#2 Posted on 22.8.05 1307.16 Reposted on: 22.8.12 1308.53
"Meanwhile, my two pooches (Dooze and Rufus) just had their own wrestling match in the TV room, culminating in Rufus triumphantly humping Dooze while holding a stuffed monkey in his mouth. That's Roofie's thing -- if he's humping someone, he needs a stuffed animal in his mouth. And you know what? We don't judge in our house."
#4 Posted on 22.8.05 1343.41 Reposted on: 22.8.12 1349.39
Three great quotes:
Yep, Benoit used the German suplex and the Crossface to win the title in about five seconds. Good to see the WWE is still practicing the old SD Jones Policy with black wrestlers -- in other words, come out, dance around, lose in under 20 seconds.
The Sports Gal watches a few minutes, notices that half the crowd is rooting for Jericho and half for Cena, then says, "I think I've figured out wrestling crowds -- it's like the Rocky Horror Picture Show, right? You get dressed up, you get into it, and you pretend it's real?" Um, yeah. Pretty much
Here's my theory: We like seeing the Hulkster win matches with the old Hogan Formula for the same reason we like seeing those dopey reunion shows of "M.A.S.H." or the "Brady Bunch" on TV, or those reunion concerts from the Stones or Bruce or the Eagles, or even those handheld video games where you can play Pong and Intellivision baseball and Donkey Kong. Maybe it's the same stuff, and maybe they're not as good as they were, but they still make you feel like a kid again. It's nostalgia on demand.
#5 Posted on 22.8.05 1349.36 Reposted on: 22.8.12 1352.11
You lose by 16 minutes (The W). (post #41 if your postsperpage number is lower than mine)
That Sports Guy, he's really funny. I like when he writes about wrestling because he's really funny. He's a Guy. A Sports Guy. It's always funny when he writes about wrestling because he's writing about wrestling. And it's funny. He's a funny guy. A Funny Sports Guy. And he writes about wrestling.
#11 Posted on 24.8.05 1044.33 Reposted on: 24.8.12 1046.08
Wow, Eric S. gets the Sean Penn award for having absolutely no sense of humor whatsover. Chill out man, it's just a humor column. I will admit Simmons appears to know more than he lets on about the current product, but it's still funny.
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#13 Posted on 24.8.05 1407.31 Reposted on: 24.8.12 1407.35
I found this line ironic given how much he chastises Sports Guy for "not doing research" (from the Inside Pulse column):
Of course, I can say this with impunity because Simmons admits that he doesn't read wrestling websites. If he did, though, you know he's the type who'd just read wwe.com and nothing else.
Actually, Meltzer often links to Simmons columns that mention wrestling, and he almost always says how Simmons is a former Observer subscriber who doesn't watch the TV anymore. Some people who write wrestling columns take themselves way too seriously.
(edited by BigSteve on 24.8.05 1510)
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