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The 7 - Pro Wrestling - DVDVR ROAD REPORT: NWA VA 5/7/2005
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DEAN RASMUSSEN
He is DEAN
Level: 74

Posts: 949/1399
EXP: 3551249
For next: 102312

Since: 11.12.01
From: Richmond, Va, U-S-A!

Since last post: 1198 days
Last activity: 1196 days
#1 Posted on 17.5.05 1101.07
Reposted on: 17.5.12 1102.43
DR: DEAN RASMUSSEN who dreamt last night that someone loved him.
TKG: TOM KARRO-GARSNER, I still want a hula-hoop.
_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+

DR: I'm so fucking glad I moved out of the city of Richmond. They STILL haven't fixed the road to Government Rd a fucking YEAR after Tropical Storm Gaston. Yeah, I would want these motherfuckers educating my children. My driving aimlessly did allow my oldest boy to get just enough sleep to become as completely irritable as he could possibly be. I discover the wonders of buying off your angry child with Tropical Fruit Starbursts. All was right with the world.

TKG:So Iíve gotten hooked on the NWA-Va product through the internet wrestling and decided to give it a second shot live. Meet up with Phil and we take off from DC and get stuck in traffic on 95 S. And we are stuck in traffic for a while. Last time we went to NWA VA we got stuck in traffic and missed Damien Wayne and we missed first half of show. Phil tries to sooth my nerves by playing a bunch of Diplomats tunes. My favorite was "End of the Road". I never got that into the whole Kanye West thing but I love how all these guys have taken the one piece of Kanye West production schtick, the Alvin and The Chipmunks sped up thing and built whole singles around it. Never really got into it when it was just part of bag of tricks but loving it when its upfront...well I prefer the Count Five to Clapton too. So really digging Da Backwudz, that Akon tune, and this Diplomats tune. I think in the post mash-up world people started to reasses the importance of Puffy. I think it maybe time to seriously reasses the genius that was David Seville. Every time I listen to "Lonely" I keep expecting David Seville to interupt it to yell "ALL-VIIIN!!!" and thats half the charm.

Sean Callaway vs Tommie Smallz:

DR: We show up just as this is heading to the finish. Ronnnee SmallZzZ is over big with the giant pack of heat generating little leaguers in attendence. Mostly because SmallzZzz is just about a hand taller than anyone in the infield. Calloway won with a nasty piledriver. I notice that noone that i know is there and that the boy needs to not eat whatever concession stand fare I give him- with the exception of the Starbursts and Skittles. We re-enter the gym and PHIL SCHNEIDER and fucking TOM K are there! We freak out. My son becomes surly and pinches Phil's face fat.

TKG: We miss this match. We got to show about 45 minutes late and Phil is glad to get out of car as he refused to discuss wether Brittney, Claudia or Elanore would be the best in the sack. I say I want Elanore to sing Da Backwudz hook for me. Rodney is already taller than Dean. The community center has surprisingly tasty food for community center food. And the place is filled with enthusiastic kids who are the best wrestling audience in the world. The NWA-Va ring is a fucking great great ring, although for some reason they have the worlds squeakyest ropes, it sounds like mice playing maracas every time someone hits the ropes. They have two refs working the show. One looks alot like Ted Knight on the Mary Tyler Moore show and works like Ted Baxter reffing a match. You totally buy that Ted Baxter's heart is in the right place and you totally buy that the heels would be able to outwit him. The other ref looks like Peter Gerrety on Homicide and works like Detective Gharty reffing a match. And you totally buy that there really isn't anything Detective Gharty can do to prevent his own incompetence.

DR: Tasteful nude scenes with the Peter Gerrery referee fuels a thousand sit-bolt-upright-in-the-middle-of-the-night screaming fever dreams.

Mike Vaughn vs Chris Escobar:

DR: Escobar FINALLY wrestles again and I hip Schneider to the fact that Preston Quinn taught him how to punch. Vaugn is all nifty trying to knock off Escobar's ring rust- which was pretty apparent in spots, as they were kinda lethargic running the ropes and had a wad of awkward looking sections. Escobar does a Springboard to the FLOOR to his own HEAD and Phil and Tom wet their pants at fucking insanity of the bump.

