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|  #1 Posted on 25.7.05 2207.52
Reposted on: 25.7.12 2208.49 | This is just me talking here, but all the WWE has to do to win me over/back is BOOK MIDGETS.
I wasn't gonna start the thread this week but ekedolphin ruined all my plans to have HIM start the thread - hey, it ain't recappin' if you just start SKIPPING weeks, my man - on the other hand, my articles more and more seem to turn out JUST like the old CRZ recaps - except there aren't any blow-by-blow match descriptions... or promo transcripts... and also it takes me about five minutes instead of three hours...
But on the minus side, only my wife heard me make the "Eugene" call ahead of time (because Christy Hemme's relationship with him makes CONTINUITY!)
Big ups to Shelton for not slipping off the turnbuckle this week. You GET back on that wagon, young man
Shawn Michaels is SHOOTING! (Ha) HE SAID VINCE OMG YOU *KNOW* HE'S SHOOTING!
(He's not shooting - but still, it wasn't bad)
What a BEAUTIFUL Lionsault!
All this and more as WWE brings us the CLOACAS - which is Spanish for "Cameron, NC" - I looked it up - you can trust me
BUMPY KNUCKLES HAS A POSSE
OKAY
...
GO
| Promote this thread! |             | Superhero
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| #2 Posted on 25.7.05 2213.50
Reposted on: 25.7.12 2213.56 |
<< What a BEAUTIFUL Lionsault!
I really think the WWE dropped the ball in not letting Jericho hit this finisher more often. It is a respectable finishing move.
(edited by Superhero on 25.7.05 2314) | JWstorm
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| #3 Posted on 25.7.05 2214.36
Reposted on: 25.7.12 2215.46 | | Caught Kane-Edge on til the end. It seems like Matt is looking bad in all this. With Lita getting ktfo and then Matt comes out and beats edge as he tends to her, just not good for Matt's character. Carlito........ first time I had seen him- HE SUCKS! Cena still cant wrestle. I agree with the czar in that that was a hellacious Lionsault. | Juggalo101
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|  #4 Posted on 25.7.05 2218.30
Reposted on: 25.7.12 2219.22 | Are we back to the point that we need to have random midgets to increase ratings?
Line of the Night: I heard when Cloacas takes Viagra he gets taller.
-Jerry Lawler
So idiotic, it was actually funny...
Enjoyed the HBK promo tonight. Should have seen a little bit more of this on Piper's Pit a couple weeks ago. Michaels looked sharp in the suit as well.
Somewhat entertaining night with a healthy dose of filler...How many times have I seen that Hogan package (or one exactly similar to that)? At least a little was left to Lord Alfred though. | The Great Thomas
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| #5 Posted on 25.7.05 2220.48
Reposted on: 25.7.12 2221.07 | When your Match of the Night is Heart Throbs/Pocket Rocket vs. Viscera/Cloacas, you know you're in a slump.
Also, during the Hot Dog Eating Contest, I kept wishing that little Japanese guy (you know who I'm talking about) would show up and show the Divas how it's done.
In conclusion: this show needs more midgets. | BigSteve
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| #6 Posted on 25.7.05 2230.53
Reposted on: 25.7.12 2231.11 | Why did Shelton Benjamin job for Snitsky and Chris Masters? Hell, I like Masters, but that's not even close to right.
Why do people like John Cena? Is his desired audience twelve year olds? Not to go all Holden Caufield on you or anything, but the dude is such a phony. I'm really being serious here - if any W's are Cena fans can you please help me understand?
Midgets? Hot dog eating? Truly I must have stepped into the seventh circle of hell there momentarily. I can honestly say that tonight's broadcast was almost completely devoid of redeeming value - or maybe I just woke up on the proverbial wrong side of the bed this morning or something, I dunno.
