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The 7 - Pro Wrestling - SmackDown! Season Premiere: The Great Thomas Report (9/23/04)
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The Great Thomas
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#1 Posted on 23.9.04 2100.10
Reposted on: 23.9.11 2101.03
The SmackDown! Season Premiere! It's on like Donkey Kong! I've haven't been this excited about a wrestling special since Divas Undressed! It's time for The Great Thomas SmackDown! Season Premiere Report!

Kidman vs. London: Just as the bell rings, Kidman walks out on the match yet again. London wins via countout. Afterwards, Booker T comes out, and kicks London in the gut! It's a match!

London vs. Booker T: Booker busts open London's nose. Ewwww... he's bleeding heavily! Booker squashes London, but London comes back... DROPSAULT! ENZIGURI! But Booker counters a CROSS-BODY into a rollup, and grabs the ropes for the win! Afterwards, Booker grabs the mic, and says that he's gonna do the same thing to John Cena that he just did to London. Then, London jumps Booker T, and the two brawl until security pulls London away.

SmackDown! ThrowBack: Mick Foley remembers when The Rock's sunglasses fell off, then when Cactus Jack scared Triple H.

Backstage: Kidman is WALKING! Then, Theodore Long appears, and tells Kidman that he doesn't like quitters. Kidman and London will wrestle at No Mercy. And if Kidman walks out on the match, he's fired!

Meanwhile: Josh Matthews interviews Spike Dudley and Rey Mysterio. Spike tells Rey that he's "The Boss". Rey tells Spike that he'll stop at nothing to take the Cruiserweight Title, then starts mouthing off in Spanish. This causes Kenzo Suzuki to appear, and tell Rey that since Rey's in America, he has to speak English. Rey clobbers Kenzo with the mic, and walks off.

SmackDown! ThrowBack: Coach dances the Charleston.

Mysterio vs. Spike: The older Dudleys accompany Spike to the ring. TILT-A-WHIRL JAWBREAKER! Bubba botches a sneak attack, causing the ref to eject the Dudleys from ringside. Let's go to commercial break!

Mysterio vs. Spike (cont.): Spike tosses Mysterio shoulder-first into the steel post. TOP-ROPE HURRACANRANA by Mysterio! SPRINGBOARD CROSS-BODY by Mysterio misses Spike and hits the referee! 6-1-9 is foiled by Kenzo Suzuki and René Duprée! STO by Suzuki on the outside! Duprée throws Mysterio back into the ring, and Spike pins him 1-2-3! Afterwards, Suzuki and Duprée do a beatdown on Mysterio, But Rob Van Dam makes the save!

SmackDown! ThrowBack: My Darling Stephanie remembers when she slapped her mom, then remembers when Kurt Angle kissed her.

DURING THE BREAK: Theodore Long announces Suzuki/Duprée vs. Mysterio/RVD for No Mercy.

LAST WEEK: Heidenreich read poetry to Michael Cole while violating him.

At That Moment...: Heidenreich is WALKING! Cole wants to run away, but Heidenrech walks into a door... labeled "Mr. McMahon"!

SmackDown! ThrowBack: Brock Lesnar superplexed The Big Show... AND TEH RING BROKE OMG OMG!!!1!11!!!

The Ministry vs. Undertaker: Gangrel spews blood. The Undertaker lumbers in. Then, JBL and Orlando Jordan drive in to watch the match. Undertaker gets to squashing. OLD SCHOOL to Gangrel! GIANT POWERBOMB by Viscera! BIG SPLASH! But another misses! FLYING CLOTHESLINE to Gangrel! RUNNING DDT to Viscera! TOMBSTONE to Gangrel! 1.. 2.. 3! Afterwards, Viscera attacks from behind, but to no avail. CHOKESLAM TO VISCERA! Then, Taker grabs a chair, and performs the GUILLOTINE to Viscera! JBL flees in his limo. Hopefully, this isn't the last we see of the Ministry. C'mon, Vince! These guys are too good for you to throw away! I'm sure there's plenty of jobbers for them to squash! C'mon, Vince! you NEED tag teams on SmackDown! The Ministry = MONEY!

Mr. McMahon's Room: Heidenreich reads Mr. McMahon poetry. No raping, thankfully. Lanny Poffo, Part 2.

Torrie vs. Dawn Marie: This is a "SCHOOLGIRL MATCH". Just before the bell, Theodore Long appears, and tells them that the match has been changed. It's now a tag-team match. Their opponents: Moolah and Mae Young. Is SmackDown! THAT strapped for Divas? Teddy dances with the two old ones.

