaded into the Master Lock. Tajiri makes a hell of a show like hes gonna break it, but you and I know better. Hey, how come they only raise the arm once on this thing, anyway?

Triple H is backstage, and he walks right into HBK. But not literally.

HBK: You know, nobody in the locker rooms known you as long as I have, and Ive always known youre capable of just about anything, but what you did last week was too much, Hunter. It was too much.

Hunter laughs and walks away, walking past half the locker room, including Viscera, Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch everyones giving him evil looks. But then The Big Show steps in front of him, his arms crossed.

BS: Im telling you right now, some day youre gonna get yours.

Hunter looks considerably more intimidated by Show, walking away backwards, and he almost walks right into John Cena. This marks the very first time John Cena and Triple H are in the same frame on a canon WWE television program, I believe.

JC: [shakes his head] I dont know you, Im not gonna judge you, but after last week, you lost my respect.

I cant tell if he says he lost my respect, or a lotta respect. Either one will do. Hey, I expect errors in translation when Im dealing with an accent from somebody who actually speaks another language!

Hunter walks away, but turns around

HHH: You know if I were you, the last thing Id want to do is get *my* attention, you know what I mean?

JC: You know meif you want some, come GET some.

HHH: Dont you worrywhen I want some, Ill *take* it.

HHH points to the belt as he emphasizes that hell take the *belt*, too, when he wants it. Then he runs into a techie and throws him around. I wouldnt want to be a backstage worker for WWE tonight.

As we come back, we see highlights from last nights No Mercy pay-per-view. What was the point of having LOD defeat MNM for the seventy quadrillionth time, anyway? And spare me the shocked looks at the death of the Undertaker, too.

We come back, and The Game by Motorhead plays as Triple H comes out to the ring, wearing the same clothes he was wearing before the breakblack suit coat, blue shirt, off-blue tie, dress pants and shoes.

HHH: Pretty hostile in the back wouldnt you say? Lot of people got a problem with what Ive donedo you? You gonna pass judgment on me now, huh? You know what, its none of your damn business. This is between two best friends, this is between me and Ric Flair. You people, you care about Ric Flair? Well I worshipped the damn ground he walked on! Nobody was a bigger mark for Flair than me! And make no mistake about itFlair to me was the greatest wrestler in history. Thats why I was so excited when he came here four years ago, I was thrilled until I saw him. When I saw him he was a shell of a man, mentally broken. I picked him up, I gave him back this and I gave him back this. I let Ric Flair bask in my light, [] in my glory, and standing at my right side, Ric Flair appeared to be great again. No, the Nature Boy was back, WOO! Even I started to believe it. Then a month ago when I was sitting home in my time off when I saw him in this ring with spit dripping off his face, with apple dripping off his face, letting people spit on the legacy of Ric Flair. I knew then what I had to do. [Asshole chant.]

[Paraphrasing] Two weeks later, he climbed to the top of the corner, and I knew he was gonna get knocked on his head. But he didnthe flew off with the greatest of ease. And he cheered, you all cheeredFlair cheered because he finally did one thing right. [Back to quoting] Later that night, he held his new trophy above his head, and Ric FlairRic Flairreveled in his newfound mediocrity. While they cheered, Flair, I cried, because it broke my heart to see what you had become. I knew then what I had to do [] I took the horse out behind the barn and I pulled the trigger. Its over. No more limousine-riding, no more jet-flying, no more Nature Boy. But Id be damned if I let somebody tarnish my memories of Ric Flair.

[We Want Flair chants.]

See, thats the thing, you want Flair. You are ready to sign his death warrant. Ric, if youre watching this, sitting at home in Charlotte, trying to pick up the pieces of whats left of your life, dont listen to that. [] Dont let them talk you into doing something you have no business doing. Understand something[more We Want Flair chants] Understand something, to Ric Flair I no longer exist, and without me Ric Flair is nothing. Ric, face the facts, come to terms, you are no longer the dirtiest player in the game. Youre not really in the game anymore, are you Ric? Hell, youre not even a player anymore. Ric, look into my eyes, because for you, the game is over.

JR: This is a sad commentary from one who once idolized the Nature Boy.

Coming back, we see scenes from the new movie Doom starring The Rock, and The Rock is interviewed about it. One of the aliens reminds him of Big Showmassive and stinky. But another reminds him of Lillian Garcia, which we can see amused Lillian when we see her again. Shes even trying not to laugh as she introduces Trish. Champion enters first now?

