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The 7 - Guest Columns - NWA TNA: November 12, 2003
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Bierwurst
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Since: 2.1.02
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#1 Posted on 26.11.03 1700.32
Reposted on: 26.11.10 1700.47
If I can give you one sound buying piece of advice this year – for those of you with Gamecubes, Mario Kart: Double Dash is the way to go. Keep in mind, I generally hate video games and am not likely to be seen playing Socom or whatever the big game is these days. Also keep in mind I am a Nintendo whore. Also keep in mind, my opinion means jack and you’re welcome to form your own opinions.

Greetings! I’m writing this recap without the knowledge of when it’s going to be posted online for your prying eyes to read. See, I work for an Internet Service Provider. Recently, we upgraded our whole network so our speeds would reflect a 1.7 M/sec download as opposed to the previous 1.2 M/sec. However – those of us who were on the old modems couldn’t get this, unless we swapped our modems for the new platform. So I quickly took advantage, having wanted to get rid of my Nortel modem from day one for Alcatel. I made the request myself, since I really don’t trust anyone besides myself to have it done right.

Alas, things are NOT always as smooth as all that…

When the order was processed, it seems somewhere down the line my apartment number was lost in the mailout – and the package was quickly returned to sender. My line card was upgraded, now only compatible with Alcatel modems, which I currently have none of.

So here’s an NWA TNA recap which will be Really Really Old by the time you read it. Once this is posted, I’ll post next week’s recap tomorrow. (Whenever tomorrow is.) The day after tomorrow, NWA TNA Week 1 is ready to go.

I’ll also assume I’ve got between 2-7 new articles on my homepage from an assortment of writers if you go and take a peak. Go already! You know the place.

This is week #71 for those of you keeping track, and my 21st recap of this show. I should get a medal…or at the very least feedback on the Wienerboard once in awhile. (HINT HINT HINT HINT)

The following program is a live television event and may contain material that is not suitable by all ages. Viewer discretion is advised.

TRANSLATION: Lex Luger main events, tonight baby!

MIKE “Mad Mikey” LOCKWOOD – 1969-2003

Here’s an exciting video package! Why, it’s all the Total Nonstop Action we witnessed last week! You can go hunt down my recap if you didn’t read it already.

A[hg[ 2t3ghvdcx923rlsfo2h0trh0wfid0ni 3rfev

My cat ALWAYS finds the most appropriate times to lie down on my keyboard.

TONIGHT: Sting and AJ Styles vs. Jeff Jarrett and Lex Luger

We start out the exact same way we’ve started out every show in the past month, with JIMMY HART and SCOTT HUDSON standing around a limo, Jimmy clad in a shirt that screams “WHY?” I’m starting to feel the same way about this whole Hulk Hogan deal… Jimmy opens the door to the limo and brings out AJ STYLES – and promises to bring the belt back to him. Yeah, sure Jimmy. Styles is a mite annoyed about the fact Jarrett insinuated that he can’t compete at his level – and states he IS the next level, and suggests Jarrett and Luger can’t hang with him. The fans give him the “you’re so full of shit, but you’re ballsy, so what the hey” cheer. STING walks out of the limo next, to twice the pop, and announces it’s showtime.

Opening credits.

Hello wrestling fans! We’re live from the Asylum, where tonight the focus is on tag-teams. Argh. Tag-team wrestling is fun, but so much harder to recap than singles matches. Our hosts are ANGRY MIKE TENAY and ONE LINE WEST. Let’s kick it right off.

GAUNTLET FOR THE GOLD (for the #1 contenders to the NWA world tag-team titles)

