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The 7 - Guest Columns - Fifteen years ago today: Herb Kunze's Wrestling TidBits
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CRZ
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#1 Posted on 29.3.05 1452.17
Reposted on: 29.3.12 1453.30
As part of an archive I'm building (and will announce sometime in the next decade), here's YOUR latest WRESTLEMANIA VI NEWS courtesy of r.s.p-w's original weekly reporter, Herb Kunze:

originally posted by Herb Kunze to rec.sport.pro-wrestling

From: hekunze@watmsg.waterloo.edu (Herb Kunze)
Newsgroups: rec.sport.pro-wrestling
Subject: Wrestling TidBits - 03/29
Keywords: Wrestling...
Message-ID: <35780@watmath.waterloo.edu>
Date: 29 Mar 90 20:58:43 GMT
Sender: daemon@watmath.waterloo.edu
Distribution: rec
Lines: 151
Posted: Thu Mar 29 21:58:43 1990


- WWF Exodus: Red Rooster (to Rooster heaven; who'll dare touch this
guy?), Tony Schiavone (back to the NWA).

- Seems that the Midnight Express and Jim Cornette are still having problems
with the NWA bookers who still want to split up the act. It's rumoured
that Stan, Bobby, and Jim may just leave the organization. I wouldn't
blame them since they haven't been put to proper use in a year. I mean
they set up this feud with Pillman & Zenk and then downplayed it when it
could be the hottest thing they have going. Jeez.

- Yup, as we all would have guessed, Norman's box contained Abdullah The
Butcher, who'll hang around till mid summer.

- It seems that Arn Anderson just ain't healing all that fast. Rumour has
him out for up to a year.

- WWF Bound: Rumours have Paul Diamond jumping from the AWA to the NWA
after WrestleMania. Hopefully he'll reform a team with Pat Tanaka.

- Well, it's sad to say but the CNWA seems to be going downhill. Although
they've listed some good talent as coming in, these names have yet to
show, leaving only smaller league players in the organization. This is
great for them because they actually get to work some good angles and I
am starting to see a fair bit of potential in some of them. But it's sad
when compared to the awesome success that Stampede Wrestling once had.
Until things pick up (I'm still optimistic), I won't bother posting
anything about the CNWA.

- The Ultimate Warrior was on Arsenio Hall last night. Arsenio introduced
him with just a few minutes left in the program - I guess he blows up
quickly during interviews too. After running through the audience and
turning over Arsenio's furniture, the Warrior actually sat still for a
few seconds. I really don't understand how the grunting, growling, wild
animal image he brought across is supposed to keep him a babyface.
Arsenio asked him if he wanted to be called "Ultimate" or "Warrior" or
what. The Warrior rambled that only those who have made the sacrifice
can call him UW, others call him Ultimate Warrior. Huh? Arsenio had
some great facial expressions during the ~3 question interview,
expressions that said "What the hell is he saying??" It didn't work for
me.

- There was an interesting article in the Toronto Star on the weekend. As
you might imagine, with Toronto being the host city for WrestleMania
every pseudo-journalist/quasi-fan is writing some sort of wrestling
article. This one had some revealing quotes from Steve Planamenta,
Manager of Media Relations for TitanSports. It opened with:
"We see ourselves as a family organization, along the lines of Disney.
When you go into a Disney property you see the Mouse ears, you hear the
music, you recognize the characters. It's clean. It's neat. And you
know you're in Disneyland."
The writer goes on to say that most of the wrestling world is holding
its breath in anticipation of the WM main event. "So am I," says Steve
Planamenta. "Who knows how it'll turn out? I'm as interested as the
next person. But the strength of our product is that we are able to
change it to meet the changing demands of the fans. Our demographics
show that the Ultimate Warrior appeals to the younger fans; the kids, the
ones who are starting to come to the matches. The audience of the
future, if you will." Hmmm. You wouldn't want the audience of the
future's future champion to lose to the current champion, would you?
"Our demographics are completely different from those of other
quote-unquote professional wrestling organizations. Most of theirs are
still the midnight sneakers; males 18 to 24. Ours are 38% women, and a
lot of children. The message is, we're delivering mainstream family
sports entertainment. So far, Hulk has been the perfect symbol of that
product."
The writer goes on to speak to Randy Savage. Personal questions?
Sorry. Never whether his name is really is really Randy Poffo, ex-St.
Louis Cardinals baseball player. Nor whether he is truly married to the
lovely Elizabeth, his erstwhile manager. Savage chooses to concentrate
on his personal philosophy. "Everybody's their own manager. TCOB.
That's Take Care Of your Body. If you don't work, too bad, in sports or
any walk of life. Follow a 24-hour-a-day plan. Check in, get up, go to
a gym. I'm a bobcat type mentality. It's a lifestyle. Everybody
doesn't have to work out with me, but achievers like to hang around
achievers. Discipline, you said the right word. If you're not
disciplined, you're not world class. Hey, it's rough, but it's a
lucrative field. You gotta stay hungry. And you keep you're feet on the
ground it means there's less distance to fall." Blah, blah, blah.
Next we talk about Vince McMahon, who brought marketing into wrestling.
He put seven masters of sports administration in his promotions
department. Vince McMahon made the Hulk. And by heaven and marketing
research, Vince McMahon can break him. "What Vince McMahon did," Steve
Planamenta explains, "is take the product of the past and infuse it with
a new kind of excitement. A type of charisma that he had the idea for,
that no one else had, or could have, put forth. And provide a product
that gives full value for the consumer's discretionary entertainment
dollar."
And to sum it up, Steve says, "Can this last forever? I hope so.
Because I believe that we'll always have the vision to keep the product
changing. So we can give the fans what we know they want."