Actually, that HBK promo was pretty cool. I'm all for the return of Asshole HBK circa '97. | BigDaddyLoco
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| #7 Posted on 25.7.05 2231.24
Reposted on: 25.7.12 2236.29 | -Michaels may have been at his best when he was DX Michaels, this was a taste of him *shooting* and it wasn't a bad taste.
-The Diva contest would have been funnier (funny, something) if the strippers had to eat "Cocktail Wieners" ... come on it writes itself.
-If Cena didn't rap he'd be the best Stone Cold personality since Stone Cold. I sense Attitude creeping back into the program with so much shootiness these days.
-To many "Superstars" not enough Kurt Angle.
(edited by BigDaddyLoco on 25.7.05 2332) | OMEGA
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| #8 Posted on 25.7.05 2233.52
Reposted on: 25.7.12 2236.31 | I'm liking the Cena/Jericho/Bischoff/featuring Carlito angle. Yeah, it might be Austin/McMahon-light, but it's been entertaining me these past couple of weeks.
The first week of the diva search with the obstacle course was beyond tremendous. It has been all downhill since then.
Shawn Michaels screaming for make-up was so delightfully awkward that I loved it.
They really need to go a week or two with no Matt Hardy appearances. It's gotten a little ridiculous that he's somehow making it in the building each week.
Loved the tribute for Al Hayes.
However, my favorite part of RAW this week: Maria. I must marry that woman.
(edited by OMEGA on 25.7.05 2335) | ekedolphin
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| #9 Posted on 25.7.05 2234.52
Reposted on: 25.7.12 2237.19 | Yeah, well for some reason I couldn't find the motivation to do an actual recap tonight. (I wonder why that is.)
Ohhh, what a bad RAW. The Kurt Angle Invitational, one of the highlights of the show two weeks ago, was anticlimactic as hell, which is not the first thing I wanted to see after the equally anticlimactic main event at the Great American Bash. When Eugene came out, all the drama seeped out of it for me. Of course he's going to win. Dammit, WWE has had their heads up their asses for the last couple of weeks now. I wanted to see someone unknown win, I wanted Angle's loss to come as a surprise, and the last thing I wanted is to see Kurt Angle's gold medals be challenged for as if they're a WWE title. (The "Eugene Invitational" just reeks of a glorified three-minute title defense.)
Viscera and The Heart Throbs have no business even being on Heat, let alone RAW, let alone in a mixed tag-team match with midgets. I wonder how much of a jobber Antonio feels like now that he's jobbed to someone who weighs 50 pounds and finished him off with a "big splash" from about a foot in the air. (Could have been Romeo, but you can correct me all you want, because I don't care.)
The Battle of the Bands (which, granted, I wasn't looking forward to) actually went worse than I'd anticipated. I knew Cena was going to win, of course, because in WWE Logic hip-hop is greater than rock (and that's the dumbest fuckin' thing I've ever heard), but to have Y2J pull Fozzy out of the competition actually managed to irritate me even more than the expected "clean" job.
Shelton Benjamin becomes the latest victim of the Master Lock, and that sound you hear is me shouting "FUCK YOU, WWE!" at my television screen.
Shawn Michaels' "worked shoot" comments were pretty cool, since I found myself agreeing with nearly everything he said.
Kane and Edge was underwhelming once more-- NOW, can we end this feud? Matt Hardy makes an "OMG, SHOCKING~!" appearance for the third week in a row... full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. Yo, WWE, is this actually gonna go somewhere sometime soon? It lost its impact after the first time, not to mention the second time.
But noooo, we don't end the Edge/Kane feud yet, because Kane assaults a police officer (in WWE Logic, that means he'll be arrested next week and come back the following week or maybe even later that night-- I want that kinda laywer!), and sends Lita for a ride on the Highway to Hell. Attempted manslaughter with a vehicle, attempted murder, assault of a police officer, this is truly a man the fans can get behind!