B JIZZLE and CHRIS HARRIS draw the unlucky numbers. Don’t play with my emotions TNA, put AMW over clean, and then even cleaner next week, and then again and again until a year from now I start whining about how they’re holding every down. Harris throws punches, but James throws Big Fat punches, gets the advantage, and nearly dumps Harris with a backdrop. He hangs on though, and crossbody’s James off the top. SPEAR!!!!! Awww, this is a stupid 60 second gauntlet. THE SON (with Trinity) makes me wonder who he’s sleeping with to be maintaining a job. He’s also #3. Hey, the bookers get a clue and have him dumped by the faces immediately! (1:31) Maybe tonight won’t be so bad! Maybe Lex Luger will wrestle like it’s 1988! Trinity and Siaki have words. TNA’s clock is a little slow, but in 60 second intervals I won’t complain. THE MIDNIGHT COWBOY is #4 – to protect the interests of Simon and Swinger. Into the ring – Harris with a spear!! THE REAL DAVID YOUNG draws #5, and Gilberti rolls to the floor. Young hits Harris with a spinebuster, and powerslams James! #6 is CM PUNK and Don West makes a Very Interesting Point, stating that CM Punk is here to win the match. You can’t put a price on commentary like that! (But if you had to, $9.99 is likely what you’d pay.) He nails Gilberti with a crossbody block and follows with a dropkick on James. Harris and Punk get into it, and I shiver at the awesomeness of the idea of an AMW/Gathering feud. If they book it, I will come. (But those mofos know I’m shelling out the dough anyway, and are likely to book whatever the fuck they want.) JAMES STORM enters at #7. David Young has a Hart Attack, just because AMW want to give him one. Next up – together they grab a leg and dump Gilberti! (6:05) EKMO joins our party and kills everyone with his ass. Perhaps it was something he ate. Cruiserweights are no match for our 400 pound Samoans! Get out of here CM Punk, know your place in wrestling! (7:01) David Young manages to stop Ekmo temporarily – but a head to the turnbuckle dizzies him enough to fall off the apron and say goodnight. (7:23) JULIO DINERO rushes the ring, and either he’s #9, or Ron Killings just had his number stolen. Julio says “I want to WIN this match”, eyes his opponents, and decides the easiest man to dump will CLEARLY be Ekmo. To show how well he’s thought this plan through, he goes to lift him up and over the top rope. Fly fat man, fly! I’m starting to think this wasn’t a well laid out plan… Meanwhile, Jizzle dribbles over the top rope, taking Chris Harris with him. (7:38) James Storm tries to give Ekmo a sleeper, followed by a sunset flip and nearly winds up flatter than Wile E. Coyote after a plan gone wrong. RON KILLINGS is of course #10, rounding out our group. Since this isn’t a Cruiserweight Battle Royal, chances are Hugh Morrus will not be making an appearance tonight, so all the fans who paid good money to see him can go home now. Ekmo dumps Julio with ease, and we’re down to 3. (8:43) Ekmo knows the power of the avalanche, and when it’s all said and done, so does Ron Killings. Both faces are laid out, and Ekmo hits ‘em both at the same time (yes, his ass is just that big) with a Banzai. Up for a second – but they THINK this time around and shove him over the top with their legs, and Ekmo is gone. (9:38)

Our final 2 guys shake hands, and Killings slaps Storm. Midring powerslam hits – but the Harlem sidekick does not! SWEET CHIN MUSIC from James Storm gets a 2 count. Killings nails an axekick, but does not follow with a spinaroonie. With the immediate cover, he nearly wins, showing Booker T why he’ll never win a World Title. Double crossbody block connects – and the fans will the men back to their feet. Storm gets up first and hits the 8 Second Ride…but David Young is back with the tennis racket, and distracts the referee. Gilberti enters on the other side, and lays out Storm with a chair. Motherfucking shit. Go to hell Glen. Front suplex, cover, 1, 2, 3. (13:00) **1/2

THE JACKYL and his RED SHIRT SECURITY are in the dark with SCOTT HUDSON. Callis claims to have been shocked by the announcement of Lex Luger – and states there is no way AJ Styles is going to step up to the task of facing Lex. As for Raven, the Red Shirts are going to take him out and end his World Title quest. And finally, on the topic of MANKIND who’s lurking nearby…there’s nothing to discuss. Abyss scares Hudson off.