- WrestleMania VI Predictions: I figured I'd look into my crystal ball and
see what kind of predictions I come up with:
1. Hart Foundation will walk over the Bolsheviks and win as faces.
2. Rowdy Roddy Piper will win by DQ/countout over Bad News Brown; one
last hurrah before Piper enters the TV world with Jesse Ventura in
"Tag Team" which has apparently been picked up by CBS.
3. Big Boss Man will pin Akeem.
4. Curt Hennig will beat Brutus Beefcake with the help of Lanny Poffo.
5. Hercules will do a stretcher job for the Earthquake.
6. Barbarian will beat Tito Santana, since he'll presumably need a
singles push.
7. Rick Rude will pin Jimmy Snuka.
8. Dino Bravo will pin Duggan. Duggan is being downgraded, and Bravo
needs to redeem himself after jobbing for Hogan and Warrior.
9. Rick Martel will walk right over Koko B. Ware.
10. The Rockers will probably lose to the Orient Express in a screw job
ending (salt?). Then again, Sato is apparently missing cards (with
Fuji subbing) because of his involvement in Japan and Paul Diamond
is supposed to be coming in. I wouldn't mind seeing Sato do a job,
allowing Tanaka to join up with Diamond in the near future.
11. Dusty Rhodes and Sapphire will beat Randy Savage and Sherri Martel
when Sapphire pins Sherri. This will lead into an argument between
Savage and Sherri...to be resolved later.
12. Ted DiBiase will get a screw job win over Jake Roberts, who will
probably DDT either Ted or Virgil after the match while the other one
runs off with the million dollar belt. This will set Jake up nicely
for a future feud with Martel (will he be part of the screw job?) and
Ted is of course going to move on to the BBM.
13. Demolition will regain the tag straps from Andre & Haku. I hate to
say it, but Andre's retirement is definitely fast approaching. I
agree that he'll probably go out after a face turn. I wouldn't be
surprised if the Hart Foundation play a role in the after match
scene. Perhaps they'll watch the match from ringside, having made
their world title aspirations known a short while back - this will be
noted as a scouting mission by the announcers. Then, after the
match, when Heenan is getting pounded by Demolition (or Andre? nah)
the Harts will enter the ring to save him, solidifying their
allegiance with Heenan, becoming heel number one contenders, and
washing over the loss of Andre & Haku (who will also be all but done
after the title loss).
14. The Hogan/Warrior match is tough to call. I think there will be a
definite pinfall victory for one man, although it might be
controversial. And I have to pick Hogan to be that man.

In the drivel between matches, look for the SheepWhackers to interrupt
Greg Valentine and Honky Tonk Man and smash their guitars over their
heads. I'm hoping that the Rona Barrett interview with Elizabeth will be
interrupted by Sherri Martel, and Savage already upset with Sherri about
the loss, will come to Liz' rescue. Savage has been badly misused since
his WWF title reign, and a face turn is in the wind.

Herb...

***********************************************************************
* Herb Kunze * "Whether you like it or not, *
* Applied Math Department * learn to live with it, 'cause *
* University of Waterloo * I'm the best thing going today!" *
* hekunze@watmsg.waterloo.edu * - Ric 'Nature Boy' Flair *
***********************************************************************

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thecubsfan
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#2 Posted on 29.3.05 1552.18
Reposted on: 29.3.12 1553.23

    14. The Hogan/Warrior match is tough to call. I think there will be a
    definite pinfall victory for one man, although it might be
    controversial. And I have to pick Hogan to be that man.


