The W
Views: 121914353
Main | FAQ | Search: Y! / G | Color chart | Log in for more!
26.3.10 0621
The 7 - Site Bashing - McSweeneys
This thread has 7 referrals leading to it
Register and log in to post!
(75 newer) Next thread | Previous thread
User
Post (11 total)
OlFuzzyBastard
Knackwurst
Level: 106

Posts: 2151/3062
EXP: 12503751
For next: 168233

Since: 28.4.02
From: Pittsburgh, PA

Since last post: 41 days
Last activity: 37 days
AIM:  
#1 Posted on 19.8.04 1621.50
Reposted on: 19.8.11 1623.16
If you've never read McSweeneys, you're sorely missing out on the funniest writing on the Internet. This is a recent list of theirs which I've somehow missed until now:

Quotes From the Announcers of Wrestlemania XX Which Were, but Should Not Have Been, Meant in All Seriousness

  • "Taking his time, the Big Show is just stalking the Doctor of Thuganomics."

  • "Anyone who's clotheslined a woman like Trish isn't going to get any extemporaneous compliments from me."

  • "It all began last June here at Madison Square Garden, and tonight, at Wrestlemania XX, it all begins again."

  • "These fans want someone to get hurt and, frankly, I do too."

  • "Goldberg is right-handed. That'll have an impact, if you think about it."

  • "Did the EMTs throw him back in the ring? How'd he get up?"

  • "Holy haircut, Batman!"

  • "Kurt Angle, his condition is unparalleled ... and so is Eddie Guerrero's."

  • "Latino Heat is fired up!"

  • "There's a poison seeping through the moral fiber of this country."


(edited by OlFuzzyBastard on 20.8.04 0826)
Promote this thread!
Barbwire Mike
Boudin rouge
Level: 48

Posts: 397/502
EXP: 786386
For next: 37162

Since: 6.11.03
From: Dudleyville

Since last post: 4184 days
Last activity: 4177 days
#2 Posted on 19.8.04 1648.09
Reposted on: 19.8.11 1648.59
"Holy haircut, Batman" was meant in all seriousness?

LOf'nL at several of the others though, especially the Angle/Guerrero unparalleled conditioning one.
Wolfram J. Paulovich
Frankfurter
Level: 57

Posts: 500/742
EXP: 1464294
For next: 21643

Since: 11.11.02
From: Fat City, Baby

Since last post: 3841 days
Last activity: 3211 days
AIM:  
#3 Posted on 19.8.04 1705.54
Reposted on: 19.8.11 1706.20
    Originally posted by OlFuzzyBastard
    "Goldberg is right-handed. That'll have an impact, if you think about it."


Uh...?

I'm thinking about it, and it's not having any impact. I mean, as wrestling fans, can any of you think of an instance where someone being right-handed played an important role? Beyond the obvious role of "he has hands and thus can grab things"?
DJ FrostyFreeze
Knackwurst
Level: 112

Posts: 1620/3462
EXP: 15191401
For next: 146852

Since: 2.1.02
From: Hawthorne, CA

Since last post: 6 days
Last activity: 6 days
#4 Posted on 19.8.04 1711.06
Reposted on: 19.8.11 1712.59
When I read that, I assumed that some sort of damage was being inflicted on his right hand, and the announcer was implying that if his hand is too hurt, it would be difficult for him to use it against his opponent or to defend himself.

HOW-EVA, none of that makes the quote in question sound any less silly.
JoshMann
Andouille
Level: 90

Posts: 1114/2159
EXP: 7006339
For next: 182297

Since: 17.11.03
From: Tallahassee, FL

Since last post: 3177 days
Last activity: 3174 days
AIM:  
Y!:
#5 Posted on 20.8.04 0826.10
Reposted on: 20.8.11 0828.12
    Originally posted by Jeb Tennyson Lund
    I mean, as wrestling fans, can any of you think of an instance where someone being right-handed played an important role? Beyond the obvious role of "he has hands and thus can grab things"?


