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#1 Posted on 13.8.05 1807.14 Reposted on: 13.8.12 1807.14
I leave from work and drive straight to the beautiful wasteland of Mathews, VA. I pass the Plankatank Ruritan Club and while finding a place to turn around, notice that DONKS is right up the street. Donks is a bluegrass nightclub that my friend Mike would always go to to see Bill Monroe or Chief Powhatan. I was stoked. I turn around and Phat Ass Dave is wandering around. He notes that the ring isn't even set up yet. I pester him about if the snackbar is open. I notice my friend Steve wandering around with a video camera- as he is shooting a documentary on indie wrestling and was shooting the show for O'Brien to get access to everything or something. My friend Richard is helping him out and this is Richard's first wrestling match ever so this is going to be fucking awesome. Our friend Jesse is also helping out and I say, " fuck it, a man's gotta eat", so Steve has me get them a 12 pack and I head into town to eat at the first Hardee's ever. I get back at like NINE and it hasn't started yet. It all works out though because the hot dogs they ended up serving at the snack bar were so bad that EVEN IIIII didn't like them. I buy a program (it came with a FREE PEN! A FREE PEN!) and pester Dave before finding a seat. The Mathews crowd is fucking awesome. Very much like an old OMEGA crowd- Southern educated wrestling fans who aren't "smarts"- just folks who like to watch an ass-beating and don't put up with any stupid shit. They didn't have entrance music for some reason (my guess- comically bad planning) but it REALLY added to the old school atmosphere. Back in the 70s, a heel would use the walk to the ring to get over his heelishness. When you can actually hear him yelling at the old man at ringside, it's a lot more fun than suffering through a Mudvayne song or something. The idiotic problems this show had getting started all worked out for ME. And that's the big thing.
Pre-tournament, Scotty Blaze and Frank the Tank Parker come out and call out the Old School Empire. Blaze talks shit to Damien Wayne- who he had just beaten for the NWA-VA title and wanted to now who Wayne's mystery partner was. Wayne points to Parker and says, "Right there!" and Tank clotheslines Blaze and the OSE beat the shit out of Blaze and I revel in the glory of Frank the Tank Parker tagging with any of the Old School Empire PLUS the Blaze/Parker Feud that would be ensuing PLUS not having to think of Parker as a face. Fucking beautiful move. Parker rules.
Preston Quinn/ Mike Booth vs Mike Vaughn/ Robert Royal: This was an ass-beating. AN ASS-BEATING. Royal takes it like a man and I notice the Southerness of the crowd. Here, they dig the fact that Quinn and Booth just beat the shit out Royal and don't really give a shit if Vindicator tags in and gets his assbeaten. LATER, the crowd would get REALLY behind Chris Escobar when he takes a far more hellish beating and we all pop like monkeys for his comebacks. That's educated wrestling fans. It gave me hope for the future of this nation. I forget what they finally killed Royal with. I know Quinn hit him with like five finishers before actually covering him. It was awesome. Royal was a MAN.
Scotty Blaze/ Chris Dramin vs Prince Malik/Pharoah!: Pharoah is awesome with the "Shut your mouth, eunuch!" response to the razzing he was getting from the crowd. Match was pretty basic with Pharoah killing Dramin with powermoves and Malik kicking him a lot. Malik and Pharoah were fun working the crowd before Blaze beats the hell out of Pharoah and pins one them. They got a great basis for a cool tag run- as Dramin and Escobar are really good as faces in peril. Blaze and Falco are good getting the crowd behind their comebacks off the apron and God knows the Old School Empire can beat a massive amount of heat onto the babyface. This match was a good example. Dramin's facials are really good and the crowd was behind him- which is all you can ask for. The match was really sloppy by the end.
Chris Escobar/ Shane Falco vs Maxx Dynamite/Alexx Sage: This was face versus face and perfectly fine for a match that puts me to sleep. You find out later that Falco's strength is that it looks like Preston Quinn taught him how to punch. Nobody throws any punches in this so to hell with this match. Crowd hates Sage and Dynamite on General Principle because they SHOULD have turned evil to make the match more fun. But they didn't so the crowd and I hated them.