The only cool thing that happened the entire night was that Y2J finally, finally, my God finally got one up on Cena. After recent illogical events, I'd fully expected Cena to win the match anyway, denying Carlito a title shot, denying Jericho the chance to even gain a single moral victory throughout their entire feud, and make the main event pointless. Kind of like the GAB main event was pointless. But the right man actually went over in this situation, which is the first 100% "good thing" that I saw in WWE over the last 24 hours. Except the bWo coming down to the ring on kiddie trikes-- dascool!
DASCOOL!: Carlito winning (although it no doubt sets up another Cena victory next week in which he gets to make Jericho look like a pussy), and HBK's interview.
YOU SUCK!: God, everything fuckin' else. The way the night had been going, maybe I shouldn't have muted the Diva Search competition, because I can't imagine it could have been worse than the rest of the show.
WASSUPWIDAT?!: No way in a million fuckin' YEARS should Shelton Benjamin EVER job to the talentless sack of shit known as Chris Masters.
I'm not going to nominate a quote of the night, but I leave you with a modified quote from Back to the Future Part II which I've used once before.
Marty: I can't believe it, it's like we're in hell or something!
Doc: No, it's WWE, though I can't imagine hell being much worse.
Regarding the recaps-- I'll try to muster up some creativity next week, which is more than I can say for WWE's effort this week. | saturn93
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| #10 Posted on 25.7.05 2242.20
Reposted on: 25.7.12 2242.22 | We actually saw it live on Spike instead of taping it and watching it later in the week. My thoughts (in no order)...
1) Finally, a breakthrough with the Angle Invite. Now, we get the Eugene Invite. Whoopee!!!
2) When they showed Viscera, and then Cloacas, I thought "They shrunk Mo!!!" Blah match.
3) Did not see the Lord Alfred Hayes tribute...thunderstorms screwed my reception.
4) Battle of Bands...should have screwed up my reception here.
5) Snitsky/Masters vs Benjamin...actually wasn't into the match.
6) HBK...one of the best talkers around.
7) Divas...well, there goes my favorite. That's all.
8) Kane/Edge part MLCXIVI (or whatever it is)...BAD MATCH!!! Period!!! But, WOW for the post match. Once Hardy and Edge finally meet in the ring, IMO, this will be the Angle of the Year. After that, all 3 announcers agree. If playing the WWE Raw Drinking game, CHUG!!!
9) Cena/Carlito...whatever, except we happened to see Mount JR erupt. So, we get to see another match next week.
The one time that we watch Raw live and it was a stinker in my book. | Quezzy
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| #11 Posted on 25.7.05 2246.18
Reposted on: 25.7.12 2250.59 | | Personally I think Angle and Eugene can have a hell of a fued, it has potential to be very very funny. Jericho and Cena have a very good feud going on, and HBK and Hogan are two legends and yet they manage to make me not want to watch Raw because of how horrible it is. And why exactly are we having a hotdog eating contest in the diva contest? We want our diva to be the biggest pig of the group? | Big Bad
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| #12 Posted on 25.7.05 2256.25
Reposted on: 25.7.12 2257.41 | Originally posted by Quezzy
And why exactly are we having a hotdog eating contest in the diva contest?
Because eating hot dogs is like oral sex, silly? Except it's with wieners instead of penises, and mustard instead of....uh, well, enough of this.
I actually didn't mind tonight's Raw. Jericho and HBK got to cut a couple of killer promos, Edge and Kane had a fun little match, and Carlito/Cena was surprisingly the best match that either has had since coming over to Raw. These guys have fought each other enough on Smackdown that they're starting to develop some chemistry; we could be seeing a burgeoning Triple H/Rock type of long-term rivalry. | Deputy Marshall
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| #13 Posted on 25.7.05 2321.18
Reposted on: 25.7.12 2321.23 | Originally posted by Quezzy
Personally I think Angle and Eugene can have a hell of a fued, it has potential to be very very funny.
I don't think it'll be a great feud, but at least the Eugene thing gives Angle something to do at SummerSlam. I mean, looking at the potential lineup for Summerslam now, who were they going to put Angle against? Hurricane? That guy who got fired for lying to his bosses?