Barry Windham punching the ringpost and "damaging" his claw hand in a match in 1989 versus Luger...other than that I've got nothing.
spf
Scrapple
Level: 136

Posts: 2888/5410
EXP: 29674783
For next: 422209

Since: 2.1.02
From: The Las Vegas of Canada

Since last post: 510 days
Last activity: 59 days
AIM:  
#6 Posted on 20.8.04 0840.50
Reposted on: 20.8.11 0845.42
Well, I guess as he often used his right hand to grab the opponent's trunks for lifting the guy into the Jackhammer, I suppose if he couldn't close his hand or grip anything with it, he wouldn't be able to use his finishing move.
Dave Gagnon
Mettwurst
Level: 30

Posts: 169/170
EXP: 156611
For next: 9260

Since: 25.7.03
From: Rimouski

Since last post: 4588 days
Last activity: 4585 days
#7 Posted on 20.8.04 1727.57
Reposted on: 20.8.11 1728.04
How about the time HBK kept on stomping Mankind's right hand? It was his way to avoid getting the Mandible Claw. Other than that, I have nothing.
asteroidboy
Andouille
Level: 93

Posts: 2088/2241
EXP: 7897338
For next: 155502

Since: 22.1.02
From: Texas

Since last post: 2314 days
Last activity: 1222 days
#8 Posted on 20.8.04 1751.00
Reposted on: 20.8.11 1753.01
    Originally posted by OlFuzzyBastard
    "Did the EMTs throw him back in the ring? How'd he get up?"


The idea of evil paramedics taking things into their own hands is hilarious.
JoshMann
Andouille
Level: 90

Posts: 1123/2159
EXP: 7006339
For next: 182297

Since: 17.11.03
From: Tallahassee, FL

Since last post: 3177 days
Last activity: 3174 days
AIM:  
Y!:
#9 Posted on 23.8.04 1524.19
Reposted on: 23.8.11 1525.13
    Originally posted by Dave Gagnon
    How about the time HBK kept on stomping Mankind's right hand? It was his way to avoid getting the Mandible Claw. Other than that, I have nothing.


Ah, but if you remember the end of that match, Mankind's destroyed Mandible Claw hand was miraculously resurrected by the power of the urn, although as a side effect the power of the urn also allowed Sid's punches to connect on Vader from the 4th row, but the point still stands.
Matt Tracker
Scrapple
Level: 132

Posts: 584/5194
EXP: 26655308
For next: 476696

Since: 8.5.03
From: North Carolina

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 2 days
#10 Posted on 25.8.04 1407.10
Reposted on: 25.8.11 1408.54
    Originally posted by asteroidboy
      Originally posted by OlFuzzyBastard
      "Did the EMTs throw him back in the ring? How'd he get up?"


    The idea of evil paramedics taking things into their own hands is hilarious.


"Walk it off, jobber!"
Eradicator
Kolbasz
Level: 48

Posts: 427/487
EXP: 801353
For next: 22195

Since: 4.1.02
From: Chicago

Since last post: 726 days
Last activity: 2 days
#11 Posted on 26.8.04 1217.12
Reposted on: 26.8.11 1217.17
    Originally posted by Matt Tracker
      Originally posted by asteroidboy
        Originally posted by OlFuzzyBastard
        "Did the EMTs throw him back in the ring? How'd he get up?"


      The idea of evil paramedics taking things into their own hands is hilarious.


    "Walk it off, jobber!"


I really don't think that this was meant in all seriousness. It was Lawler being a goof, and it worked. I laughed pretty hard when this line was said- something I rarely do as a result of Jerry Lawler comentary.
ALL ORIGINAL POSTS IN THIS THREAD ARE NOW AVAILABLE
Thread ahead: Somebody touched a nerve
Next thread: "Is Lita's predicament a human rights issue? " (WWE.Com)
Previous thread: 1wrestling cuts and pastes... from me?
(75 newer) Next thread | Previous thread
The 7 - Site Bashing - McSweeneysRegister and log in to post!

The W™ message board - 7 year recycle

ZimBoard
©2001-2015 Brothers Zim
This old hunk of junk rendered your page in 0.289 seconds.