Torrie/Dawn Marie vs. Moolah/Mae Young: Test of strength, which Mae wins easily. Mae sits on Torrie's face. Whip into the corner... BRONCO BUSTER to Torrie! Moolah strips Dawn Marie. I'm sure glad I taped this. Moolah pins Dawn Marie for the win. I'll label this a squash match.

SmackDown! ThrowBack: Stone Cold remembers when Santa Claus stunned Mr. McMahon in Iraq. Then, when Stone Cold and Kurt Angle sang songs to Vince.

Parking Lot: Cena raps atop the WWE Production Truck.

Kurt Angle: He's mad that he's been ignored for the SmackDown! ThrowBack. Since he hasn't been asked to share his SmackDown! moment, he has no choice but to make a SmackDown! moment TONIGHT!

SmackDown! ThrowBack: Hollywood Hogan remembers when he and Edge won the tag titles.

Angle/Reigns vs. Guerrero/Big Show: Nice T-shirt, Eddie! Eddie and Angle start. But they both tag out. HOSS FEST! HIP TOSS by Show! Tag to Guerrero. THREE AMIGOS! Tag to Angle. Mat wrestling. BEELY-TO-BELLY by Angle! ANGLE SLAM is countered! Tag to Show! CHOKESLAM to Luther! Eddie climbs on Show's shoulders... but Kurt knocks him off! Let's go to commercial break!

Angle/Reigns vs. Guerrero/Big Show: ANKLELOCK to Eddie! Now Luther's in, and he's in control. DOUBLE UNDERHOOK SUPLEX! Now Kurt's back in. Eddie locks in the ANKLELOCK! Luther in. Dropkick by Eddie! HOT TAG! Show's a HOUSE O' FIRE! Eddie climbs Skow's shoulders... FROG SPLASH! But Mark Jindrak causes the DQ! Now KURT GRABS A TRANQUILIZER GUN AND SHOOTS BIG SHOW! Big Show's groggy... Show goes down! Jindrak runs off, and comes back with hair clippers! Angle and friends cut Show's hair. Now Kurt shaves him bald, then poses on Show's body. And... we're out.

That's all for this week. Until then, Good Night, take care of yourselves, and I wish I could say something witty here, but folks, Big Show got shot with a tranquilizer gun like a friggin' elephant. There's no way I can top that. That's entertainment right there.
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#2 Posted on 23.9.04 2113.05
Reposted on: 23.9.11 2113.13
Smackdown Thoughts:

Kidman and London storyline isn't anything special, but it involves cruiserweights, so I'm looking forward to the match at No Mercy....London/Booker was alright. Boy, London got busted open nicely....Foley and The Rock segments still bring a smile to my face....I love when Kenzo tries to speak American. I don't love when he tries to wrestle....

Coach dancing the Charleston=Comedy....Why do they have "abrupt" commercials when it's taped?....Boy, I'd be a bit embarrassed if Steph said I was the worst kisser in the world....Nice to see WWE bring back some guys to job to 'Taker instead of feeding them guys with a future (no offense to Gangrel and Viscera)....That Heidenreich segment was MADE by Vince's facial expressions....

My God, I haven't laughed so hard at wrestling in a LONG time like I laughed at the girls tag match. That match was TERRIBLE, but it was also HILARIOUS. Teddy dancing was great, too....The main event was certainly...interesting. I'm interested to see where they go with pairing Jindrak with Kurt and Luther....One of the funniest episodes in a long time. Teddy does well as GM, but I liked him better when he hated whitey.
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#3 Posted on 23.9.04 2205.46
Reposted on: 23.9.11 2208.03

I really enjoyed the show this week ... particularly the potential Angle stable ... Gezz, I don't know what I'm such a mark for stables.

I'm glad Paul London is getting some good TV time ... makes me wonder if the little thing with Booker will continue after No Mercy.

Great flashback moments ... The Austin singing thing had me rolling ...

When Torrie came out with the pencil, did Tazz something to Cole about how he should be used to having a pencil in his hand?
Shem the Penman
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#4 Posted on 23.9.04 2219.24
Reposted on: 23.9.11 2222.23
No Hiroko in a fuku for the Schoolgirl Match? Feh.

And did Viscera somehow forget how to do his rolling heel kick? Did losing that 100 pounds throw his balance off? Also feh.
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#5 Posted on 23.9.04 2305.17
Reposted on: 23.9.11 2305.18
I don't care what anyone says, Gangrel is awesome. His facial expressions and selling anything more effective than a punch by actling like he was just hit by a cannon make my heart sing.
OMEGA
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#6 Posted on 23.9.04 2350.22
Reposted on: 23.9.11 2351.40
I REALLY enjoyed tonight's show. Just fun, from beginning to end. It was a good mix of wrestling, entertainment, and building towards the next PPV.