TKG: Not sure when Vaughn turned heel or what exactly they are doing with this now that I've been in a coffin, I am thinking about joining the Goth stable slow turn or what's up with that. I dig Vaughn alot and he looks sharp in everything he does, this is the first time seen Escobar and heís a crazy nut. The springboard to the floor is INSANE. This like most of the stuff on the undercard could have had three fewer minutes but the finish was suitably nasty.

DR: I guess Mike Vaughan to be an undercard heel in NWA VA will have to do an alt country redneck goth thing. Maybe come out to "Carry Home" by the Gun Club and maybe name his finishers after old Ernest Tubb songs- Thanks A Lot High Angle Dangerous Backdrop or maybe the Walking The Floors Over You Dragon Screw. When Escobar loses the ring rust, I assume that Escobar will be y'alls forth favorite wrestler in NWA VA- behind Preston Quinn, Scotty Blaze and Damian Wayne. I was trying to think of ways to get the belt on Escobar and get him to join the OSE.

Maxx Dynamite vs Dragan Frost:

TKG: I dig Dragon Frost a ton as he's a good rudo, kind of looks like A-train cito, a really great thrust kick for a little guy and just has a million different ways to low blow his opponent. Dynamite looked better in this match than the last time I saw the two matched up, as Dynamite had developed some neat leg selling stuff that got over with the kids. Although the extended leg selling was odd in that it made you aware of how quickly he was recovering from the nut shots, when the leg work was doing that much more damage. Dynamite needs to watch a bunch of Dustin or Santo matches, if these two guys are going to match up again. I wonder how much if you could draw with Santito/Rhodesito vs. Fuerza and Frost. Even if you couldn't draw the Fuerza/Frost un-foul double teams would make it worth losing your money.

DR: We discuss the fact that there are probably a thousand Max Dynamites across this indie landscape and I assume that there would be more Shane Dynamites. I never really thought about Dragan Frost too much asa wrestler. God knows he's become perfectly functional wrestler but he is WORSHIPPED by Phil and Tom- who only know him from the netcasts. I loved their conception of him- as like an Armenian S and M sadist. It really made this match more fun than I was expecting which is why you ALWAYS want to go see the wrestling with Phil and Tom whenever you get a chance. You experience is so ODD because of them. The match itself was pretty fucking good- with Frost working waaaay stiffer than I have seen him work before. Dynamite still needs another 50 matches under his belt to become what I would call "good" but he was good selling the assbeating and his comebacks aroused the interest of the 50 children in attendence and we rubes so it was an all around success. The finish was odd- as the Armenian-looking babyface openly cheats in front of the children. I dunno.

TKG: I donít know. There may be only 400 Max Dynamites. There must be at least 700 Maxx Dynamites. I think the Virginia one is a Maxxx Dynamite. May be only 300 of those. I didn't remember describing Dragon Frost as an Armenian. The heels in NWA-Va don't look Armenian, NWA-Va on the internet appears to be all about Armenian looking babyfaces getting worked over by Satanic Metalhead heels. Why do the Satanists hate Armeninans? Who is that angle being booked to appeal to? I mean I could see if they brought in Turkish Delight Murat Bosphorus as a lead heel..but still. Live Maxxx Dynamite and Chris Dramin look more Greek than Armenian. I imagine Satanic Death Metal vs. Greek babyfaces is something that might draw well in Greek Orthodox Church basements. Although I bet Greg Vercetti would make a pretty great Turk from Cyprus....yeah Ouzo Express(Dynamite/Dramin) vs. Bosphorus/Vercetti could easily sell out Saint Sofia's Greek Rite.

DR: Actually, I think there is a larger Greek demographic in the greater Richmond area then there is the burgeoning Latin population. A Greek Orthodox stable against a heel Turkish stable would draw like Pierroth the Puerto Rican versus Atlantis. Hell, if you could devise a Greek Orthodox/ Salvadoran Catholic face stable, you could draw like Bruno in New York in 1974. Hell, a Greek Orthodox/Mexican-Salvadoran NASCAR racer stable would drawer like Crusher and Bruiser in Milwaukee.

