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The 7 - Pro Wrestling - Much love for Simon Dean
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Destrucity
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#1 Posted on 15.12.04 1022.10
Reposted on: 15.12.11 1022.13
Everybody hates Simon Dean. Everybody. At least that's what you'd think from the Internet. People like Scott Keith dismiss him without even going into the reasons why, like of course you're supposed to realize he's worthless and embarrassing -- what are you, some sort of moron? He rarely even gets analyzed, even -- everybody blows him off right off the bat. "Simon Dean? I am embarrassed to be a wrestling fan. Moving on ..."

Except here's the thing: I think Simon Dean is really entertaining. Really really entertaining. His promo style is comedy gold, much as it's always been, only better. You can't teach delivery like that. His gimmick is obnoxiously wonderful. He's got such a great Jersey-guy charm. His wrestling, what little I've seen of it since the ECW days, which I honestly don't really remember very well, is pretty entertaining, too. His ads were great, and the in-ring stuff has been mostly very good, too, excepting the Rosey business. I don't have any problem with cheap heat if it's done right -- if cheap heat were always bad, nobody would try it. And if you listen to the crowd, most of which thinks Bob Ryder is either a guy who owns a lot of yellow trucks or the kid from Boy Meets World, he's sort of -- dare I say it? -- over. (The Scott Keiths of the world will tell you he's not, but I bet Scott Keith would write that with the volume turned down.)

Yeah, the whole thing is old school. So what? Don't we need a little more old school? I know, I know, there's Mordecai and all that, but Mordecai isn't real old school -- he wouldn't have flown back in 1988. Too edgy. Simon would have. If you wanted to go and erase all old-school gimmicks from history, we wouldn't have Ted DiBiase kicking a basketball away from a little kid. On the rare occasion that someone actually does try to come up with reasons Simon sucks instead of just writing him off, the Bodydonnas invariably come up. But Simon isn't a Bodydonna. Same concept, sure, but the Bodydonnas were done horribly. Simon is being booked much better. And sorry, Candido fans, but Bucci is much better at being a smarmy jerk -- not to mention that he's getting much more opportunity to let it show.

I'm not saying this to change anybody's mind. If you hate Simon Dean, you're going to continue to hate Simon Dean. But isn't there anyone else out there who doesn't hate on Simon? And why is everybody so quick to attack him or, worse, so reluctant even to think about him?
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davidlister
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#2 Posted on 15.12.04 1437.31
Reposted on: 15.12.11 1437.38
(deleted by davidlister on 15.12.04 1438)
Matt Tracker
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#3 Posted on 15.12.04 1449.07
Reposted on: 15.12.11 1449.56
    Originally posted by Destrucity
    And why is everybody so quick to attack him or, worse, so reluctant even to think about him?


I'd boo him too if I paid $30 a seat, filed through the arena traffic and put up with signs blocking my view while I'm treated to a 10-minute skit of him selling a fake product and attacking fake fans.

The taped infomercials got his gimmick across in a quicker, cleaner manner.



CANADIAN BULLDOG
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#4 Posted on 15.12.04 1452.39
Reposted on: 15.12.11 1452.41
Hey, I think he's got a lot potential. But he's got to start delivering in the ring (not just on the mic) and get rid of the ridiculous in-ring sketches.
TheMikeSays
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#5 Posted on 15.12.04 1600.53
Reposted on: 15.12.11 1601.54
I don't find him funny in the least. You can only make so many unedgy fat jokes before they get boring. Like, two.

What irks me more is his introduction into the WWE. Simon is like Kane, as in Kane was NOT Isaac Yankem. Mike Bucci's past as Nova in ECW is not recognized, he is simply Simon Dean, fitness guru. Simon Dean, businessman with a little amateur wrestling background. Not professional athlete. I don't see how he can be bought as a pro wrestler, able to stand his own with any guy on the roster, even the Hurricane.

Compare that to Kurt Angle, who was also brought in with an amateur background, several collegiate wrestling trophies, a Gold Medal from the Olympics, and a few months of professional wrestling training, and it still took him about 2-3 months to develop into something closely resembling a wrestler capable of going toe-to-toe with Chris Jericho and Chris Benoit. Not exactly a similar situation. The era of side-job gimmicks went out a long time ago, and with good reason.