They wouldnt do the same match from two, three weeks ago with the same result, would they? I should note that Victoria looks a lot like Lita at first glance tonight, and that both women are unaccompanied. Trish gains a quick advantage with a Lou Thesz take down, and a Matrix move gets her a head scissors. Chick Kick denied, but Victorias knocked down againTrish tries the Stratusfaction which is denied. Victoria lifts her up, snap suplex. Vic lifts her up by the hair, and puts her on the top rope. Trish tries to punch her way out, but Victoria lifts her up with a gorilla press slam and drops her down. Victoria torques Trishs back and legs, and its like a Boston crab only Vic isnt actually touching her backshes holding her down with her hair. Victoria gets a two-count, gets pissed at Mickey Jay, and Trish hits a spinebuster, but gets knocked down again before she can capitalize. Here comes the babyface comeback with punches, whip into the corner, but Trish eats a reverse elbow. Victoria goes to the top, tries a Stratusphere, but shes slammed down into a Boston Crab. Trish gets yanked into the middle of the ring, but reverses the Boston Crab into a sunset flip Victoria tries a suplex but eats a Northern Lights suplex for a three. Immediately afterwards Vic sneak-attacks Trish and tries to hit her with the belt, but Ashley comes in to make the saveand then someone *else*, (who I originally think is Gail Kim, but no, shes Caucasian) wearing a red blouse and white skirt, comes in, kicks the HELL out of Victoria, and pummels her with the belt.

And now she acts like a girlish oh my God, Im in the ring with Trish! fan as she hands the belt back to Trish and runs off. But youre not gonna insult me and tell me shes actually just a fan, are you? If she was, security wouldve jumped her before she got anywhere near the ring.

Anyway again Trish and Victoria bring the great wrestling, and for the quadrillionth time I wish there was more to the womens division than there is, no thanks to Vince firing all the other women who can wrestle. Well, if were getting a debuting wrestler today thats something, anyway.

As we come back, we see that Taboo Tuesday is coming Tuesday, November 1. Trish and Ashley are all Who was that? and the girl introduces herself as Mickey James (sp?), whos apparently already signed a contract as WWEs new diva, and is a potential future murderer, being Trishs #1 biggest fan, and having written her a gazillion times and such. I can see where this is going.

Carlito comes out, and the six-man tag match is next, already at 10:20 Eastern? Next week Mick Foley is the guest on the Cabana. Kurt Angle comes out next, and Lawler says that he looked it up, and Angles Olympic gold medal makes him officially exempt from being fired. Edge and Lita come down next, and Edge slides the briefcase into the ring and we go to a split screen, where Vince steps out of a limo in a pinstriped suit. Someone will be fired tonight! exclaims JR, as we go to break.

Itd be just like Vince to fire somebody who had nothing at all to do with the attack on his family. Itd be no more arbitrary than Chris Masters inexplicable push.

When we come back, Shawn Michaels and The Big Show are introduced, and the heels clear the ring when Show enters. Cenas out next. Cena and Edge start for their teams. Tie-up, Cena backed into the corner, but Cena gains the advantage with punches and chokes Edge in the opposite corner. Whip into the corner, Edge with the boot to block the shot. Carlito tags in, and stomps on Cena, slams his head into the turnbuckle, whip into the ropes reversed, Edge hits a back body drop, and Big Show is tagged in. Carlito tries to get the hell outta Dodge but eats a headbutt and chop in the corner Angle comes in and he suffers the same fate. Another chop for Carlito, Edge tries a DDT but hes thrown into the corner. Angle and Carlito follow, and Big Show hits the Ho Train on all three of them, scattering the heels like dust in the wind. They fall out of the ring, and we go to break.

Coming back, Cena has an advantage on Angle, but Angle fixes that quickly with a BTB overhead suplex. Angle drags him up, European uppercuts him in the corner, and Edge is tagged in, continuing to pound Cena in the corner. While the refs distracted, Angle gets some choking in too. Elbows and kicks to the back of the head by Edge, very kicky-punchy right now. Edge slams Cena into the turnbuckle, punches him, headbutts and tags to Carlito, holding him for a kick by CCC. Carlito tries for a suplex, but its reversed into a suplex for Cena. Cena tags HBK, who throws Carlito around, hitting a flying burrito, nip-up, Angle and Edge knocked off the apron, inverted atomic drop, two clotheslines, slam, Macho Man elbow connects, and now its time to tune up the band. HBKs becoming more and more like Bret Hart all the time.

HBK charges up the superkick, which ya gotta do for it to work, but Angle drills him with a clothesline just before he can do it. Carlito gets a cover and two-count. Angles tagged in; he kicks HBK, and begins stomping on him in the corner, including a nasty European uppercut. German Suplex for two, and Angle tries to pin again, getting another near-fall. Now the body-scissors applied by Kurt, and HBKs asking the crowd to back him up here. HBK manages to turn around in the hold, getting into a mount position and he punches Kurt to get out of it. Carlito pulls down the top rope to force HBK to the floor, and then Michaels eats a spear by Edge. Big Shows protesting with the referee, but HBKs in a bad way as we go to break.

