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The 7 - Music - Blender magazine names the top 50 worst songs of all time.
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Cerebus
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#21 Posted on 21.4.04 2331.20
Reposted on: 21.4.11 2331.25
Why, oh WHY wasn't AFTERNOON DELIGHT by Peaches and Herb not on here.
Eddie Famous
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#22 Posted on 21.4.04 2337.00
Reposted on: 21.4.11 2337.20
    Originally posted by Cerebus
    Why, oh WHY wasn't AFTERNOON DELIGHT by Peaches and Herb not on here.


Because that song was done by the Starland Vocal Band!

Reunited was by P&H.
Cerebus
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#23 Posted on 21.4.04 2339.48
Reposted on: 21.4.11 2341.12
    Originally posted by Eddie Famous
      Originally posted by Cerebus
      Why, oh WHY wasn't AFTERNOON DELIGHT by Peaches and Herb not on here.


    Because that song was done by the Starland Vocal Band!

    Reunited was by P&H.


Now you see, even I make mistakes when drinking and typing. Thanks for the correction.
Brian P. Dermody
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#24 Posted on 22.4.04 0000.54
Reposted on: 22.4.11 0006.40
Unfortunately, the worse song *I've* ever heard was not heard by many other people. But no one who has ever heard "Paralyzed" by The Legendary Stardust Cowboy will ever forget it.

That said, "Me So Horny", "Informer" and the entire catalog of Sheryl Crow deserve dishonorable mention.
JST
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#25 Posted on 22.4.04 0137.00
Reposted on: 22.4.11 0139.41
The people at Blender obviously didn't purchase WWE Originals.

Fuck 'em, I actually LIKE 3/4 of this list. I guess I'm in the "so bad it's good, you wanna listen to it" bracket.
OlFuzzyBastard
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#26 Posted on 22.4.04 1227.39
Reposted on: 22.4.11 1229.01
    Originally posted by Eddie Famous
    "Take these hands they are my own they aren't yours they are my own my hands are mine they aren't yours..." or Sarah McLaughlan or any of that garbage.




Please. This is being co-sponsored by VH1. Jewel fans are VH1's bread and butter. They aren't going to offend them.
The Amazing Salami
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#27 Posted on 22.4.04 1229.34
Reposted on: 22.4.11 1229.51
    Originally posted by Eddie Famous
    Sarah McLaughlan or any of that garbage.





Who's Sarah McLaughlan???????
The Thrill
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#28 Posted on 22.4.04 1314.30
Reposted on: 22.4.11 1321.13
    Originally posted by Simba
    I don't think "We Built this City" is even Starship's worst song from that era. Did they forget Mannequin soundtrack special "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now?"


HEY NOW...they used to play that at Lambeau at halftime when the Packers went into the locker room with a lead. (Didn't happen as much in my younger days...)

And a BIG OL' F'N POX on anybody hating on Meat Loaf. Epic rock RULES, baby. Nothin' better than jamming "Bat out of Hell" (the song AND the album, mind you) in my ears while on my motorcycle. Hell yeah.
JoshMann
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#29 Posted on 22.4.04 1318.58
Reposted on: 22.4.11 1324.35
    Originally posted by The Thrill
    HEY NOW...they used to play that at Lambeau at halftime when the Packers went into the locker room with a lead. (Didn't happen as much in my younger days...)


Weren't the Packers a losing team at the time? There might be a correlation.

And hell...they play that damn fight song with the banjo everytime the Dolphins score and it doesn't mean it's grown on me any in 25 years.

And if fight songs were included, this is an easy in to the Top 50

http://www.miamidolphins.com/audio/fightsong.wav

DrDirt
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#30 Posted on 22.4.04 1404.35
Reposted on: 22.4.11 1404.41
How about worst songs that we actually have heard from the last 35 years. All these kinds of big lists slay me. The musical literacy of the people involved is restricted to what they hear on the radio and what they grew up with. They have no reference point. No offense intended to anyone here but you all as a group are so young you can't make an all-time list. I would be worthless before 1960.
Reverend J Shaft
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#31 Posted on 22.4.04 1453.39
Reposted on: 22.4.11 1453.40
The Final Countdown is practically the theme song of the team depicted in my avatar, and I think it rules. Besides, "Carrie" was a much crappier "hit" by Europe.

