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The 7 - Guest Columns - RAW is HAIKU! 05/26/03
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Notorious F.A.B.
Pepperoni
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#1 Posted on 27.5.03 0418.05
Reposted on: 27.5.10 0420.55
Raw is HAIKU!
May 26, 2003

One world attitude
Last week came before tonight
Respect does not job

-

Move to the music
Forget, refuse and wake up
That fucking music

-

I know I'm sexy
Broken back and we are live
I'm not your boy toy

-

duh... duh... DUH... DUH-DUH!
And thus spake Zarathustra:
"Space mountain, fat boy!"

-

Rub up on my dick
Ego reciprocated
I rub up on yours

-

Amused at old age
It's all about Triple H
but 'Naitch stands alone

-

Hair dye and leather
Back and better than ever
Stomach calm, at ease

-

Hey, fuck that Stone Cold
and fuck you guys' match, too
It's not worth Mobile

-

In Houston Texas
sure, but now screwy booking
Handicaps to swerve

-

The King's Internet
Take interest in the poll
Disregard titties

-

Don't hate the player
I'm over despite Wendy's
Now can you dig that?

-

Ms. Handcock and Balls
Remember to tie in Scott
but most still don't care

-

Test, Test, it's a Test
Set up your girl and job clean
You're a dick, Andrew

-

Who beat up Austin?
They must have broke his watch too
No shower slip, that

-

Flattery comes first
Poker face past rejection
Anger is on next

-

Triple H provokes
Austin will not meet his eye
The match is still on

-

Recall your old names
They enumerate chances
Unless Vince forgets

-

Val pins Big Stevie
Trish is there to commentate
Good enough nothing

-

Big Daddy and Coach
Ad-libs not taken cause smirks
read the script and cut

-

Kevin is the top
Game the aggressive bottom
Together they love

-

Christian's new big belt
He'll run with it for a month
I'm happy for Book

-

Stone Cold and Bischoff
One wonders where is Elmer
for Daffy and Bugs?

-

Beer before singing
Lilian's wet and smiling
Thirteen-year-olds wank

-

The Black Scorpion
Lurks behind the Nature Boy
He's been juicing, too

_

Does Goldust look strong?
Or is it Christian who's weak?
This booking is hard.

-

Home of the Whopper
Free for you and cheap for them
Please go see "The Hulk"

-

Send me a white boy
No time for your haterade
Be-lee that, player
-

You killed my brother
Challenge another Dudley
Mack equals ratings

-

Bischoff makes a match
A singles match, one on one
There's another kind?

-

Starburst Sour's sour face
You have shamed my ancestors
Now prepare to die

-

You go face Goldberg
You think about what you did
You'll have ten seconds

-

Limousine riding
Kiss stealing, wheeling, dealing
Son of a gun, WOOOOOOOOOO!

-

Pot smoking retard
This is Americana
We can smoke the French

-

Once those two showed up
The flag match had to happen
It made the crowd pop

-

Stupid local fed
The morning DJ sidekick
Does not inspire hope

-

Here's the High Light Reel
The main event must be short
Ah well, that's just Raw

-

Whisker Biscuit's mad
Stammering threats bely him
He's not jobbing clean

-

Working is legit
Tell your secrets to the Net
"Shoot" is in the eyes

-

Jericho gets big
Work the mic another night
Chris gets bigger still

-

Mysterious spray
Jack the spear and hammer him
Run, Jericho! Run!

-

Ten minutes left
I think it's time to go home
Where is the screw job?

-

Shawn, you're just like Sting
Here's your bat and your Bible
Tell it to the lights

-

Nash gets his clock cleaned
Hunter's got some new friends now
Evolution, bitch!

-

Of Hunter, Orton,
Bautista and Flair, only
Flair started on Raw

-

Raw has gotten good
While Smackdown! treads its water
with no show to buy
Promote this thread!
Wolfram J. Paulovich
Frankfurter
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#2 Posted on 27.5.03 1558.01
Reposted on: 27.5.10 1559.01
Hey!

http://www.onlineonslaught.com/columns/lund/20021004.shtml

http://www.onlineonslaught.com/columns/lund/20021205.shtml



Although I did like these:

duh... duh... DUH... DUH-DUH!
And thus spake Zarathustra:
"Space mountain, fat boy!"

Hair dye and leather
Back and better than ever
Stomach calm, at ease

Starburst Sour's sour face
You have shamed my ancestors
Now prepare to die
Notorious F.A.B.
Pepperoni
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#3 Posted on 27.5.03 1615.45
Reposted on: 27.5.10 1624.13
Well, crap. That was hard too!

HairRaiser
Kishke
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#4 Posted on 29.5.03 1910.45
Reposted on: 29.5.10 1912.05
Limousine riding
Kiss stealing, wheeling, dealing
Son of a gun, WOOOOOOOOOO!


Perfect! :-) The Starburst Sour haiku was quite good too. Nice work!
Wolfram J. Paulovich
Frankfurter
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#5 Posted on 29.5.03 1938.25
Reposted on: 29.5.10 1941.45
Are you shipwrecked? Send
Up a Flair. The Coast Guard will
Respond to a "Whoooo!"
PalpatineW
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#6 Posted on 29.5.03 2256.36
Reposted on: 29.5.10 2258.09
That was amazing.
I stand in awe of talent
like yours, F.A.B.
Notorious F.A.B.
Pepperoni
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#7 Posted on 30.5.03 0106.01
Reposted on: 30.5.10 0106.09
Thanks guys!

My personal favorite is:

Mysterious spray
Jack the spear and hammer him
Run, Jericho! Run!

Runner up is this one because it's so weird:

Working is legit
Tell your secrets to the Net
"Shoot" is in the eyes



Poetry RULES~!
spf
Scrapple
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#8 Posted on 1.6.03 2058.57
Reposted on: 1.6.10 2059.02
Anybody else
Waiting for Jericho to
Wear a steel plate?

Flair turning evil
I fear that this has been seen
too many times before.



(edited by spf2119 on 1.6.03 2101)
The Great Thomas
Sujuk
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#9 Posted on 5.6.03 0000.20
Reposted on: 5.6.10 0003.24
It's easy to write
A haiku; all you need are
Seventeen syllab
Notorious F.A.B.
Pepperoni
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#10 Posted on 5.6.03 0025.23
Reposted on: 5.6.10 0026.03
Genius!

And since this is causing a "new" icon next to this forum, here's a sneak peak at this week's Raw (I still have twenty minutes left to do of the show):

Now that we're back live
It's time to show you again
What just happened here
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