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The 7 - Random - Age gap dating Register and log in to post!
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Medisterpoelse
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#1 Posted on 13.6.05 1803.15
Reposted on: 13.6.12 1811.16
My friend is 15 fifteen she recently started dating a 23 or 24 year old man. She insists that it is not illegal because she has her parents concent. So my question is is it still all right even though you have your parents permission to date a man over 3 years older than you?
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JayJayDean
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#2 Posted on 13.6.05 1818.56
Reposted on: 13.6.12 1818.56
Not if she's in Texas.

Penal Code Sec. 21.11. Indecency With a Child.

(a) A person commits an offense if, with a child younger than 17 years
and not his spouse, whether the child is of the same or opposite sex, he:

(1) engages in sexual contact with the child; or
(2) exposes his anus or any part of his genitals,
knowing the child is present, with intent to arouse or gratify
the sexual desire of any person.
(b) It is an affirmative defense to prosecution under this section that
the actor:
(1) was not more than three years older than the victim
and of the opposite sex; and


(2) did not use duress, force, or a threat against the victim
at the time of the offense.

(c) An offense under Subsection (a)(1) is a felony of the second degree
and an offense under Subsection (a)(2) is a felony of the third degree.


Also from that site: EDITOR: No one can give permission to break the law. The historical significance to this is the use of the marriage license. When you apply for a marriage license you give the state the right to the "fruits of the marriage" ... in other words, applying for a license gave the state the power to set what was right and wrong for your child. The point is - the relationship is against the law and a parent can't "consent" away the legal implications.
Brian P. Dermody
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#3 Posted on 13.6.05 1826.20
Reposted on: 13.6.12 1826.58
And I'm sure you know this as well, but Texas is the wrong state to mess with that stuff.
Guru Zim
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#4 Posted on 13.6.05 1915.55
Reposted on: 13.6.12 1918.13
Remember, nothing here is legal advice. If you have a question about something like this (which sounds like a pretty serious issue) you should contact an authority in your area and not trust people on a message board.

Not hat I'm saying JayJayDean is wrong, I'm just pointing out this is not a good way to get accurate information and you should not rely on what anyone on the board says.

PS> I hope you didn't lie about your age to register here.
ekedolphin
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#5 Posted on 13.6.05 2119.47
Reposted on: 13.6.12 2123.13
Hmmm. Well, that law mentions plenty about sexual contact and exposure, but it doesn't say anything about dating per se, it seems.

But then, I know the mindset of a lot of 23-year-old men, since I happen to be one. (And though I'm not like this,) I wouldn't trust the average 23-year-old guy not to engage in sexual activity with someone he's dating. I don't mean to generalize, but that's simply my experience.

But even if he behaves himself, that's irrelevant. If they ever broke up, and the girl got her heart absolutely shattered, the mere accusation that he took advantage of her would be extremely damning when he's brought up on charges. I'm not trying to imply that the accusation alone would prove anything, but I can't imagine too many jurors would find it out of the realm of reasonable doubt that he didn't take advantage of her. Especially if he has any past sexual, or criminal, history.

Furthermore, unless your friend lives in another state than you live, it's freakin' Texas, and I wouldn't fuck around with anything resembling breaking the law in that state.

It's not worth it. Dammit, if their love is strong enough, he should be able to say, "Let's just be friends for three more years, and then we can do whatever the hell we want without the possibility of my ending up in a Texas pound-you-in-the-ass penetitenary for 20 to 30."
Hogan's My Dad
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#6 Posted on 14.6.05 0457.19
Reposted on: 14.6.12 0459.01
I would like to take this time to say that the age of consent in Canada is 14. I'm not sure what the limitation on that is, but I got a source.

*"The Criminal Code does not now criminalize consensual sexual activity with or between persons 14 or over, unless it takes place in a relationship of trust or dependency, in which case sexual activity with persons over 14 but under 18 can constitute an offence, notwithstanding their consent. Even consensual activity with those under 14 but over 12 may not be an offence if the accused is under 16 and less than two years older than the complainant. The exception, of course, is anal intercourse, to which unmarried persons under 18 cannot legally consent, although both the Ontario Court of Appeal(3) and the Quebec Court of Appeal(4) have struck down the relevant section of the Criminal Code."

Now, even though it would be legal, I can't imagine anyone I know actually touching anyone that age. It's odd. I guess I'm just offering that the legality issue should be secondary to the morality issue here. What could a twenty-three-year-old have in common with a fifteen-year-old? Consdiering the discrepancy in life experience, I can't think of anything. Seems a little odd that anyone's parents would consent to this, except of course when the person who wants to date their underage child happens to be Elvis.
DrDirt
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#7 Posted on 14.6.05 1037.44
Reposted on: 14.6.12 1039.29
As a parent of a 15 year-old, I would have to be out of mind mind to allow my daughter to date someone that much older. For a "man" of 23-24 to want to date a "girl" he must be terribly immature or alot worse. Our daughter isn't even allowed to go on official dates until 16.

It is normal for a girl that age to be attracted to this. Parents are supposed to be, you know, parents.

(edited by DrDirt on 14.6.05 1455)
Big Bad
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#8 Posted on 14.6.05 1548.20
Reposted on: 14.6.12 1549.59
The general rule of thumb is the 'Rule Of Seven,' which states that it's ok if she's older than half your age plus seven years. So I can date a girl who's 18 and a half or older.

