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The W - Pro Wrestling - 1x3 - "Planet Funk is Funked Up"
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John Orquiola
Scrapple








Since: 28.2.02
From: Boston

Since last post: 116 days
Last activity: 116 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.17
I may cobble together fuller thoughts some point soon, but here's the short version:

That episode was horrendous. "Drama" reeking of artifice at best, a candid, nauseating look at a bunch of overgrown children at worst. As someone who loathes "reality shows" in general, that was pretty much everything I dreaded Total Divas would be on the outset. Also, when the show was called "Total Divas" we now know the title refers not just to the women of WWE but to most of their boyfriends as well. These dudes are bigger drama queens than the girls. I'm looking at you, Jey Uso. And especially you, Sebastian.

Except for John Cena, sage voice of reason and maturity, and Bryan Danielson, man amongst men.




Brie is referring to Ariane's announcement that she has tonsilitis, a urinary tract infection, and a yeast infection. She's a triple threat!





(edited by John Orquiola on 12.8.13 1002)


"Cody, I mustache you a question." - The Miz
Promote this thread!
Spiraling_Shape
Bratwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: PA

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 14 hours
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.74
Yeahh....so much manufactured drama and pre-commercial misdirection. WHHAAA?! Trinity *wasn't* talking about her Uso in that clip!? :-O

Best part of the episode = numerous background cameos from Sara Del Rey! Her first WWE TV appearance!
used2bcool
Bockwurst








Since: 5.11.08
From: Lake Forest, IL

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 1 day
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.38
    Originally posted by Brie Bella
    Nikki is an open book, but wow @WWECameron will let you know everything going on with her!! I should of said Girl Bye! -B #totaldivas


I'm appalled to see Daniel Bryan dating someone with questionable grammar skills. It just FEELS like he should have a problem with that. Someone call CM Punk for some lessons!
lotjx
Scrapple








Since: 5.9.08

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 8 hours
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.12
Please tell me this went head to head with Breaking Bad and got killed, so we never have to deal with this again.



The Wee Baby Sheamus.Twitter: @realjoecarfley its a bit more toned down there. A bit.
John Orquiola
Scrapple








Since: 28.2.02
From: Boston

Since last post: 116 days
Last activity: 116 days
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.17
Why would you think they're even the same audiences and would have any significant correlation?

I'll spare you the Twitter embedding (this time), but the Bellas, Natalya and Maria Menounos are currently Tweeting back and forth setting up a Total Divas tag match at Summerslam.

It would be The Bellas vs. Maria Menounos and Natalya, except Nikki might not be cleared to wrestle due to her injury (is it her foot or ankle? Why do I think Justin would know?). The Bellas are teasing a new partner for Brie. (If it's Eva Marie, it'll be a glorious car wreck.)



"Cody, I mustache you a question." - The Miz
DJ FrostyFreeze
Knackwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: Hawthorne, CA

Since last post: 45 days
Last activity: 4 hours
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.58
Read it and weep, fella


    Originally posted by lotjx
    Please tell me this went head to head with Breaking Bad and got killed, so we never have to deal with this again.
You already dont have to deal with it... by not watching it.



CLICK OR DIE
Prolly time for a new sig :(
John Orquiola
Scrapple








Since: 28.2.02
From: Boston

Since last post: 116 days
Last activity: 116 days
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.17
Also, Breaking Bad is on at 9pm and Total Divas is on at 10pm. So.



"Cody, I mustache you a question." - The Miz
lotjx
Scrapple








Since: 5.9.08

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 8 hours
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.12
    Originally posted by DJ FrostyFreeze
      Originally posted by lotjx
      Please tell me this went head to head with Breaking Bad and got killed, so we never have to deal with this again.
    You already dont have to deal with it... by not watching it.


I am more concerned about it bleeding into Raw.



The Wee Baby Sheamus.Twitter: @realjoecarfley its a bit more toned down there. A bit.
JustinShapiro
Scrapple
Moderator








Since: 12.12.01
From: Pittsburgh, PA

Since last post: 7 days
Last activity: 8 hours
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.79
The show is everything it sets out to accomplish. I don't know why you'd judge it by the criteria of whether it makes the IC title strong or something. I mean, we've all seen Queen of Jordan and Real Asian Prison Housewives of the Orange County White Collar Prison System, we know what these shows are supposed to be. I think it's kind of endearing to see WWE actually succeed at capturing a different genre for once, even if that genre is "vapid assembly line reality TV," though presumably that's because they completely farmed out production to an E! company to thoroughly do their thang.

Plus it's going to be good for the careers of Daniel Bryan and Natalya of all people. That's pretty hilarious.

Nikki was the star of this one. The cold open demonstrating how soccer made her dumb and the shot of her not packing anything were so good. She was a strong heel, though she did not achieve the earlier excellence of the truly gifted Ariane. Sadly Ariane made no attempt this week to turn thebomb.com and Girl Bye into her recurring catchphrases.

I burst out laughing the second Sebastian appeared on screen. Sebastian, Vincent, and Eva Marie's donut guy would be a great addition to the burgeoning six-man tag division.

Jimmy Uso's performance in the big argument scene was an Austin 3:16 moment for him.

Lifelong dream to move to Aberdeen, split-second decision to move to Phoenix due to moderate dog angst. Our storylines progress quickly. I wish they'd found a reason for Nikki to say "I'd rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona."

The guy who came up with the scenes where Bill Demott told Trinity she was being so indecisive in the ring (SYMBOLISM!!!) and where Nikki was boxing Brie was really shooting for that Enny nomination for directing. So complex. (The Ennys are the Emmys for Reality TV, Non-Amazing Race Category; they are named after Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica.)

I hope that Stern Sara Del Ray Background Shots become "a meme."

