Being that it was Virginai Homeschool day and thus kids tickets were 5 bones, I took the day off and took my two oldest lil punkins to the Virginia State Fair on Virginia's sacred soil at the Richmond International Raceway- on the same site as the legendary drunken debacle called WrestleForce America. There was steady drizzling from the approaching hurricane, but my kids- being kids- could give a crap and went on every child ride three times at least. To make sure that God reminds me that my kids are growing up fast and that I am the oldest motherfucker on earth, my oldest went on her first non-child ride- the Giant Swing- twice. I awaited the Rolling Cradle. The ODDEST thing was that everytime we ever go on a Merry-Go-Round, I ask my younguns what their horse's name is. Today, my oldest said "Natasha" and my youngest said- and I couldn't make this up- "Rocko Rock". I got a weird chill as we swung around. We hit the barnyard exhibits when the rain got too heavy and we saw these GIGANTIC rabbits. They were like the size of full-grown beagles. We got out of the rain a few times and watched the annual pig races (From Pork Chop Downs! BOO-YA!) and then watched the weird ass Harness Shetland Pony competition (the unhappiest Shetland was running the barrel race hauling a woman the size of two Delta Burkes but only lost by 4 seconds. C'MON LADY! put down the Regular Recipe until after the fair!) We went back on the rides after we wandered around the whole racing complex looking for a motherfucking phone. The Most Like The ToothChipper award goes to the COMPLETELY balls out Killer Whale kiddie ride. It went about as fast as my old 305 2-barrel Ford Maverick on I-64 and the carney kept change up the speeds on it, making the children screech in delight. The Woman Carney at the Bulldozer ride wanted a piece of my hot loving action but unfortunately my kids were there and also I have this fear of irreparrable acid burns on my junk. I spent 40 dollars on food, the pinnacle being a Gyro and a big batch of actual Carolina Barbecue. It was fun. Kids rule. Skynard plays Sunday. There was no butter sculpture but there were TWO giant tents of goats. The cows were stinky like you like them. Fairs rock.
Ah, Dean, we went to the Union Fair this year, home of the Blueberry Queen pageant. That rocks. My kids have yet to ride the "big" rides yet, but my oldest loves the scary funhouses, so that might be considered a big kid ride. Alas, we had no beagle sized rabbits, but they did have some mangy looking 3 toed sloth. What the hell is that doing at the fair I ask?
He's Rolie Polie Olie - and in his world of curves and curls, he's the swellest kid around.
Originally posted by DEAN RASMUSSEN Skynard plays Sunday.
But when does ALABAMA play? It's not a fair without Alabama! Although Eddie Money is an acceptable substitute.
(edited by Mild Mannered Madman on 26.9.02 2312)
----- DR: Lone Star is playing this week- which is just like having Alabama play. I would go see Eddie Money play. Yes I would. There was a demolition derby AND a monster truck area- but none of them were active while we were there. I pointed out the monster truck to my younguns but they were far more interested in the spinning Killer Whale ride.
For rabbits being beagle-sized, I wouldn't say ours is that big, but it's at least 10-15 pounds and around two feet long when splayed out.
Were they bigger?
"There's an old saying in Tennessee—I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee—that says, fool me once, shame on—shame on you. Fool me—you can't get fooled again."— George W. Bush, Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002
Okay, one more, then I'm going to bed. We can all rip on K-Fed but he DID get me over to YouTube to find this music video by Brian Posehn (Mr. Show, Tom Goes to the Mayor) "Metal By Numbers" (youtube.com) (5:45) DISCLAIMER: TURN IT UP