We come back, and Angles got HBK in a lot of trouble, but apparently when the camera comes back live, thats HBKs magic cue. He starts a faux babyface comeback, but eventually eats an overhead BTB, and Carlitos tagged in, continuing the beating with a chop and choke in the corner. He stars punching away on him, but HBK comes back, throwing Carlito into the corner, but when he charges him theres no one there and HBK eats ring post with his shoulder. Two-count, and Carlito goes back to the front face lock. HBK gets up from it, Michaels off the ropes, but Carly hits the dropkick and gets a two-count. Carlys getting frustrated now, and re-applies a face lock. The crowd is willing HBK to get up, which he does, and he tries to get a tag to Cena, but cant quite get there so he hits a suplex. You dont think Cena wants in there? Carlito gets the tag to Angle, Michaels gets it to Big Show, and Show begins beating hell out of Angle. Then he grabs both Angle and Edge for a chokeslam, and kicks Carlito who tries to interfere, but a double-clothesline is denied. You cant see me! says Big Show, but he tags Cena instead, who hits his twirlie suplex thingy, you cant see me!, Five-Knuckle Shuffle and a two-count. Edge tries to get involved with a chair, but Show will have none of that. HBK and Carlito clothesline each other out of the ring, Angle applies an Ankle Lock, countered into an Ankle Lock, which is countered into a roll-upand Angle pins Cena!

About time!

Angle makes the I want the belt gesture, heading back up the entrance ramp, as Cenas clearly upset with himself.

Let Us Take You Back to Earlier Tonight, when Stephanie threw everyone around to prove shes got balls, and that Triple H doesnt have a monopoly on stupid random violence.

Vince is WALKING, dig those aquamarine walls, and somebodys getting fired NEXT!

Kane comes back next week, by the wayhow are we gonna get him back fighting Edge in a way that makes sense? (The answerwere not.)

No Chance in Hell plays as Vince McMahon comes down, and we found out on Unlimited that Eric Bischoff *isnt* getting fired tonight. Maybe I should be watching Unlimited from now on, but this is already non-stop typing as it is.

Last week in this very ring Stone Cold Steve Austin did the improbable, hell he did the impossible, he stunned every McMahon family member! That is the only thing in my life that I know of that I will never forget and never forgive. As I was leaving the arena last week, somebody asked me what am I gonna do about this, I said it then, and Ill say it againsomebody, by God, will be fired. Im a man of my word, somebody will be fired tonight. The questions not what, the questions who? Who will be fired? Whos to blame, I know we Americans like to play the Blame Game. Some say the blame goes to Eric Bischoff, some say I should fire his ass.

But hes not gonna fire Eric. Hes going to single out whos to blamethe actual person who committed the acts, Stone Cold Steve Austin. But hes not really gonna blame Austin, nor is he gonna fire him, (because thatd make too much sense). So what person or persons are to blame? The person who enjoyed it the mosthe blames each and every one of us. So hes gonna fire us? OK.

You cause him to do what he did to me and my family! So as a result of that, and as a business man, this is what he wantshe wants each and every one of us to consider ourselves employees of WWE. Just so he can say, YOURE FIRED! Wow, *that* was a big waste of time.

But there were three individuals who were really close to the action, as close to what happened as any of us, and hes demanding that JR, Lawler and Coach get their asses in the ring right now. He lines all three of them up.

Let me lay it out for you okay? Last week Im here with my family, I get stunned what do you do? Not a damn thing. Vince isnt pissed, cuz he can take it, hes rugged. Hes not pissed about Shane, either. But hes pissed that they didnt intervene on behalf of Stephanie, and absolutely outraged that they didnt intervene to help Linda. I worship the ground that woman walks on. All three of them should be ashamed of themselves, and now he wants an apology, and their jobs depend on this answer.

Coach, are you man enough to apologize to me and my family? Mr. McMahon, I am so sorry for what happened to you last week. Ill admit itIm a coward. But Im not, and Ill never be as brave as you are. Sir, you are an inspiration, and I thank God that youre all right. Lawler: I know what its like to be stunned by Steve Austin, and its certainly no fun, so if apologizing to you and your family means I keep my job, then Im sincerely sorry. But you know JR aint gonna apologize.

You gonna apologize to me JR, huh? JR: Im really sorry that your wife got stunned. Vince: Well thats just not good enough for me, good ol JR. You dont give a damn about these people, do you? JR: Im still sorry your wife got stunned. VM: I want an apology. JR: I apologize. VM: I accept your apology, thanks very much [but hes not done with him yet.]

He demands that he apologize to his kids, and brings out Stephanie, the most beautiful woman in the entire world. Stephanie: JR, apologize to *me*. VM: You people shut your mouth right now! Stephanie: Apologize or get fired. JR: Im sorry your momma got stunned. I dont have any other choice dad and she slaps him. Now Shanes gonna come down and plant an elbow into JRs black heart, but instead we get Linda.

And Linda doesnt look pleased at whats been happening. JR holds the ropes for her, kinda, as she comes out. Vince is all Weve got this, but Linda grabs the mike. Well, Vince, as your devoted wife, and Steph as your mother, I simply cannot let the two of you continue this way. Last week, when we returned to USA Network, it was a wonderful opportunity for a new beginning for the entire McMahon family. It was a chance for a clean slate. The only way to garner respect for people is not, Vince, by yelling and screaming, or Steph, by pitching a fit. Its by taking action. She turns to JR, a hand on his arm. So, JRon behalf of the entire McMahon family And I realize just before she says anything that shes gonna turn heel! Youre fired! Holy shit. Vince and Steph smile, and the crowd isnt pleased by this. Then she kicks him in the nuts, very unconvincingly, and Vince and Steph applaud at the sight of JR down. Youre fired JR, you heard it, youre fired!