So excited for next week when Natalya tells Tyson he's fucking pathetic.

(edited by JustinShapiro on 12.8.13 1911)
JustinShapiro
Scrapple
Moderator








Since: 12.12.01
From: Pittsburgh, PA

Since last post: 7 days
Last activity: 8 hours
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.79
    Originally posted by John
    It would be The Bellas vs. Maria Menounos and Natalya, except Nikki might not be cleared to wrestle due to her injury (is it her foot or ankle? Why do I think Justin would know?). The Bellas are teasing a new partner for Brie. (If it's Eva Marie, it'll be a glorious car wreck.)


When I first read about this, I got so excited thinking Maria Kanellis was doing the Matt Hardy outsider angle with the Bellas. I really hope they work things out with Maria K, Sammartino style, and she's on season 2. They could even blur her face.

I think Nikki has a broken shin or something like that? In the season preview, we learned that it could be career-threatening, like JoJo's injury this week which medically-speaking is known as a "light to no concussion."
JustinShapiro
Scrapple
Moderator








Since: 12.12.01
From: Pittsburgh, PA

Since last post: 7 days
Last activity: 8 hours
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.79
I only triple post to officially declare a new boom period. Or should I say newboom.com.

The third show on Sunday did 1.67 million viewers, up from 1.53 million from last week. At this current rate of growth, by episode 200 it will be the most-watched show in America.
John Orquiola
Scrapple








Since: 28.2.02
From: Boston

Since last post: 116 days
Last activity: 116 days
#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.17
Not just Maria, but Kelly Kelly and Maryse are both in LA at the moment (according to their Twitters) and very likely seeing their old WWE crew for Summerslam week.

I dream of Total Divas: Invasion where Maria, K2, Maryse, maybe Eve, or any combination therein join the new season and flaunt their boyfriends and (future) husbands, all infuriating Nikki, who *still* can't see a diamond ring from her man John Cena.

GIRL-BYE.



"Cody, I mustache you a question." - The Miz
John Orquiola
Scrapple








Since: 28.2.02
From: Boston

Since last post: 116 days
Last activity: 116 days
#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.17
PWInsider (pwinsider.com) says the Maria Menounos and Natalya vs. The Bellas (or Brie and a substitute) match is actually taking place at Summerslam Axxess. Weird, unless they're filming it for Extra or something.

Update: Nikki is not cleared.



(edited by John Orquiola on 14.8.13 0805)


"Cody, I mustache you a question." - The Miz
John Orquiola
Scrapple








Since: 28.2.02
From: Boston

Since last post: 116 days
Last activity: 116 days
#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.17
    Originally posted by JustinShapiro
    I only triple post to officially declare a new boom period. Or should I say newboom.com.

    The third show on Sunday did 1.67 million viewers, up from 1.53 million from last week. At this current rate of growth, by episode 200 it will be the most-watched show in America.


E! is so happy with how ratings have grown week to week that...





"Cody, I mustache you a question." - The Miz
thecubsfan
Scrapple
Moderator








Since: 10.12.01
From: Aurora, IL

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 3 hours
#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.33
Seems weird they're announcing an extended season and not the inevitable season 2. I guess it maybe means they're not just happy with it, but they feel they need it to help whatever they've got on the schedule for November - Total Divas not just a show that's keeping up the station average, but something they can build around.

(or maybe they just agreed for an episode fee for 'season 1' but had an option for more episodes and this was just the easiest way to handle it.)

(edited by thecubsfan on 14.8.13 1116)

thecubsfan.com - luchablog
Mr Shh
Toulouse








Since: 9.1.02
From: Bergen County, NJ

Since last post: 5 hours
Last activity: 5 hours
#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.38
    Originally posted by John Orquiola
    PWInsider (pwinsider.com) says the Maria Menounos and Natalya vs. The Bellas (or Brie and a substitute) match is actually taking place at Summerslam Axxess. Weird, unless they're filming it for Extra or something.

    Update: Nikki is not cleared.


I thought the tag match was replacing the Brie/Natalya singles match, but apparently not (wwe.com).
    Originally posted by WWE.com
    How will the SummerSlam Axxess match affect Natalya and Brie before their one-on-one bout at SummerSlam this Sunday?




You askew my mirror. I askew yours.
Behold, my plunger.
Anagrams posted to http://twitter.com/paragonSMASH
John Orquiola
Scrapple








Since: 28.2.02
From: Boston

Since last post: 116 days
Last activity: 116 days
#17 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.17
    Originally posted by Me
    The Bellas are teasing a new partner for Brie. (If it's Eva Marie, it'll be a glorious car wreck.)


Glorious. (wwe.com)

Right when the match begins, it should be revealed, in Total Divas fashion, that Eva Marie lied to the Bellas about being a wrestler just like she lied to Fandango about being a dancer.

(edited by John Orquiola on 15.8.13 1124)


"Cody, I mustache you a question." - The Miz
Greymarch
Boerewors








Since: 24.2.03
From: Toronto, Canada

Since last post: 5 days
Last activity: 5 hours
#18 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.27
Well it's only fair that each team has a non-wrestler. :)
John Orquiola
Scrapple








Since: 28.2.02
From: Boston

Since last post: 116 days
Last activity: 116 days
#19 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.17
Total Divas Axxess match results:




This boosts Maria Menounos' WWE undefeated streak to an impressive 4-0. Maria Menounos cannot be beaten.

Obviously, Summerslam is tonight and I'll be watching that so any Total Divas thread will be started late, late tonight or tomorrow. The drama of Natalya and Tyson Kidd's relationship plus fans calling Nikki fat on Twitter will just have to wait.



"Cody, I mustache you a question." - The Miz
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