Gene Okerlund would call it the shank of the evening, and call out Ric Flair. MIKE TENAY doesn’t really have a name for it, and introduces TRIPLE J. “Jeff Jarrett…boy, do we have some ground to cover tonight.” “Tenay, we’re not gonna start this all over. Get the hell out of my ring. The only ground we’ve got to cover is you walking your ass back to the announce table, get the hell out of my ring.” I don’t think this bit could ever get old. Mike makes his Super Angry Face, while Jarrett asks DON WEST to hold his microphone. Instructions: Do not ask any questions. The fans break out in a “WHY” chant, and Jarrett’s ready to break out in hives. Jarrett prefers to ask “when” will Hulk Hogan show his face in the TNA Asylum? West grows a pair, and asks Jarrett why he’d fly to Japan to attack Hulk Hogan if he wants him to show up? “Don West, don’t get smart with me.” Jarrett blames Hogan for starting this – stating Hogan was bragging about all the titles he’d won aside from the NWA Title and started negotiating with management to get a shot. Then he went on every radio show he could, vowing revenge on Jarrett for the attack. Meanwhile, all Jarrett sees is Jimmy Hart. “I will not be ignored. One way or another, we’re gonna settle this. It’s gonna be your choice. Either you can come here to TNA, or I will take TNA to Hulk Hogan once and for all.” I vote for #2! As for tonight, we’ve got a tag-team match pitting Sting and AJ Styles against Jeff Jarrett and Lex Luger. Tonight, they’ll prove that AJ Styles cannot compete on their level. At this point, RAVEN, with the words “CRASH” painted on his chest, breaks up the monotony. “Jeff Jarrett, I heard Sting’s name. I heard AJ Styles’ name. I heard Hogan’s name. I didn’t hear Raven’s name. Are you afraid those tears of joy are gonna turn into a river of sorrow? Were you not paying attention last week when I made a pronouncement. I said I am here to fulfill my destiny. I got rid of the Church, I let Julio and Punk go free, so I only have one thing on my agenda, and that is the NWA World Heavyweight Title.” Jarrett says Raven’s grouped with AJ Styles, he can’t compete on his level. Besides, he’s got some other concerns with the Red Shirt security. “You’d better find yourself a partner Raven.” “I don’t need a partner to take the title from you Jeff.” HAH! Raven strolls down to the ring, but RED SHIRT SECURITY attacks from behind and pound him with a microphone. A chair is setup by Jarrett in the ring – and Raven does what he’s done for about, oh, the last 21 weeks in a row at least, and blades off a drop toe hold. Jarrett and the Red Shirts head to the back.

Here’s a look back at Michael Shane’s Triple Chance Tournament Round 1 from last week, where X was booked over the entire X Division in one night. The exclamation point was the Package Piledriver on Chris Sabin that’s knocked him out of competition.

CHRISTOPHER DANIELS (seed 3) vs. LOW KI (seed 4) (in round 2 of the triple chance tournament)

We trade headlocks and small kicks before Daniels gets caught in the dreaded wristlock of damnation. Daniels manages to escape, and goes to the hammerlock. Low Ki rolls around, while we get a look at SONJAY DUTT in the back (seed 6) who will be replacing Chris Sabin (seed 2) in the tournament. Low Ki starts with the chops – but misses a handspring elbow. Daniels hits a springboard dropkick, sending Low Ki to the floor, and follows with a split legged moonsault to the floor. Back in, Daniels hits some corner shoulderblocks, and follows with a gutbuster for 2. Daniels puts on some sort of bow and arrow, drops an elbow, and attempts to display some personality by chanting “Low Ki” with the fans. He fails. FRANCHISE TRACY takes some notes and talks on the phone. Daniels hits another gutbuster for 2. Low Ki gets some shots in to come back, and follows with a springboard enzuigiri! Ki starts with the chops and nails Daniels with a hard Flying Jalapeno. Here come the kicks! They get a 2 count. Daniels blocks an Irish whip by driving Low Ki to the corner, sets him up top, and chops away. Fall From Grace is set…but Low Ki blocks it by applying a cross armbreaker on the top! Daniels staggers away, Ki leaps…right into a uranage for 2. Double jump moonsault misses, and Ki gets in a kick. That’s followed by a rolling cross armbreaker…but Daniels hooks the bottom rope with his leg. Back up, the Dragon Clutch is applied, but Daniels is holding the ropes so Ki has to break. Daniels gives him an uppercut on the top rope and hits the Fall From Grace this time! Angels Wings hits in the middle of the ring, 1, 2, Low Ki kicks out!!! The crowd is completely dead, for whatever reason. Ki comes back with another enzuigiri variation, and follows with the Tidal Crush! Ki hooks him on the top with the Dragon Sleeper, but Daniels reverses it, goes for the Last Rites…but Ki kicks him in the face! Ki Crusher is blocked, but a leg cradle from Daniels isn’t, 1, 2, 3. (9:44) **1/4 Post match, Ki offers the hand of friendship, Daniels takes it, and Ki heads off. THE MAN THEY CALL X heads down to the ring at this point, walking right past Low Ki – and KILLS Daniels with the Package Piledriver, dropping him head first on the mat! Low Ki looks on.

