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Brian P. Dermody
Liverwurst
Moderator
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Since: 20.9.02
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#1 Posted on 25.10.04 0226.50
Reposted on: 25.10.11 0228.16
Someone gave me a free Zippo lighter yesterday. All I had to do was tell a Marlboro cigarettes sales rep that I smoke. Even though I don't. And then I had to fill out a form. My friend thinks it was a military industrial complex trick to make sure I'm called when the draft comes.

Surely big tobacco wouldn't sell me out like that.
Promote this thread!
Jaguar
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#2 Posted on 27.10.04 1129.25
Reposted on: 27.10.11 1129.27
{ Sorry, you must be logged in to see this text! }

-Jag

Right tags, no workaround. Damn.

(edited by Jaguar on 27.10.04 1229)
Whitebacon
Boudin blanc
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#3 Posted on 2.11.04 0101.49
Reposted on: 2.11.11 0106.36
Who're the Chefs?
PalpatineW
Lap cheong
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#4 Posted on 8.11.04 1113.54
Reposted on: 8.11.11 1118.14
Great googly moogly...

A classic of advertising.






(edited by PalpatineW on 8.11.04 1214)

(edited by PalpatineW on 8.11.04 1215)
Torchslasher
Knackwurst
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#5 Posted on 8.11.04 1143.55
Reposted on: 8.11.11 1145.06
I love quoting movies and I love "using" pictures. It's swell.
Big G
Potato korv
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From: the people who brought you Steel Magnolias....

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#6 Posted on 9.11.04 2030.51
Reposted on: 9.11.11 2031.47
Ahem,


mememememememememe


That is all

EDIT: So it works with full graphics but not on dial-up. I guess that makes sense.

(edited by Big G on 9.11.04 1833)
JayJayDean
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#7 Posted on 11.11.04 1323.13
Reposted on: 11.11.11 1323.27
test test TEST abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
rockstar
Salami
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#8 Posted on 15.11.04 0126.02
Reposted on: 15.11.11 0126.54
Every nation has some one implausible cultural icon that speaks a profound truth about its society.

The United States has Ronald Reagan. Saudi Arabia has Osama bin Laden. Italy has the Pope. Great Britain has James Bond (or perhaps more appropriately, The Prisoner). Japan has Godzilla.

But Mexico has El Santo, so Mexico kicks all their asses. (Except maybe Japan's.)
SeVen ™
Kishke
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#9 Posted on 16.11.04 2010.08
Reposted on: 16.11.11 2010.20
Sleep Talker

November 17th 12:44AM

According to several of my favorite hookers at the Budapest Massage parlor, I am quite the sleep talker. Not believing anyone who constantly steals twenties from my wallet. I set to find out for myself. At first it was very difficult. I had a hard time staying awake while I slept. Then I had the brilliant idea of recording myself while I was sleeping. The following are excerpts from those transcript recordings:

Hello, Clarice.

Come on; just let me put one finger in....

I want that super sized, God damn you!

(In little girl voice) I'm going to have to kill you, again.

It is quite clear to me gentlemen, this project needs more glitter!

Daddy! Aim for his head!

But, it's my turn to play Raggedy Andy.

It will only hurt for a few minutes until the poison finally works its magic.

(With a strange British accent) I believe you have made a finally err in judgment Doctor!

No! Stop eating me! Stupid fucking butterflies!

The razor blade tastes like fire.

Come back Mickey Mouse, I'm sorry!

Sir, how many lumps do you like in your tea?

What time does Punky Brewster come on?

Shit! Stay away from me, fucking butterflies!

(Garbled mumbling)...bullets....garlic bread.

Calvin, are you insane? It takes 7000 volts to properly kill a man

Chrysanthemums are my favorite flowers.

Thank you, Superman!

Arghh, they're everywhere! Run kids! The butterflies are here!

I love you too, Oprah...

Sure you can have my autograph, which tit?

(Little girl's voice) They had to burn, for ignoring at me.

Clarice, wait...I think someone is recording us!



I will need to be studied and have my dreams analyzed, but clearly we can see, I am fucking nuts.



I stand, violated.

November 16th 1:30PM

I knew I was in trouble when I first came into work and all my co-workers were arguing over how they will split up all my office supplies. I was told the senior managers were all waiting for me in the conference room. They said it with such a smug look on their faces. I asked, could they hold off with moving my office furniture out, until I at least find out why they want a conference. Nope, was their reply. OK, I said, while remaining cool, calm, and collected. As soon as I walked away from them I darted into the bathroom and vomited. What a way to start the fucking day! I knew there was no way I was getting through the day without being completely ass raped by my bosses.

I entered the conference room, Shit! They where all drinking orange juice and eating fruit. When they eat healthy stuff that means theyre building up their energy so they can keep the ass rape going all day long.

As I sat down, my 5th boss told me, that himself, and my 2nd boss got togather and decided that we needed to have a new regional motivation seminar and since they heard I am a writer in my spare time, who best to coordinate and write all the guidlines? I smiled, while at the same time trying to hold my scream of terror inside. They all then laughed and my 8th boss said, "I bet you thought we all were going to ass rape you, when we called you in here." "Well," I said relieved; "that means your not?" He stopped laughing, and said; Of course we are!" He sneered, while unbuckling his belt. "It's policy, now go close and lock the door, bitch.

CRZ
Big Brother
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#10 Posted on 17.11.04 0253.37
Reposted on: 17.11.11 0254.47
Hey, do we REALLY need all your posts to be 600 pixels high whether you have 600 pixels' worth of stuff to say or not?

In related news, anybody who REALLY wants to see the bikini chick in your background image all the time COULD just save it to their hard drive instead of looking around for posts you've written.
Oliver
Scrapple
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#11 Posted on 18.11.04 0246.41
Reposted on: 18.11.11 0246.56
    Originally posted by DJ Ran
    Someone gave me a free Zippo lighter yesterday. All I had to do was tell a Marlboro cigarettes sales rep that I smoke. Even though I don't. And then I had to fill out a form. My friend thinks it was a military industrial complex trick to make sure I'm called when the draft comes.

    Surely big tobacco wouldn't sell me out like that.
I wonder if there's any truth to that. Sounds like a conspiracy theory or something...kinda like the old rumour that the Mafia owns the Greyhound Bus company or whatever :-)

HTML is a good thing :-D

Then again, so is the beautiful brunette that picture up there; who's my one and only :-) But I digress....

Just using this as cannon fodder, conversation, and a test for my sig/photo up there



(edited by SOK on 18.11.04 0151)
Toast Jr
Goetta
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Posts: 189/302
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Since: 30.1.03
From: Stafford Springs, CT

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#12 Posted on 18.11.04 1316.59
Reposted on: 18.11.11 1325.13
test?
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