Lawler: I dont know what to say, I cant believe what we just witnessed. JR is fired. Fade to black.

DASCOOL: Trish and Victoria bring the awesomeness again, as usual. The six-man tag-team match was very good. John Cena and Triple H share a screen for the first time, is that a preview of WrestleMania 22? And the six-man was pretty good.

YOU SUCK!: Linda's weak-ass kick in the nuts-- I can't imagine that even hurt. Conway's apparent quest to beat the hell out of the WWE Legends can't end well. And Tajiri only appears on RAW if he's going to lose, and while I'm not as pissed about him losing to Masters as I was a couple months ago, it's still a horrible waste of a talented wrestler.

WHAT?!: What was the point of Linda's heel turn, anyway? And why's WWE continuing to plug The Rock's movies when he hasn't been on WWE television in so long? Hell, he didn't even show up for WWE Homecoming.

[Edit: Added the "DASCOOL, YOU SUCK! and WHAT?!" comments. That's what I get for rushin' to finish the thing.]

(edited by ekedolphin on 11.10.05 0034)
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Mr Shh
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#2 Posted on 10.10.05 2218.58
Reposted on: 10.10.12 2218.58
Stephanie gave one very good promo tonight. She was such a good speaker - all of her words came out so naturally and with no flubs. Her voice didn't even annoy me. But you know what? I don't remember any call for her to come back as an on-screen character. She's been off TV for *two* years...if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

So for Taboo Tuesday, we're gonna get to vote on which legend faces Conway, right? And everybody's gonna jump for joy when it turns out to be Dusty Rhodes after WWE subliminally gets the masses to vote for him, right?

The Cabana...it's "WEF Homecoming." There were some excellent reaction shots here, most notably Carlito's spit take. Another gold star for Carlito for calling out Edge for not helping out last week. Cena breaks out the R-rated rap, but he really needs his girl to give him some oral sex.

Triple H's walk down the hallway was top-notch.

Triple H on Ric Flair: It's none of your damn business, but I'll explain it to you anyway, and I'll be painstakingly detailed about it. But damn if that wasn't some awesome explanation.

Linda McMahon...riiiight. That was soooo effective. So effective that the entire audience fell dead silent when she came out. If your audience sees it coming *that* far ahead, it can't be much effective. Really, really stupid.

Most of the show kept my attention, so overall, it was a win.
Kane Is Ugly
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#3 Posted on 10.10.05 2223.31
Reposted on: 10.10.12 2226.57
I laughed at Linda's nut shot to JR. That was some Benny Hill type shit right there. Classic. Ya know, I don't think there is a single bit of difference between HEEL Linda and FACE Linda. No one gives a shit either way.

At least we got some DOINK tonight. I wonder who was playing the part of Doink. I swore it was Eugene, but then he came in for the "save", so I guess it was some random local jobber.
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#4 Posted on 10.10.05 2223.33
Reposted on: 10.10.12 2227.03
Wow. I was hoping last week wasn't going to signify the return of the McMahon's, but Steph's speech seems to make me think I'm wrong. What position will she have on RAW though, in regards to Bischoff?....Doink? Okay, I'm a mark for this kind of nostalgia. Whoever was Doink was not a normal Doink- looked a little out of shape, and aside from the "boo...yay!" part, the match stunk. I hope we see Damien Demento next week....

I think everyone assumed JR wouldn't get fired, since they brought it up early on. I know I did....I know Cena is catering to the 14-year old boys, but what's with the constant gay jokes? I mean, did he threaten to put his unit in Angle's mouth? Doesn't THAT seem kinda gay?....Masters/Tajiri was okay, and if they wanted to put Chris in a feud with Tajiri, that'd be fine by me....

I liked the confrontations with Trips backstage....And even his interview wasn't as boring as usual....Trish/Victoria was okay. I believe the new girl is Alexis Laree. Now I know why I heard JR call Mickey Jay by a different last name earlier- prolly sounded too much like "Mickie James"....The six-man was decent, but not outstanding....The main-event interview was saved by Coach. I thought the cop-out of Vince firing the fans was dumb, but luckily, the actually fired SOMEONE.
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#5 Posted on 10.10.05 2225.19
Reposted on: 10.10.12 2227.44
Wow.

Just wow.

As bad as parts of last week's RAW were, it's been a long time since I've seen segments as brutally bad as tonight's. The first half-hour, in particular (Stephanie McMahon-Levesque/Return of Doink), reminded me of WCW Thunder. (OMEGA can't be happy.)

Beyond that...

Matches that dull - with endings visbile at the beginning of the match - belong online, not on RAW.

HHH wasted Flair because he thought he was mediocre? If that were the standard for maulings, most of the locker room should be bathed in blood. And, contrary to his opinion, HHH didn't take Flair behind the barn and shoot him - he rode him through town, chopping at him with an axe. How exactly does that preserve our good memories of Flair?

