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The 7 - Pro Wrestling - SmackDown! Report 9-12-02
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The Great Thomas
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#1 Posted on 12.9.02 2100.37
Reposted on: 12.9.09 2118.56
I've been cordially invited to a commitment ceremony? Before I can go, it's time for The Great Thomas SmackDown! Report!

Lesnar vs. Hardcore: Lesnar won.

Taker: Dammit, did he have to bring Sara into the WWE AGAIN?! Who's she gonna get over this time? Brock?

Guerrero/Guerrero vs. Edge/Cena: Proto's got nasty purple/gold generic tights. Chavo's ass... EECCCHHHH!!!

Don Tony And His Stacker 2: What's "Effederin"?

Angle Likes To Manhandle Boys: Ha! Ha! Ha! Angle rules!

Angle vs. Mysterio: Amazing. These two are fucking amazing together. Seriously. Five-Star Match!

Benoit vs. Rikishi: HOLY SHIT! ELECTRICHAIRDROP to Rikishi! HOLY SHIT! But he still gets the Arse of Life. Ah, well, them's the breaks, Chris!

Pre-Committment Ceremony: So we get to see Benoit vs. Angle at Unforgiven, and we also get to see Heel Hardy get his ass kicked by Taker. Joy. Rico plays his "Stylist" gimmick to perfection tonight.

The Committment Ceremony: At least the "Raining Men" singers were better than the other singers at HHH and Stephie's re-wedding. Pimp-Godfather's appearance was surreal. Oh, look! It was Uncle Eric in a mask! And Jamal and Rosey have attended! SQUASHES FOR EVERYBODY! Good News: B&C are now faces. Bad News: They're also straight.

Torrie vs. Nidia: Nidia lost. Boooo.

Undertaker vs. Hardy v.1: Hardy's new music RULES! Near SQUAAAAASH MAAAAAAATCH!

That's all for this week. Until then, Good Night, take care of yourselves, and if you want to see same-sex marriages, don't look for them in WWE. Go see Jerry Springer.

(edited by The Great Thomas on 12.9.02 1918)
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#2 Posted on 12.9.02 2113.05
Reposted on: 12.9.09 2129.01
Dang you Great Thomas, and your self-felating user pic, too!

NOT a Fashion Report.

So, I miss the first 50 minutes of the show 'cuz I was busy working. Thank me when you drive on the highways.

Angle/Mysterio JIP. What I saw was great. I was busy making supper, though.

Hey, a wedding tonight. Have you heard? What about Billy's wife and kids (whom we saw on RAW about three years ago; I think he lost that match)? And, unless I'm mistaken, isn't Hawaii the only state that recognizes same-sex marraiges?

Speaking of weddings, the only people have them is the presents. I mean, all they do is get up in front of a bunch of people and say some words. And, for that, they get LOADS of presents. True, most of 'em are lame, but still it's presents.

Ben-wa/AssOfLife. Hey, Forcible Entry is STILL availible in stores NOW. Interresting "match". The crowd likes big butts. Angle/Ben-wa - who will be the face? Still making supper; it's not just a hamburger, to me it's a MEAL.

Why does Cole keep calling it a "wedding" when the graphics all say "commitment ceremony"?

Steph chats with her... agitated Ben-wa. Mat interrupts the moment. I'm out of cheese! My burgers are SO sub-par (and I feel guilty, living in Wisconsin and all, that I'm out of cheese).

Rico wears a grey tux w. a zebra-stripped vest. Singers of "It's Raining Men" wear black dresses; the one on the right doesn't match. Billy/Chuck, the grooms, wear black tuxs with red cumberbuns (with names!). Ha, he said "hold your piece"; wait, maybe he meant "peace". Apparently pimpin' IS easy. Ah, it's so good to have the PTC off the WWF's back. Hey, Bisch ain't wearing leather! It's a FASHION REPORT BREAKING NEWS THINGY. Oh-oh, I smell cross-promotional storylines (but it's so cute to see the SD! guys wait 'til AFTER Steph is squashed to run-in). 25 minutes of my life.

Women's match; sorry, I was getting a beer and when I got back it was over.

Matt, with new music and Brocky and Paul, vs. Taker, w.out his pregnant wife (who's in back). Um, didn't they learn from the whole DDP/Taker thing that DeadMan's wife doesn't equal ratings? Anyway, it's a non-match (to me at least).

Overall - since I only watched about half the show, I'll say "eh". I need another beer.
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#3 Posted on 12.9.02 2135.19
Reposted on: 12.9.09 2137.20
Here are my thoughts: (Is it safe to post here now?):

1) Brock curtain jerking on Smackdown. HHH's title matches at the midway point on Raw.


Molly in Heat (whew-yeah, what a pervetedly wholesome thought!! I meant Molly ON Heat).


Maybe they should join forces and demand respect. Forgettable 1st match.

2) Chavo likes stinkface incest!?!? At least Rikishi keeps professionally cool when he does it. At least the Guerreros won.

3) Angle/Mysterio--another great match, this time Mysterio carrying it. Whoa, Angle the chickeh hawk, ooooh.

4) Benoit/Rikishi--good spots, bad transistions. Benoit you wimp, you used to chase down mofos like Angle who embarrased you. This is the same Benoit who dropped a garage door on Jericho because Jericho helped Chyna beat him? Now I know the WWE is going down the drain.

4) The ceremony was a great segment. Only thing is: The Godfather???

5) Nidia hit her character spots. (I read a story where a Hawaiian priestess defeated a British martial arts champion by spitting betel nuts to his ear, making him lose his balance. Nidia should be using that tack with her gum.) The rest of the match was eh. The women have to acknowledge the crowd during the match. Do a voodoo ceremony or something. Have the fans say "We want brain".

6) Final match was just hype for Unforgiven. Not sure that I like people used as props, including pregnant props.

Good show to start the season.

(edited by deadbeater on 12.9.02 2258)
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