SHANE DOUGLAS promises a spot in The Franchise to someone unseen…

MEDICAL PERSONEL are looking after Raven, while THE GATHERING hangs around. CM Punk says Raven’s in no place to be wasting his time talking to SCOTT HUDSON, but does say that both he and Julio have volunteered to be Raven’s partner.

CHAD COLLYER (seed 5) vs. SONJAY DUTT (seed 6) (in round 2 of the triple chance tournament)

Hey – both these guys got RSPW votes from me…though in VERY different categories. I’ll let you determine which ones. Dutt takes Collyer down with a drop toe hold hard, but Chad’s right up and chops away. Dutt comes back with some hiptosses, and dropkicks Chad out of the ring. Dutt follows him out with a springboard crossbody block. FRANCHISE TRACY remains on the telephone. Chad comes back by sending Dutt into the guardrail and ringsteps. Back in, Collyer beats on the leg of Dutt, and when he stands, gives him an uppercut. A vertical suplex gives Collyer a 2 count. Chad chops away, and drives a knee to Dutt’s midsection. Backdrop suplex is dead on, and gives Collyer another 2 count. Collyer with a double underhook suplex, and now decides to go to the Texas Cloverleaf! Dutt is squirming too much, so Collyer allows him to stand, clotheslines him, and steals a 2 count. Collyer ties Dutt up like a pretzel, focusing on the neck and leg. Dutt attempts to come back with an Irish whip into a dropkick, only Collyer hooks the ropes, Dutt hits canvas, and Collyer slaps on the Texas Cloverleaf!!!! Dutt starts the long crawl, and hooks the bottom rope. Collyer tries to drag him out to the middle of the ring, but Dutt shoves him off, and headbutts him in the midsection. Calcutta Cut connects, and Collyer’s down! Collyer comes back, and gets Dutt on his shoulders, but Dutt flops around until he’s able to hit a spinning DDT off the shoulders! That’s not gonna keep Collyer down – only a 2 my friend. Collyer blocks a Lionsault with his knees, hits a bridging German suplex…for 2. Collyer drops his knee on the back of Dutt’s knee, and ties him back up in the Texas Cloverleaf. Dutt manages to grap a leg, rolls through, 1, 2, 3! (6:20) ***1/4 TWELVE MORE MINUTES!!!!! Dutt runs up the ramp…right into the arms of THE MAN THEY CALL X. Dutt eats a powerslam right on the ramp, and can kiss his spinal cord goodbye.

I need some chicken wings. Be back shortly!

From the beauty of typing, rather than relaying you this word for word (which would be incredibly boring) – I’m back in what seems like mere milliseconds rather than half an hour.

Didja hear the one about Jim Duggan in the room full of strippers? He kept screaming “GET OFF MY LAP, HOOOOO!”

Yes, that was *incredibly* weak. I live for groans!

THE INTERROGATORS

Yeesh, we haven’t had this segment in awhile. September 3 by my stats. Our friends this week are ERIK WATTS and GOLDILOCKS. Let the interrogation begin!

(Watts) Lex Luger: Million dollar body, 10 cent talent, ego mania

(Goldilocks) Scott Hudson: Great dresser and job stealer

(Watts) Wrestling influence: Cowboy Bill Watts, Dick Murdoch, Harley Race, Ricky Steamboat

(Goldilocks) Musical influence: Prince, Van Halen, and the Crew

(Watts) Don Harris: Equalizer

(Goldilocks) Joanie Laurer’s new CD: Makes a great gift

(Watts) Red Shirt security: Heckle and Jeckyl

(Goldilocks) Singles or tag-team: We’ll have to charge you for that question

(Watts) Goldilocks: Needed the oral…errr, moral support

(Goldilocks) Erik Watts: Hasn’t screwed up yet

(Watts) Hulk Hogan: To wrestling as Elvis is to rock and roll

(Goldilocks) Hulk Hogan: Wish he was her musical manager

(Watts) Don Callis: A pain, not enough room for both Watts and Callis

(Goldilocks) Don Callis: A power hungry SOB

SCOTT HUDSON stands outside the locker room of Lex Luger – and wants a word. Naturally, TRIPLE J answers the door. He says Hudson’s as nosy as Tenay, and he cannot speak to Luger. He then slams the door.