Another Diva - just what we needed.

The main event squanders its' energy by having Cena lose on a schoolboy.

Now Linda's evil too, huh? I can't blame Shane for not wanting to get involved in that mess.

The crowd sat on their hands most of the night, and I can't blame them. There was really nothing to cheer.

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#6 Posted on 10.10.05 2226.03
Reposted on: 10.10.12 2227.54
No, not that. Anything but that. The return of "Dominant Female" Stephanie McMahon. Just as I was telling people how much fun the show used to be, and how I guess I watch it more out of habit than anything and this might be nearing the end of my Monday Night Rasslin' run, the WWE decides the answer is... Steph Can't Act(tm CRZ)?!?!?! Ye gods.

Was the sound mix for Raw really low for anyone else? Some of the commercials on USA and the sound for the Angels-Yankees and Monday Football were much louder, and would be a huge difference when I flip channels. Anyone? Bueller?

We finally get Alexis Laree on Raw, and with the tried-and-true "Stalker of the Women's Champ" angle, which I will confess I have a soft spot for. But man, she looks somehow... different. Maybe she knows Jillian Hall's doctor?
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#7 Posted on 10.10.05 2226.31
Reposted on: 10.10.12 2229.01
WWE Unlimited starts with Lilian coming to the ring. She high-fives around the ring, then steps into the ring. She mouths the words to her song a little bit. She sings the national anthem. then encourages the crowd in a USA chant.

Out comes Good Ol' Jr, Jerry "The King" Lawler, and finally Jonathan Coachman, each to their own music. The Coach comes out to boos. And we fade to black.

And Raw proper opens with a recap of last week, or at least the Stone Cold saga. And Vince's parting words "Someone is going to be fired."

The credits roll, and out comes The Half Billion Dollar Princess, Stephanie McMahon. Apparently she's out because she had the highest percentage in the WWE Poll "Which McMahon stunner did you enjoy the most?" Why couldn't you people have voted for Shane?

She paraphrases Sable's sayings, then tells us "I have bigger balls than any man in this arena." Yeah, but have you seen Chyna's clitoris? She yells at the stage manager for daring to tell her to wrap it up (should have played music instead), then slaps him, then slaps Lilian, then shoves the cameramen. I think I saw this episode of Cops.

She walks up the ramp, then makes her way over to the announce table. She stands on it and tells the crowd "The Bitch Is Back!"

Todd Grisham comes to the ring as part of WWE Unlimited, asking the Corpus Christi crowd who is going to be fired. Most think JR (one calls him "the fake cowboy"), but a few think Eric Bischoff. One guy tells Todd Grisham that he's the one who's going to be fired.

We come back to TV Raw, and it's ... Doink? Doink vs Rob Conway in what we found out later was a challenge made by the Con Man to anyway WWE Legend. Conway wins via the Ego Trip, and it sounds like this may become an ongoing thing (legends losing to Rob Conway). That makes Rob a good WWE Fantasy pick. He beats down on Doink after the match, and Eugene comes out to save Doink. He gets Conway out of the ring, turns down to Doink, and gets hit by Conway, who came back into the ring. He gets an Ego Trip for his trouble, and Conway makes his way up the ramp.

Previously on Raw, Triple H killed Ric Flair. And they videotaped it. Some Cerebral Assasian, he didn't even destroy the evidence.

During the break, Carlito's Cabana is up next. The magic of the moment is ruined seeing all the workers put it together. Carlito comes out, getting hardly any reaction (crowd must know it's not on TV).

And we're back on TV, where Carlito says this Cabana is all about the #1 Contender. We didn't get a winner last week, so ... Kurt Angle decides to come out. After a little talk, Shawn Michaels decides to join him. He says his piece, and then, out comes the Big Show to offer up a theory. He says he's a giant, so he's going to cut in line for a title shot, because he can. Good thing no one has a guaranteed title shot. Oh wait, out comes EdgeNLita, who invite you to look at their breasts while pointing out that only they have a guaranteed title shot, so Stephanie should freeze any other shots until they decide to use theirs.

Hey, is that five title contenders in the ring? Carlito realizes that he's hosting this segment, and tells Edge that everyone else hopes he gets fired, and also that Carlito should get the title shot. Out comes John Cena for rebuttal. He makes fun of everyone, then says that he'll fight all 5 competitors if he has to. I think that can be arranged.

Maria talks to Eric on Unlimited. She points out all the reasons for Vince to be mad to Eric. Her question then, is, "Do you think Mr. McMahon is going to fire me?" Eric says he's got a 6-man main event for tonight. And you'll never guess who: Edge, Carlito, and Kurt Angle vs. Big Show, Shawn Michaels, and John Cena. Maria responds "So I'm not going fired." Eric responds, "Actually, you are." Maria isn't good at recognizing sarcasm I guess.