Nice of Blender to rip apart a song about racial harmony like #10 Ebony and Ivory. I mean it's not a lyrical masterpiece like Rico Suave or MMM MMM MMM MMM, but c'mon.

Dr. Dirt - so bitter. I don't think there's anyone alive who could really make a COMPLETE list. Perhaps we're too young to know of crappy songs before 1960, but I doubt there are any seventy year olds out there who can tell me why Master P or Gerardo sucks.

JoshMann
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#32 Posted on 22.4.04 1501.45
Reposted on: 22.4.11 1503.40
    Originally posted by Reverend J Shaft
    Nice of Blender to rip apart a song about racial harmony like #10 Ebony and Ivory. I mean it's not a lyrical masterpiece like Rico Suave or MMM MMM MMM MMM, but c'mon.


Everyone knows the Stevie/Sinatra version off of the album "Frank Sings Tunes That The Young People Will Enjoy" stands out as the better version of the two anyway. :-P

(edited by Blanket Jackson on 22.4.04 1602)
Nag
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#33 Posted on 22.4.04 1507.26
Reposted on: 22.4.11 1507.31
Well it just the demographics they are targeting, I'm sure there have been more definitive lists out there, but you won't hear about them, because it isn't blender.

Every era has it's share of mindless bubblegum, the thing now is mindless bubblegum in no longer for 13 year old girls, it's for everyone. So even a list by respected musicologists would seem too contemporary.
Eddie Famous
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#34 Posted on 22.4.04 1900.19
Reposted on: 22.4.11 1902.11
    Originally posted by The Amazing Salami
      Originally posted by Eddie Famous
      Sarah McLaughlan or any of that garbage.





    Who's Sarah McLaughlan???????


She's a singer that sucks so bad she spells her own name wrong.
pieman
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#35 Posted on 22.4.04 2026.48
Reposted on: 22.4.11 2026.57
    Originally posted by DrDirt
    All these kinds of big lists slay me.



This thread is just proving once again that LISTS SUCK.
DrDirt
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#36 Posted on 23.4.04 1205.59
Reposted on: 23.4.11 1207.14
    Originally posted by Reverend J Shaft
    The Final Countdown is practically the theme song of the team depicted in my avatar, and I think it rules. Besides, "Carrie" was a much crappier "hit" by Europe.

    Nice of Blender to rip apart a song about racial harmony like #10 Ebony and Ivory. I mean it's not a lyrical masterpiece like Rico Suave or MMM MMM MMM MMM, but c'mon.

    Dr. Dirt - so bitter. I don't think there's anyone alive who could really make a COMPLETE list. Perhaps we're too young to know of crappy songs before 1960, but I doubt there are any seventy year olds out there who can tell me why Master P or Gerardo sucks.




I'm not bitter but trying to point out how assinine it is to label lists as "all time." All the 2000 lists of stuff from the last century were equally dumb because we as human beings lack the perspective to make said lists. They were all slanted towards the last few decades of the century. They are fun but dumb.
The Thrill
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#37 Posted on 23.4.04 1413.52
Reposted on: 23.4.11 1414.02
    Originally posted by Blanket Jackson
    And hell...they play that damn fight song with the banjo everytime the Dolphins score and it doesn't mean it's grown on me any in 25 years.

    And if fight songs were included, this is an easy in to the Top 50

    http://www.miamidolphins.com/ audio/fightsong.wav




Jeebus, that was awful. Reminds me of that hobo flea in the cartoons singin' "Home around the Corner" or whatever it is, before he bites the dog.

(image removed)


Gimme the Packers' fight song anyday. (requires RealPlayer) Hell, it mentions bacon in the lyrics!
FLRockAndLaw
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#38 Posted on 24.4.04 0900.52
Reposted on: 24.4.11 0901.28
First of all, I should probably get a smack upside the head for being so bothered by something by fucking Maxim to respond to it. Maxim stopped being relevant about two or three years ago, when they simply started quasi-re-running previous articles they'd published and had to be catty and attack their competition (and their non-competition) in print in the magazine. With that said...

