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From: Montreal, Quebec, CANADA
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Last activity: 2643 days
|#1 Posted on 15.10.03 2230.24 |
Reposted on: 15.10.10 2230.36
| Dru Onyx is going to England to tour with NWA (UK) Hammerlock. So, I sat down to write a press release for that which turned into an exercise in Trash Talking. Now, that works fine for normal wrestling media, but for the local press who don't really understand wrestling it causes a problem. I decided to write a more normal introduction for them and turned into an ugly tirade about how the local media have already made their minds up about wrestling. Ugly but hopefully entertaining for you.|
The first part is what I wrote for the local media. The second part is what I wrote for the more traditional wrestling press.
As a pre-emptive footnote, Jack Todd, the Montreal Gazette star sports columnist responded to the press release. I have volleyed back and if it goes any where, I may print the results here.
Rodney Kellman, who wrestles for the Internet Wrestling Syndicate under the name Dru Onyx, has been invited (and is being paid) to fly to England to compete for the British Wrestling Federation: NWA (UK) Hammerlock. This federation, considered by experts to be the home of the best technical wrestlers in Britain, operates under the aegis of the National Wrestling Alliance, a US based international sanctioning body for professional wrestling. While not as famous or as popular as the WWE, the NWA is an older body steeped in respect for wrestling's traditions and which can trace its roots and title back to 1908. It, along with the WWE, is one of two wrestling organizations that can truly be called international federations.
Now, I know that there are those amongst the Quebec media who don't consider wrestling a sport, not to name any names **coffJackToddcoff** This is not the time or place to have that argument, although if the objection is that the results of wrestling are pre-determined, well an awful lot of ink is spilled in this province reporting on similarly rigged sports like oh say, Formula One, Boxing, Figure Skating, Synchronized Swimming and Baseball. I'm also sure that many of you dismiss my periodic news releases on the basis that people hitting one another over the heads with chairs is not news, it's a typical Chomedey Saturday night.
But I don't think that anyone can argue with me that wrestlers are athletes. And, I would submit, when a Montreal athlete is invited, is being paid, to travel across the Atlantic to perform for an international organization, THAT IS NEWS. It's something that your readers/listeners/viewers would be interested in and should know about.
I will admit to some ulterior motives. If, in the process of publicizing Rodney's well-deserved success, I get some reflected glory and publicity for the IWS, well that is my goal. But Rodney would be the first to tell you that if anything is true in wrestling it is this: you can only be as good in the ring as your opponent helps you to be. If wrestling is a story-telling art like figure skating or synchronized swimming, like those athletic arts, a wrestler and his opponent, like a dancer and his partner, must help each other to tell the story together. Over the past year, Dru has been able to demonstrate that he is a world-class athlete, because his opponents, equally world-class athletes, have helped him do that. Opponents like Steve Royds, Green Phantom, El Generico, EXcesS69, Evil Ninja, Sunny War Cloud, the Arsenal and Sexxxy Eddy have all assisted Dru to prove his ability.
I know that for most of you that list of names looks like something that belongs in a Marvel comic book. But behind each one of those cartoonish names is an athlete, usually a young man, who has dedicated untold hours to his craft, determined to entertain Quebeckers by putting on the best athletic performance that he can. In the process, these men have helped rejuvenate Montreal's reputation for wrestling excellence and have focused the attention of the world on Montreal. (Which is why parenthetically, that I can get these press releases printed in newspapers in Miami and Charlestown and Ottawa and on web-sites in Japan and Germany and Italy.)
I recognize and sympathize that you all have limitations of space and time. You can't tell all the stories. You must pick and choose. But I would suggest to you that, in this case, your preconceptions of what wrestling is, has blinded you to a story about Quebec athletes, world-class athletes performing their craft, and perfecting their art. Your editorial choices have denied your readers a story that they would be interested in.
Obviously, this is a cri du coeur, and I hope you'll forgive me for that, but I could weep when I think of the stories untold and lost. I don't talk about Precious Lucy aka LuFisto in these press releases, because she does not wrestle in the IWS, at least not recently, but hers is a story of ambition thwarted by injury, of determination and work ethic overcoming the failings of the human body, of an athlete surmounting enormous obstacles to achieve their life's ambition only to have it snatched away again at the very moment when triumph seemed certain. It's a story that did you but know it, would rip your heart out to pass it through a blender, and just when you had regained your composure would rip your heart out anew to break it like the shattering of fine crystal. This is a story of a Montreal athlete, that is told with admiration and respect in Tokyo and is unknown here in Montreal where she lives. And while hers may be the most poignant untold story here in Montreal, it is by far not the only one.
But today, this is not her story, this is Rodney Kellman's story, a story of personal triumph and a long overdue recognition of real talent. The following is my official press release to help tell that story. Because it is intended for wrestling press, it features the kind of trash talking that is expected by that press, especially because Rodney will be travelling to Britain as a monstrous and evil Canadian heel. (A Colossal, Canadian Colonial Corrupter, if you will) Rodney is also a Clutch Records recording artist under the name R-Kade.
I hope that what I have written is helpful to you, but if you need more information you can contact me by e-mail.
If you would like to speak to Rodney before he leaves for Britain, please let me know and I will arrange that for you.
An IWS Press Release
Internet Wrestling Syndicate
Montreal, Québec, CANADA
Wednesday, October 15th, 2003
*FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE*
Dru Onyx Prepares to Invade: Britain Braces for Bajan Bomber
Dru Onyx will be flying to Britain next week to tour Britain with NWA (UK) Hammerlock. The former IWS champion will have a unique opportunity to prove why he is considered one of Canada’s best heavyweights on the world stage. NWA (UK) Hammerlock is Britain’s finest promotion for technical wrestling, and through its ties with the National Wrestling Alliance is part of a proud hundred year tradition of grappling excellence, stretching from current NWA World Champion, A. J. Styles, to the first undisputed World Champion, Karl Gotch, who won in 1908.
