Well, it was a pretty shitty show, but fun to watch live. The heroes of this pay-per-view were clearly the Winnie the Pooh and Tigger pair. Not only for the costumes, but they also had signs like "I fling Pooh." Excellent double entendres from those two.
Honorable mention goes to another front-row mark who sported a hockey jersey and a French flag. Before the show started, this guy drew more boos than most of the heels on the card. Also enjoyable was a middle-aged man with a "Big Sexy" sign that had an arrow pointing down. Surprisingly, this man wasn't involved in the main event.
Oh, and there were a lot of 3-year-olds hoisted on their dad's shoulders, the better to display their foam middle-finger hands.
Women's match was okay. Their bumps looked really, really soft, maybe just because we were close to the ring. Ivory reminds me of a 40-something Junior Leaguer who got implants in the hopes that her husband would stop cheating on her.
We tried like hell to boo Golberg. Assisting were a significant number of Goldberg haters on the camera side. On the floor, we tried to get decent "Goldberg Sucks" and "Y2J" chants going. Don't know how well they came across. He genuinely looked baffled, after the match was over and the chants continued. His finisher got a big pop, though, and there were certainly more cheers than boos for him throughout.
But nothing... NOTHING could match the hilarious-ness that was to follow. Goldberg actually GOT INTO IT with Tigger after his match. This only drew heat on Bill, because the lovable children's book character had already proven far more entertaining than him.
Booker drew some boos from the floor, but I'm gonna chalk that up to good ol' Texas racism. Everyone hated that finish. Except for the racists who cheered Christian by default. They liked it.
The redneck triatholon was pretty pedestrian. Until the horrible, horrible ending. Words can't describe how much I still want to stab my eyes out after having that visual permantly scarred into my retinas. Mae Young in a motherfucking lingerie and a thong. I honestly can't comprehend the depths of Vince McMahon's depravity. This was truly awful live. Awful. One of my friends wanted to leave immediately afterwards. I tried to occupy my mind with happier thoughts, like puppy factories, credit card debt, and all of my ex-girlfriends who have moved on to happy, fulfilling relationships. Didn't do any good. The crowd collectively cringed and turned their heads, similar to the Test/Scott Steiner match. But more so.
During the Austin in-ring promo, I tried to get my swank "CRZ = MARTY" sign on camera. I think I got the top half.
HBK got jeered a bit, even with the Texas tights. I tried to loudly point this out to him, while he and Flair were in mid-resthold, as well as the fact that he and his friends were ruining the business. Oh, and that he and Earl screwed Bret, but I think most people have forgotten him.
The main event was bad. HHH's blade job was the most popular spot of the night. I could tell, because people were saying things like, "Wow, he's really bleeding." I felt a little bad for Nash after the match. His french-braided hair was frizzed out, his puny blade job was dry and his bewildered expression seemed to say, "Okay, now what do I do?" That match seemed to hurt his feelings. It certainly hurt the crowd.
A few lessons learned:
There are not many smarks in Houston.
It's hard to get drunk off $6 beers.
Rebellious young teenage boys like HHH. And Flair. And HHH is far more over than I'd like for him to be. Same with Goldberg.
Apparently, France sucks. Sort of ironic, coming from people who live in Houston.
There are more of them than there are of us. Lots more.
Foley was more over than Nash. Tigger was, too. Austin's pop wasn't as loud as expected. Kane is more over than RVD, now.
Acne on the back is very, very common among sports entertainers. Or maybe they all collectively switched laundry detergent.
(edited by asteroidboy on 16.6.03 1823) -- Asteroid Boy
Wiener of the day: 23.7.02
"My brother saw the Undertaker walking through an airport." - Rex "Was he no-selling?" - Me
They showed Goldberg getting into it with Tigger but quickly cut away. The "Y-2-J" and "GOLDBERG SUCKS" chants were very audible on TV. I liked the guy in the front row with the "GOLDBERG PLEASE GO AWAY" sign. Which oddly wasn't visible when he slammed thru the security barrier and landed in the section the guy was in. Hah.
IN-DEPTH UPDATE ON STEVE AUSTIN STORY; AUSTIN HAS NOT BEEN ARRESTED by Mike Johnson @ 10:15:00 PM on 3/26/2004 In update from an earlier story posted here on PWInsider.com, Steve Austin has not been arrested.