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The 7 - Site Bashing - The Sports Guy reviews Summerslam
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DirtyMikeSeaver
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#1 Posted on 22.8.05 1225.23
Reposted on: 22.8.12 1226.26
Very funny read:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/050822
Promote this thread!
dwaters
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#2 Posted on 22.8.05 1307.16
Reposted on: 22.8.12 1308.53
"Meanwhile, my two pooches (Dooze and Rufus) just had their own wrestling match in the TV room, culminating in Rufus triumphantly humping Dooze while holding a stuffed monkey in his mouth. That's Roofie's thing -- if he's humping someone, he needs a stuffed animal in his mouth. And you know what? We don't judge in our house."

LMAO.
Simmons has really been on a roll lately.
The Vile1
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#3 Posted on 22.8.05 1328.52
Reposted on: 22.8.12 1329.01
This was hilarious. Don't know too much about Bill Simmons, but he seems to know his wrestling quite well.
StaggerLee
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#4 Posted on 22.8.05 1343.41
Reposted on: 22.8.12 1349.39
Three great quotes:

Yep, Benoit used the German suplex and the Crossface to win the title in about five seconds. Good to see the WWE is still practicing the old SD Jones Policy with black wrestlers -- in other words, come out, dance around, lose in under 20 seconds.


The Sports Gal watches a few minutes, notices that half the crowd is rooting for Jericho and half for Cena, then says, "I think I've figured out wrestling crowds -- it's like the Rocky Horror Picture Show, right? You get dressed up, you get into it, and you pretend it's real?" Um, yeah. Pretty much


Here's my theory: We like seeing the Hulkster win matches with the old Hogan Formula for the same reason we like seeing those dopey reunion shows of "M.A.S.H." or the "Brady Bunch" on TV, or those reunion concerts from the Stones or Bruce or the Eagles, or even those handheld video games where you can play Pong and Intellivision baseball and Donkey Kong. Maybe it's the same stuff, and maybe they're not as good as they were, but they still make you feel like a kid again. It's nostalgia on demand.
CRZ
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#5 Posted on 22.8.05 1349.36
Reposted on: 22.8.12 1352.11
You lose by 16 minutes (The W). (post #41 if your postsperpage number is lower than mine)

That Sports Guy, he's really funny. I like when he writes about wrestling because he's really funny. He's a Guy. A Sports Guy. It's always funny when he writes about wrestling because he's writing about wrestling. And it's funny. He's a funny guy. A Funny Sports Guy. And he writes about wrestling.

(edited by CRZ on 22.8.05 1354)
hhhgamewmx7
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#6 Posted on 22.8.05 1359.04
Reposted on: 22.8.12 1359.05
I thought it was quite sad, he should stick to talking about something he actually likes and not trying to be funny.
PsychoticMidget
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#7 Posted on 22.8.05 1517.47
Reposted on: 22.8.12 1517.56
I read Simmons religiously, and with all his drops about HBK-Hogan in his columns before today, I was wondering if we'd get a running diary on it from him. Good stuff.
GoBlues77
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#8 Posted on 23.8.05 0645.02
Reposted on: 23.8.12 0645.47
Out of context from the article

"A furious Undertaker storms off to get a chemical peel and butt implants."

Scary thought...
Alessandro
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#9 Posted on 24.8.05 0949.58
Reposted on: 24.8.12 0952.00
Someone didn't like it ...

PsychoticMidget
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#10 Posted on 24.8.05 0959.22
Reposted on: 24.8.12 0959.35
Ah, Eric S is just a bitter old man who's completely unable to be entertained anymore. If he even ever posessed a sense of humor to begin with.

Feel free to move this post to Site Bashing mods. :p
dwaters
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#11 Posted on 24.8.05 1044.33
Reposted on: 24.8.12 1046.08
Wow, Eric S. gets the Sean Penn award for having absolutely no sense of humor whatsover. Chill out man, it's just a humor column.
I will admit Simmons appears to know more than he lets on about the current product, but it's still funny.
drjayphd
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#12 Posted on 24.8.05 1322.07
Reposted on: 24.8.12 1322.08
Not only that, but he doesn't understand the audience. Simmons isn't writing for us, he's writing for sports fans who stopped paying attention to wrestling back in the heyday of Hogan y Michaels.

(punts)
BigSteve
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#13 Posted on 24.8.05 1407.31
Reposted on: 24.8.12 1407.35
I found this line ironic given how much he chastises Sports Guy for "not doing research" (from the Inside Pulse column):


    Of course, I can say this with impunity because Simmons admits that he doesn't read wrestling websites. If he did, though, you know he's the type who'd just read wwe.com and nothing else.


Actually, Meltzer often links to Simmons columns that mention wrestling, and he almost always says how Simmons is a former Observer subscriber who doesn't watch the TV anymore. Some people who write wrestling columns take themselves way too seriously.

(edited by BigSteve on 24.8.05 1510)
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