The six foot two inch, 325 pound Dru Onyx was trained by Quebec wrestling legend Marc "Le Grizzly" Pilon and made his professional wrestling debut, June 12th, 1999. Dru was born in the Barbados, grew up in Chomedey, Laval, Quebec and presently makes his home in the West Island of Montreal. Here in Canada, the Butcher from Barbados wrestles under his real name Dru Onyx, but while wrestling abroad he will be saluting his heritage by wrestling under his family title SoA, the Spirit of Allah.
Dru Onyx was in a feisty, combative mood when I sat down to speak to him about his upcoming trip. As Onyx ran his conditioning drills in the IWS training facility, he dismissed the notion that he should be intimidated by his leap to the world stage.
“Those chumps at Hammerlock won’t know what hit them. If they only knew how bad it was going to be they would be on the phone right now to Heathrow: ‘Stop the plane from Canada! Send it back! Don’t let it land! The Bajan Bomber is on it! Don’t let that monster off the plane!’ Because once I am off the plane and through customs, it is too late. People are going to get hurt. People are going to suffer.”
Dru Onyx is an ambitious man who clearly knows that this is a great career opportunity for him.
“You know why they call it a stepping stone? Because I am going to be stepping, and those English punks are going to end up with tomb stones!”
Known in Canada as a man who takes the craft of wrestling seriously, Dru Onyx has declared that this trip will be a ‘working vacation’ for him.
“See, I don’t wrestle for the money. I don’t wrestle to win. Don’t get me wrong. I hate losing, but I really wrestle because I like making people suffer. So this is perfect for me. I get to visit a new country, see the sights, meet some interesting people... and hurt them. I am going to Jolly Old England, because there are bones for me to break, and women for me to take!”
NWA (UK) Hammerlock is know world wide for training excellent technical wrestlers. Onyx reportedly has been brushing up on his grappling technique, but he insists that he is not worried by the reputation of NWA (UK) Hammerlock’s finest.
“Yeah, I’ve heard the stories. In Britain, people are born to wrestle, bred to compete and trained to win. So, I’m looking at this as a learning opportunity. I’m going to go toe to toe with the best wrestlers in Britain and I’m going to learn them that if you put the Bajan Bomber in an arm bar, I will rip your arm off and beat you to death with it. You call yourself technically born? You say you were technically bred? You face me, you’ll end up technically dead!”
While at press time, Dru Onyx does not know who his opponents in Britain will be, he is unconcerned. He doesn’t feel that he needs to prepare for any one opponent to be ready for him.
“Ready for those chumps? I know what I’m going to be facing. I’m going to get in the ring against some short, skinny, snaggle-toothed, knock-kneed, too stupid to come out of the rain, crying for his mama punk who is going to take one look at me and say his prayers while he fills his drawers. Ready for them? They are not ready for me! How do you prepare for 325 pounds of Canadian Mean? How do you get ready to face a man who lives to hurt people?”
Normally belligerent, Dru Onyx turns downright hostile when asked to predict his win-loss record while on tour with NWA (UK) Hammerlock.
“Let me tell you something. When you get in the ring with Onyx, you had better not be thinking of winning and losing, you had better be concentrating real hard on ways to keep breathing. After a Dru Onyx match, the announcers don’t talk about victors and the vanquished, they announce the survivors and the casualties!”
Dru Onyx will be appearing with NWA (UK) Hammerlock on the following dates and at the following locations:
Monday, October 27th, at the Winter Gardens in Margate, Kent;
Tuesday, October 28th, at the Civic Hall in Bedworth, Warwickshire;
Wednesday, October 29th, at the Castle Hall in Hertford, Hertfordshire;
and Friday, October 31st, at the Civic Hall in Grays, Essex.
All of us at the Internet Wrestling Syndicate would like to wish Dru Onyx the best of luck on his trip, only we are not entirely certain that he is going to need it. In fact, we would invite him to break a leg, if we were not convinced that he already intends to break a leg - someone else’s leg - during his trip. Instead we would like to wish the best of luck to Dru Onyx’s opponents, or as we call them in Montreal, victims. We hope that they have a lot of luck and bandages, lots and lots of bandages.
Dru Onyx will be appearing with the stars of the Internet Wrestling Syndicate as the IWS presents Blood, Sweat and Beers scheduled for Saturday, October 18th, at Le Skratch, 965 Cure Labelle, Chomedey, Laval, Québec. Doors open at 8:30 pm. Tickets are twelve dollars. For information about the show e-mail email@example.com or visit the Internet Wresting Syndicate at their web-site: http://www.syndicatewrestling.com/. For information about IWS merchandise & DVDs, our wholesale prices or our customer referral program e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org or order from http://xrv.com/iws/. The following IWS show will be called Payback’s A Bitch and is scheduled to be held Saturday, November 15th, at Le Skratch. Dru Onyx’s web-site is http://www.dru-onyx.com/. NWA Hammerlock’s web-site is http://www.hammerlock-wrestling.com/.
For those who would like pictures of Dru Onyx, the following are some of the many featured on the Internet Wrestling Syndicate web-site. Permission to use these and other photos on the web-site is conditional on credit for the photo being given to the IWS, and all legal rights and copyright to the photo belong to the IWS.
A good recent picture of Dru Onyx demonstrating his rather unique definition of sportsmanship can be found here (the crumpled victim is Sexxxy Eddy):
Onyx greeting his fan(s):
Onyx in the process of trying to break EXcesS69’s leg:
Two angles of the same move, Sexxxy Eddy giving Onyx a Suplex:
And from a reverse angle:
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