When I read the spoilers, I thought Big Show getting shot with a tranquilizer gun was beyond stupid. However, when watching it tonight, I found it to be pretty fun. Plus, Big Show did a damn good job of selling it. I guess they shaved his head in order to cover his ever-growing bald-spot. Hey, it worked for Keiji Mutoh.

SmackDown continues to lap RAW (IMO) on being the better show.
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#7 Posted on 24.9.04 0723.37
Reposted on: 24.9.11 0723.37
I'll echo that. For the last 2 months, I've been digigng SD more than Raw, and tonight's show was no exception. Aside from the women's match, and Taker/Ministry, everything was pretty good.

And that new opening sucked hardcore. They never should have scrapped the black & white rap opening.

(edited by Spaceman Spiff on 24.9.04 0907)
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#8 Posted on 24.9.04 0829.51
Reposted on: 24.9.11 0830.05
I was dispppointed that they didn't have a taped segment with The Rock on the 5th Anniversary show. However, seeing Steve Austin's missing goatee somehow disappointed me even more.
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#9 Posted on 24.9.04 2219.10
Reposted on: 24.9.11 2220.05
Just finished watching...here it goes.

1) Kidman/London -> is this the way to start a new season?

2) Booker T/London -> An equation for you. Elbow + nose = OUCH!!!! That had to hurt. Pretty nice match.

3) Mick Foley speaks -> Rock's glasses falling off and Foley picking it up and giving it back to him - No wonder why they were great together.

4) The great comedy team of Rock & Coach -> great memories.

5) Mysterio/Spike -> nice match, but wasn't watching most of it.

6) Stephanie -> Still looking good. Nuff said. Anyway, Angle with hair, very strange.

7) Big Show/Brock literally break the ring. Just funny seeing the ref plopping around until he completely lost his balance.

8) Gangrel & Viscera/Undertaker -> One of the great entrance songs has returned. Too bad they did not come from the bottom of the stage in a ring of fire. Guess with Viscera right there, they would never get up. If I was a pitcher, I'd love to hear that song when I pitch as a closer. After that, everything went downhill for them. Squash, thanks for coming, see you both in the indy scene.

9) Heidenreich w/Mr. McMahon -> I could see Leapin' Lanny Poffo getting a baseball bat and whacking the TV saying, "That was my job, reading poetry and wrestling." Guess we never saw Little Johnny, huh.

10) Torrie/Dawn vs Moolah/Mae -> I know Smackdown needs some new divas, but that was not what I wanted. BRUTAL MATCH!!!!!! Get the old goats away from the ring and away from my television. I would have been much better watching Dawn & Torrie wrestle each other for the 3,548,900th time. Only good news, at least it was not a swimsuit match.

11) Austin speaks -> Christmas in Baghdad. I almost missed taping it until I saw that they were actually going to have matches that night. The singing -> they would be better in the MORON Tabernacle Choir, not the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.
Angle with hair, still looks weird.

12) Hogan speaks -> July 4th winning the tag titles w/Edge. A great night, brought back Real American. Funny how the Hulk part is now gone, Chimel says "Hollywood.....Hogan!" That includes a 2 second space between.

13) Angle/Reigns vs Guerrero/Show -> good match, but the ending was as bizarre as it gets. First, Jindrak, who has been in no-man's land for a while interferes. Then Angle gets a tranquilizer gun and pops a dart at Show. And they had close ups of the dart stuck in Big Show's back!!! Of course, Big Show ends up getting a free haircut at Kurt's Barber Shop, where your haircut could be your last. It worked for Kurt for the last couple of years.

There are other moments that I wished would have been shown, especially those that I missed because we took out our regular cable before UPN came to Direct TV. Like, more Rock, and the post 9/11 episode (after reading the recap, I'm still kicking myself for not seeing it).

I probably won't be back until Tuesday night or Wednesday.

