WWE SUNDAY NIGHT HEAT WORKRATE REPORT – April, 25, 2004 Five day turnaround and only one viewing needed. Each week I get a little closer to cranking these out in less than 24… errr… 48… maybe 72 hours. How watching WWE programming is going to get me out of my wrestling hating ways is beyond me but Heat is getting all sorts of fun.
WHAT WORKED If this truly was Lance Storm’s final match, he went out with a fine little affair against Stevie Richards. The Canadian folks went hog wild for Storm, giving the match some charm. Storm was fired up and Richards was getting the heel heat. Storm had the same offense as he has been using his entire career so the early sections of the match were nothing you hadn’t seen before. Storm bumped big off the arm breaker and then Richards went to work on the arm which set up Storm as the babyface trying to make the comeback one armed. Man, the near fall off the leg lariat was great (which Richards wasn’t afraid to lean into and that the crack production team wasn’t afraid to nearly miss). I need a Richards/Venis tag team, as they are my favorite guys on the Heat roster fuck probably on the entire roster right now.
I loved Rhyno working as the world’s pudgiest Gary Young. I tend to enjoy both his matches and Shelton Benjamin’s. This was a fun yet flawed match. Rhyno probably needed to go about like two more minutes before actually locking up. And Benjamin needs to be willing to take the enormous bump of the top rope. If there was ever a match where Rhyno needed to bust out the body vice, it was this one. He could have easily worked it in inside of going to the chinlock twice. The nifty spinebuster earned a lot of points. The finish was eh. I cut this goes a lot of slack.
WHAT DIDN’T WORK I guess the drug bills became a little more than Brian Christopher could handle so here he is, returned to Heat having a pedestrian match against Wavell Star. Star looks like the hybrid of Scotty Riggs, Scott Putski and many of the Youngbloods. The tassels on the boots would not save this match. Star appears to be the 87th best “Native American” working in the states right now.
While Coach not announcing would be welcomed by most but whoever this Todd clown is, he was actually a step down. Does the WWE just keep a car outside the Connecticut School of Broadcasting on the look out for people who walk that fine line of having effeminate hair yet having that date rapist quality.
Oh, so this isn’t going to be a tag match. Just Rosey. Yeah, not looking forward to this as much. At least its Conway and not Grainer. That will at least keep my eyes from bleeding. Rosey also no sold the unmasking thus earning my scorn.
So, the WWE rehab program consists of Canadians sitting at home taking GHB? Fuck and I though Kidman became gassed to the gills during his time off but Edge makes him look like Spike Dudley. I take it Mrs. Copeland is no longer a satisfied woman.
Thank you very much, everyone, for the compliments. I wasn't sure many people would like the piece, so it's a relief and delight to hear that it was a winner with a few readers. And no, Sangre, I haven't totally gone the way of Llakor.