Other thoughts:
- Viscera vs. The Heartthrobs with midgets. It speaks for itself. The highlight was Cloacas almost falling off Viscera for the final spot of the match, and getting booed for it. By the way, can someone explain the "Cloacas" thing for me? I translated through Babelfish and it came back with "sewer." I'm not exactly up on my Spanish slang.
- Can't say I'm as upset as others that Benjamin didn't break the Masterlock. I mean, it was a handicap match against two guys whose whole style relies on them being powerhouses. What upset me more was right after the awesome Benjamin spot where he did a flip to the outside onto both Masters and Snitsky, it seemed like only seconds passed and all three were back in the ring going at it like the spot hadn't even occurred. Oh, and also the post-match shenanigans and last week's events all point to Big Show vs. Masters at SummerSlam. If you're going to get angry at anything, get angry at THAT.
- I was really worried that doing a battle of the bands would turn the crowd against Cena (I was having West Texas Rednecks flashbacks for a second), but thankfully that didn't happen and the rappers held their own. Jericho saying that the crowd was already bias and refusing to perform because he didn't want to subject his band to it was perfect. Especially because I watch RAW to watch wrestling and wrestling angles, not mini-concerts for music I won't listen to anyway. On that same token, thank you RAW producers for going to commercial thirty seconds into the Chain Gang's encore performance.
- I really enjoyed the Michaels segment, and have to agree with ekedolphin in that I also agreed with almost everything he said. Good approach for Michaels to take (better late than never).
- While I still dread it, it seems like this week WWE has finally (after a year and a half) learned that the Diva segments need to be kept short. And c'mon, I know they're supposed to be all lady-like and it was only a minute, but only TWO divas finishing a measly ONE entire hot dog? Please. They can do better than that. SHOW US THAT YOU WANT IT, LADIES!
- If the Matt Hardy thing is getting old, then somebody needs to tell everyone that was in attendance in Cleveland, because they were all chanting "Hardy" on and off throughout the Kane/Edge match. I didn't think the match itself was too awful, but it's almost becoming comical how many times they're doing this match. Maybe that's the whole point, in that in storyline mode they're trying to draw attention away from Matt. Who knows. My only major criticism of the post-match segment was that they did the Kane/Lita worked angle right after that, which kind of took away the pseudo-shoot appeal of Matt/Edge.
- Cena/Carlito with Jericho as ref I found surprisingly entertaining. Then again, I'm a huge Carlito mark, so that might skew my view on that a little bit. As for why people are so into Cena, it's because he has a good presence and personality, conveys it well to the audience, and that's really all we need to know. The crowd loves him, and in terms of workrate it's not like Cena is as bad as Hogan was in the ring (not that the "Chain Gang" will even approach "Hulkamania" in terms of popularity and mainstream acceptance). There's time for us to be smarks with workrate, and times to just say "well he's super over, so that can only be a good thing."
RAW for me was good to very good in some spots, and pretty dreadful in others. A very uneven show, but it had a very strong finish that built well to Cena/Jericho at SummerSlam.
(edited by Deputy Marshall on 26.7.05 0024) | ekedolphin
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| #14 Posted on 25.7.05 2325.00
Reposted on: 25.7.12 2326.11 | A "cloaca" is the equivalent of a vagina in fish, reptillians and birds. And the reason everyone's foreign language translators are screwing up is because it's actually an English word.
(edited by ekedolphin on 26.7.05 0025) | Tenken347
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| #15 Posted on 25.7.05 2328.16
Reposted on: 25.7.12 2329.01 | | I liked the show, especially the main event. In my opinion, Cena and Carlito just match up really well. Also, I don't care what anybody says, I think the Heart-throbs are great, and any time they're on the A-show is alright by me. | CRZ
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| #16 Posted on 25.7.05 2347.13
Reposted on: 25.7.12 2348.40 | Originally posted by ekedolphin
A "cloaca" is the equivalent of a vagina in fish, reptillians and birds. And the reason everyone's foreign language translators are screwing up is because it's actually an English word.