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#10 Posted on 25.9.04 1732.13
Reposted on: 25.9.11 1734.09
Good show as always, this coming from a Steph mark, she has gone a bit downhill since tieing the knot in the looks department, i want Alliance Steph damn it! Anyway, i wonder who told her to say Kurt was the worst kisser in the world huh Trips. I swore i heard her say before he wasent too bad. The new opening is just awful, belongs in the new generation not 2004. I can't believe no one has yet to pick up on the dropping of ''Hulk'' from Hollywood Hulk Hogan. I don't know the sate of the lawsuit but WWE are editing the Hulk out. Austin without goatee=weird. Also on Sky over here they advertised No Mercy to be LIVE on October 10, when im almost sure its October 3. And did i see a LIVE graphic on Smackdown?
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#11 Posted on 25.9.04 2329.13
Reposted on: 25.9.11 2329.20
As I said in my opinions, I did recognize the "Hulk" not being in the introductions. However, I did not even see that Austin did shave...just didn't check hard enough. It also looked strange with the live graphic on the screen.
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#12 Posted on 26.9.04 1625.09
Reposted on: 26.9.11 1628.47
Since I've got copious notes over in the spoilers thread (The W) already, I've only got a couple of additional things from the airings.

I saw that Paul London had a bloody nose from JBL, but hadn't seen just how it happened. That was ug-ly! (And it was such a cute nose.) Paul really dropped in a fairly serious fashion when it happened. Big brownie points for carrying on perfectly beautifully afterwards though.

I'm still grinning about how happy Rico was to be back -- he loves this job, & the audience so picks up on that. :-)

Turned out to be a fun Velocity too, didn't it?

Excellent live show, just for MEEEEEEE! :-) And the TV broadcasts came out well too.
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#13 Posted on 26.9.04 2019.52
Reposted on: 26.9.11 2019.52
    Originally posted by OMEGA
    When I read the spoilers, I thought Big Show getting shot with a tranquilizer gun was beyond stupid. However, when watching it tonight, I found it to be pretty fun.


I stayed away from IW Forums deliberately so that I could see it fresh and new. I didnt see the elephant gun coming and it made it so much better.

My swerve was that Big Show would drop Luther and Kurt and Eddie would come in to congratulate Show and get beat up as well...so it was a nice move using the elephant gun..and I can see why..Eddie standing in front of Show just goes to show how massive Show really is.

The rest of SD was good...but I was eating when Mae and Moolah entered the ring flashing their crusty bits and I never felt more ill in my life...I think it scarred my GFs 15 yr old for life.
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#14 Posted on 27.9.04 0432.40
Reposted on: 27.9.11 0437.16
-Booker vs. London- It was set up for it to be London vs. Kidman, but Kidman wasn't "Feeling it". Booker walks out and attacks London (that was unsuspecting). Match is on. Early in the match London took a nasty elbow to the nose, most sick unplanned red bodily liquid image since Matt/ Benoit US title tournament(sigh). London hits a running enzuguri(phone call from Mr. Jericho).. Real good match, thank gawd Booker & Cena only have on match left, because Booker can actually be entertaining when involved with others (and I figure the same can be said about Cena). With a London attack on Booker after the match which Booker win might be signs of things to come?

-Spike vs. Mysterio- BUT FIRST, the two chat backstage, Myserio starts dissing Spike in German(hehe). Kenzo will have none of this Heidenspeak on his watch, Rey hit Kenzo down... On to the match, another good match for this show. Great flip over the top from Rey on Spike. Charles Robinson eats a springboard crossbody. Dupree and Suzuki runs in and attacks Mysterio allowing Spike to get the win, to my surprise. But then it wasn't as surprising as Teddy Long books Rey to go for the tag division with Rob Van Dam(oh yeah I remember him)

-Undertaker vs. Gangrel/Visera- Still dig the Gangrel entrance, it lost a little with no fire lift but still very cool music and the spewing of the red liquid substance (What is Tazz talking about blood?!). lol saturn, that would be some cool music to walk out of the bullpen from... On Thursday, Undertaker ordered a nice big plateful of Squash. That was one lame chokeslam by Taker on Visera where I think Big Vis lifted all of 1 inch! Gangrel actually didn't look to bad, I like his elbow drops. Well in a Taker squash you get what you can lol

-Moolah/Mae vs. Dawn/Torrie- I don't get the oldies. Does Vince and Co. think the fans love them and they can give some sort of rub? (As Teddy seems way to excited for bringing them up and wanting some luvin *shivers*)... Speaking of rubs, actually lets not. I don't get Torrie's reaction at the end of the match? She seems happy and in awe. Ah maybe she just appreciates an embarrassing squash.

-Eddie/BigShow vs. Angle/Reigns- Cole was really strange when talking about Luther's run with the law & violent street incidence(where did that come from?). The bodyslam from BigShow to Angle while BigShow is standing on the apron is new to me. Good team work by the heels actually. Eddie and Kurt took some risky bumps and balanced it out with good mat wrestling... Mark Jindrak?? of ALL people came in and helped Kurt Angle and joined him in an attack on the BigShow. It gets stranger as Kurt used a tranquilizer gun to knock out the BigShow, SD ends with Kurt shaving BigShow's hair, which when shaving someone bald is actually seems normal compared to what happened just before that could be a problem. Cole used a real bad choice of words to describe what is going on with the BigShow.