God bless Canada and our wacky laws. I remember hearing about that one in Grade 13 law class. Everyone's jaw dropped; to a room of horny 18-year-olds, it was like pennies from heaven. On a fun note, my two tablemates ended up dating and getting pregnant together later that year and now they're married with two kids.
StaggerLee
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#9 Posted on 15.6.05 0836.33
Reposted on: 15.6.12 0837.15
Any father of a 15 year old GIRL who would knowingly allow his daughter to "date" a 23 year old MAN, should have his ass kicked.

Oliver
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#10 Posted on 15.6.05 1734.26
Reposted on: 15.6.12 1735.09
Can I ask one question? Why would someone want to date someone that young? I mean, if someone's in their 20s, they're getting ready to get a career going, or whatever else...someone who's FIFTEEN is starting to get ideas for college!!!

I don't want to seem rude, but I don't thing the relationship will last.
DrDirt
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#11 Posted on 16.6.05 0709.46
Reposted on: 16.6.12 0710.34
    Originally posted by SOK
    Can I ask one question? Why would someone want to date someone that young? I mean, if someone's in their 20s, they're getting ready to get a career going, or whatever else...someone who's FIFTEEN is starting to get ideas for college.


Easy sex. Manipulable. Control. Emotionally immature. Poor self-identity. Pervert.
tarnish
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#12 Posted on 16.6.05 0730.57
Reposted on: 16.6.12 0731.03
When my fiancee was 16 and 17, she dated a guy almost 10 years her senior. She didn't see a problem with it, but it led to some very trying times between her and her family, especially her Dad.

It didn't help that the guy was really not very nice to her.

She and I have been together for almost 5 years now and it's only in the last 6 months that she's been willing to even entertain the notion that there was a de facto problem with the relationship. She'd admit that the guy had some serious problems and seemed to blame issues in the relationship on those, but would rail against anyone who even suggested that the age gap was part of the problem.

Now she seems to be changing her tune significantly to something more along the lines of what others are saying here, i.e. that there is something "not right" about a guy in his mid-to-late twenties who wants to date a girl in her teens.

I asked her what brought her to this new conclusion and she said she really didn't know, only that she looks at the world differently now that she's 26 and not 17. Part of her defensiveness was surely that she felt that to say that somehow cheapened what she had (she did truly have strong feelings for the guy, and he for her, I believe); but the 10 years between 17 and 27 represent an awful lot of "growing up."

That's not to say that I think a big age gap cannot work, just that when one person is at such a young age and hasn't experienced the world in the same way that the older person has, it's generally a recipe for disaster.
Nag
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#13 Posted on 16.6.05 0748.42
Reposted on: 16.6.12 0749.05
    Originally posted by DrDirt
      Originally posted by SOK
      Can I ask one question? Why would someone want to date someone that young? I mean, if someone's in their 20s, they're getting ready to get a career going, or whatever else...someone who's FIFTEEN is starting to get ideas for college.


    Easy sex. Manipulable. Control. Emotionally immature. Poor self-identity. Pervert.


Or we could ask, why would some highschool girl want to date someone that old? Money, Protection, Transportation. It's simple human nature, Men flock to fertility, women to those who can provide.

I'm 24, I don't like the fact that some women my age will date someone 34, but that 34 year old is set in life, where I'm just starting to get my feet on the ground. We all know, it isn't that uncommon to find women in their 30's dating men in the 60's.

Keep in mind, 50 years ago this wasn't that uncommon, there certainty wasn't the stigma attached to it as there was today. In 1940 my grandfather was 25 met my grandma who was 16; they weren't perverts or backwoods yokels, both came from Midwestern, Christian, blue-collar familles. So, I'd be a hypocrite to preach against it...until I have a daughter of my own.
DrDirt
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#14 Posted on 16.6.05 0955.54
Reposted on: 16.6.12 0956.56
    Originally posted by Nag
      Originally posted by DrDirt
        Originally posted by SOK
        Can I ask one question? Why would someone want to date someone that young? I mean, if someone's in their 20s, they're getting ready to get a career going, or whatever else...someone who's FIFTEEN is starting to get ideas for college.


      Easy sex. Manipulable. Control. Emotionally immature. Poor self-identity. Pervert.


    Or we could ask, why would some highschool girl want to date someone that old? Money, Protection, Transportation. It's simple human nature, Men flock to fertility, women to those who can provide.

    I'm 24, I don't like the fact that some women my age will date someone 34, but that 34 year old is set in life, where I'm just starting to get my feet on the ground. We all know, it isn't that uncommon to find women in their 30's dating men in the 60's.

    Keep in mind, 50 years ago this wasn't that uncommon, there certainty wasn't the stigma attached to it as there was today. In 1940 my grandfather was 25 met my grandma who was 16; they weren't perverts or backwoods yokels, both came from Midwestern, Christian, blue-collar familles. So, I'd be a hypocrite to preach against it...until I have a daughter of my own.


While still not often a wise move, there is less of a maturity/ developmental gap between 24 and 34 or 30 and 60 the 15 and 25. The difference in development. experience, etc. from 15 to 25 is almost exponential.
emma
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#15 Posted on 17.6.05 1540.45
Reposted on: 17.6.12 1540.55
    Originally posted by Nag
      Originally posted by DrDirt
        Originally posted by SOK
        Can I ask one question? Why would someone want to date someone that young? I mean, if someone's in their 20s, they're getting ready to get a career going, or whatever else...someone who's FIFTEEN is starting to get ideas for college.


      Easy sex. Manipulable. Control. Emotionally immature. Poor self-identity. Pervert.


    Or we could ask, why would some highschool girl want to date someone that old?
Absent daddy. Either physically not present, or "emotionally unavailable".
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