Out comes Chris Masters. Tajiri attacks him during his posing. They get into the ring, and the match is on. I wasn't really paying attention, which is good because it was done pretty quick. Tajiri broke out of the Master Lock and won it with that kick thing he does.

HA HA, just kidding.

After the match, Triple H walks down the hall o face challengers. Michaels tells him that he didn't know H could stoop so low. H laughs at him. The Big Show points out that karma's a bitch. John Cena says Triple H lost his respect. Triple H tells him "When I want some, I'll take it."

During the break they show signs. Grisham says that the rumor is that the Coach is into men, so offers for marriage are off.

Smackdown Rebound: We see what happened at No Mercy.

Triple H walks to the ring. I'm sure there's a perfectly resonable explanation for last week. H says while he was out, he realized that Ric Flair doesn't have it anymore. When Flair won the Intercontinental title, he was "reveling in mediocrity." So H says it was his duty to take the horse out back and shoot it, to keep Flair from tarnishing H's memories of him. "For you, Ric, the game is over."

On Unlimited, Edge asks Bischoff if he heard what JBL said about Raw at WWE.com after No Mercy. Edge is especially made that JBL never mentioned him. Bischoff tells him if he wants to be noticed, he should pin John Cena tonight. Then Lita tells Bischoff that she heard a rumor that Bischoff is going to be replaced with Dusty Rhodes.

Back on TV, we get The Rock discussing his new movie, "Doom." Then Trish Stratus makes her way to the ring for a women's title match against Victoria. Hey, isn't the champ supposed to be announced second?

Out comes Victoria, and it's on like Diddy Kong. Trish has added another part to her Matrix move, adding on a back handstand to a head scissors to it. Trish wins with a Northern Lights Suplex. Can we call her the greatest North American women wrestler ever? Victoria attacks her, and Ashley comes bouncing to the ring. Victoria gets the better of her, and suddendly some other woman shows up in the ring and attacks Victoria. She beats Victoria up, then hands the title to Trish. She seems really excited as she walks up the ring. Trish looks ... puzzled.

During the break, Ashley and Torrie and her dog come and help Victoria to the back. Todd Grisham asks them if they know who the mystery woman was. Torrie responds "Who the hell are you?" The point is, they don't know who it is, but she's going to get hers. Looking at OVWrestling.com, my first guess is that it's Alexis Laree. I've already forgotten what the girl looked like though.

Back live, we find out her name is Mickey James, and she's Trish's greatest fan/stalker.

The 6 man is next, because Vince = RATINGS! After Carlito & Kurt Angle & Edge's entrances, we go to commercial once again. Vince has arrived!

On Unlimited, Carlito, Edge, & Kurt Angle discuss things. They deserve a sitcom. They decide to work together for one night only. Kurt tells Edge "No, you can hug Carlito. He's gay"

On TV, Shawn Michaels, The Big Show, and finally John Cena make their way out. A bunch of stuff happens (I missed it), then they go to break.

On Unlimited, the faces take turns beating up Carlito. He gets the upper hand on HBK, then tags in Kurt Angle. The heels get several opportunities to cheat. HBK drives Angle into Cena's boot, then tags him in.

Back live, my TV's in another room from my computer, so I can't write much. Michaels and Carlito in the ring. Michaels hits the flying forearm on Carlito, but Sweet Chin Music is interrupted by a Kurt Angle clothesline. Angle tags in, puts body scissors on Michaels, but Michaels escapes. Carlito then low bridges him out of the ring, where Edge gives him a vicious shot. And another break?

Back online, Big Show helps Michaels into the ring to prevent a countout. Multiple tags, with the heels beating up on Michaels.

Back on TV, more beating up of Michaels. You know nothing important will happen until he can get a tag. He suplexs Carlito, and I think that's the opening he needed. Big Show and Angle tag in. And Show is a house afire. He tries a double chokeslam, but settles for a double clothesline instead. He tags in Cena, who does the Five Knuckle Shuffle on Angle. Goes for the pin, and Angle kicks out. Show and Edge fight outside the ring, Michaels take himself and Carlito out of the ring. Angle puts the Anklelock on Cena, who reverses in an Anklelock of his own. Angle, for his part, rolls through, getting the pin. And ... scene.

Backstage, Bischoff talks to Vince. He asks him what's going on, and Vince says he'll talk about it in the ring. After prodding Vince says that he's not going to fire Bischoff. But he heads to the ring to fire someone else.

Next Monday, Kane is back. And Carlito's guest on the Cabana, Mick Foley.

Vince heads to the ring. and they recap what we already know, that Eric isn't going to be fired.

Vince asks who is to blame for what happened last week. First off, Eric isn't to blame. It's not Eric's fault. The fault lies with one Redneck Bastard, Stone Cold Steve Austin. But he's not going to fire Austin. Instead, he's going to fire the people who got the most satisfaction. That's EVERY ONE OF YOU! Vince proceeds to hire everyone in the crowd, and everyone watching tonight (do we get dental?), and then proceeds to fire them.

