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#1 Posted on 23.12.04 0951.22 Reposted on: 23.12.11 0952.58
TechCentralStation decided to run some, er, remixed versions of a Christmas Carol that were quite humorous, especially these three: Terry McAuliffe: The Ghost of Christmas Past shows Scrooge a presidential campaign that was perfectly executed, with no mistakes whatsoever, at all. The Ghost of Christmas Past shows Bush beating Scrooge because HE'S A FILTHY, FILTHY LIAR, AND HOW CAN ANYONE BELIEVE HIS LIES, AND, ALSO, VOTE FRAUD! We don't actually see what The Ghost of Christmas Future shows Scrooge, but Scrooge assures anyone who cares to listen that the future entails a Scrooge victory in 2008 because THE AMERICAN PEOPLE WILL NO LONGER ACCEPT CONSERVATIVE LIES. Scrooge spends Christmas hitting the lecture circuit and seeking consulting work, with strangely limited success.
Ayn Rand: The ruggedly handsome and weirdly articulate Ebeneezer Scrooge is a successful executive held back by the corrupt morality of a society that hates success and fails to understand the value of selfishness. So Scrooge explains that value in a 272-page soliloquy. Deep down, Scrooge's enemies know that he is right, but they resent him out of a sense of their own inferiority. Several hot sex scenes and unlikely monologues later, Scrooge triumphs over all adversity -- except a really mean review by Whittaker Chambers. Meanwhile, Tiny Tim croaks. Socialized medicine is to blame.
CBS News: After the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future issue their independent review report, Scrooge grudgingly admits that his remarks about prisons, workhouses, and "the surplus population" were inadequately sourced. Scrooge takes no further action. Tiny Tim dies. Scrooge runs a five-part series on "England's Impending Health Care Crisis."
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