Those reasons are why I don't like Simon Dean.
Freeway
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#6 Posted on 15.12.04 1727.17
Reposted on: 15.12.11 1727.21
WHY I DON'T LIKE SIMON DEAN:

It's a stupid gimmick. Instead of coming up with a character for him, they gave him a zany gimmick. "He hates fat people! Comedy gold!"
Mild Mannered Madman
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#7 Posted on 16.12.04 0037.51
Reposted on: 16.12.11 0039.13
    Originally posted by Freeway420
    WHY I DON'T LIKE SIMON DEAN:

    It's a stupid gimmick. Instead of coming up with a character for him, they gave him a zany gimmick. "He hates fat people! Comedy gold!"


He came up with it himself. WWE Creative apparently has little to no ideas for new talent. So he came up with it so he'd get called up after being in developmental for a couple years. Rob Conway did the same thing with his gimmick.

And lots of people dis Dean for one reason. He was Nova. Keep in mind 99% of them haven't seen him wrestle in 3 years. He was Nova, so he can never be good.



(edited by Mild Mannered Madman on 15.12.04 2239)
TheMikeSays
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#8 Posted on 16.12.04 0129.11
Reposted on: 16.12.11 0130.48
Bucci came up with it himself? That's great...he tricked the WWE into bringing him up. Good for him.
too-old-now
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#9 Posted on 16.12.04 0912.03
Reposted on: 16.12.11 0912.23
I have already noted in a couple of Raw threads that I find him entertaining some weeks, annoying in others. I can't put an exact figure on it, it depends on what else is going on that week. If there is also 10 minutes of diva crap, it'll bother me more. I agree that like many stories the 'E puts out, this is heavier on dialog and weaker on action. Of course, it's very "old school" to beat any storyline to death...

There is a place for comedy even if it is at the expense of fat people. Being a "person of size" myself I have no problem with the gimmick, but then again as I found the Austin Powers character Fat Bastard funny as hell, while I know many who found it very offensive.

Then again, I'm one of the guys who liked Eugene from the get go and I also enjoyed Rosey's S.H.I.T. angle for the comedy. No, I don't want to see it for 15 minutes every week, nor more than 1 or 2 segments a week.
TopTenPro
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#10 Posted on 16.12.04 1929.14
Reposted on: 16.12.11 1929.26
Not that I think Dean has the potential of the Million Dollar Man, but the two are starting out the same. We sat through Million Dollar Ted's months long promos, then for a debut we got months long of in house interviews. The big difference back than was most interviews were done outside the ring on a little stage, but the fans were still as fake as Simon's fans.

To anyone that is a Simon hater they should give the guy a chance, or boo the hell out him, that is what they want. He does need to look out for the notorious X-Pac heat, because he is on the boarder now.
Snookum
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#11 Posted on 16.12.04 2131.44
Reposted on: 16.12.11 2131.59
Just to throw this in: after Nova debuted on RAW as Simon Dean in the fake ads, Nova came out as Simon Dean at one of the OVW television tapings.

He came to the ring with his band of heels, the Jersey Shore Crew. The Crew is ticked off and refusing to even look at Nova, as he smiles and gives the thumb's up and waves to the audience, all in the Simon Dean mode.

In the interview, the Crew wanted to know why Nova would sell out and do the whole Simon Dean thing. Nova then rips off his Simon Dean exercise sweats to reveal his regular wrestling gear that he used as Nova in OVW. He then got the mic to explain that, sure, being Simon Dean may suck, but at least he was up in WWE and not going to remain stuck forever in Louisville like the rest of them were.

Thought it was a nice way for Nova to discuss the dual nature of his time in OVW and WWE. Not to mention allowing him to somehow turn the promo into a way to get face heat from the audience that night (a real tightrope when he was also saying that he didn't want to remain in Louisville).
DrewDewce
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#12 Posted on 21.12.04 2057.22
Reposted on: 21.12.11 2059.01
Jim Cornette (one of the main creative forces behind OVW) has had to do this numerous times with callups affecting their storylines. The Basham Bros explanation was a personal favourite of mine.

Here's the transcript of Nova/Simon's promo from the 10/16/04 episode of OVW's weekly show:

"Idol: Are you for real or what?

