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26.9.09 0404
The 7 - CRZ's World - IT ONLY HAPPENS TO ME
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CRZ
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#1 Posted on 5.10.04 1728.27
Reposted on: 5.10.11 1729.01
While navigating the Downtown Minneapolis skyways, this conversation took place...

OLD WOMAN: You know, you have such long hair. You really should donate it to the Cancer Society.

ME: ...

OLD WOMAN: They could use it!

ME: Umm, thanks? I'll look into it later...

OLD WOMAN: Yours would grow back.

ME: Yeah, I think I'll keep it for now though.

ME (THINKING): I have a 2 o'clock appointment and YOU'RE CRAZY

OLD WOMAN: The cancer society--

ME: Well, gotta keep walking here - thanks!

OLD WOMAN: (unintelligible, trailing off)

I mean, it's nice that she has a cause and all, but....how the hell do you answer THAT?
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JayJayDean
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#2 Posted on 5.10.04 1731.26
Reposted on: 5.10.11 1731.43
If that ever DOES happen, THAT's the pic I wanna see.

EDIT: You COULD've said you were already doing that.

(edited by JayJayDean on 5.10.04 1532)
Sec19Row53
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#3 Posted on 5.10.04 1746.59
Reposted on: 5.10.11 1747.54
    Originally posted by CRZ
    While navigating the Downtown Minneapolis skyways, this conversation took place...

    OLD WOMAN: ...

    I mean, it's nice that she has a cause and all, but....how the hell do you answer THAT?


If you ever want to hear the unvarnished truth, ask anyone under 6 or an old lady. That's what was on her mind, so she spoke.

I'm with JJD - lie to her (or ignore her) -- like she'll ever run into you again.
Roy.
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#4 Posted on 5.10.04 1758.46
Reposted on: 5.10.11 1759.01
    Originally posted by Sec19Row53
    If you ever want to hear the unvarnished truth, ask anyone under 6 or an old lady. That's what was on her mind, so she spoke.


Yeah, they do that, don't they? I volunteered at an Old Folks Home (Adopt a Grandparent in middle school) and my first day with the lady she looked me up and down and said "Boy you're fat." I held back from saying "Boy you're old."

orangeman
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#5 Posted on 5.10.04 1824.00
Reposted on: 5.10.11 1826.33
    Originally posted by CRZ
    I mean, it's nice that she has a cause and all, but....how the hell do you answer THAT?


"No habla ingles."

I've found it effective in cutting off unwelcome conversations or comments from strangers, and I don't come within a million miles of looking Hispanic. Failing that, a blank stare might work.
rinberg
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#6 Posted on 5.10.04 1834.30
Reposted on: 5.10.11 1834.53
How about "It was my mother's dying wish that I never cut my hair." If that fails, ask her if you can borrow $20. That always gets rid of people for me!
cranlsn
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#7 Posted on 5.10.04 1848.06
Reposted on: 5.10.11 1852.56
My sister-in-law donated her hair, they use it for wigs for chemo patients.

But...having a place set up for people to come in is WAY different than stalking people with long hair. You're sure it wasn't DEAN in a disguise?
AWArulz
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#8 Posted on 5.10.04 2025.01
Reposted on: 5.10.11 2025.43
There's a great song on the CD I Scream Sunday by One Bad Pig called "Cut your Hair" I'm thinking, find it and have a listen.

and the old lady? She was just speaking her mind.

Whacha gonna do?
ScreamingHeadGuy
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#9 Posted on 5.10.04 2149.59
Reposted on: 5.10.11 2150.01
Or you could have said "But then I'd lose my superhuman strength!" and bounded away. Of course, I don't know how well you bound, so maybe this wouldn't have worked for you.
Crimedog
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#10 Posted on 5.10.04 2336.34
Reposted on: 5.10.11 2337.41
"I wear my hair long for all those unfortunate people who can't."
The Goon
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#11 Posted on 6.10.04 0828.27
Reposted on: 6.10.11 0829.02
A shove in her face followed by a front sweep of her legs would have sufficed. And then to be cool, you could have thrown a wrestling catchphrase over her prone body, something like "You can't see me!" or "It's not my fault!"