-OtherStuff- Favorite moments are remembered. Foley Favorite is a Rock n Sock moment & transforming from Mankind to Cactus Jack in front of HHH face... Steph moment is slapping her mom & Kurt kissing her... Austin moment was SD in Iraq & singing backstage with Vince & Kurt(oh I know most net writers talk about how it was bad for business, but personally I don't care, it was so funny & entertaining!)... Hogan moment was winning the title with the future of wrestling EDGE!...

Oh man that Cena promo was brutal. I understand it was a tribute, but eww it sound so campy him using past stars catchphrases in a rap... On the other hand Angle backstage promo was very solid talking about how he's going to make his own Smackdown moment, TONIGHT... Heidenriech thrusts himself into Vince's office. They kind of stay there for a while looking at eachother I presume as we went to commercial AND a Undertaker match. He wants to express himself in a poem. A bad poem but the thought that counts, ha Vince freaked expression was funny. I feel shameful but I find myself wondering what's he's all about lol

-Line of the Night: Cole { Sorry, you must be logged in to see this text! } - Not a good choice of words considering last week.
-Sign of the Night: "Go back to the Kitchen"- Oh I hate that sign, but just wondering if Emma spotted it and ripped it and made the guy eat it lol.
-3Stars of the Night: 1)London. 2)Angle. 3)Mysterio.

I would say the first hour was really good. The main event had good wrestling in it when Kurt and Eddie in there, Luther didn't look to out of place and BigShow did some cool big man spot(okay just the slam from the outside is what I remember)... As bad as Taker and the women stuff were, Cena rap had to take it for lamest thing of the night. Smackdown moments, some were good & funny to look back on (Austin singing) & some were kind of lame, Rock telling the Coach to do the Charleston is one of those WWE "funny" moments that I never got, oh well lol.
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#15 Posted on 27.9.04 1431.39
Reposted on: 27.9.11 1433.29
    Originally posted by Net Hack Slasher
    I don't get Torrie's reaction at the end of the match? She seems happy and in awe. Ah maybe she just appreciates an embarrassing squash.
Yeah, & it got dumber. She was trotting around holding up Mae & Moolah's hands & generally posing with them, while doing the "nyah-nyah" thing at Dawn. I suppose it's because she's really a face, & all the babyface girls forgive each other anything within minutes. Dawn, on the other hand, did a very nice job staying in her heel character, & calling her out on "What are you doing?" I never thought I'd say this, but Dawn was the star of the segment!
    Originally posted by Net Hack Slasher
    -Sign of the Night: "Go back to the Kitchen"- Oh I hate that sign, but just wondering if Emma spotted it and ripped it and made the guy eat it lol.
;-) Actually, in Phoenix, that'd be more readily interpreted as a slam on Eddie & Rey, referring to *every* restaurant kitchen in town. Just sayin' ...
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#16 Posted on 27.9.04 1451.54
Reposted on: 27.9.11 1455.20
    Originally posted by emma
    "Go back to the Kitchen"- Oh I hate that sign, but just wondering if Emma spotted it and ripped it and made the guy eat it lol.
;-) Actually, in Phoenix, that'd be more readily interpreted as a slam on Eddie & Rey, referring to *every* restaurant kitchen in town. Just sayin' ...


So it wasn't so much sexism as much as it was poorly articulated xenophobia.


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#17 Posted on 1.10.04 1619.54
Reposted on: 1.10.11 1620.48
    Originally posted by OMEGA
    Plus, Big Show did a damn good job of selling it. I guess they shaved his head in order to cover his ever-growing bald-spot.







    Yep! That's why Paul Wight is getting a haircut ala Angle. Smart money says Show doesn't grow his hair back and will continue to sport a chrome dome just like Angle.

    When a wrestler's hairline is receding, rather than let him walk around with a bald spot, they go to the head shaving. I mean did anyone believe that Edge would lose his locks in the hair vs. hair match against a already balding Kurt Angle?

    They think they can fool us by putting the Bic to their scalps in order to look cool. C'mon! We know you're balding!

    Balding wrestlers getting a "haircut" is cheap heat. The one exception is Kane. He had to sport the bald look to salvage his on-camera character. Doesn't work. We all knew he was not scarred and in earlier personas Kane had a blonde afro and a mullet(courtesy of extensions.) just like Big Sexy
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