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22.10.07 1702
The 7 - Music - I take the children to see Aaron Carter for free downtown RVA
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DEAN RASMUSSEN
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#1 Posted on 4.12.04 0936.03
Reposted on: 4.12.11 0937.36
I nearly kill some poor motherfucker who decided that I wasn't supposed to break the law and create a new turning lane while trying to get the fuck off Canal St. If you wanted life to be perfect and fair, you wouldn't being working downtown so roll with it, my anonymous brother. I use this same logic on myself when we opt to eat some hot dogs from the street vendors. Terlit of Hatred HOOOOO!

I had fun annoying my children. The city of Richmond truly hates me because this was during the Grand Illumination of Downtown so the hour leading up to Aaron Carter and Fan 3 was an endless array of singor-songwritors that played one example of acoustic Dave Matthews-influenced bad folklike music and then each played a Christmas carol in said style. Jesus, my wife was ready to throw the boy's dirty diaper at them. Actually, it was good for me because by the time the third vegan woman with a 12-string had started her Alanis Morriset-styled Ode To Fuzziness, I was quite ready for mallrap stylings of Aaron Carter to deliver me to something I at least know my children will dig. Then this woman dressed in an elaborate gown sang some Christmas carols and it perfectly fine. Old Fashioned Santa came out and counted down the Grand Illumination- and it was a glorious wonderland of lights and it was a sweet moment to be connected with the other bedraggled parents in attendence. I then start say to my 7 year old, "DON'T! GET! ILLUMINATED!" every five minutes. She finally punches me in the face and I can die happy.

After the annoying acoustic shit is over and everything is illuminated, Fan 3 comes out. She is a teen girl rapper with two dancers and it was like watching a 16 year old blond girl rap for 20 minutes. My daughters danced around and screamed on cue. My son decided, "Fuck all this" and went to sleep. My favortie part was the 14 year olds hatin' on Fan 3- as if they didn't come out to see fuckin' AARON CARTER. I wanted to slap them for being brainless idiots. Then I saw that one of them had a fucking BAD BRAINS t-shirt on and I laufed and laufed and laufed a bitter old man lauf to myself. Then I realized that being a teenager particularly sucks at the ages where you give up Aaron Carter and get roped into being "Hardcore". Poor saps. At least I had Molly Hatchet, Lynard Skynard and Van Halen to transition me from the music of my childhood into the music of the rest of my life.

Aaron Carter came out and I was digging this at first because it was more like a acrobatic team than anything else. He started off with an assisted backflip and his five dancers all did impressive breakdancing moves. My seven year old danced the whole time. My 5 yead old had had enough after the first song- though she had spoke of nothing but seeing Aaron Carter from the moment it was announced for the first of 897 times on Radio Disney in the last four weeks. He sang a tender ballad with was quite the third hand Boyz II Men but he wasn't lip-synching and he could actaully sing in that faux soul boyband way. He did a perfectly fine mallrap version of "Run Run Rudolph" for the Radio Disney Christmas record and did "I Want Candy" for his big finale. His dancers were fun and made it more like a Bob Fosse teen revue. My oldest had a really good time. I got to annoy all of them by randomly yelling "HOOO, GO HOUSE!" and throwing my hands in the air like I just don't care. My oldest would grab my hand and give me that "Jesus Christ, how did get related to this shithead" look that all kids give their parents at some point. It was great. At one point, Aaron Carter says, "Now were going to go Old School" and I figure he is gonna bring out a DJ and some live cutting while he rocked the mic like Spoonie Gee. He meant "old School" as in "My first record"- so now Old School starts in 2000. Duly noted.

The best part was that it was mercifully short. It was over by 8. We were home by 9. I was asleep by 9:30. It's good to be old.
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redsoxnation
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#2 Posted on 4.12.04 1124.18
Reposted on: 4.12.11 1125.05
    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
    The best part was that it was mercifully short. It was over by 8. We were home by 9. I was asleep by 9:30. It's good to be old.