Stuff I actually agree with:
New Kids on the Block: Hangin? Tough - boy band talking about being tough. HAR!!
Color Me Badd: I Wanna Sex You Up - sure, there's rhythm and blues (NOT R&B) that I like to have sex to. This ain't it.
Ricky Martin: She Bangs - but not as bad as William Hung's version.
Rednex: Cotton Eye Joe - tries to be different, but is just annoying
Gerardo: Rico Suave - Suave enough to be a one hit wonder. One of the songs on this list where the Weird Al parody was sooooo much better.
Aqua: Barbie Girl - no, you're not. Barbie has bigger boobs and sings better.
Deep Blue Something: Breakfast at Tiffany's - one of the most depressing, upbeat songs. Wow, our relationship's falling apart, and we have nothing in common - except for an old Audrey Hepburn movie we once saw that we kind of liked!!!
John Mayer: Your Body Is A Wonderland - OMG WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!?
The Doors: The End - although the whole stones/glass houses thing does apply here, since I have been trying to write a song for some time with the lyrics "Father, I want to kill you."
Puff Daddy et al: I'll Be Missing You - further proof that death is the ultimate career move in rap music and rock music. But in rap music, your "buddies" try to steal your heat after you're gone.
Toby Keith: Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue (The Angry American) - Ugly American is more like it.
Mr. Mister: Broken Wings - "Kyrie" was so much better.
(Don't call me M.C.) Hammer: Pumps and a Bump - Hammer at the Twilight of his career. And "It's All Good" was a better song from that album.
4 Non Blondes: What's Up? - annoying song, and title doesn't even match the lyrics of the chorus
Madonna: American Life - Madonna. Res ipsa loquitor.
Limp Bizkit: Rollin' - see entry for Madonna.
Billy Ray Cyrus: Achy Breaky Heart - again, Weird Al's parody of this says it all: "Don't play that song/That achy, breaky song..."

Songs I haven't heard, so I really can't pass judgment:
Ja Rule: Mesmerize
Master P: Make Me Say Uhhh!
Dan Fogelberg: Longer
Genesis: Illegal Alien
Clay Aiken: Invisible

We'll be here all day if I classify songs that I just think are overplayed or annoying, but not that bad per se, or songs I sort of disagree with, sooooo...
Stuff I STRONGLY disagree with:
Bryan Adams: The Only Thing That Looks Good On Me Is You - come on, you picked this over "Everything I Do, I Do It For You?" This one's actually got a fun little groove to it.
Europe: The Final Countdown - come on, who hasn't gotten up on their feet at a sports event for this one? Hell, members of my high school marching band used to play this to get psyched up for our Championships!
Five for Fighting: Superman - an emotional ballad about how "It's not easy being me." It took me a while, but I finally came around on this song.
Corey Hart: Sunglasses At Night - okay, you've got to be shitting me here. Great sing-along song, and desperately needs to be re-made. Hell, a Marilyn Manson remake a la "Sweet Dreams" of this song would rule.
The Rembrandts: I'll Be There For You - "Friends" may suck, but this song doesn't. Those of us who got to see Weird Al's 1996 tour got to hear his parody version of this - "Theme From Home Improvement (I'll Repair For You)." Classic.
Beach Boys: Kokomo - OMG WTF???? This over "Still Cruisin'"?
Wang Chung: Everybody Have Fun Tonight -
Dear Maxim:

Fuck you.

Stronger message to follow.

Huey Lewis and the News: Heart of Rock 'N' Roll -
Dear Maxim:

Fuck you, and rot in hell, you elistist pig pseudojournalists.

Stronger message to follow.

(edited by RageRockrr on 24.4.04 1001)
Kei Posiskunk
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#39 Posted on 27.4.04 1613.14
Reposted on: 27.4.11 1615.10
    Originally posted by RageRockrr
    Corey Hart: Sunglasses At Night - okay, you've got to be shitting me here. Great sing-along song, and desperately needs to be re-made. Hell, a Marilyn Manson remake a la "Sweet Dreams" of this song would rule.



There's an electroclash remake of this song done by "Tiga and Zyntherius", and it's somewhat minimalistic in its approach, but not bad.
bubblesthechimp
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#40 Posted on 27.4.04 1858.44
Reposted on: 27.4.11 1858.57
    Originally posted by RageRockrr
    >Songs I haven't heard, so I really can't pass judgment: Clay Aiken: Invisible


You haven't heard this song?! Seriously? What rock do you live under? I wanna find it so i can hide from this crap too.
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