Damian Wayne/ Frank The Tank Parker vs Xtreme Outlaws!: Xtreme Outlaws aren't ready for primetime yet. Maaaan, don't go into a match with Damien motherfucking Wayne if your punches suck that much. God, it really sucked when Tank and one of the XO hit the floor and showed you right to your face that EO's punches really sucked. GUH. Tank wins with an Ace Crusher.
Grail vs Logan Knight: I went outside to drink beer in my car. If I had a known that they were wrestling through intermission, I would have drank faster. I catch the finish of Grail crushing young Logan Knight with a tombstone.
Preston Quinn/ Mike Booth vs Scotty Blaze/Chris Dramin: Booth was fucking awesome the whole tournament. He goes all crazy in this match- going all fratboy daterape psycho while beating on Dramin and it fucking ruled. Blaze and Quinn are magic in the ring and they beat the holy dogshit out of each other. Tank comes out to ringside and Blaze rushes after him and they fight to the back. Dramin is left alone and does what he does best- TAKE THE DEMOLITION DECAPITATION RIGHT ON THE MOTHERFUCKING CHIN. God, it was awesome. They pin him and continue to destroy Dramin. Sean Lei and Dirty Money run in and make the save and everyone's heart leaps for joy- because the only guy in Virginia who takes a Preston Quinn assbeating with more vim and vigor than Chris Dramin is fuckin' SEAN LEI. Well, the only guy UNTIL....
Chris Escobar/ Shane Falco vs Damien Wayne/ Frank Parker: Chris Escobar is the best babyface in the promotion. Since this is a Southern promotion and it is based on Southern tag psychology, Escobar is the best guy in the promotion- as he gets molten heat for his babyface comebacks. It starts here as he gets the hell beaten out of him before Falco tags and actually takes the more gigantic beating before the Blaze run-in with the chair to crush the skull of his former partner. Falco is fucking great in this because he trades punches with Damien Wayne and doesn't get smoked. I note that you have a tag match where fucking Frank The Tank Parker has the FOURTH best punches in the match. Escobar is AWESOME on the apron- doing the fired up babyface beating of Wayne all the way into the opposing corner when making the save. I like that so much better than the usual arguing with the ref. Here, you can understand the ref being distracted because he has to physically drive the babyface back to the apron as opposed to the guy on the apron distracting the ref like an idiot. The chairshot was manly as the storyline required. The crowd goes apeshit over Escobar and Falco winning and it was awesome.
Sean Callaway vs Dragan Frost: You can't follow this many OSE/Blaze/Escobar matches with anything. But they try. You would really have to- I dunno- saw somebody's head off with a jigsaw. but they didn't. So we waited for the finals.
Lexie Fyfe vs Kiley McLean: Another weirdly watchable match from these two. Kiley takes the UGLY bump on the floor from a lariat and it kicks the intensity of the match up a bit. I talked to Steve and Rich alot during this match and don't remember much else other than the bump by Kiley and assorted comments about the shininess of Lexy's legs.
Chris Escobar/Shane Falco vs Preston Quinn/ Mike Booth: This match was FUCKING AWESOME. Escobar was AMAZING. Quinn and Booth were masterful at drawing the crowd in and giving Escobar just enough comebacks to get slowly hot for the molten finish. Escobar does a flying headscissors after ten minutes of taking a beating and the roof flies off the place. God, Mathews fans are awesome. When Falco spears Quinn mid-Decapitation and Escobar rolls up Booth for the win, the roof flies off and lands in King and Queen County. It was great. Postmatch, Brandon Day and his fat guy partner (sick six six?) beat the hell out of Escobar and Falco because they weren't invited into the tourney. The funniest moment is the presentation of the tournament trophies to Escobar and Falco while they are dead on their backs. It was awesome.
GREAT fucking night of wrestling. Richard said he had a great time and was really impressed with Escobar. I had to break the news to him that MOST wrestling isn't even close to being as good as this. And that's why you drive to Mathews, Virginia on a Friday night.
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