(edited by ekedolphin on 26.7.05 0025)
But if it were English, wouldn't he have been cloacae instead?
Let's face it, "sewers" just seems more apropos. | chill
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|  #17 Posted on 26.7.05 0116.07
Reposted on: 26.7.12 0118.22 | Is it just me, or did all the diva-wannabes miss the point of the hot dog eating contest? If they want votes or to get noticed and stand out from the rest, it only had to take one of them to realize WWE probably didn't want a literal eating contest. That was boring as hell.
I'd suggest instead that WWE was hoping one of them would be smart enough to realize that you can be suggestive with a wiener. Hell, for the spur-of-the-moment "overtime" that they had, they handed the girls wieners without the buns as if saying, "Look, we don't want you to eat the f'n hot dogs - use your imagination and give the 14-35 male demographic something entertaining (even if it is lame)."
Fast-forward a few weeks already, choose a diva and throw her in with the rest of them. Just please don't try getting them to wrestle.
I'm liking Carlito's character more and more each week. If he can avoid serious injuries, I'm looking forward to watching him rise to the top. | CHAPLOW
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| #18 Posted on 26.7.05 0118.15
Reposted on: 26.7.12 0119.02 | The line of the night was during the midget match- Cloaca was wrestling Hearthrob #A (maybe B, who knows?) and J.R. said something to the extent of;
"This is so unfair!" Dont ask me why, but I cracked up.
For being "the best match on a crappy RAW" that match was largely badly staged comedic relief.
Shelton Benjamin (the one, the only) continues his amazing performances week after week- and I have to agree with ekedolphin (of course) that he should have NEVER been made to job to Chris Masters.
Shelton Benjamin has got to break that hold in the near future- Im sure anyone watching could feel how over that was gonna put him, even if it was with Masters.
"eff" the battle of the bands- If I wanna watch MTV, I own a remote control. Wrasslin! please. And to answer some people's questions about Cena's appeal- Even I cringe at some of his promos but he is just one of those guys that tries to involve the whole crowd in what he is doing, and that will always earn the respect of the masses.
I give HBK's promo a 10
I give Christy (and her outfit) a 10
Good night all.
(edited by WhoTookMyHonor? on 25.7.05 2318)
(edited by WhoTookMyHonor? on 25.7.05 2320) | Hogan's My Dad
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| #19 Posted on 26.7.05 0324.18
Reposted on: 26.7.12 0325.14 | Originally posted by Juggalo101
How many times have I seen that Hogan package (or one exactly similar to that)?
Nominated for drjayphd's "out of context quote".
Liked the show. Michaels got a little edge back. Looks like Jesus told him to learn to act.
Cena's performance was not too bad at all. I'm talking about the rapping, of course.
I suppose the divas eating the hot dogs was "phallic imagery", no? Only problem is, what's the symbolism of them biting and eating pig particles moulded into the general shape of a homosapien wang? Is that supposed to excite me? Maybe I'm crazy, but I just saw girls eating hotdogs.
I mean, look, midgets kick the crud out of hotdogs. Midgets are eleven times more interesting than hotdogs. This has actually been scientifically proven. Logic thusly suggests that they should have had the divas eating midgets.
Shelton was wasted tonight. Is calling big Gene "Shitsky" too predictable? | Excalibur05
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| #20 Posted on 26.7.05 0324.26
Reposted on: 26.7.12 0325.42 | Want to know why Shelton isn't getting a bigger push?
Go back and watch his promo with Bischoff, and Shelton's fourth grade school play delivery of all his lines. It's not even the dialog (which is terrible), but his delivery is absolutely piss poor. I can't stand Benoit's promos either, but at least he puts some intensity into whatever it is he's trying to mumble. |
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