-WWE Idol- We start with Booker, he says he's done some rapping & he's improvising a cool rhyme right now & raps it & I laugh. Trish is next, she says she sings in the car or shower(um a duet with Lil in the shower, ah focus NHS), she can actually hold a tune pretty well, J. Johnson agrees & says she has talent(Trish & Lil double bill oh yes, oops back to the segment). Dudleyz is next, Bubba plays the piano(who knew). Their goal? Be better Y2J... Rikishi is next & he's bloody awful "Have a problem Put some ass on it?" WTF, he compares himself to that black singer with a deep voice, James Earl Jones must be spinning. Stacy sounds good, but alot of music over her voice. Lita is so Avril & hearing her makes me want to take an Advil. Finally Y2J, who says he can do anything! Reggae, Opera, Ska. Claims he's 16 out of 10 & no one can compare to his greatness. Y2J & Austin will be signing copies after Raw. But so is Trish & Lil!!!
-Brock is Huge- These wrestling dudes sure love being in muscle magazine. Why is it that girls leave muscle and fitness magazines to become wrestlers but so many male wrestlers desire to be in muscle dudes magazines so badly LoL. HHH was the only non-Body builder to be in the pages until NOW. Glorious day for Brock. He says he never picked up so much weight(so just take a smaller weight and put a fake number)... But NO Brock has integrity and picks up that weight ERRRRRRR Strong. But the photographer forgot to take out the lens cap so they had to do it again Brock ERRRR Angry(Okay I made lens part up). The title of the story is Brock and Roll. Nope I wish I made that up, it's actually true. Not alot of originality or substance in the title. I guess all the substance is in the bodybuilder. Haha ha!
-Los Guerreros better days- Eddie and Chavo are at the low riders contest (not the jeans the cars). Eddie is happy that the WWE is paying attention to La Raza. Chavo is a little jealous that Eddie gets all the attention. Ha I like the dice table, Chavo threw 11. They picked one and drove down the street with it (You can actually drive in those? on the street!). Chavo says the owner is lucky they didn't steal his girl along with his car
-Kerry Von Erich vs. Curt Hennig- Ever since I was told about Kerry's club foot I keep getting distracted by his match in trying to catch, I still donít' buy it. Kerry comes in with a Ric Flair type rope but a tornado behind it and some boots with the little stringy things coming from what (what are they called?). Better stop before SHG gets mad... Hennig looked good in there like always in that era, selling a ton and getting some crisp offense in. Kerry was umm, let me be nice. He was carried decently. Good to see Bobby Hennan out there. Segment lasted 4 and a half minutes with about 3-minutes of the actual match.
-Cole & Tazz commentary without the matches- Cole and Tazz host an AM Alt. Rock morning show. What's alternative to rock? Talk! As Cole and Tazz do alot of that. So many compliments come raining in saying there the best thing since Dr. Laura (now that's impressive!). Once girl calls in and "wonders where's the music?" (You want music BUY WWE Originals, Byatch!)... Oh my Gosh, Tazz and Cole do some wacky morning show schtick with a call in from a guy getting ready to go on a date and they added sound effects and everything! I thought only my AM music station DJ in the morning do the wacky skits, what are the odds of a music station in Houston doing the same!
-Outside The Ropes: Austin- Q-Who's more fashionable Austin/Kojak? Stone Cold! Q-Who curses more Austin/Cartman? StoneCold, he doesn't even know who Cartman is, Wow. Q-Chances of any female deputy? Austin actually likes that idea. Q-Beer drinking/Deer hunting? Austin can drink beer any time he wants, deer hunting is only part of the year, so it gets the edge, Coach likes hunting quails... Q-Why no beer endorsement, are they mad you waste so much of it? Austin says, 50/50 mouth to shirt percentage, the half that goes on the shirt is visuals for the crowd what goes into his mouth is for StoneCold, as to why no endorsement, big beer companies are scared of StoneCold, he wants to come out with his own beer. Q-Ever had Zima? Taste like soup up sprite. Q-Stone Cold Truth book, is the title a lie? Austin says it's all true. Q-If you can give one more stunner who would it be? Answer, Goldberg.
Better then average Confidential this week. I really liked the first segment, I know there's a lot of dissing of the album, but I'm having a kick out of it. I heard some good, I heard some bad. I laughed, I cried, I tried stabbing my eardrums with a Q-tip. It's all good, as long as you don't put some ass on it. Austinís OTR was pretty good especially towards the end. Guerreros & SD announcer segment was alright. The Vault match wasn't Hennig best match, but still good to see those faces from the past. Brock flexing was well Brock flexing... Looking back it looks like the first segment was so fun for me that I was in a good mood for the rest of the show. Speaking of good moods, next week Trish Stratus on Confidential.
smark/net attack wienerville advisory is on ORANGE alert - High (Due to Bob Holly WWE Title match, Kliq/Kliq PPV World Title match, Mae Young appearance) 1/6
Get your WWE CD copy autographed by Stone Cold Steve Austin, Chris Jericho, Trish Stratus and Lilian Garcia after Raw... Oh MY! Christmas has come late. Can't get better then that.
I caught the first segment, began the Brock segment and turned to the UNCF telethon to see Beyonce after that. Now THAT, my friends, is talent!! I can't hate on her.
As for the singing:
Stacy Kiebler's little ditty was like a club song you hear while you're out shopping. I thought the music complimented her voice well.
Lita's song was a cross between Pink and Avril. I liked it too. Also complimented her voice.
Booker T's song was good... his freestyle was not:
If you gonna get down, you gonna lay down. If you gonna lay down, you gonna stay down.
Rey Mysterio's song was all right. I can't think of anything good or bad to say about it.
The Dudley's song was pretty good. I love Bubba for playing the piano. He's pretty good.
Rikishi's song reminded me of my drunk uncle at 10:00pm after a function. Singing off-key and bad lyrics. ugh!
The best thing I can say about Trish's singing is that her 'Chick Kick' is a pretty effective wrestling move. But, it was a good try. Maybe she was timid about the camera. I hope they brushed that up before it went to print.
Chris Jericho is the winner to me. Maybe it's his Fozzy experiences. I loved the lyrics and sang them all night, laughing. It's kinda catchy:
I see the way you look at me... you envy me.... Don't you wish you were me. You wanna be me.
From what I've seen, I would only buy this CD for the novelty of it all. And maybe jam to Lita and Stacy's songs. I loved them the best.
But the highlight of the show, from what I did see, was John Henson's commercial for his own show. It was during that first commercial break and he was talking about Steve 'Crocodile Hunter' Irwin. He was shocked, not by the fact that he held his 1 month old son a few feet away from the crocodile, rather because someone had had sex with the guy. Too funny.
Wonder how long it will take for that album to make the annals of wrestlecrap?
But you got to hand it to them, they know how to sell shit. Who else but WWE could make a this piece, about an album sung by wrestlers, look like the "Making of Abby Road?" ONLY WWE...Unintentional funny shit people.
For the past few days, I've had bits and pieces of the two songs Todd Pettingill (no, I don't care if that's spelled wrong) sang at the 1996 and 1997 Slammy awards going through my head. I cannot for the life of me remember the full lyrics.