Nova: Let me see if I can find the guy youíre talking to, Ďcause I know itís not Simon Dean. If youíre gonna use my stuff like that kid you better get it right. Are you fuhr reahl? Now, you got it right. I told you that I would try to get you three to RAW with me, and thatís what I did. I made the call, and let me give you the scoop on what went down brah. I asked Ďem, I said, ďWhat do you think about The Idol? Heís big, heís great, heís a good looking guy, heís a good wrestler,Ē and I agree bro, but yíknow what they said? They said you were a complete idiot. Hey, it ainít my words. They said you had rocks in your head and that you probably couldnít even read a map. Donít kill the messenger.

You (to Danny Inferno). Iíve known you longer than anyone else in this building. I consider you one of my family, buy you know what they said about you? You know what they dropped? I ainít gonna sugarcoat it. They said that your body is buggy-whipped. They said you look like crap. Yeah. They said you gotta get your ass into the gym and outta the nightclubs, and I couldnít agree more. Because if you do that, youíre gonna have a very long and prosperous career buddy.

And you, DeNucci, we go way back. I should be in jail for some of the things Iíve done to you. But , to be quite honest, I told them all about your special talent, and uh, thereís nothing they can do for ya.

Thatís what I told them. Now guys, I have waited my entire life for this chance and I am finally ready to realize my dream, and itís just not your time yet. Okay? So letís just go to the back, sit down, talk this thing out, weíll come up with a game plan, and Iím telling you, you guys will be WWE SuperStars someday.

Idol: Go ahead! Turn your back! Walk away! You havenít worked as hard as us! You havenít sacrificed as much as us! And just like all these humps, you have earned nothing! Not a thing!

Nova: First of all, these people might be humps, but theyíre MY humps. Thatís My word. Youíre gonna talk to me about earning? Earning is not showing up on Wednesday night and using hairspray and hoing yourself out to the boys in the back. Itís not. Earning, is working your ass off for your entire life to get the respect of your peers because they respect your ability inside the ring and out of it, thatís earning something. Working is not calling up your buddy and asking him to get you into OVW, itís not. Working is not showing up to the Cheetah and getting to the front of the line because youíre an OVW wrestler. Itís not. Working is showing up and getting into the ring for thirteen years with broken bones, two hundred staples, and so many damn stitches Iíve lost count, thatís working. And youíre gonna talk to me about sacrifice? Sacrifice is not getting paid to come to the air-conditioned Davis arena, Aaron, itís not. Getting paid so much money that you can spend the extra on low-budget pornos and video games and datiní dirty biker moms so you can play father to her two stupid kids, thatís not sacrifice. Sacrifice is working when youíre fiancť breaks up with you at nineteen years old and crushes your whole life. Sacrificing is missing your grandmotherís funeral because you gotta go to a show and make fifty dollars. Sacrificing is having the company that you work for go out of business, yet youíre still owed fifty-two thousand dollars, but yet you keep pressing on and on because you know in your heart you can make it. And (sniff) and finally, after thirteen years of earning, and working and sacrificing, goddammit, Simon Says that I am a WWE SuperStar.

Now, to put it to rest, I was gonna be cool and try and help, and I was coming out here tonight to give you this Aaron (holds up his visor), to make you the leader of the Jersey Shore Crew, because I was grooming you to be a leader, but you know something? Theyíre right bro, you are a complete frigginí moron. And it ainít gonna be you either you lazy sonuvabitch, or you ho. Fuhgeddabout it. So we can end this one of two ways: We can go to the left, and that means we can be real peaceful about it, say what we gotta say, and I wish you the best of luck, or we can go to the right (makes a fist) and we know exactly how that way ends. Itís your choice."

If you don't know what happened next . . .
Snookum
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#13 Posted on 21.12.04 2131.30
Reposted on: 21.12.11 2134.27
Wow, Drew! I'm impressed that you went through the work of transcribbing all that. It also shows that my memory was a little short on that as well.

Still, a great little speech by Nova there. Thanks for posting it.
DrewDewce
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Y!:
#14 Posted on 22.12.04 1134.00
Reposted on: 22.12.11 1134.00
It was the best promo I saw this year, and most people will never see it. Had to try to give people some reason to give Nova/Simon a chance maybe.
Matt Tracker
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#15 Posted on 22.12.04 1146.33
Reposted on: 22.12.11 1156.35
It's inevitable, one hopes, that the 'Simon Says' catchphrase is used on RAW.
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