Jon Jon Phenom/ Playboy Pete Jannings vs Shaka/ Pharoah:

DR: This was the worst Sons of Ra match I can remember. I don't blame them. I don't blame Jon Jon. Is Jon Jon not moving to California. If he is, why didn't they stretcher him out after the Sons Of Ra Brainbustered him on the concrete? If he's staying around, tell your partner not fricking fall asleep on the apron when he should try to get the crowd to give a shit about you getting the hell beaten out of yourself. I'll leave giant wads of hate for Phil's Workrate Report when this match hits the internets.

TKG: Ok Iíve seen three Sons of Ra vs. Playboys matches now. And the Sons of Ra rule. Jon Jon is really fun, good at taking a beating and his comeback offense stuff is all upbeat and fun. Pete Jennings though stinks. The worst match of the series was the one were Jennings worked long extended face in peril stuff. This was a lot better but after a while you notice that Jennings is really indifferent guy on apron in Robert Gibson role and then his hot tag house of fire section is least hot section in match and pretty poor fire. This felt like if it was eight minutes shorter it might have been good. With those eight extra minutes, it was awfull. Jon Jonís Canadian Destroyer was all kinds of ugly but would rather watch him than Petey Williamís any day. Sad to see him leave for Cali. I imagine he could make a fun Pinoy Boi partner.

Big Tony vs Grail:

TKG: Grail has a really nice piledriver but as soon as I saw Tony, I knew I wasn't going to be seeing it tonight. Damn you Phil Schneider!! Phil goes and mocks OBrien's accent and, OBrien books this in response. I don't want Phil writting anymore workrate reports. I've seen Brandon Baxter vs. Randy Hales several times...anymore criticism of OBrian and I'm afraid I'll have to see it again. Big Tony might be able to pull off a Sluggo (of Nancy and Sluggo) style New Yorker gimmick but I wasn't buying him as an Italian New Yorker. Dissapointed that Odessasteps and Capo weren't there...as I can't come up with nerdy Doiby Dickles jokes on my own.

DR: My son had completely gone into hateful irritable mode. I took him outside and we walked around. I took him to the concession stand and bought him some Starburst. Starburst is the secret weapon as he was golden until he fell asleep. I did see the end and Big Tony looked pretty good for a big fat yankee bastard. Of course, the true test is when Grail isn't carrying you. Grail fucking rules.

TKG: Yep, Grail fucking rules! This wasn't anywhere near as bad as I feared when I first saw Tony enter the ring. Maybe better than Flair vs. King Kong not sure if as good as Flair vs. Awesome Kong but still way better than I expected. Fuck activelly good. Greil rules!

Brandon Day vs Alexx Sage:

DR: This match was fucking great. Hell, if they didn't kick out of 6 finishers that should have been actual finishers, it would have been nigh perfect. Day's offense is just fucking gnarley and Sage took it like a man. Brandon Day is from Purgatory and I notice that Alexx Sage looks kinda like AJ Styles so the undercurrent of prayer and salvation was an undercurrent that made this match even more exciting.

TKG: Brandon Day does not come out with the Elements of Desturction. he's workling a Death Metal Satanist gimmick but is not part of the DeathMetal Satanist stable? Or do the Elements of Destruction represent Hell while Day is only evil enough to make it to purgatory? Or id Say working a Death Metal based Satanist gimmick while Elements of Destruction are working a Dungeons and Dragons based Satanist gimmick? Who knows but Day is really good and this had a bunch of nasty stuff in it including Sage eating a nasty DDT onto the ring apron, a cool submission and just a bunch of crisp stuff. Like Dwan said too much of that stuff was kicked out of near the end but this was hot and would dig a rematch.

DR: I think the Elements of Destruction are going for a Wiccan clan gone evil feel whereas the Sons of Ra are kinda like Marcus Garvey Back To Africa spirituality gone evil. Brandon Day is the undercard fallen Catholic and he is TRYING to become Satanic by getting enough heel heat to be prayed into hell. Ted DiBiase and George South need to manage a Face stable in the NWA-VA.

