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tomk
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#1 Posted on 9.12.03 0303.08
Reposted on: 9.12.10 0303.18
What Worked

TKG: Christian looked really solid in opening tag match. Nice high back drop and has Matt Hardy taken him aside to work on his punches cause theyve gotten really good by WWE standards.

PAS: I guess the opening tag was fine pedestrian tag wrestling. Christian takes a nice high backdrop. How does D-Von Dudley have a job in the WWE, I cant think of anyone on the roster who brings less to the table, I mean at least Bubba is big but can you imagine how Tony Stetson, Don E. Allen, Ron Harris, Mr. Hughes, Dino Sendoff, Dick Hertz, Headhunter A, New Jack, Brian Lee, Ray Odyssey, Nova, Glen Osbourne, Roadkill ,Sal Bellomo, Tommy Cario , EZ Money, Chad Austin, Rod Price, Giant Kimala II, Metal Maniac, Julio Deniro, Ulf Herman, Joel Hartgood, Don Harris, Headhunter B, Kronus,Skull Von Krush, Bilvis Wesley, Koji Nakagawa, Chilly Willy and the dozens of other marginal ECW castoffs feel when they turn on their TVs and see D-Von employed?

PAS: Rob Van Dam really stinks but he can have decent matches with really limited roid guys. He had a fun match with Steiner a month ago, and this match with Batista was surprisingly okay. They should do a straight switch, give Stevie Richards the IC title and the PPV match with Orton and move Van Dam into the Heat feud with Heidenriech.

TKG: So I sit down to right about the Van Damn Batista match and am all ready to write a joke about how Van Damn should be working Heidenriech, and how they should get the better mic worker (Richards) to feud with Orton. And fuck shit, Phil beats me to it. Fuck him and his beating me to that joke. The match did have some awkward points and I really hope that the spot where RVD landed on his head was supposed to be a reversal and the WWE isnt stupid enough to allow fricking Batista to do a crowns gate. Especially as a near fall. As well I dont care how much drugs HBK takes, sloppy ass Batista crowns gate him and theyre gonna need to call an audible on that match. Fuck I got nothing, nothing. Damn Phil and his beating me to the joke.

TKG: The six man had a bunch of ugly spots and Booker seemed really off. But the match worked overall. The match really needed Goldust on the apron getting crowd into Bookers endless face in peril section. Really needed Goldust in the ring to work a face in peril section so Booker could hot tag.

PAS: The long trios match to set up the PPV was pretty fun, there was some sloppy stuff in the ROH finishers section at the end, but my man Mark Henry looked great and they put over the Bear Hug better then it has been put over in 20 years.


TKG: Test actually looked half decent here. But when you compare the way he sells and eats offense to the way Nathan Jones did, you really realize how much theyve fucked up with Nathan Jones. I mean Nathan Jones offense looked like shit but normally so does Test and Roseys. The secret to Andre was that spot where hed get tied in the ropes and do that odd Munch face as he was helplessly beaten upon. New generation of huge wrestlers for the most part havent figured that shit out. And thats why guys more mobile then Andre, (Test, Big show, etc) will never be as useful. Jones could actually sell and bump. Fuck he carried useless Steiner to a better match than Helmsley was able to. I think between that and realizing that fake Diesel vs. Cibernetico in AAA smoked fake Diesel vs. Fake Cibernetico in WWE is what made me realize how absolutely worthless Helmsley is. At least in this match Tests and Roseys offense actually had moments of looking good. But thats gonna only happen maybe once every couple months. They really blew it with Jones.

PAS: I need to see the Samurai TV version of the Joshi tag, as the JIP match had some nice spots in it. The Victoria and Molly backbreaker double team is especially sharp. I also liked how they were all dressed to go out clubbing, it looked like a fight outside Dream to see which white girl with fake boobs would get to fuck Jahidi White.

TKG: Alot of Goldbergs stuff looked good. His punches on the floor all looked nice (Henrys bump from the punch was sweet too), and the flying shoulderblock was fucking Butch Reed great. The match though goes below.

PAS: Before RAW started we were watching this really awful Toru Yano/Yutaka Yoshie v. Yuji Nagata/ Manabu Nakanishi match, which had at least a half dozen spears, which is a move Goldberg basically invented. It has become as ubiquitous as the lariat in Puroresu at this point, so one could argue that in the spectrum of modern wrestling Goldberg is as important as Riki Choshu, just in case there are any WONHOF voters reading.

TKG: I really hated last weeks show. While this week was just mediocre, last week was completely unwatchable. So I was really impressed with the opening video package that made last weeks show almost make sense. Also in case any WON HOF voters are reading this, the video package did demonstrate how much of a professional Bischoff is, as he was willing to sell more for Foley than Jumbo did.


What Didnt Work

PAS: I am really amused that a mens body oil sponsors all of the Cade and Jindrak match highlights now. Also Why is there a Final Fantasy X number 2? Wouldnt that just be Final Fantasy 11?

TKG: Did the Duddley family and the Moondogs have legit Hatfield/Mccoy feud in family heat? Did Splatt destroy Dances Withs still? Sign Guy knocked up Fifi? That head hits the bone for the finish really felt like some kind of hateful insider point being scored.

Damn it thats forced. Fuck Phil with the Heidenreich vs. RVD commentary, totally knocked off my pacing.

TKG: Randy Bachman and Billy Crystal vs. La Resistance sucked. I was amused by Rocky coming out during the segment built around building the WWEs attempt to build up a Xmas catalog mailing list, so that Rock could shill his shirt. Hey while you guys are signing this petition that will get you junkmail for the next year, remember everyone needs a Wheres your lips shirt this holiday season Forget lips, Rock really needs to give Dupree advice on what doctor to go to, to knock off your frighteningly steroid enhanced nipples. The whole thing really felt like a way to pop a houseshow without having anything to do with rest of the actual TV show. Rock doesnt run in to stop the beatdown in the main, he just comes in does some stand up, takes a bump, shills his shirt and then gets Mick to do a Foleyroonie.

PAS: Rock has really cycled down for Hollywood. He looks less roided then Coachman now.

TKG: They only have four guys as lumberjacks in the main event. What kind of third rate indy in a garage cant get more than four guys to work in a lumberjack match? I mean how small is their roster? Four man lumberjacks realy is like having a three man battle royale. Just looks budget. Plus the whole match is built around getting HBK over. WTF? He doesnt work house shows. I get the WONS. Booker and Goldberg are working your house show mains against Evolution. Neither has gotten a clean pin on Henry, while HBK has. HBK gets to be last man to clean house and cause the pin to boot. WTF????

The only way this works if theyre booking a Scopes Trial Born Again Christian vs. Evolution angle. I could see Ross laying this out:

Ross: Righteous creationist baby face means we need to bury the Jew lawyer"
Gerwitz: "Goldberg's not a lawyer"
Ross: "Shut up HollywoodBoy...we'll also need to bury the monkey"
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#2 Posted on 9.12.03 1114.10
Reposted on: 9.12.10 1114.32
    Originally posted by tomk
    PAS: I am really amused that a mens body oil sponsors all of the Cade and Jindrak match highlights now.
My wife has astutely noted that all the BOD adverts were strategically placed near or around the "get the chyx watchin'" Trish+Lita/Jericho+Christian angle last night. We'll have to see if this trend continues - also, if the chyx are actually watchin'
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