MANKIND (with The Jackyl) vs. HEAVY D (with Chris Vaughn)

Once again, HOW does this guy keep finding work? Abyss misses an avalanche and crotches himself on the middle rope. Harris clotheslines him over the top rope – and then drives him into the guardrail. Abyss comes back with a whip into the guardrail of his own and kicks Harris. Back in, this time Abyss hits the avalanche, and Harris crumbles. Abyss hits a second avalanche, and lays in some open handed slaps. Out of the corner, Abyss nails a clothesline and chokes Harris out. Abyss clubs on the back of Harris, and the match continues to drag. I’ll note this is all the action over the first 5 minutes. Harris makes a small comeback, but takes a knee to the midsection. A sideslam gets 2 for Abyss. From the second rope – a guillotine legdrop misses, both men stand, and are trading punches. Abyss goozles Harris, but takes a kick to the nuts – and a boot to the face. Harris nails the chokeslam, 1, 2, Abyss THANKFULLY kicks out. Harris turns to pull Callis into the ring, but Abyss spins him around, hits the Black Hole, and scores the pin. (7:09) 1/4* Tenay: “What a great contest!” Chris Vaughn gets in the ring and takes a sitdown backbreaker for fun. AJ STYLES hits the ring next – and we’ve got us a standoff. AJ lands a couple of shots – but Abyss picks him up like nothing and tosses him to the outside! Styles lands on his feet – jumps back onto the apron, nails a rana, and clotheslines Abyss to the outside!!!! Harris throws Styles a chair, just incase – but Don Callis pulls Abyss to the back.

3 LIVE KRU are hangin’ with SCOTT HUDSON. Konnan has nothing to feel…that’s enough. Konnan says Killings represented, and kept it gangsta. “Words in Mexican”. Hudson asks for a translation – but James says that he doesn’t want to know. AMERICA’S MOST WANTED join the scene and tell the Kru that if they win, they want the first shot, and if they lose, then to get the hell out of the way.

RED SHIRT SECURITY vs. RAVEN and ???

Raven’s got a limp, and a microphone. “I suppose that maybe I’d be foolish not to pick a partner, so I thought to myself who’s the filthiest, dirtiest, most evil person that I’ve ever fought? Who’s the only person who beat me half to death and lived to tell about it? Now I don’t know if I can trust him, but I figure he can’t hate me anymore than he hates the two of you. So I’ll introduce my partner, welcome SANDMAN.” Raven and Sandman immediately start hitting anyone in red with kendo sticks and trash cans! In the ring, Raven nails Northcutt with the can a couple of times, and clears the ring of him. From there – they share a beer. Sandman and Northcutt start – and Sandman wins the dukefest. Big boot, bulldog, and Northcutt is down! Slingshot legdrop from Sandman is on target – and from there he hotshots him onto the top, and legdrops him again while he hangs! Raven enters and kicks Northcutt in the face, follows with an avalanche, and then a bulldog for 2. Raven comes off the ropes, but Wilson pulls down the ropes and Raven tumbles to the outside. Back in, Raven takes a running knee from Northcutt and he gets 2. Wilson comes in and delivers some shoulder blocks to Raven’s ribcage. Running clothesline connects, and gets 2 for Wilson. Northcutt hits a superkick and scores a 2 count. Wilson comes in, delivers a big boot, and gets 2. Northcutt hits a scoopslam for 2 – and a closeup shows Raven’s cut flowing pretty heavily. Raven dodges a blind charge, does a commando crawl on the ropes to the corner, and tags in Sandman who’s wielding a kendo stick. Shots for everyone! Northcutt takes a backdrop followed by the white Russian legsweep, 1, 2, kickout! Wilson takes a baseball slide dropkick from Sandman, and hits a rana on Northcutt! The referee however is on the floor dealing with Raven and Wilson – and fails to notice JUST JOE hitting the ring, and taking out Sandman with a clothesline. Back in, 1, 2, 3. (7:51) * The damage isn’t done though, as we’ve got a 3-on-2 beatdown. THE GATHERING charges and clears the ring of Red Shirts and Legend. CM Punk announces this is the “second time” they’ve saved the day – but they’ve given everyone time to recover, so once again the Red Shirts and Legend are on the attack. Raven gets handcuffed to the ropes, and now ERIK WATTS comes down for the save. He clotheslines everyone and drops Northcutt with a chairshot. Watts grabs the stick, and books a Clockwork Orange House Of Fun with Raven, Sandman, and Watts against Red Shirt Security and Legend.