Damian Wayne/Preston Quinn vs Scotty Blaze (w/ guest appearance by Chris Dramin):

DR: When they announced that it was a handicap match we all groaned the graon of those who hate what shitty ECW booking has done to the sweet artform called the Professional Wrestling. As the match took shape, realized that these guys could make a good match out of ANYTHING and the fact that this is the best and most fun that match I've ever seen live is a true testament to the greatness of Southern Wrestling. Quinn and Wayne beat the living fucking breathing dogshit out of Scotty Blaze- to the point that TEN YEAR OLD CHILDREN- the truest of wrestling fans- GET BEHIND SCOTTY BLAZE AS A BABYFACE. Blaze was over with the kids like JYD against the Freebirds in Louisiana, which was a LOT how this match and series matches are playing out- except PQ and Booth and Wayne have brung the assbeat like Micheal PS Hayes never brought it to anyone. blaze was fucking AWESOME with his biker-in-a-fistfight comebacks and it was all just so fucking beautiful.

TKG: Wasn't just announced as a handicap match but was announced as super ECW style "everyones titles on the line" handicap match. But like Dean said there was nothing ECWish about this as this was OLD SCHOOL. Scotty Blaze is a ridiculous bump freak and his performance here just blew me away. He does a comedy Hogan thing in the middle of the match, Preston Quinn on the apron" Oh no he's Blazeing up" and drops a nasty legdrop with just great height...and even the comedy worked in fine with the whole violence of the match. Quinn, Wayne and Neil Sharey are great at rileing up the crowd against them. At one point in the match the baseball team was clearly told by security that they had to sit down...which seemed kind of odd as Sharkey was aiming a bunch of the work at them. Wayne and Quinn just beat and beat on Blaze. Including Quinn hitting this knuckle to the jaw punh that made this perfect knuckle to the jaw sound that I have no idea how you could possibly work. Wayne has great top rope elbow drops. Fuck it I can't think of anyone else today who has a better top rope elbow drop. Who else does a top rope elbow drop these days? Shawn Michaels, Kojima, Michael Shane and Lance Cade are all I can come up with. and Wayne's smokes all of those. Quinn and Wayne set up a couple of drape Blaze against rope and then top rope elbow drop Blaze sending Blaze to the floor double team spots. Like I said earlier blaze is a bump freak. Wayne also hits Blaze with what essentially was a calf branding from tha apron to the floor. Yeah like I said Blaze is a buump FREAK. The Dramin run in was super hot. The way Quinn and Wayne just ripped at Dramin's arm was super violent and made me want to scream at the ref to "stop the match, someone's going to get hurt". Fuck this was great.

DR: Quinn and Wayne are so awesome because they wrestle as such redneck dicks. It's strange. Other indie wrestler work really stiff but it just seems to me when Samoa Joe works really stiff you can tell he is playing to the indie smart rube set in the audience as is everybody else who wrestles that style. Wayne and Quinn beat the fuck out of you and make it look matter of fact- not like it should be shocking that wrestling should look you are ACTUALLY beating the dogshit out of someone. It's not like "this is pro wrestling and I do the stuff that looks safe and unremarkable but really stiff to make it interesting because we did a tour of Japan and my audience has seen Japanese wrestling and expect such"- Quinn and Wayne just look like they are beating the living dogshit out of you. It's like watching Diasuke Ikeda in BattlARTS- the ass beating looks natural and normal. Blaze REACTING to the assbeating level is like watching Akitoshi Saito react to getting punched in the face by Diasuka Ikeda- it's the "Oh okay, it's gonna be like that" reaction and response to the level of assbeating that makes for matches as fucking balls out great as this one. I want 78 Quinn/Wayne/Booth versus Blaze/Dramin/Parker six-man matches to lead up to the blow off and Parker turning and Quinn turning on Wayne and all the myriad of greatness you could have matching all these guys up against each other. Quality wrestling. Yes it is.

$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$$+$+$+$+$

THE DEATH VALLEY PLAYAZ.
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