Weird seeing the finish as a question; it's seemed more like an obvious outcome after the fact, with Hogan being phased out at the time.
Evil Buddha
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#3 Posted on 1.4.05 1017.51
Reposted on: 1.4.12 1020.07
2. Rowdy Roddy Piper will win by DQ/countout over Bad News Brown; one last hurrah before Piper enters the TV world with Jesse Ventura in "Tag Team" which has apparently been picked up by CBS.


Whoa, what is this, some pilot that Roddy and the Body did together that I was completely unaware of? Screams of bizarre mismatched-buddy cop show, but details would be appreciated.
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#4 Posted on 1.4.05 1056.51
Reposted on: 1.4.12 1058.13
I remember, in my early days of being on the Internet, disliking Herb Kunze. I always thought he was way too negative about almost every aspect of wrestling (obviously with his disgust for WWF foremost). Of course he had every reason to be like this, and I was still pretty new and defensive of wrestling and the WWF, so I would get upset.

But, alot like my situation with Chris Hyatte, I would have to read Herb every week. I just had to see what Kunze would bitch about this week. It would reinforce my somewhat misguided beliefs that wrestling and its personalities were better than how Herb was portraying them to be.

Concerning WM VI, Herb seemed to be almost right on with every prediction. I would not have picked Mr. Perfect to lose either, and of course to me the Hogan job was really surprising.
CRZ
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#5 Posted on 1.4.05 1057.06
Reposted on: 1.4.12 1058.36
    Originally posted by Evil Buddha
    2. Rowdy Roddy Piper will win by DQ/countout over Bad News Brown; one last hurrah before Piper enters the TV world with Jesse Ventura in "Tag Team" which has apparently been picked up by CBS.


    Whoa, what is this, some pilot that Roddy and the Body did together that I was completely unaware of? Screams of bizarre mismatched-buddy cop show, but details would be appreciated.

http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0271812/
JustinShapiro
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#6 Posted on 2.4.05 0034.47
Reposted on: 2.4.12 0048.22
    Originally posted by Cubs
    Weird seeing the finish as a question; it's seemed more like an obvious outcome after the fact, with Hogan being phased out at the time.


You'd think, but I guess the thought of Hogan doing a job (since he had theretofore done zero) seemed far outside the realm of likelihood. Por ejemplo, in the Observer the week before the show, Dave said the only three finishes he could realistically see happening are

1) big boot, legdrop, Hogan's hand raised, just like every other Hogan match.
2) Warrior winning by turning heel.
3) double DQ when every great bumping heel on the roster (Savage, DiBiase, Perfect, Rude) runs in to bounce around for both of them and end the show on a hot note.

Then the week after the show, he was like "Holy shit! No, I mean, holy shit! Not only was the match good, but Hogan did a job in the middle of the ring!"
Wolfram J. Paulovich
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#7 Posted on 2.4.05 0043.07
Reposted on: 2.4.12 0056.57
    Originally posted by CRZ
    As part of an archive I'm building (and will announce sometime in the next decade)

Even though I wasn't reading online wrestling news when this was originally written, I still found this incredibly fascinating. If you can cut a year or two off that decade timeline for the archive, please do. Even though I don't get a nostalgia kick from reading these old opinions, it's interesting to see what we now consider "certainties" being painted as a crapshoot, and to see what was then the prevailing wisdom clash with what is now our prevailing wisdom.
BigSteve
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#8 Posted on 2.4.05 1120.43
Reposted on: 2.4.12 1126.38
Is this the oldest piece of wrestling news/commentary still floating around on the internet?

Pretty cool reading something that's fifteen years old now.
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#9 Posted on 2.4.05 1211.51
Reposted on: 2.4.12 1212.09
Has it really been fifteen years since WM6? My goodness...that's when I really started to get hooked on pro wresting.
CRZ
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#10 Posted on 11.4.05 1516.47
Reposted on: 11.4.12 1523.58
This thread's getting a few referrals from "Herb Kunze" web searches, so I guess it's time to mention that the (as complete as it's going to get) Wrestling TidBits archive can be found over on the www.rspw.org homepage. Herb, of course, didn't write me back when I emailed him asking for his blessing to reprint...so I'm going to assume that his not explicitly saying "no" to me is just as good as granting me permission. ;-)

There's also a "News From Dayton" archive for fans of the young Rick Scaia, as well as a very spotty and incomplete John Petrie archive (so if anybody has the rest of the Petrie stuff stashed on their hard drive, or can get in touch with him, PLEASE let me know!)



(edited by CRZ on 11.4.05 1518)
Big Bad
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#11 Posted on 12.4.05 0216.10
Reposted on: 12.4.12 0217.27
Man, it just dawned on me that I've been reading some of these guys (Petrie, Scaia, Kunze) for nearly a decade. What next, a Scoops retrospective featuring a news update about Yokozuna joining the Hart Foundation?
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