It would make for a good Smoking Gun report, anyway.
Von Maestro
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#12 Posted on 6.10.04 0839.23
Reposted on: 6.10.11 0841.53
    Originally posted by CRZ
    I mean, it's nice that she has a cause and all, but....how the hell do you answer THAT?


You could always just say you keep it long for religious reasons... :-)
JoshMann
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#13 Posted on 6.10.04 0932.37
Reposted on: 6.10.11 0933.16
    Originally posted by orangeman
      Originally posted by CRZ
      I mean, it's nice that she has a cause and all, but....how the hell do you answer THAT?


    "No habla ingles."

    I've found it effective in cutting off unwelcome conversations or comments from strangers, and I don't come within a million miles of looking Hispanic. Failing that, a blank stare might work.


That doesn't work worth a damn where I'm from...the person more likely than not will start rattling away in spanish.

But 99 times out of 100 that trick is all gravy anywhere north of Broward County. :)
Net Hack Slasher
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#14 Posted on 6.10.04 1132.41
Reposted on: 6.10.11 1132.51
Say you'll put your hair on the line only if she agrees to put her mask on the line as well... Oops sorry that's her face!

Err I'm not proud of what I just wrote.
Ryan_A
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#15 Posted on 6.10.04 1135.28
Reposted on: 6.10.11 1135.55
"Ma'am, I'm a cancer survivor. This is MY wig."
CANADIAN BULLDOG
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#16 Posted on 8.10.04 1348.26
Reposted on: 8.10.11 1350.47
I don't know why.... but for some reason you reminded me of a story I hadn't thought of in almost four years...

My son was maybe four or five months old, and I was taking him out for a walk. Being January or so, he was bundled up, but it was quite mild outside (for Toronto). In retrospect, he could have been a little less bundled up, but I was a new father and erring on the side of caution.

ANYWAYS.. some old woman comes up to me and starts SHOUTING that he's dressed too warmly. I'm polite enough and thank her for the advice, silently thinking "And this is any your fucking business.... how?". So then... she looks into his stroller and starts TAKING HIS SHOES OFF!!! As cautious as I was being, it certainly wasn't *that* warm out, nor was it her place to do such a thing. So I got defensive, told her in no uncertain terms to get the hell away from my son, and she starts SCREAMING at the top of her lungs that I'm an incompetent father. In the middle of a crowded sidewalk!

Old people: our national treasure.
spf
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#17 Posted on 8.10.04 1506.30
Reposted on: 8.10.11 1510.35
It's stories like this that remind me of my all time favorite Onion headline. "If this Heat Wave Doesn't Kill the Elderly, I Will."

asteroidboy
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#18 Posted on 9.10.04 1458.32
Reposted on: 9.10.11 1459.02
"Before you die, Grandma, would you like to talk about where you will spend eternity? Also, I have lice."
TVsTim
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#19 Posted on 9.10.04 2022.50
Reposted on: 9.10.11 2023.37
Just be thankful that you don't work in retail, because you'll have conversations like that EVERY DAY. I once had an elderly gentleman spend close to an hour trying to convince me (and anyone else who happened to walk by the counter) that credit cards were created by the Communists in the late 1940's as part of a plot to destroy the American way of life.

Then there was the lady who insisted that I measure her son for a dress shirt:

ME: Okay, is your son here with you?

CRAZY LADY (very nonchalantly): Oh, he's dead. I'm buying this for him to wear in the casket.

ME (shocked): Oh, I'm very sorry to hear that. My condolences.

CRAZY LADY (disturbingly calm): Yeah, well, he had it coming.

ME (highly confused and a little nervous): Okay...what size shirt did he wear?

CRAZY LADY (annoyed): I don't know, that's why I want you to measure him!

I then decided that it was best for me to call a manager to deal with this particular transaction. Better safe than sorry.
JustinShapiro
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#20 Posted on 10.10.04 0011.00
Reposted on: 10.10.11 0011.03
"'No habla ingles.'
I've found it effective in cutting off unwelcome conversations or comments from strangers"

But, but, what if they see thru you cause you're using third person instead of first.
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