But Vince remembers that there were 3 people who were as close as any audience members. That's the 3 people in the announce team, and he demands that they head to the ring. He says that the 3 of them did nothing while he, his son, his daughter, and finally the love of his life Linda got stunnered. So they owe him an apology.

The Coach immediately starts kissing up, telling Vince how sorry he is. The King says if it means keeping his job, then he's sorry. Vince accepts both their apologies. He tells JR to apologize, and JR says "I'm sorry your wife got stunnered." When Vince questions him on this, he says he's sorry. Vince says that isn't enough. JR is going to have to apologize to the other two people backstage who got stunnered. Stephanie comes out, and JR again tells her that he's sorry that her mom got stunnered. She slaps him, but reluctantly accepts his apology. Vince tells Shane to come out as well, but instead we get Linda's music. She heads to the ring. She tells Vince that Raw on USA was a chance for a new start. She also tells him that he can't bully and threaten people. The only way to get respect is to be a person of action. "So JR, on behalf of the entire McMahon family, you're fired." OMG SHOCKING HEEL SWERVE! She then gives JR a kick to the nuts, and Raw goes off.

Aftwards, Unlimited shows the 3 of them dancing their way up the stage. As they get backstage, JR staggers up. He is joined by Todd Grisham. Todd asks him what his thoughts are. "What are my thoughts of being fired Todd? This sucks. I just want to tell you folks I've had 33 years of the greatest time of my life in the greatest business in the world. And when I was a little kid, I became a wrestling fan. And I've been a wrestling fan to this very day. And I'm going to continue to be one. I want to thank you folks for hanging with me, when I had Bell' Palsy twice, when my momma and daddy died. ... All I can say is, for the last time, so long everybody.... The reason I got fired is because Vince McMahon is a no good dirty bastard who doesn't have the balls to fire Stone Cold Steve Austin. And Austin is still one of my best friends, and as far as I'm concerned the McMahon's can go square to hell." He then goes around the ring giving high fives as his music plays. He heads up the ramp, where Lawler is waiting to give him a hug. He accepts their cheers, and heads backstage.
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#8 Posted on 10.10.05 2230.37
Reposted on: 10.10.12 2232.06
Ahh, Mr. ekedolphin...Why no more "DASCOOL" and "YOU SUCK" comments at the end?

For some reason, I too enjoyed Stephanie's opening promo. Her sudden smack to Lillian seemed to be the random bizarreness that Raw was missing.

Doink...just randomly appears...Ooookay?

Enjoyable Raw overall. Decent six-man tag and great promos all around. Was this Mickey Jay's first night? Haven't been paying attention and I didn't catch the JR note, but I saw his face and instantly thought of Nitro.
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#9 Posted on 10.10.05 2237.14
Reposted on: 10.10.12 2238.42
    Originally posted by Juggalo101
    Was this Mickey Jay's first night? Haven't been paying attention and I didn't catch the JR note, but I saw his face and instantly thought of Nitro.

I believe it's his third week.
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#10 Posted on 10.10.05 2238.38
Reposted on: 10.10.12 2239.14
    Originally posted by Alpha Dog
    Was the sound mix for Raw really low for anyone else? Some of the commercials on USA and the sound for the Angels-Yankees and Monday Football were much louder, and would be a huge difference when I flip channels. Anyone? Bueller?



No, I noticed that too. And several of the commercials were louder than the actual broadcast, so I assumed it was some sort of production problem. I just muted the MNF game when I flipped over, which I usually do anyway, thanks to Madden.

I know I'm in the minority, but I always enjoy these McMahon Family segments. I know, they sometimes take too long, and it's time that could be better spent on *wrestling* (how many matches were there tonight? Four?), but that segment just made the show for me. Coach's outstanding groveling, JR trying to be defiant, Vince and Steph being quietly reverent to Linda when she was in the ring, almost like they were children being scolded-it was great. Then came the HEEL TURN (~!) which I saw coming as she was walking down the ramp-I loved it.

I know, I know, I'm part of the problem.

(Also, if they're going to have stuff happen on Unlimited, they should at least save them on the website so you can watch the segments later. Not all of us have a TV near our computer. Or maybe they do, and I just haven't looked hard enough [at all]).
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#11 Posted on 10.10.05 2256.13
Reposted on: 10.10.12 2257.05
I guess I read too many wrestling sights. I read about JR getting fired about three days ago. Just wans't sure who was going to do it. Linda getting stunned was pretty tacky as I always liked her. then this with her firing he one guy who was apologising for her getting stunned. Good thing I always remember it is a script huh? I mean seriously, would you ake getting slapped by the boss and no file a lawsuit?

4 matches tonight. 2 squash matches, an womans championship which was decent and the main event that was not bad. One match every 30 minutes, and hey call it a wrestling show.... Luckily I had a good book to reaed in between the matches.
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#12 Posted on 10.10.05 2305.37
Reposted on: 10.10.12 2306.22
Well, that final angle was heartbreaking. Linda's heel turn could be interesting (and hilarious considering some of her past attempts at acting). But it's really sad to see JR go when I know that Todd Grisham or someone like that is waiting in the wings.