DON WEST directs people to NWATNA.com to buy merchandise. Hey, where ARE my DVDs? If I could get online, I imagine I could get some answers.

NEXT WEEK: 3 Live Kru vs. Simon and Swinger, 6-man Clockwork Orange House Of Fun, and…that’s pretty much all we know.

STING and AJ STYLES (with Jimmy Hart) vs. TRIPLE J and LEX LUGER (with The Jackyl)

The FIRST thing that came to mind when seeing Luger? “Paul Orndorff”. Tenay notes this is Luger’s first US match since WCW folded – but I’m more than happy to take that a little further and note it’s his first US match since he and Bagwell threw temper tantrums and wound up lying down for Sean O’Haire and Chuck Palumbo in under a minute on pay-per-view, clean as a whistle. Callis grabs the stick. It’s become obvious to him that he has no business being in the same ring as Jeff Jarrett and Lex Luger. Luger then grabs the microphone, and adds it’s great to be in the ring with Jeff Jarrett, but being in the ring with “AC Styles is it?” It’s a crime, he doesn’t belong there. Sting grabs a mic of his own and adds that they’re right, Styles shouldn’t be in the ring with Luger and Jarrett because he’s completely out of their league. “Welcome to Nashville Total Package, get ready for AJ Styles and the Stinger bro.” Nobody’s brought up the fact that Sting and Luger have been on again, off again friends for 17 years on camera yet. We’re off. Sting and Jarrett start – with Jarrett taking an atomic drop. 2 quick clotheslines follow, and Sting tags in Styles. Styles chops away and delivers a picture perfect dropkick! Scoop slam from Styles is followed by a kneedrop for 2. Slingshot legdrop hits his target while Sting crotches Luger before he can fully enter the ring. Both guys go for Scorpion Deathlocks on their opponents, but Luger and Jarrett roll away. The fans start a legitimate “A – J” chant, which makes me feel warm for some reason. In comes Luger. Styles kicks at the leg of Luger, tries a shoulderblock, but Luger just stands there and Styles falls, having exerted too much energy. Gorilla press slam catches Styles, and a hiptoss is right behind. Tenay nicely refers to this as “methodical offence.” Styles attempts a springboard crossbody, but Luger catches him and bearhugs him. Styles is dropped – and Jarrett is tagged in. Jarrett stomps away on the fallen Styles, picks him up, and hits a spinebuster for 2! Luger gets back in and hits a trademark clothesline before tagging back out. The fans continue their “A – J” chant, so Styles tries a rana, but it’s blocked by Jarrett who holds him in a powerbomb position. Styles holds his hand out and tags in Sting…except the referee is busy with Luger, misses it – and tells Sting to get his ass back to the corner. The powerbomb from Jarrett is completed, and he and Luger stomp away. Luger slams Styles’ face into the turnbuckle and Jarrett hits a gutbuster. Figure four is called for, but Styles kicks at Jarrett, misses an enzuigiri, but hits the second attempt! Styles tags out again, but again the referee was with Jarrett and misses it. Sting throws a fit! Just to make it THAT much funnier, Luger enters without a tag. Luger sends Styles to the outside, and Sting’s had enough, comes in, and starts hitting Stinger Splashes. Jarrett is nailed with a Scorpion Deathdrop, the idiot referee counts an illegal pinfall, 1, 2, Luger stops it. Luger nails Sting with a lowblow, goes to put him in the Rack, but Sting fights out and clotheslines Jarrett to the floor. Styles flies off the top suddenly with a crossbody on Luger – but only gets a 1. Outside, Sting nails Jarrett with the title belt, but Luger’s got Styles in the Rack!!! Sting enters with the bat, drives it into Luger’s midsection, he falls, Styles hangs on, rolls him up, 1, 2, 3!!!!!!!! (10:34) *1/4 Luger’s eyes bug out of his head, and attacks Sting. Sting fights back with shots from the baseball bat. Meanwhile, Styles goes to hit Jarrett with a Styles Clash, but MANKIND comes rushing in from nowhere. BLACK HOLE SLAM on Styles!!! Jarrett grabs the mic to talk trash about Hogan – but suddenly RAVEN dives in to attack, but not without RED SHIRT SECURITY and JUST JOE right behind him. Everyone’s brawling – and we’re out of time!

Yeesh. This week was terrible. Wrestlers need not apply.
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