Wait, no Booze Review to Ease the Pain of Teenybopper and Vegans? For shame DEAN, for shame.
DEAN RASMUSSEN
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#3 Posted on 4.12.04 1146.28
Reposted on: 4.12.11 1146.44
    Originally posted by redsoxnation
      Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
      The best part was that it was mercifully short. It was over by 8. We were home by 9. I was asleep by 9:30. It's good to be old.








    Wait, no Booze Review to Ease the Pain of Teenybopper and Vegans? For shame DEAN, for shame.


I try not to get drunk in front of my kids. Plus, if I started drinking last night, I would still be trying to drink it all away a day later.
odessasteps
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#4 Posted on 4.12.04 1442.21
Reposted on: 4.12.11 1443.56

So, are they not allowed in the room when you watch SD?
DEAN RASMUSSEN
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#5 Posted on 4.12.04 1445.02
Reposted on: 4.12.11 1445.13
    Originally posted by odessasteps

    So, are they not allowed in the room when you watch SD?


They're asleep by 8.
CRZ
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#6 Posted on 4.12.04 1528.35
Reposted on: 4.12.11 1528.48
Moved to Music (where DEAN will never find it)
Ruby Trax
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#7 Posted on 4.12.04 1639.43
Reposted on: 4.12.11 1640.52
I'm surprised A.C. (I can call him that) is still doing "I Want Candy" for the young ones when he's all '80s new romantic smutty in last month's L'uomo Vogue. But the little girls understand, etc.

http://worldofwonder.net/wimage/loumo_carter01a.jpg
http://worldofwonder.net/wimage/loumo_carter02a.jpg
http://worldofwonder.net/wimage/loumo_carter03a.jpg
http://worldofwonder.net/wimage/loumo_carter04a.jpg

The one in the leather bondage ape mask (04a) is truly a sight to behold. Please see to it that these become pin-ups on your daughters' bedroom walls.
DEAN RASMUSSEN
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#8 Posted on 4.12.04 1727.01
Reposted on: 4.12.11 1729.01
    Originally posted by CRZ
    Moved to Music (where DEAN will never find it)

HA! It only took fifty or sixty minutes!
Bullitt
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#9 Posted on 4.12.04 2224.15
Reposted on: 4.12.11 2225.46
    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
    At one point, Aaron Carter says, "Now were going to go Old School" and I figure he is gonna bring out a DJ and some live cutting while he rocked the mic like Spoonie Gee.


This line, quite literally, had me laughing out loud.

You're clearly a lot hipper than you give yourself credit for, DEAN.
DEAN RASMUSSEN
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#10 Posted on 4.12.04 2253.18
Reposted on: 4.12.11 2256.50
    Originally posted by Bullitt
      Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
      At one point, Aaron Carter says, "Now were going to go Old School" and I figure he is gonna bring out a DJ and some live cutting while he rocked the mic like Spoonie Gee.


    This line, quite literally, had me laughing out loud.

    You're clearly a lot hipper than you give yourself credit for, DEAN.


I think line shows that I am very old and unhip.
DJ FrostyFreeze
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#11 Posted on 5.12.04 0019.02
Reposted on: 5.12.11 0021.19
    Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
    ...so now Old School starts in 2000. Duly noted.

I love how my local rap station goes all "Put the kiddies to bed, cause we're about to drop some OLD SCHOOL FLAVA on your ASS!", then they'll play "The Thong Song" or something.

Comedy.
JoshMann
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#12 Posted on 6.12.04 0955.12
Reposted on: 6.12.11 0955.15
    Originally posted by DJ FrostyFreeze
      Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN
      ...so now Old School starts in 2000. Duly noted.

    I love how my local rap station goes all "Put the kiddies to bed, cause we're about to drop some OLD SCHOOL FLAVA on your ASS!", then they'll play "The Thong Song" or something.

    Comedy.


Would it be wrong at this point to declare 1994's Enter The Wu-Tang as the current dividing line between Old And New School? Besides, that also falls in line with my theory (as it's almost 2005) that there's an 11-year Statute Of Limitations before something can be properly referred to as retro.



(edited by Blanket Jackson on 6.12.04 1055)
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