Stephanie was fine in her role tonight. But I think the over-under is 3 weeks until I start yelling at my TV screen to make her disappear.

Not sure who was playing Doink, but he was not good. The "Yay... Boo" stuff was good, but when the wrestling started the man looked terribly green. Where's Matt Borne when ya' need him?

Good to see Cena doing some more R-rated stuff tonight, since it helped him get over originally. But he needs some new material, as every joke revolved around his or his victim's genitals.

Triple H did a great job in making sense of his turning on Ric Flair last week.

I really enjoyed the main-event. RAW should be headlined by an 8-man tag every week, because they always seem to be great.
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#13 Posted on 10.10.05 2312.37
Reposted on: 10.10.12 2312.43
So, Vince hired all the fans and then fired all the fans? Well, where's my severance check? And, what are the eligibility standards for filing for unemployment in Connecticut?
When did Vince and Linda reconcile? Last I remember them together, Vince was celebrating Kane piledriving her.
Elimination Chamber for Taboo Tuesday?
And, since the King is staying on the broadcast, perhaps they should hire another king to be his partner to replace Jim Ross. Yes, the king of the wild frontier, David Crockett.
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#14 Posted on 10.10.05 2331.09
Reposted on: 10.10.12 2331.49
    Originally posted by redsoxnation
    And, since the King is staying on the broadcast, perhaps they should hire another king to be his partner to replace Jim Ross. Yes, the king of the wild frontier, David Crockett.

I'm guessing it'll just be Coach and King.
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#15 Posted on 11.10.05 0012.27
Reposted on: 11.10.12 0013.03
Maybe tonight was Vince's attempt at getting NBC to consider him for another version of The Apprentice.

If they -do- bring in a new announcer, they've guaranteed he'll walk straight into a solid wall of fan hate. So yeah, maybe Coach -- who's hated already -- will be moving up. Having a heel play-by-play announcer and a face color man would feel odd to me, though.

On the other hand, if J.R. comes back after a few weeks with Dr. Death in tow, we'll know they're just recycling 1999 again.

As for the rest of Raw: Vince comes out, I look at the clock and see it's 10, and realize that there hasn't been a match since Doink vs. Conway. That about sums it up.

I'm astonished there was no Smackdown interference on the 6-man tag -- after all, that's exactly the same kind of match Eric ruined for SD last week, so it'd seem like a natural point.

Nice to see Mickie James finally making her debut, though.
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#16 Posted on 11.10.05 0038.10
Reposted on: 11.10.12 0038.44
Why would they call her Mickie James when they've just (apparently) brought on Mickie J. to ref? Are they gonna have to change his name to something different and stupid now so us poor fans don't get confused? (Probably?)

(I keep seeing him on RAW *and* Smackdown, though, so maybe they haven't decided where he'll end up - or he's just filling in for vacationing folk - or or or)
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#17 Posted on 11.10.05 0041.45
Reposted on: 11.10.12 0041.49
On the subject of names, do you all think that they're calling Alexis Laree by "Mickey James" because they can trademark it and everything to do with it? My understanding is that: (1) The WWE wants to own everything now and (2) guys like Chris Benoit or Booker T, who wrestle under their given birth names or a variation therein retain the rights to that name because, y'know, it's theirs by birth. So I'd imagine that they're calling new people by different names (Eugene or Ken Kennedy, for example) simply because they can trademark them from the get-go.

EDIT: Well, shut my mouth. According to Wikipedia, Micki James is her given name. I'd guess they're using that in lieu of Alexis Laree because of her time with TNA, but I can't be sure.

(edited by Freeway420 on 10.10.05 2351)
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#18 Posted on 11.10.05 0050.00
Reposted on: 11.10.12 0051.46
    Originally posted by CRZ
    Why would they call her Mickie James when they've just (apparently) brought on Mickie J. to ref? Are they gonna have to change his name to something different and stupid now so us poor fans don't get confused? (Probably

They already changed Mickey Jay to something else it seems. I know they referred to him as Mickey *something* last night, and it definitely wasn't Jay anymore.
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#19 Posted on 11.10.05 0054.07
Reposted on: 11.10.12 0055.39
    Originally posted by CRZ
    Why would they call her Mickie James when they've just (apparently) brought on Mickie J. to ref? Are they gonna have to change his name to something different and stupid now so us poor fans don't get confused? (Probably?)

    (I keep seeing him on RAW *and* Smackdown, though, so maybe they haven't decided where he'll end up - or he's just filling in for vacationing folk - or or or)

Interestingly J.R. actually called the ref "Mickey Henson" in the Doink/Conway match.
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#20 Posted on 11.10.05 0150.50
Reposted on: 11.10.12 0152.44
I've sort of given up on the great storylines and all that with wrestling. But ya know what people? - it's a lot of fun to root for something retarded to happen. When Vince hired the audience just to fire them, I was hoping that's how the show would end. I would've died laughing and loving it, knowing how horribly it would be received. I don't know....try it sometimes.

Also, Stephanie is huge and it's hot. Don't front.
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